How to be friends with God

Learn to be friends with people, and you will understand how to
be friends with God. In the best scenario, a friend never asks himself:
“What does this guy want from me?” It was already too late to do something
when the dark clouds appeared. Everything is over. It will not help to
move away for a while. If you stop communicating and seeing a former friend,
he won't miss you. But you have no other option. Friendship is no
more existent.

“Do not part with your loved ones; grow in them with all your blood.
And say "goodbye forever" when you leave for a moment." (Poetry)

You have to get lucky; there is no mechanism, manipulation,
or pushing. So that all life becomes one endless feast, "He who
believes in Me has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but
has passed from death into life." (Bible).

You have to be natural: you've lost a significant friend; therefore,
you will die. So tell a lost friend, as the gladiators said before the fight:
"Lord, those who are about to die are greeting You!"

More about friendship with God:
https://www.theflatearthsociety.org/forum/index.php?topic=90272.0

You have to get lucky; there is no mechanism, manipulation,
or pushing. So that all life becomes one endless feast, "He who
believes in Me has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but
has passed from death into life."

what a bot would say . . .

I'd just give him a high-five and say "Sup, Pops? How's it hangin?" And we'd be the best of friends from then until eternity.

Also masturbation, I believe a god would enjoy watching that. 

because there's no Mrs god.   


just sayin'

God seems like a judgmental arsehole. What if I don't want to be friends with him?

God seems like a judgmental arsehole. What if I don't want to be friends with him?

Oh, no no no, you need to believe or else god's dead kid won't let you keep living after you die. 

It makes total sense.  Abracadabra, magic.