If I remember correctly, it was on its side, and this was an older flashlight model that was big, heavy, and with angular sides. And no, it didn't. It rolled off the table If I hadn't caught it. Mass, angular momentum, static friction. No gravitation toward heaviest side, no slope.
If you placed it down stationary, there is no angular momentum.
Static friction works to stop it moving.
So you have no explanation for why it was moving.
Does it now. I tipped a Buddhist bell on its side,and got to see momentum equilibrium. The bell rolled forward, it rolled back, then it stopped.
That is rolling, not falling.
Try picking the bell up, holding it in various orientations, and releasing it.
Momentum is a force.
It doesn't matter how often you repeat this nonsense, it wont magically make it true.
Momentum is not a force. It doesn't even have compatible units.
Gravity is not a force.
Only with the relativistic explanation.
But it certainly acts like a force for most things.
There is nothing that "gravity" can down that cannot be explained by downward momentum
Except you can't explain the most important part with momentum, why a stationary object begins to move.
That requires gravity (or some force to replace it) to cause the object to start to move.
In fact, momentum explains nothing that gravity explains, and you cannot explain anything that gravity does.
a whole lot of sideways, and even uphill motion that cannot be explained by gravity.
Gravity is not meant to explain everything. It is not the sole force that acts.
Why pretend it is?
The important part is that this sideways and uphill motion is entirely consistent with gravity.
It's totally two words.
So basic counting isn't your strong point then?
We explained that. Momentum of water
No, you didn't.
You start with the water moving.
But this is not always the case.
You can place water into a stationary wheel, holding it stationary so there is no momentum of the water, and release the wheel and it turns.
You also have no explanation for why the water moves in the first place.
regains momentum even on a flat river
You mean on a fairly flat section of a river.
There is no such thing as a flat river as you have no reason for the water to move.
Momentum is a reactive force.
Momentum is not a force.
no "gravity" would ever exert on the table.
You rejecting reality wont help you.
The stapler weighs less than the table.
Entirely irrelavent.
You can have a stapler that is heavier or lighter than the table.
You can have a stapler that is more or less dense than the table.
That doesn't make it move.
What matters is how the weight compares to the strength of the table.
if I backhand the stapler off the table it falls because of its own mass, and heads downward because it is sinking, then momentum takes over.
It falls because gravity acts on it and it no longer has the normal reaction force from the table to stop that.
You cannot explain why it should go down, or why at a particular rate.