The Gates of the North

A number of Christian prophecies contain reference to the Gates of Alexandre located in Asia where Alexandre the Great encountered and fought with a race of monsters.  Having grea difficulty with them, he prayed to God and two large mountains from afar began moving towards each other until the race of demonic beasts was enclosed between them.  Alexandre then had his troops construct an exceedingly large rampart wall (including a roof) out of solid brass and iron which pinned the monstrous race within a subterranen prison inside these mountains.  The Gates of Alexandre are evidently the 'Northern Gates,' and their location is most commonly ascribed to the Caucausus mountain range.  At least two prophecies in particular (Saint Methodıus of Patara and Saint Andrew the Fool For Christ) both state that one of the plagues of the Apocalypse is the release of this monstrous race from its prison which will then spread across the Earth and eat the hearts out of men.  
 
  An excerpt of the prophecy of Saint Methodıus of Patara:

  "Then the "Gates of the North" will be opened and the strength of those nations which Alexander shut up there will go forth. The whole earth will be terrified at the sight of them; men will be afraid and flee in terror to hide themselves in mountains and caves and graves. They will die of fright and very many will be wasted with fear. There will be no one to bury the bodies. The tribes which will go forth from the North will eat the flesh of men and will drink the blood of beasts like water. They will eat unclean serpents, scorpions, and every kind of filthy and abominable beast and reptile which crawls upon the earth. They will consume the dead bodies of beasts of burden and even women's abortions. They will slay the young and take them from their mothers and eat them. They will corrupt the earth and contaminate it. No one will be able to stand against them."
  "After a week of years, when they have already captured the city of Jappa, the Lord will send one of the princes of his host and strike them down in a moment. After this the King of the Romans will go down and live in Jerusalem for seven and a half-seven times. When the ten and a half years are completed the Son of Perdition will appear."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gates_of_Alexander

Mount Elbrus of Russia, known to the ancients as Mount Strobilus, is the strongest likelihood for the location of the Gates of the North visited by Alexandre the Great as mentioned in the prophecy of Saint Methodius for the following reasons:

1) It is not only the tallest mountain in the Caucausus Mountain Range, but the tallest mountain in all Europe.  

2) The most striking feature of Mount Elbrus is that it has two summit peaks - eastern and western which are only 1.5 kilometres apart.  This kind of summit fits the description of a large mountain formed by two mountains suddenly moving together from a great distance.  The fact that the peks are located to the East and West (as opposed to the North and South) fits the description and appelation of "Gates of the North."

  If Mount Elbrus is indeed the location, then the unavoidable conclusion is that a demonic and monstrous race dwells locked within Mount Elbrus and possibly other subterranean parts of the Caucausus.

An English translation of most of the significant prophecies of Saint Methodius, the fourth century Bishop of Patara:
http://www.rexresearch.com/prophist/phf3eu~1.htm#PHF31

Synopsis of the life of Saint Methodius:
http://ocafs.oca.org/FeastSaintsLife.asp?FSID=101759

The 'Ethiopian Book of Alexandre' which was translated into English by E.A. Wallis Budge contains an account of Alexandre's construction of the huge rampart in the north.

Having grea difficulty with them, he prayed to God

or, to the gods.

2) The most striking feature of Mount Elbrus is that it has two summit peaks - eastern and western which are only 1.5 kilometres apart. This kind of summit fits the description of a large mountain formed by two mountains suddenly moving together from a great distance. The fact that the peks are located to the East and West (as opposed to the North and South) fits the description and appelation of "Gates of the North."

How exactly do two mountains "move together" to form a single mountain?

If Mount Elbrus is indeed the location, then the unavoidable conclusion is that a demonic and monstrous race dwells locked within Mount Elbrus and possibly other subterranean parts of the Caucausus.

That conclusion is rather exciting.  However, I would like to point out that I can avoid it by concluding instead that it's just a story.

Id rather fight monsters. Wouldnt you?

Of course, duh.  I'm just pointing out that the conclusion isn't unavoidable.

theonlydann,

Why apologize for anything?  Erasmus's conclusions are predictable and unoriginal.  A gnat has more faith than he does.  Does Erasmus's mundane mind decide the truth?  That is his business.  Not all men have faith.

Anyway, I believe that these things are the kind of thing you hide from in caves and inaccessible places while praying with bitter tears rather than fight which would be a quick way to die.  Did you read the description of these monsters by Saint Methodius?  I believe these are also referred to in the Apocalypse of Saint John.

  "Then the "Gates of the North" will be opened and the strength of those nations which Alexander shut up there will go forth. The whole earth will be terrified at the sight of them; men will be afraid and flee in terror to hide themselves in mountains and caves and graves. They will die of fright and very many will be wasted with fear. There will be no one to bury the bodies. The tribes which will go forth from the North will eat the flesh of men and will drink the blood of beasts like water. They will eat unclean serpents, scorpions, and every kind of filthy and abominable beast and reptile which crawls upon the earth. They will consume the dead bodies of beasts of burden and even women's abortions. They will slay the young and take them from their mothers and eat them. They will corrupt the earth and contaminate it. No one will be able to stand against them."
  "After a week of years, when they have already captured the city of Jappa, the Lord will send one of the princes of his host and strike them down in a moment. After this the King of the Romans will go down and live in Jerusalem for seven and a half-seven times. When the ten and a half years are completed the Son of Perdition will appear."
http://www.rexresearch.com/prophist/phf3eu~1.htm#PHF31

However, from the context of prophecies, I do not believe that this terrible prophecy of Saint Methodius will be fulfilled until after a third World War which exterminates the power of the Ishmaelites (the muslim religion).  Yet, it seems from the context of Orthodox Christian prophecies (and in particular that of the Serbian Mitar Tarabich), it appears that we are due up for a famine.

Saint Andrew the Fool for Christ ( of Constantinople circa AD 1000) has a prophecy which directly relates to the race of monsters imprisoned by Alexandre the Great which I will post as soon as I acquire an English translation of it as well as anything from the ancient sources from Alexandre's campaigns relating to this incident.

Images of Mount Elbrus
link edited for clarity

Yo, theonlydann,

You should try the sweet and sour sword; it comes with killer eggrolls and a side of fried rice.
Don't be fightin' monsters on an empty stomach.

A gnat has more faith than he does.  Does Erasmus's mundane mind decide the truth?  That is his business.  Not all men have faith.

Of all the things to have faith in, Areopagite, why did you pick your religion?

Anyway, I believe that these things are the kind of thing you hide from in caves and inaccessible places while praying with bitter tears rather than fight which would be a quick way to die.  Did you read the description of these monsters by Saint Methodius?  I believe these are also referred to in the Apocalypse of Saint John.

I'll take up my sword with theonlydann, if you don't mind.  Speaking of which...

I hope i get a sweet sword.

Make sure you swing it around to see if it's magical.

Make sure you swing it around to see if it's magical.

Make sure all your heart containers are filled before long ranging that thing.
Please tell me you played Link's Awakening...

 i would most likely... be the most powerful, and delicious, man alive.

a clever ploy to attract the monsters within the range of your sword! make yourself look tastier!

Alas, chances are that the monsters will all die from the flu, because they have not been exposed to any such illness in thousands of years, and thus have no immunity.

In conclusion, send them a box of tissues and pity them, and just eat your tasty blade of chicken tender

Pass the ketchup, too

You guys can keep your swords.

I'll go break into Grandpa's arsenal and unleash the fury of the four horsemen in the form of a fucking howitzer.

Lets see ground-based beasties deal with a 155mm cannon up their ass.

A number of Christian prophecies contain reference to the Gates of Alexandre located in Asia where Alexandre the Great encountered and fought with a race of monsters.  Having grea difficulty with them, he prayed to God and two large mountains from afar began moving towards each other until the race of demonic beasts was enclosed between them.  Alexandre then had his troops construct an exceedingly large rampart wall (including a roof) out of solid brass and iron which pinned the monstrous race within a subterranen prison inside these mountains.  The Gates of Alexandre are evidently the 'Northern Gates,' and their location is most commonly ascribed to the Caucausus mountain range.  At least two prophecies in particular (Saint Methodıus of Patara and Saint Andrew the Fool For Christ) both state that one of the plagues of the Apocalypse is the release of this monstrous race from its prison which will then spread across the Earth and eat the hearts out of men.  
 
  An excerpt of the prophecy of Saint Methodıus of Patara:

  "Then the "Gates of the North" will be opened and the strength of those nations which Alexander shut up there will go forth. The whole earth will be terrified at the sight of them; men will be afraid and flee in terror to hide themselves in mountains and caves and graves. They will die of fright and very many will be wasted with fear. There will be no one to bury the bodies. The tribes which will go forth from the North will eat the flesh of men and will drink the blood of beasts like water. They will eat unclean serpents, scorpions, and every kind of filthy and abominable beast and reptile which crawls upon the earth. They will consume the dead bodies of beasts of burden and even women's abortions. They will slay the young and take them from their mothers and eat them. They will corrupt the earth and contaminate it. No one will be able to stand against them."
  "After a week of years, when they have already captured the city of Jappa, the Lord will send one of the princes of his host and strike them down in a moment. After this the King of the Romans will go down and live in Jerusalem for seven and a half-seven times. When the ten and a half years are completed the Son of Perdition will appear."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gates_of_Alexander

So you believe that story?

For the sake of all that is truly holy in the world. Why the fuck would you want to devote your faith to the idea that you may very well one day become monster food?

Thats like worms warshiping a hook for it will take them beneath the seas to be consumed by the fish!

So you believe that story?

For the sake of all that is truly holy in the world. Why the fuck would you want to devote your faith to the idea that you may very well one day become monster food?

Thats like worms warshiping a hook for it will take them beneath the seas to be consumed by the fish!

or even like... humans worshipping a god that will send them to a place they will be eternally tortured after they die, if they do even the slightest wrong!

What a foolish idea, eh?

An English translation of most of the significant prophecies of Saint Methodius:
http://www.rexresearch.com/prophist/phf3eu~1.htm#PHF31

And here is another relevant excerpt from Saint Methodius:

"'Letter of Alexander to Olympias'

. . . And I found there also many peoples that ate the flesh of human beings and drank the blood of animals (and beasts) like water; for their dead they buried not, but ate. And when I beheld such utterly wicked nations and feared that through such a diet they might pollute the earth ... I besought the Power above and proceeded with force against them, and most of them I put to the sword, and their land I reduced to subjection . . . Two-and-twenty were the kings over them, and I pressed pursuit of them with force until they fortified themselves in two great mountains called the Breasts of the North, which have no other exit or entrance than between those two great mountains, towering in height as they do above the clouds of heaven, and extending like two walls on the right and on the left as far as the Great Sea beneath the Ansos <ie the Arctos, or the Bear Star - as far as the Arctic Ocean?> and the land of darkness. And I thought of all manner of contrivances to prevent them from issuing forth from the great mountains into which they had been driven. Now the entrance between the great mountains measures six-and-forty royal cubits. Again therefore I importuned Providence above and my prayer was heard. For He commanded the two mountains and they rocked and walked about in rivalry with each other a distance of twelve cubits.

And there I constructed gates of brass . . . and the same gates I overspread with asokiton that neither fire nor steel nor any device whatsoever might be able to unbronze the gates; for fire when brought near it goes out, and steel crumbles. And outside of these most terrible gates I set up another structure of stones each having the width of eleven cubits, the height of twenty cubits, and the length of sixty cubits . . . that nothing might avail to master such gates, which I called the Caspian Gates. Two-and-twenty kings I shut in there. And the names of the nations are Magog, Kynekephaloi, Nounoi . . . <in a variant version, Og and Magog with Xaneth himself three-headed, etc . . ."

http://www.iras.ucalgary.ca/~volk/sylvia/GogAndMagog.htm

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Alexander's Gates of the North / The Breasts of the North / Twin Peaks / Mount Elbruz of Russia

http://www.peakware.com/photos/elbrus2.jpg

O.K. this is how it goes. You get an orangutan. I'm not talking a little monkey or some some dancing chimp bullshit, I mean a fucking orangutan. Don't ask me how you're gonna get a fucking orangutan, that's not my problem. So the orangutan's name is Clyde. This is non-negotiable, all orangutans are named Clyde. I don't know why, it's just how the world works. So you and Clyde become man (and ape) about town. You're seen everywhere together, you make the scene. You and friends go out in big groups. You talk loud, you laugh louder. Every time you say something witty you high-five the orangutan. The town begins to buzz. It gets back to her. "Did you know the guy with the orangutan?", "You used to date the guy with the orangutan?", "Why would you break up with a guy with an orangutan?" Next thing you know she's calling.

"I'm hoping we can still be friends. Wanna hang out sometime." "Geez I dunno, me and Clyde were going to go to a monster truck race tonight. (orangutans love monster trucks) In fact the whole social calender seems kinda full. I tell you what, I'll make a little note (what was your name again?) and maybe I can squeeze you in." "Oh, well you know my number so don't be a stra-" "Hey look at the time! I gotta skate, Clyde's making Mojitos'."

At this point the upper hand is yours. You can let her twist in the wind, you can draw her back into you life at the pace you decide. Whatever, it's your life. But if you're a smart man? You slowly phase her back in. You're IM'ng. You're talking on Live. You get invited to family functions. You bring Clyde, he becomes like one of the family. You're one big Brady Bunch.

Then the orangutan fucks her mother.

O.K. this is how it goes. You get an orangutan. I'm not talking a little monkey or some some dancing chimp bullshit, I mean a fucking orangutan. Don't ask me how you're gonna get a fucking orangutan, that's not my problem. So the orangutan's name is Clyde. This is non-negotiable, all orangutans are named Clyde. I don't know why, it's just how the world works. So you and Clyde become man (and ape) about town. You're seen everywhere together, you make the scene. You and friends go out in big groups. You talk loud, you laugh louder. Every time you say something witty you high-five the orangutan. The town begins to buzz. It gets back to her. "Did you know the guy with the orangutan?", "You used to date the guy with the orangutan?", "Why would you break up with a guy with an orangutan?" Next thing you know she's calling.

"I'm hoping we can still be friends. Wanna hang out sometime." "Geez I dunno, me and Clyde were going to go to a monster truck race tonight. (orangutans love monster trucks) In fact the whole social calender seems kinda full. I tell you what, I'll make a little note (what was your name again?) and maybe I can squeeze you in." "Oh, well you know my number so don't be a stra-" "Hey look at the time! I gotta skate, Clyde's making Mojitos'."

At this point the upper hand is yours. You can let her twist in the wind, you can draw her back into you life at the pace you decide. Whatever, it's your life. But if you're a smart man? You slowly phase her back in. You're IM'ng. You're talking on Live. You get invited to family functions. You bring Clyde, he becomes like one of the family. You're one big Brady Bunch.

Then the orangutan fucks her mother.

Epic. Best post so far.