Jokes

That is disgusting. Whoever worked on that bridge should jump off of it. Chest first.

It was opened to traffic in 1932. I don't think many people who worked on it are still capable of such an action.

Aw, I like the bridge. Although probably what I actually like is the sky and river. They are both very pretty.

It's a harbour, not a fucking river. They call it the Sydney Harbour Bridge for a reason, you know.

Then there families should be tortured.

It's a harbour, not a fucking river. They call it the Sydney Harbour Bridge for a reason, you know.

To be honest, I really don't give a fuck. Maybe if it were in Canada, even Mexico. But Australia, I really just can't be bothered to learn the geography of such an insignificant country.

Quote from: Johannes Kepler on September 08, 2009, 03:43:15 PM

In austrailia they don't build anything so engineers don't learn math.

Lol, whoever designed those towers also designed taco bell and every other cheap mexican ripoff restaurant.

Them and there "harbours." Boston harbor is where it's at.

Quote from: Robosteve on September 08, 2009, 10:08:15 PM

It's a harbour, not a fucking river. They call it the Sydney Harbour Bridge for a reason, you know.

To be honest, I really don't give a fuck. Maybe if it were in Canada, even Mexico. But Australia, I really just can't be bothered to learn the geography of such an insignificant country.

All you need to know about Australia is that they roll east coast style, there is a big rock, a big fence, a big reef, and lots of crazy animals.  Also, things have funny names.

I had a girlfriend go to Australia once and cheat on me, but at least I can take comfort in the fact that she didn't cheat on me with Steve.

Did you get to sex her before this?

Yes, but looking back, it's not one I'm particularly proud of.

Was she hot?

All you need to know about Australia is that they roll east coast style, there is a big rock, a big fence, a big reef, and lots of crazy animals.  Also, things have funny names.

None of those exist here in the city except for the bit about funny names - and, to a far lesser extent, crazy animals. I remember sniggering heartily at the name of one of the major centres of business and recreation up this end of Sydney when I first arrived here. It's called Dee Why. Now I'm so used to it I don't even really notice that it's weird.

Have you heard the one about the gay Romans at the crucifixion?


They wanted to nail Jesus.

All you need to know about Australia is that they roll east coast style, there is a big rock, a big fence, a big reef, and lots of crazy animals.  Also, things have funny names.

I had a girlfriend go to Australia once and cheat on me, but at least I can take comfort in the fact that she didn't cheat on me with Steve.

I don't think you can really blame her. I imagine the stress of having a dingo eat your baby would be quite significant; anyone who goes through such a traumatic experience can't really be blamed. Though it is awful that she cheated.

Australia? More lack Ausuckia.

Have you heard the one about the gay Romans at the crucifixion?


They wanted to nail Jesus.

Lol!

My girlfriend has left me a note:

"I'm leaving you because you're so stupid and bigoted."

Well I'm not stupid, I'm just dyslexic. And I can't help it if I have big toes.

My girlfriend has left me a note:

"I'm leaving you because you're so stupid and bigoted."

Well I'm not stupid, I'm just dyslexic. And I can't help it if I have big toes.

Ahaha!

I have discovered the beauty of sickipedia

I've been playing online poker for about a year now. Last night my girlfriend told me it's either poker or her.

I think she's bluffing.

I've been playing online poker for about a year now. Last night my girlfriend told me it's either poker or her.

I think she's bluffing.

Lol, idk my bff jill?

Quote from: Jack1704 on September 09, 2009, 01:31:55 PM

I've been playing online poker for about a year now. Last night my girlfriend told me it's either poker or her.

I think she's bluffing.

Lol, idk my bff jill?

Que?

Quote from: W on September 09, 2009, 01:40:33 PM

Quote from: Jack1704 on September 09, 2009, 01:31:55 PM

I've been playing online poker for about a year now. Last night my girlfriend told me it's either poker or her.

I think she's bluffing.

Lol, idk my bff jill?

Que?

Donde esta la biblioteca?

Quote from: Jack1704 on September 09, 2009, 01:48:41 PM

Quote from: W on September 09, 2009, 01:40:33 PM

Quote from: Jack1704 on September 09, 2009, 01:31:55 PM

I've been playing online poker for about a year now. Last night my girlfriend told me it's either poker or her.

I think she's bluffing.

Lol, idk my bff jill?

Que?

Donde esta la biblioteca?

Yeah, exactly!

Quote from: Johannes Kepler on September 08, 2009, 03:43:15 PM

In austrailia they don't build anything so engineers don't learn math.

Thats nothing:

Look at the greatest achievement in US civil engineering history:

Was she hot?

Not especially.

This Chinese chap goes into a bank to change some currency. After receiving his money he asks, "How come I came in here with same amount of money as yesterday but today I get less Yuans in return?"
The banker says, "Fluctuations."
The Chinese guy replies, "Fluck you Blitish too."

This Chinese chap goes into a bank to change some currency. After receiving his money he asks, "How come I came in here with same amount of money as yesterday but today I get less Yuans in return?"
The banker says, "Fluctuations."
The Chinese guy replies, "Fluck you Blitish too."

lmao

Four friends have been doing really well in their calculus class: they have been getting top grades for their homework and on the midterm. So, when it's time for the final, they decide not to study on the weekend before, but to drive to another friend's birthday party in another city - even though the exam is scheduled for Monday morning. As it happens, they drink too much at the party, and on Monday morning, they are all hung over and oversleep. When they finally arrive on campus, the exam is already over.

They go to the professor's office and offer him an explanation: "We went to our friend's birthday party, and when we were driving back home very early on Monday morning, we suddenly had a flat tire. We had no spare one, and since we were driving on backroads, it took hours until we got help."

The professor nods sympathetically and says: "I see that it was not your fault. I will allow you to make up for the missed exam tomorrow morning."

When they arrive early on Tuesday morning, the students are put by the professor in a large lecture hall and are seated so far apart from each other that, even if they tried, they had no chance to cheat. The exam booklets are already in place, and confidently, the students start writing.

The first question - five points out of one hundred - is a simple exercise in integration, and all four finish it within ten minutes.

When the first of them has completed the problem, he turns over the page of the exam booklet and reads on the next one:

    Problem 2 (95 points out of 100): Which tire went flat?

Yuck teacher humor! 

Knock knock

Whos there?

The Austrian Police...................No its just daddy again!!

Knock knock

Whos there?

The Austrian Police...................No its just daddy again!!

I don't get it.

    Problem 2 (95 points out of 100): Which tire went flat?

Oh, ahahahahahaha! What a brilliant joke. He got them good. He got them so good.

I would have said the back right one, and hoped for the best, since that's the tire that most commonly goes flat.

Quote from: Jack1704 on September 14, 2009, 11:33:12 AM

Knock knock

Whos there?

The Austrian Police...................No its just daddy again!!

I don't get it.

Think Fritzl

The physicist and the engineer are in a hot-air balloon. Soon, they find themselves lost in a canyon somewhere. They yell out for help: "Helllloooooo! Where are we?"
15 minutes later, they hear an echoing voice: "Helllloooooo! You're in a hot-air balloon!!"
The physicist says, "That must have been a mathematician."
The engineer asks, "Why do you say that?"
The physicist replied: "The answer was absolutely correct, and it was utterly useless."

  SO FUNNY!