Youtube rules and suggestions..
Yeah, you pretty much hit the nail on the head. However, We don't really want to sell ourselves to Youtube. Making videos basically started because my friends brother had equipment and we had ideas. The intention was never to "win Youtube". Rather, it was to make something that is both interesting/entertaining and of high quality for a lot of people to see. That said, success on Youtube is a success everywhere on the internet. So, if I want people to see it, being successful on Youtube will help... Eh I don't know. Maybe I'm tricking myself, but I think there is a pretty large group of people that appreciates quality on Youtube, and I guess that's what we're trying to exploit.
My feelings about the video..
Yeah, I had some qualms about the beginning as well. I was worried that too much time was spent before they got outdoors. The action was the focal point. The dialogue in the beginning could've been shorter, and as you said, more natural. And I guess there does need to be a hook. The idea for this one was at first shooting somebody with a bow, and then a gun, and a couple other concepts. We had to build a plot around that to give it some context. As a result, I guess the indoor dialogue could be seen as boring.
Thank you for your comments Thirnk.