« previous next »
Pages: 1 [2] 3   Go Down

The Jokes thread

  • 87 Replies
  • 22397 Views
*

NotSoSkeptical

  • 8820
  • +52/-26
  • Bestest Buddy of "wise"
Re: The Jokes thread
« Reply #30 on: November 06, 2025, 07:13:34 AM »
Quote from: wise on November 06, 2025, 04:50:08 AM
A Muslim Indian was elected mayor of the largest city in the US country governed by Trump.

(Simulator jokes Trump)

What's the joke?  Municipal elections aren't an indicator of anything, other than the stupidity of the locals.
Logged
If "deserving" time was a factor for responding on these forums, then no one would be here posting.
?

Phases of Venus

  • 272
  • +17/-19
Re: The Jokes thread
« Reply #31 on: November 06, 2025, 08:43:48 PM »
Wise is so unemployed....
Logged
*

Torve

  • 2294
  • +83/-117
  • Autism Centre Owner
Re: The Jokes thread
« Reply #32 on: December 06, 2025, 03:46:57 AM »
Jennifer Lopez was the youngest of many siblings. 'Lopez' is not in fact her last name, but a nickname. Whenever there was Pez available to the kids in a dispenser, Jennifer was always the last to get one as the youngest, the bottom Pez piece in the dispenser, the Lo-Pez.



Logged
?

Phases of Venus

  • 272
  • +17/-19
Re: The Jokes thread
« Reply #33 on: December 06, 2025, 10:48:29 PM »
Too Funny!
Logged
?

Timekeeper

  • 47
  • +0/-1
  • Flat earth is wrong. pretty simple tbh
Re: The Jokes thread
« Reply #34 on: December 11, 2025, 12:53:46 AM »
Quote from: Torve on September 19, 2025, 05:08:18 AM
Post your joke.



Old joke, new joke, original joke, dad joke.

I may be late to the thread, but it wasn't as late as your mom's abortion
« Last Edit: December 11, 2025, 12:56:14 AM by Timekeeper »
Logged
?

Phases of Venus

  • 272
  • +17/-19
Re: The Jokes thread
« Reply #35 on: December 16, 2025, 06:02:59 PM »
Wise is so unemployed....
Logged
*

wise

  • Professor
  • Flat Earth Scientist
  • 30077
  • +129/-72
  • The Only Yang Scholar in Ying Universe
Re: The Jokes thread
« Reply #36 on: December 25, 2025, 04:51:52 AM »
... says the guy whose full time job is counting Venus phases in The Flat Earth Society forum.
Logged
Quote from: wise on July 23, 2019, 12:33:16 PM
He (somebody) is a troll homo playing role of girl.

(Look at the date)

WERERPC LEVEL2

DAY 1 ENDS IN:

*

wise

  • Professor
  • Flat Earth Scientist
  • 30077
  • +129/-72
  • The Only Yang Scholar in Ying Universe
Re: The Jokes thread
« Reply #37 on: December 25, 2025, 05:40:09 AM »
What's the difference between Phases of Venus and a broken record? The broken record eventually stops repeating itself.    ;D

What's Phases of Venus' life motto? Why have a personality when you can have phases?  8)

What’s Phases of Venus’ workout routine? Mental gymnastics — but he never gets past the first phase.

What would Phases of Venus call his autobiography? "The Rise of Blank Pages: A Phase Fairy Tale."

What's written on Phases of Venus' birthday cake? "1 Year, 0 Personality."

What's Phases of Venus' contribution to science? "Proof that a personality can have a half-life of zero."

What's Phases of Venus' pick‑up line? My love for you has infinite phases — and zero substance.

What do the Phases of Venus do when the neighborhood is burning? She combs her hair.

What do the Phases of Venus do when the house is flooding? He checks his ass reflected in the water.

What is the difference between a parrot and the phases of Venus? One of them can actually fly.  ;D
Logged
Quote from: wise on July 23, 2019, 12:33:16 PM
He (somebody) is a troll homo playing role of girl.

(Look at the date)

WERERPC LEVEL2

DAY 1 ENDS IN:

*

Aera23

  • :3
  • 1359
  • +99/-51
  • :3
Re: The Jokes thread
« Reply #38 on: December 26, 2025, 05:00:06 PM »
Logged
:3 (ensure VPN is off to avoid temp bans)
Quote from: bulmabriefs144 on October 28, 2023, 05:11:33 PM
I am bulmabriefs144, Smasher of Testicles.  You see? Titles are ridiculous.
*

JimmyTheLobster

  • 1588
  • +29/-48
Re: The Jokes thread
« Reply #39 on: January 05, 2026, 10:26:34 AM »
Quote from: wise on December 25, 2025, 05:40:09 AM
What's the difference between Phases of Venus and a broken record? The broken record eventually stops repeating itself.    ;D

What's Phases of Venus' life motto? Why have a personality when you can have phases?  8)

What’s Phases of Venus’ workout routine? Mental gymnastics — but he never gets past the first phase.

What would Phases of Venus call his autobiography? "The Rise of Blank Pages: A Phase Fairy Tale."

What's written on Phases of Venus' birthday cake? "1 Year, 0 Personality."

What's Phases of Venus' contribution to science? "Proof that a personality can have a half-life of zero."

What's Phases of Venus' pick‑up line? My love for you has infinite phases — and zero substance.

What do the Phases of Venus do when the neighborhood is burning? She combs her hair.

What do the Phases of Venus do when the house is flooding? He checks his ass reflected in the water.

What is the difference between a parrot and the phases of Venus? One of them can actually fly.  ;D
ChatGPT please give me 10 jokes bases on the Phases of Venus.  Most of them make no sense whatsoever.
Logged
"I'm not entirely sure who this guy is, but JimmyTheLobster is clearly a genius.  Probably one of the smartest arthropods  of his generation." - JimmyTheCrab

Quote from: bulmabriefs144
The woke left have tried to erase photosynthesis
*

wise

  • Professor
  • Flat Earth Scientist
  • 30077
  • +129/-72
  • The Only Yang Scholar in Ying Universe
Re: The Jokes thread
« Reply #40 on: January 05, 2026, 09:46:34 PM »
Quote from: JimmyTheLobster on January 05, 2026, 10:26:34 AM
Quote from: wise on December 25, 2025, 05:40:09 AM
What's the difference between Phases of Venus and a broken record? The broken record eventually stops repeating itself.    ;D

What's Phases of Venus' life motto? Why have a personality when you can have phases?  8)

What’s Phases of Venus’ workout routine? Mental gymnastics — but he never gets past the first phase.

What would Phases of Venus call his autobiography? "The Rise of Blank Pages: A Phase Fairy Tale."

What's written on Phases of Venus' birthday cake? "1 Year, 0 Personality."

What's Phases of Venus' contribution to science? "Proof that a personality can have a half-life of zero."

What's Phases of Venus' pick‑up line? My love for you has infinite phases — and zero substance.

What do the Phases of Venus do when the neighborhood is burning? She combs her hair.

What do the Phases of Venus do when the house is flooding? He checks his ass reflected in the water.

What is the difference between a parrot and the phases of Venus? One of them can actually fly.  ;D
ChatGPT please give me 10 jokes bases on the Phases of Venus.  Most of them make no sense whatsoever.

What do the Phases of Venus do when the neighborhood is burning? She combs her hair.

This joke only known in Türkiye. Therefors it does not make sense to you.
Logged
Quote from: wise on July 23, 2019, 12:33:16 PM
He (somebody) is a troll homo playing role of girl.

(Look at the date)

WERERPC LEVEL2

DAY 1 ENDS IN:

?

Phases of Venus

  • 272
  • +17/-19
Re: The Jokes thread
« Reply #41 on: January 07, 2026, 06:05:06 AM »
Why don't scientists trust atoms?
Logged
*

wise

  • Professor
  • Flat Earth Scientist
  • 30077
  • +129/-72
  • The Only Yang Scholar in Ying Universe
Re: The Jokes thread
« Reply #42 on: January 07, 2026, 06:20:26 AM »
Because they make up everything.
Logged
Quote from: wise on July 23, 2019, 12:33:16 PM
He (somebody) is a troll homo playing role of girl.

(Look at the date)

WERERPC LEVEL2

DAY 1 ENDS IN:

*

wise

  • Professor
  • Flat Earth Scientist
  • 30077
  • +129/-72
  • The Only Yang Scholar in Ying Universe
Re: The Jokes thread
« Reply #43 on: January 08, 2026, 04:52:47 AM »
1- Why don't robots ever panic during a power outage? 🤖

2- Why did Schrödinger's cat get kicked out of the library?  8)

3- Why did the firewall break up with the antivirus software?  ;D

4- Why do architects make terrible psychiatrists?

5- Why are deep-sea currents never elected to parliament?  >:D

TIP:
Quote from: JimmyTheLobster on January 05, 2026, 10:26:34 AM
ChatGPT please give me answer of these.
Logged
Quote from: wise on July 23, 2019, 12:33:16 PM
He (somebody) is a troll homo playing role of girl.

(Look at the date)

WERERPC LEVEL2

DAY 1 ENDS IN:

*

Aera23

  • :3
  • 1359
  • +99/-51
  • :3
Re: The Jokes thread
« Reply #44 on: January 08, 2026, 05:18:49 PM »
Quote from: wise on January 05, 2026, 09:46:34 PM
Quote from: JimmyTheLobster on January 05, 2026, 10:26:34 AM
Quote from: wise on December 25, 2025, 05:40:09 AM
What's the difference between Phases of Venus and a broken record? The broken record eventually stops repeating itself.    ;D

What's Phases of Venus' life motto? Why have a personality when you can have phases?  8)

What’s Phases of Venus’ workout routine? Mental gymnastics — but he never gets past the first phase.

What would Phases of Venus call his autobiography? "The Rise of Blank Pages: A Phase Fairy Tale."

What's written on Phases of Venus' birthday cake? "1 Year, 0 Personality."

What's Phases of Venus' contribution to science? "Proof that a personality can have a half-life of zero."

What's Phases of Venus' pick‑up line? My love for you has infinite phases — and zero substance.

What do the Phases of Venus do when the neighborhood is burning? She combs her hair.

What do the Phases of Venus do when the house is flooding? He checks his ass reflected in the water.

What is the difference between a parrot and the phases of Venus? One of them can actually fly.  ;D
ChatGPT please give me 10 jokes bases on the Phases of Venus.  Most of them make no sense whatsoever.

What do the Phases of Venus do when the neighborhood is burning? She combs her hair.

This joke only known in Türkiye. Therefors it does not make sense to you.
Mmm, what makes it a joke in Türkiye?
Logged
:3 (ensure VPN is off to avoid temp bans)
Quote from: bulmabriefs144 on October 28, 2023, 05:11:33 PM
I am bulmabriefs144, Smasher of Testicles.  You see? Titles are ridiculous.
*

JimmyTheLobster

  • 1588
  • +29/-48
Re: The Jokes thread
« Reply #45 on: January 09, 2026, 02:09:02 AM »
Quote from: Aera23 on January 08, 2026, 05:18:49 PM

Mmm, what makes it a joke in Türkiye?
Ask a chatbot, that's all he does.
Logged
"I'm not entirely sure who this guy is, but JimmyTheLobster is clearly a genius.  Probably one of the smartest arthropods  of his generation." - JimmyTheCrab

Quote from: bulmabriefs144
The woke left have tried to erase photosynthesis
*

wise

  • Professor
  • Flat Earth Scientist
  • 30077
  • +129/-72
  • The Only Yang Scholar in Ying Universe
Re: The Jokes thread
« Reply #46 on: January 09, 2026, 02:20:02 AM »
Quote from: JimmyTheLobster on January 09, 2026, 02:09:02 AM
Quote from: Aera23 on January 08, 2026, 05:18:49 PM

Mmm, what makes it a joke in Türkiye?
Ask a chatbot, that's all he does.
Yeah man, chatbot:

Quote from: wise on January 08, 2026, 04:52:47 AM
1- Why don't robots ever panic during a power outage? 🤖

2- Why did Schrödinger's cat get kicked out of the library?  8)

3- Why did the firewall break up with the antivirus software?  ;D

4- Why do architects make terrible psychiatrists?

5- Why are deep-sea currents never elected to parliament?  >:D

TIP:
Quote from: JimmyTheLobster on January 05, 2026, 10:26:34 AM
ChatGPT please give me answer of these.

Yet not you ask the answers of these jokes to your chatbot?
Logged
Quote from: wise on July 23, 2019, 12:33:16 PM
He (somebody) is a troll homo playing role of girl.

(Look at the date)

WERERPC LEVEL2

DAY 1 ENDS IN:

*

wise

  • Professor
  • Flat Earth Scientist
  • 30077
  • +129/-72
  • The Only Yang Scholar in Ying Universe
Re: The Jokes thread
« Reply #47 on: January 09, 2026, 02:23:49 AM »
Quote from: Aera23 on January 08, 2026, 05:18:49 PM
Quote from: wise on January 05, 2026, 09:46:34 PM
Quote from: JimmyTheLobster on January 05, 2026, 10:26:34 AM
Quote from: wise on December 25, 2025, 05:40:09 AM
What's the difference between Phases of Venus and a broken record? The broken record eventually stops repeating itself.    ;D

What's Phases of Venus' life motto? Why have a personality when you can have phases?  8)

What’s Phases of Venus’ workout routine? Mental gymnastics — but he never gets past the first phase.

What would Phases of Venus call his autobiography? "The Rise of Blank Pages: A Phase Fairy Tale."

What's written on Phases of Venus' birthday cake? "1 Year, 0 Personality."

What's Phases of Venus' contribution to science? "Proof that a personality can have a half-life of zero."

What's Phases of Venus' pick‑up line? My love for you has infinite phases — and zero substance.

What do the Phases of Venus do when the neighborhood is burning? She combs her hair.

What do the Phases of Venus do when the house is flooding? He checks his ass reflected in the water.

What is the difference between a parrot and the phases of Venus? One of them can actually fly.  ;D
ChatGPT please give me 10 jokes bases on the Phases of Venus.  Most of them make no sense whatsoever.

What do the Phases of Venus do when the neighborhood is burning? She combs her hair.

This joke only known in Türkiye. Therefors it does not make sense to you.
Mmm, what makes it a joke in Türkiye?
Some of these are only known in Turkey and will not be known by a chatbot. But they cannot know the questions I ask below in also Turkey. Only wise can ask this.
Logged
Quote from: wise on July 23, 2019, 12:33:16 PM
He (somebody) is a troll homo playing role of girl.

(Look at the date)

WERERPC LEVEL2

DAY 1 ENDS IN:

*

disputeone

  • 27982
  • +107/-87
  • Or should I?
Re: The Jokes thread
« Reply #48 on: January 09, 2026, 08:26:49 PM »
Quote from: JimmyTheLobster on January 09, 2026, 02:09:02 AM
Quote from: Aera23 on January 08, 2026, 05:18:49 PM

Mmm, what makes it a joke in Türkiye?
Ask a chatbot, that's all he does.

Beep boop.
Logged
Quote from: Crouton on July 15, 2024, 05:37:14 AM
Why would that be inciting terrorism?  Lorddave was merely describing a type of shop we have here in the US, a bomb-gun shop.  A shop that sells bomb-guns.
*

wise

  • Professor
  • Flat Earth Scientist
  • 30077
  • +129/-72
  • The Only Yang Scholar in Ying Universe
Re: The Jokes thread
« Reply #49 on: January 09, 2026, 11:46:09 PM »
Quote from: disputeone on January 09, 2026, 08:26:49 PM
Quote from: JimmyTheLobster on January 09, 2026, 02:09:02 AM
Quote from: Aera23 on January 08, 2026, 05:18:49 PM

Mmm, what makes it a joke in Türkiye?
Ask a chatbot, that's all he does.

Beep boop.
+1
01001010  00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110010 01100101 01110100 01100001 01110010 01100100

 ;D

« Last Edit: January 10, 2026, 01:05:11 AM by wise »
Logged
Quote from: wise on July 23, 2019, 12:33:16 PM
He (somebody) is a troll homo playing role of girl.

(Look at the date)

WERERPC LEVEL2

DAY 1 ENDS IN:

*

Aera23

  • :3
  • 1359
  • +99/-51
  • :3
Re: The Jokes thread
« Reply #50 on: January 10, 2026, 05:39:25 PM »
ChatGPT said:

In Turkish, “Venüs’ün evreleri” literally means “Phases of Venus” (the planet), but Venüs is also the brand name for a famous women’s razor in Türkiye.

“She combs her hair” refers to a daily grooming activity, which humorously contrasts with the dramatic situation of a “burning neighborhood.”

So, the joke is funny because a planetary/astrological concept (Phases of Venus) or something cosmic is suddenly linked to something very mundane and human (combing hair), and the Turkish wordplay makes it unexpectedly relatable.
Logged
:3 (ensure VPN is off to avoid temp bans)
Quote from: bulmabriefs144 on October 28, 2023, 05:11:33 PM
I am bulmabriefs144, Smasher of Testicles.  You see? Titles are ridiculous.
?

Phases of Venus

  • 272
  • +17/-19
Re: The Jokes thread
« Reply #51 on: January 10, 2026, 06:17:24 PM »
What do cats eat for breakfast?
Logged
*

wise

  • Professor
  • Flat Earth Scientist
  • 30077
  • +129/-72
  • The Only Yang Scholar in Ying Universe
Re: The Jokes thread
« Reply #52 on: January 11, 2026, 09:34:20 PM »
Quote from: Aera23 on January 10, 2026, 05:39:25 PM
ChatGPT said:

In Turkish, “Venüs’ün evreleri” literally means “Phases of Venus” (the planet), but Venüs is also the brand name for a famous women’s razor in Türkiye.

“She combs her hair” refers to a daily grooming activity, which humorously contrasts with the dramatic situation of a “burning neighborhood.”

So, the joke is funny because a planetary/astrological concept (Phases of Venus) or something cosmic is suddenly linked to something very mundane and human (combing hair), and the Turkish wordplay makes it unexpectedly relatable.
Ask chatgpt Ask it if there is such a joke, what language it belongs to and what it means: "Mahalle yanarken orospu saçlarını tararmış"  ;D

Use this for simple search CLICK HERE
Logged
Quote from: wise on July 23, 2019, 12:33:16 PM
He (somebody) is a troll homo playing role of girl.

(Look at the date)

WERERPC LEVEL2

DAY 1 ENDS IN:

*

wise

  • Professor
  • Flat Earth Scientist
  • 30077
  • +129/-72
  • The Only Yang Scholar in Ying Universe
Re: The Jokes thread
« Reply #53 on: January 11, 2026, 09:39:31 PM »
Quote from: Phases of Venus on January 10, 2026, 06:17:24 PM
What do cats eat for breakfast?
Mice Krispies.  ;D
Logged
Quote from: wise on July 23, 2019, 12:33:16 PM
He (somebody) is a troll homo playing role of girl.

(Look at the date)

WERERPC LEVEL2

DAY 1 ENDS IN:

*

wise

  • Professor
  • Flat Earth Scientist
  • 30077
  • +129/-72
  • The Only Yang Scholar in Ying Universe
Re: The Jokes thread
« Reply #54 on: January 11, 2026, 09:48:42 PM »
Since Jimmy exceeded both his own capacity and that of his chatbot, I’m going to publish the answer to one of the questions that came to my mind. If you find a chatbot with an IQ over 180, don’t forget to ask it for the answers to the others. :)

Quote from: wise on January 08, 2026, 04:52:47 AM
1- Why don't robots ever panic during a power outage? 🤖

2- Why did Schrödinger's cat get kicked out of the library?  8)

3- Why did the firewall break up with the antivirus software?  ;D

4- Why do architects make terrible psychiatrists?

5- Why are deep-sea currents never elected to parliament?  >:D

TIP:
Quote from: JimmyTheLobster on January 05, 2026, 10:26:34 AM
ChatGPT please give me answer of these.

1- Why don't robots ever panic during a power outage?

.uɐld ɹᴉǝɥʇ uᴉ ɹǝɐʞǝɹq ʇᴉnɔɹᴉɔ ɐ ǝʌɐɥ sʎɐʍlɐ ʎǝɥʇ ǝsnɐɔǝq

 ;D

Tomorrow, 2nd. Come on, guys. Isn’t there anyone among you who has a 180-IQ chatbot? Not even Jimmy?  ;D  ;D  ;D

At the very least, you should be able to solve the Schrödinger’s cat question. I genuinely believe that and I trust you well, your AI, I mean. :)
Logged
Quote from: wise on July 23, 2019, 12:33:16 PM
He (somebody) is a troll homo playing role of girl.

(Look at the date)

WERERPC LEVEL2

DAY 1 ENDS IN:

*

Torve

  • 2294
  • +83/-117
  • Autism Centre Owner
Re: The Jokes thread
« Reply #55 on: January 12, 2026, 10:02:03 PM »
Quote from: Timekeeper on December 11, 2025, 12:53:46 AM


I may be late to the thread, but it wasn't as late as your mom's abortion

It's still pending, forget about it.
Logged
*

Torve

  • 2294
  • +83/-117
  • Autism Centre Owner
Re: The Jokes thread
« Reply #56 on: January 12, 2026, 10:09:38 PM »
Good things are often a problem when they come with things attached.

Like toilet paper.
Logged
*

Torve

  • 2294
  • +83/-117
  • Autism Centre Owner
Re: The Jokes thread
« Reply #57 on: January 12, 2026, 10:16:53 PM »
Quote from: wise on January 09, 2026, 02:23:49 AM

Some of these are only known in Turkey and will not be known by a chatbot. But they cannot know the questions I ask below in also Turkey. Only wise can ask this.

Only Turkeys have left wings.
Logged
*

wise

  • Professor
  • Flat Earth Scientist
  • 30077
  • +129/-72
  • The Only Yang Scholar in Ying Universe
Re: The Jokes thread
« Reply #58 on: January 12, 2026, 10:23:15 PM »
Quote from: Torve on January 12, 2026, 10:16:53 PM
Quote from: wise on January 09, 2026, 02:23:49 AM

Some of these are only known in Turkey and will not be known by a chatbot. But they cannot know the questions I ask below in also Turkey. Only wise can ask this.

Only Turkeys have left wings.
Okay Jack, answer this:

Why did Schrödinger's cat get kicked out of the library?  8)
Logged
Quote from: wise on July 23, 2019, 12:33:16 PM
He (somebody) is a troll homo playing role of girl.

(Look at the date)

WERERPC LEVEL2

DAY 1 ENDS IN:

*

wise

  • Professor
  • Flat Earth Scientist
  • 30077
  • +129/-72
  • The Only Yang Scholar in Ying Universe
Re: The Jokes thread
« Reply #59 on: January 14, 2026, 09:05:23 PM »
Just because they did Tuskegee and the Crack Epidemic and secretly put plutonium in citizens and Operation Sea Spray and MK Ultra and forcefully sterilized poor and disabled people doesn't mean they aren't acting in our best interest, you conspiracy theorist. ;D

[Source redpill]
Logged
Quote from: wise on July 23, 2019, 12:33:16 PM
He (somebody) is a troll homo playing role of girl.

(Look at the date)

WERERPC LEVEL2

DAY 1 ENDS IN:

Pages: 1 [2] 3   Go Up
« previous next »