The_Earth_Does_Not_Exist

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The_Earth_Does_Not_Exist
« on: February 06, 2007, 05:00:11 AM »
Dear Sara

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0.  I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of Space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now Monitors all other system activities, such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Going To The Pub 7.5, and Softball 3.6.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my other favourite applications. I'm thinking about going back to
Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

Please help!

Thanks, Earth-does-not-exist

_____________________

REPLY

Dear Earth-does-not-exist

This is a very common problem that men often complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an operating system, designed to run everything.

It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0 It is impossible to uninstall, or purge, the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings: Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application Yes Dear 2.7 to alleviate your program problems.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE! Because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance!  Wife 1.0 does come with several support programs,
Such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5, and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0

Do not under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,

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Masterchef

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The_Earth_Does_Not_Exist
« Reply #1 on: February 06, 2007, 05:18:20 AM »
:lol:

I wish I could sig this entire post. :D

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Nomad

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The_Earth_Does_Not_Exist
« Reply #2 on: February 06, 2007, 10:30:08 AM »
This wins the "Best Thread Award" for all time.
Nomad is a superhero.

8/30 NEVAR FORGET

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cmdshft

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The_Earth_Does_Not_Exist
« Reply #3 on: February 06, 2007, 11:50:00 AM »
My Girlfriend 7.0 seems to have undergone child-processing before upgrading.

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SPrinkZ

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The_Earth_Does_Not_Exist
« Reply #4 on: February 06, 2007, 12:22:10 PM »
ah.

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Rick_James

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The_Earth_Does_Not_Exist
« Reply #5 on: February 06, 2007, 01:56:43 PM »
Also a classic internet email Fwd

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Nomad

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The_Earth_Does_Not_Exist
« Reply #6 on: February 06, 2007, 02:07:30 PM »
Who cares, guys?   :o
Nomad is a superhero.

8/30 NEVAR FORGET

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Rick_James

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The_Earth_Does_Not_Exist
« Reply #7 on: February 06, 2007, 02:12:09 PM »
Quote from: "thedigitalnomad"
Who cares, guys?   :o


It's ok, we don't think any less of you for not having seen it before... we were just saying  :wink:

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BOGWarrior89

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The_Earth_Does_Not_Exist
« Reply #8 on: February 06, 2007, 02:18:47 PM »
Quote from: "thedigitalnomad"
Who cares, guys?   :o


YOUR MOTHER

O SNAP I BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING

The_Earth_Does_Not_Exist
« Reply #9 on: February 06, 2007, 10:40:56 PM »
lol.
all i can say is lol
best thread ever.
quote="DiegoDraw"]"And Moses said unto his brethren: 'The Earth is flat!...biznatches,'" [/quote]
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