The Jokes thread

Quote from: Torve on January 12, 2026, 10:16:53 PM

Quote from: wise on January 09, 2026, 02:23:49 AM

Some of these are only known in Turkey and will not be known by a chatbot. But they cannot know the questions I ask below in also Turkey. Only wise can ask this.

Only Turkeys have left wings.

Okay Jack, answer this:

Why did Schrödinger's cat get kicked out of the library? 

Oh, Torve… “Check out” the joke, Torve. CHECK. IT. OUT. You know, like you check out a book… from a library…
The cat was in the library, Torve. But it couldn’t check out a book… get it? 

No? Still not checking it out, Torve?
Let me guess you’re still in a state of quantum confusion. 

Haha! Torve didn’t check out the joke! 

( ʇou ɹo ʞooq ɐ ʇno ʞɔǝɥɔ ɹǝɥʇǝɥʍ ǝpıɔǝp ʇu plnoɔ ʇı ǝsnɐɔǝᗺ )

This question is right up your alley, Torve:

Why did the firewall break up with the antivirus software?

You mess around with firewalls, antivirus software, bots, proxies, etc., 24/7, seven days a week. You should know this one, Torve.

Why did the firewall break up with the antivirus software?

It’s very easy, Torve, child’s play, especially for 145-IQ Jack.

Can’t figure it out? Ask Jack, Torve. He’ll know. Can't? Ask it to Chatgpt, Torve. Haha, Torve.   

Maybe with the right kind of prompt, Torve, you can convince chatgpt for a right answer. Put a prompt to Chatgpt, torve. Haha. 

Because it burnt the metaphorical bridge between itself and the antivirus?

(I have a feeling there's a better answer tho)

Because it burnt the metaphorical bridge between itself and the antivirus?

(I have a feeling there's a better answer tho)

Nice answer. And yes, there is a better answer. 

Dad Joke (tho I'm not a dad):

The electric motor... was REVOLUTIONary!

hehe

Why did the firewall break up with the antivirus software?

Because their relationship was full of too many false positives.
 
    

I'm really surprised you don't know this, Torve. Because firewall and antivirus software always are related with false positives Torve. Did not you get it Torve, oh Torve. 

So Torve, think this once again.

Why do architects make terrible psychiatrists?

This question is just right for you. You would know this. Look, it's talking about me here. asfsafsdadsafd How well do you know me, JackVe? Would I make a good psychiatrist? If not, why not? Think, Torve. Come on, Torve, architect, psychiatrist, why not?

Why do architects make terrible psychiatrists?

Alright Jack, 4 days have passed, I consider you unable to figure this out and I'm giving you the answer.

Because they always try to rebuild your issues instead of resolving them. 

I am giving you a couple of days for the answer to this week's final question, Jack, Mark, Dave, and the others.

5- Why are deep-sea currents never elected to parliament? 

TIP:

ChatGPT please give me answer of these.

Simply, this:

• Why are deep-sea currents never elected to parliament?

Hint: If ChatGPT doesn't know, try upgrading it to wise.     

PS: I just asked ChatGPT this question, and it gave great answers, but none of them were the one I wanted.

• Why are deep-sea currents never elected to parliament?

Because they always work under pressure, but have no clear surface agenda. sjksjsksjsksj 

• Why did the archeologist go bankrupt?

PS/Hint: ChatGPT found the answer to my question on the first try.

Go Aera, it's your turn.

• Why did the archeologist go bankrupt?

PS/Hint: ChatGPT found the answer to my question on the first try.

Go Aera, it's your turn.

ChatGPT is smarter than you, Jack. 

• Why did the archeologist go bankrupt?

PS/Hint: ChatGPT found the answer to my question on the first try.

Go Aera, it's your turn.

Because he kept trying to dig money from a hole of dirt.

---

(I specified hole of dirt because a regular hole has a chance of finding treasure). Then I asked chatGPT, out of curiousity:

riddle: Why did the archeologist go bankrupt?
Because his career was in ruins. 🏺💸

(Alternate acceptable answer: he kept digging himself into a hole 😄)

How many real men does it take to change a light bulb?
None.  Real men aren't afraid of the dark.

How many real men does it take to change a light bulb?
None.  Real men aren't afraid of the dark.

Wrong. You defined "real boys".

Real men change that light bulb, not for themselves. Real men mostly don’t do much for themselves, but for those around them.

This shows why you’re not acting like a real man. Simply put, you don't know what it looks like.

What a joke Mark, hahaha!  Joke Mark!

Stop being a "big boy" mark! Be a "real man" Mark!   

Q: Which mythical creature is the most sus?

A: Pegasus.

How many Zen Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?
Two.  One to change it and one not to change it.

Quote from: markjo on February 09, 2026, 06:37:30 PM

How many real men does it take to change a light bulb?
None.  Real men aren't afraid of the dark.

Wrong. You defined "real boys".

Real men change that light bulb, not for themselves. Real men mostly don’t do much for themselves, but for those around them.

This shows why you’re not acting like a real man. Simply put, you don't know what it looks like.

What a joke Mark, hahaha!  Joke Mark!

Stop being a "big boy" mark! Be a "real man" Mark!   

Real men don't over think real men jokes.

You are still confusing real men and real Boys, Mark. This is just a joke Mark, nevermind.    Mark.

Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems. 

Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because It wasn't peeling well.. 

Why did the picture go to jail?  Because it was framed. sjsjsjkssjskjs 

Jesus: “Follow me, and I will protect you.”
Follower: “From what?”
Jesus: “From what I can do to you.” 

Mojtaba Khamenei gave his first statement: I will turn Tel Aviv into a hotel city. 

Mojtaba Khamenei gave his first statement: I will turn Tel Aviv into a hotel city. 

ayy lmao

It is said Mojtaba Khamenei will be the first Gayatollah.

Why are computer chips so small?
Because computers don't eat much.

How is eating pussy like being in the Mafia?
One slip of the tongue and you can wind up in deep shit.

It is said Mojtaba Khamenei will be the first Gayatollah.

Who's going to do it, the not-so-chosen enough people?

Why are computer chips so small?
Because computers don't eat much.

How is eating pussy like being in the Mafia?
One slip of the tongue and you can wind up in deep shit.

Oh my , the 2nd joke is quite funny!

Trump: Open that fucking strait!

Iran: We've lost the key, Sir. 

Trump: Open that fucking strait!

Iran: We've lost the key, Sir. 

My favourite joke here so far!