Why Did Jesus Not Kill His Guards, and Escape the Cross?

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Lorddave

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Re: Why Did Jesus Not Kill His Guards, and Escape the Cross?
« Reply #30 on: December 07, 2011, 04:48:31 PM »
I've always wondered about this, if Jesus took on all the sin in the world, how did he go to Heaven? It would seem to me that either God is a hypocrite because he let Jesus (now covered in sin) into Heaven, or that God is just and Jesus it now in Hell.

As Hell is a place without God, and since Jesus is God, it makes no sense for God to be in a place without God. This leads me to believe that sinful Jesus is in Heaven and God is playing favorites (with himself no less).

The Harrowing of Hell
What bothers me is that he didn't suffer for his sins.
All he did was tell all the tortured souls "Ok, I said Original Sin is forgiven so you're all free to join me."

Now, this in itself is not a bad thing.  It's basically fixing a wrong God had made on humanity.  However, by taking on the sins of humanity, he should have been tortured in the worst levels of Hell... but he wasn't.  Why? 
Because a book said so.
Gone.

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jraffield1

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Re: Why Did Jesus Not Kill His Guards, and Escape the Cross?
« Reply #31 on: December 07, 2011, 06:27:46 PM »
Instead of putting the tree of doom in the middle of the garden, and knowing that humanity is going to eat its fruit (all knowing god and all that), why didn't he just... not put it there in the first place?

Billions of lives are now in Hell because God wanted to give us a test he knew we would fail.  >:(
You, sir, can't comprehend the idea of bottoms.

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Lorddave

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Re: Why Did Jesus Not Kill His Guards, and Escape the Cross?
« Reply #32 on: December 07, 2011, 06:41:39 PM »
Instead of putting the tree of doom in the middle of the garden, and knowing that humanity is going to eat its fruit (all knowing god and all that), why didn't he just... not put it there in the first place?

Billions of lives are now in Hell because God wanted to give us a test he knew we would fail.  >:(
I agree.
Which is why I think he put it there to see when we were ready to leave the nest, as it where.
Humans weren't kept as servants nor as pets.  Humans were supposed to be God's attempt to make something equal.  (His children?) 

Now, for us to become more than simple animals, we had to do things on our own.  This is akin to babies.  A baby is incapable of washing itself, feeding itself, even walking by itself.  This was Humans in the Garden of Eden: God provided everything because we couldn't provide for ourselves.
Once we were capable of making our own choices, only then were we ready to venture out into the real world and provide for ourselves: to make choices for our own survival as it where.

Now, to avoid any psychological issues of abandonment, God created "sin".  It's a way to say "You made your dad very angry by being bad now get out of my house!" without making them think that you hate them.
Had God NOT created sin, Adam and Eve would not know what they did to be kicked out of the Garden and thus may not have developed the skills needed to survive.  Skills like hunting, fishing, harvesting, farming, building shelters, etc...
Granted, Adam and Eve prayed and fasted for years to get forgiveness, but in the end they had children who learned how to survive.  And thus Human Civilization was born.
Gone.

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Crustinator

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Re: Why Did Jesus Not Kill His Guards, and Escape the Cross?
« Reply #33 on: December 08, 2011, 04:25:18 AM »
This is akin to babies.

This is why I leave broken glass bottles and used syringes around my first born.

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General Douchebag

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Re: Why Did Jesus Not Kill His Guards, and Escape the Cross?
« Reply #34 on: December 08, 2011, 09:08:39 AM »
Because the Bible isn't a superhero comic.

Only because they were crap at drawing. The thing reads more like a comic book fanfic than a philosophical text.
No but I'm guess your what? 90? Cause you just so darn mature </sarcasm>

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jraffield1

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Re: Why Did Jesus Not Kill His Guards, and Escape the Cross?
« Reply #35 on: December 08, 2011, 01:01:34 PM »
Spoilers... Jesus dies at the end  ::)
You, sir, can't comprehend the idea of bottoms.

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Wakka Wakka

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Re: Why Did Jesus Not Kill His Guards, and Escape the Cross?
« Reply #36 on: December 08, 2011, 05:42:04 PM »
Spoilers... Jesus dies at the end  ::)
Incorrect.
Normally when I'm not sure I just cop a feel.

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jraffield1

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Re: Why Did Jesus Not Kill His Guards, and Escape the Cross?
« Reply #37 on: December 08, 2011, 07:44:29 PM »
You, sir, can't comprehend the idea of bottoms.

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Wakka Wakka

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Re: Why Did Jesus Not Kill His Guards, and Escape the Cross?
« Reply #38 on: December 08, 2011, 08:54:39 PM »
Normally when I'm not sure I just cop a feel.

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jraffield1

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Re: Why Did Jesus Not Kill His Guards, and Escape the Cross?
« Reply #39 on: December 08, 2011, 09:01:57 PM »
Spoilers... Jesus dies at the end  ::)
Incorrect.

Seems pretty dead to me...
Perhaps, but he does not die at the end.

True. To be fair, he dies in the middle. Everyone else dies at the end.
You, sir, can't comprehend the idea of bottoms.

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Chris Spaghetti

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Re: Why Did Jesus Not Kill His Guards, and Escape the Cross?
« Reply #40 on: December 09, 2011, 01:41:37 AM »
Spoilers... Jesus dies at the end  ::)
Incorrect.

Seems pretty dead to me...
Perhaps, but he does not die at the end.

True. To be fair, he dies in the middle. Everyone else dies at the end.

Incorrect.

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jraffield1

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Re: Why Did Jesus Not Kill His Guards, and Escape the Cross?
« Reply #41 on: December 09, 2011, 12:07:41 PM »
Spoilers... Jesus dies at the end  ::)
Incorrect.

Seems pretty dead to me...
Perhaps, but he does not die at the end.

True. To be fair, he dies in the middle. Everyone else dies at the end.

Incorrect.

Matthew 27:50, Mark 15:37, Luke 23:46, and John 19:30 each describe the death of Jesus.
The book of Revelations describes the destruction of the world (and by default everyone on it).
You, sir, can't comprehend the idea of bottoms.

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Wakka Wakka

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Re: Why Did Jesus Not Kill His Guards, and Escape the Cross?
« Reply #42 on: December 09, 2011, 12:48:44 PM »
The Gospels are not at the middle or end of the bible.
Normally when I'm not sure I just cop a feel.

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jraffield1

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Re: Why Did Jesus Not Kill His Guards, and Escape the Cross?
« Reply #43 on: December 09, 2011, 03:02:56 PM »
I consider the middle of the bible to be the transition from the old to the new testament. Also, I'm fairly certain that Revelations is at the end.
You, sir, can't comprehend the idea of bottoms.

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hoppy

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Re: Why Did Jesus Not Kill His Guards, and Escape the Cross?
« Reply #44 on: December 10, 2011, 08:06:08 AM »
Jesus died, then came back to life(Easter Sunday), He now sits at the right hand of God.........Somewhat of a mystery, Jesus is God. Jesus said I and my Father are one.
God is real.                                         
http://www.scribd.com/doc/9665708/Flat-Earth-Bible-02-of-10-The-Flat-Earth

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jraffield1

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Re: Why Did Jesus Not Kill His Guards, and Escape the Cross?
« Reply #45 on: December 10, 2011, 01:42:54 PM »
Jesus died, then came back to life(Easter Sunday), He now sits at the right hand of God.........Somewhat of a mystery, Jesus is God. Jesus said I and my Father are one.

The Holy spirit impregnated Mary with Jesus. HS and Jesus are both God, therefore God is the father of... God? Another mystery.
You, sir, can't comprehend the idea of bottoms.

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General Douchebag

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Re: Why Did Jesus Not Kill His Guards, and Escape the Cross?
« Reply #46 on: December 10, 2011, 03:31:54 PM »
Jesus died, then came back to life(Easter Sunday), He now sits at the right hand of God.........Somewhat of a mystery, Jesus is God. Jesus said I and my Father are one.

The Holy spirit impregnated Mary with Jesus. HS and Jesus are both God, therefore God is the father of... God? Another mystery.

Perhaps Jesus' "ascent to heaven" was him activating the time machine he invented to go back to the beginning and create the universe. That solves the problem of where God came from, where Jesus went and how Jesus managed to be born to Arabs in Arabia and still turn out white (in popular culture this is assumed, we all know Jesus was black and that he was).

Now we just need to work out how he invented a time machine, and all the other stupid shit the Bible says.
No but I'm guess your what? 90? Cause you just so darn mature </sarcasm>

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jraffield1

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Re: Why Did Jesus Not Kill His Guards, and Escape the Cross?
« Reply #47 on: December 10, 2011, 03:37:14 PM »
I think it went something like this...

A:
He built the time machine...
He went back in time to give himself the blueprints for a time machine...
GOTO A
You, sir, can't comprehend the idea of bottoms.

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Lorddave

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Re: Why Did Jesus Not Kill His Guards, and Escape the Cross?
« Reply #48 on: December 10, 2011, 08:35:32 PM »
Jesus died, then came back to life(Easter Sunday), He now sits at the right hand of God.........Somewhat of a mystery, Jesus is God. Jesus said I and my Father are one.

Since Jesus has no Original Sin, then the only logical conclusion is that God converted some of his energy into matter inside of Mary's Womb via the Holy Spirit.  Thus, Jesus and God are one but separate. 

The dying bit is just that he wasn't really dead, he was faking it to get off that damn cross.  It was very painful after all.
Gone.

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jraffield1

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Re: Why Did Jesus Not Kill His Guards, and Escape the Cross?
« Reply #49 on: December 10, 2011, 10:27:58 PM »
Jesus died, then came back to life(Easter Sunday), He now sits at the right hand of God.........Somewhat of a mystery, Jesus is God. Jesus said I and my Father are one.

Since Jesus has no Original Sin, then the only logical conclusion is that God converted some of his energy into matter inside of Mary's Womb via the Holy Spirit.  Thus, Jesus and God are one but separate. 

The dying bit is just that he wasn't really dead, he was faking it to get off that damn cross.  It was very painful after all.

A more likely solution I believe is that the HS shoved dirt into her womb one night. That way he could create Jesus the same way he created sin-free Adam.

But yes, I agree with what you are saying. For a man-god like Jesus, being dead for 3 days isn't really a sacrifice, it's more of an inconvenience really.
You, sir, can't comprehend the idea of bottoms.

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Demouse

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Re: Why Did Jesus Not Kill His Guards, and Escape the Cross?
« Reply #50 on: December 16, 2011, 12:04:23 AM »
Because he never existed.


____________________________________________

Oh Skycake.... Why are you so delicious?


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krixiajanna

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Re: Why Did Jesus Not Kill His Guards, and Escape the Cross?
« Reply #51 on: December 16, 2011, 01:03:17 AM »
If Jesus paid for my sin then does that mean I can sin as much as I like? Yiepepepeeeeeeeeee!


Then you値l pay all your debt on the judgment day.@_@

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jraffield1

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Re: Why Did Jesus Not Kill His Guards, and Escape the Cross?
« Reply #52 on: December 16, 2011, 01:23:48 AM »
If Jesus paid for my sin then does that mean I can sin as much as I like? Yiepepepeeeeeeeeee!


Then you値l pay all your debt on the judgment day.@_@

So Jesus didn't pay for his sins?
You, sir, can't comprehend the idea of bottoms.

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hoppy

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Re: Why Did Jesus Not Kill His Guards, and Escape the Cross?
« Reply #53 on: December 16, 2011, 07:23:27 AM »
If Jesus paid for my sin then does that mean I can sin as much as I like? Yiepepepeeeeeeeeee!


Then you値l pay all your debt on the judgment day.@_@
I will be cleared of all wrong doing on judgement day. Thanks to Jesus Christ.
God is real.                                         
http://www.scribd.com/doc/9665708/Flat-Earth-Bible-02-of-10-The-Flat-Earth

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Lorddave

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Re: Why Did Jesus Not Kill His Guards, and Escape the Cross?
« Reply #54 on: December 16, 2011, 07:49:13 AM »
If Jesus paid for my sin then does that mean I can sin as much as I like? Yiepepepeeeeeeeeee!


Then you値l pay all your debt on the judgment day.@_@
I will be cleared of all wrong doing on judgement day. Thanks to Jesus Christ.
What about the Christian Hitler?
Gone.

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hoppy

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Re: Why Did Jesus Not Kill His Guards, and Escape the Cross?
« Reply #55 on: December 16, 2011, 04:38:02 PM »
If Jesus paid for my sin then does that mean I can sin as much as I like? Yiepepepeeeeeeeeee!


Then you値l pay all your debt on the judgment day.@_@
I will be cleared of all wrong doing on judgement day. Thanks to Jesus Christ.
What about the Christian Hitler?
I am not qualified to judge others, although I would think he did not repent of his  wrong doing.
God is real.                                         
http://www.scribd.com/doc/9665708/Flat-Earth-Bible-02-of-10-The-Flat-Earth

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Ryan Onessence

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Re: Why Did Jesus Not Kill His Guards, and Escape the Cross?
« Reply #56 on: December 31, 2011, 06:03:43 AM »
http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread790396/pg2#pid13119278 I think This link is more relevant to the topic of this thread.
« Last Edit: December 31, 2011, 06:05:45 AM by Ryan Onessence »
http://soundcloud.com/orin-zolis/sets/world-music-ethnic-beats/

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