what website did you use to buy your wife? Did you choose Chinese over Russian because she can't open her eyes to see you? What animal relates to your wife?Know your place
I'm sorry. Am I to understand that when you have a boner you like to imagine punching the shit out of Tom Bishop? That's disgusting.
That looks like a pretty big lizard. I think you've got a pet by default here. Maybe make it a little eye patch and call him "one eyed izzy".
ODIN! Hung himself for 9 days from Yggdrasil, the world tree to have infinite wisdom, a couple of days in a bin is nothing, just a scratch.
You should have buried it in your yard.