Poetry

The best limerick ever is this one.

There was a young plumber from Leigh,
Who was plumbing a maid by the Sea,
Said the Maid; "Cease your plumbing,
I think someone's coming,"
Said the plumber, still plumbing; "It's me."

Helicopter
Helicopter
Over my head
Somebody shoots it
It falls
I'm dead.

I made that up one day, around a group of friends.  Yes, it was totally random, and they totally laughed.

Really you love yourself far too much, I do punt,
In fact I think you are just acting like a cunt.

It seems in this place that you're dumb,
I tried to explain, so succumb.
You can't see the meter
so suck on my peter,
because you're an ass, in a slum.

You're probably deaf and afraid to attempt;
I guess that you'd rather be smoking some hemp.

That's not an anapestic tetrameter.  I win.

All I can think is

HOLY SHIT WHY HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON FOR 8 PAGES?! EVEN THOUGH THERE ISN'T A GOD WHY AREN'T HYPERINTELLIGENT ALIENS DOING SOMETHING TO STOP THIS? THE BEST POSSIBLE OUTCOME IS A TINY METEOR SMASHING A VERY TINY PART OF THE FES SERVER SO THAT THIS THREAD IS TOTALLY CORRUPTED INTO NOTHINGNESS AND THEN WE WILL DRINK SO MUCH THAT THE MEMORIES GO AWAY...

The best limerick ever is this one.

There was a young plumber from Leigh,
Who was plumbing a maid by the Sea,
Said the Maid; "Cease your plumbing,
I think someone's coming,"
Said the plumber, still plumbing; "It's me."

OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU!

Quote from: "SPrinkZ"

You're probably deaf and afraid to attempt;
I guess that you'd rather be smoking some hemp.

That's not an anapestic tetrameter.  I win.

It's not? What's anapestic tetrameter then? I also said it was DR.SEUSS'S version of anapestic tetrameter which begins with an iamb.

You should say it out loud, you obviously are deaf if you can't hear the meter.

Also, it's not called an anapestic tetrameter...rofl.

You should say it out loud, you obviously are deaf if you can't hear the meter.

I use the meter to measure distance, velocity, and acceleration.  But hey, that's just me.

Quote from: "SPrinkZ"

You should say it out loud, you obviously are deaf if you can't hear the meter.

I use the meter to measure distance, velocity, and acceleration.  But hey, that's just me.

Haha. Well I like metrics as well, I hate how Americans (me included) tend to use that archaic measuring method. We really need to switch, metrics makes so much more sense. It's far easier.

lemme tell you now:
i came to bring the pain hardcore from the brain
let's go inside my astral plane
find out my mental based on instrumental
records hey so i can make monumental
methods i'm not the king but niggaz is decaf
i stick 'em for the cream check it
just how deep can shit get - get deeper than your fists
and brothers is mad pissed accept it
in your cross colors clothes you crossed over
and now ya totally crossed out and kriss kross
who da boss niggaz get tossed to da side
and i'm the dark side of the force of course
it's the method man from the wu-tang clan
i be hectic and comin' for that headpiece protect it
fuck it two tears in a bucket
niggaz want the ruckas? so bust it at me son now bust it
stylez i get buckwild method man on some shit
fuck'n niggaz foul son i'm sick
insane crazy drivin' miss daisy
how the fuck am i? now i got mine i'm swayze
is it real son lemme know it's real son if its really real son lemme know it's real
load it up and kill one
load it up and kill one
load it up and kill one
if it's really real
when i was a little stereo i used to be the champion
i always wonder when i would be the number one - hey hey hey
and now you listen to me darcon darcon
- - -
and all you niggaz come and test me test me
i'm gonna lick out your brains
mothers wanna hang with the meth bring the rope
cuz the only way you hang is by the neck
nigga pump off a set comin' through all your projects
take it as a threat or better yet it is a promise
comin' like a vet on some old vietnam shit
you can bet your bottom dollar that i'm on it
and it'll get even worse word to god it's the wu
comin' through takin' niggaz 'fore they're
gone gone gone gone gone gone
movin' to your left
i came to represent and carve my name within your chest
you can come test realize it's no contest son
i'm the gun who won that old wild west
quick on the draw with my hands on the floor
lovin' all those goddamn funky rhymes galore
check it cuz i think not when it's hip hop like propa
rhymes be the proof when i'm drinkin' ninety proof vodka
no OJ no no straw
when you give it to me - yeah - give it to me raw i burn
give it to me raw i burn
chest hair
i don't need no chemical blow to pull no ho - no
all i need is chemical bank to pay her up
is it real son lemme know it's real son if its really real son
lemme know it's
1 2 3 4
kill one - fuck it up and kill one
fuck it up and kill one
lemme know it's real

All I can think is

HOLY SHIT WHY HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON FOR 8 PAGES?! EVEN THOUGH THERE ISN'T A GOD WHY AREN'T HYPERINTELLIGENT ALIENS DOING SOMETHING TO STOP THIS? THE BEST POSSIBLE OUTCOME IS A TINY METEOR SMASHING A VERY TINY PART OF THE FES SERVER SO THAT THIS THREAD IS TOTALLY CORRUPTED INTO NOTHINGNESS AND THEN WE WILL DRINK SO MUCH THAT THE MEMORIES GO AWAY...

What do you mean? This must be one of the coolest threads EVER!

Obviously it is 4 feet of 3 syllables each foot - unstressed, unstressed, stressed.

You're probably deaf and afraid to attempt;

You're prob a
bly deaf and
afraid to
attempt - you're missing a syllable.

Perhaps you said it as "you are" out loud and but wrote "you're" ?

Obviously it is 4 feet of 3 syllables each foot - unstressed, unstressed, stressed.

Quote

You're probably deaf and afraid to attempt;

You're prob a
bly deaf and
afraid to
attempt - you're missing a syllable.

Perhaps you said it as "you are" out loud and but wrote "you're" ?

No no. Haven't you read Dr.Seuss!?

Classic Dr.Seuss:

I meant what I said, and I said what I meant,
an elephant's faithful one hundred percent.

Now it's not perfect (it's very very slightly off in terms of pitch), but this is his way of using anapestic tetrameter. It's a well known fact that most people who use anapestic anything start the line with an iamb, since it is not only easier, but doesn't sound as forced.

Now go back and read what I said. I said it was anapestic tetrameter as Dr.Seuss used it. Which starts with an iamb, then three metrical feet of anapests, it can also end with a feminine ending.

"tetra" in "tetrameter" means 4.

If you only have 3 feet then it's not a "tetrameter"

Maybe "trimeter"?

lemme tell you now:
i came to bring the pain hardcore from the brain
let's go inside my astral plane
find out my mental based on instrumental
records hey so i can make monumental
methods i'm not the king but niggaz is decaf
i stick 'em for the cream check it
just how deep can shit get - get deeper than your fists
and brothers is mad pissed accept it
in your cross colors clothes you crossed over
and now ya totally crossed out and kriss kross
who da boss niggaz get tossed to da side
and i'm the dark side of the force of course
it's the method man from the wu-tang clan
i be hectic and comin' for that headpiece protect it
frak it two tears in a bucket
niggaz want the ruckas? so bust it at me son now bust it
stylez i get buckwild method man on some shit
frak'n niggaz foul son i'm sick
insane crazy drivin' miss daisy
how the frak am i? now i got mine i'm swayze
is it real son lemme know it's real son if its really real son lemme know it's real
load it up and kill one
load it up and kill one
load it up and kill one
if it's really real
when i was a little stereo i used to be the champion
i always wonder when i would be the number one - hey hey hey
and now you listen to me darcon darcon
- - -
and all you niggaz come and test me test me
i'm gonna lick out your brains
mothers wanna hang with the meth bring the rope
cuz the only way you hang is by the neck
nigga pump off a set comin' through all your projects
take it as a threat or better yet it is a promise
comin' like a vet on some old vietnam shit
you can bet your bottom dollar that i'm on it
and it'll get even worse word to god it's the wu
comin' through takin' niggaz 'fore they're
gone gone gone gone gone gone
movin' to your left
i came to represent and carve my name within your chest
you can come test realize it's no contest son
i'm the gun who won that old wild west
quick on the draw with my hands on the floor
lovin' all those goddamn funky rhymes galore
check it cuz i think not when it's hip hop like propa
rhymes be the proof when i'm drinkin' ninety proof vodka
no OJ no no straw
when you give it to me - yeah - give it to me raw i burn
give it to me raw i burn
chest hair
i don't need no chemical blow to pull no ho - no
all i need is chemical bank to pay her up
is it real son lemme know it's real son if its really real son
lemme know it's
1 2 3 4
kill one - frak it up and kill one
frak it up and kill one
lemme know it's real

dat shit is pussy son, here some reel gangsta sheet:

[Shaggy:]
I was skipping down the block when I heard some moaning
It was Dorothy she said she need some loving
Who the fuck was I to say no?
I took her to the crib, popped in that one movie Ghost
And it was on, my clothes got to pealing
It was sexual healing, but with no feeling
I was sticking my dick into thin air
And right when I busted, Dorothy disappeared

[Monoxide:]
When I met her it was January, middle of winter
I was alone up in my attic where nobody could hear her
It was just a cold gust of wind, I felt somebody pass through me
When I opened up my eyes, my only love appeared to me
Long hair, and she was bald in spots
And her skin was just as soft as a parking lot
And it was love at first sight
I'd never seen her again
And to this day I'm in my attic waiting on my girlfriend

[Chorus:]
Baby, I'm dead but I need you
I'm buried right here, and I'll never leave you
(Baby) She's deader then a doornail, looking for love
Doornail Dorothy was the neighborhood ghost.
(Baby) She's deader then a doornail, looking for love
Doornail Dorothy was the neighborhood ghost.

[Violent J:]
I started blowing her up with sİance after sİance
It's my turn, Violent J, to get in them pants
We went for ice cream but we almost got arrested
"Look he's got a dead body and he's over there molesting it"
I had to throw her in the trunk and take her to the crib
Cause mother fuckers always trippin, they need their money shit
We made love, rigor mortis set and my dick got stuck
But we didn't give a fuck
Hold me forever tight Dorothy

[ABK:]
I once met this chick, I believe her name was Dorothy
She had a banging body but her skin was kind of corpsey
I took her on a blind date, except this bitch was dead
I met her through my homie, guess he found her in his basement
I really didn't mind cause at the time I' kind of lonely
Even though she's dead, I only need someone to hold me
Was it a wise choice? Only time will tell.
But I had to fuckin leave cause she was deader then a doornail.

[Chorus:]
Baby, I'm dead but I need you
I'm buried right here, and I'll never leave you
(Baby) She's deader then a doornail, looking for love
Doornail Dorothy was the neighborhood ghost.
(Baby) She's deader then a doornail, looking for love
Doornail Dorothy was the neighborhood ghost.

[Madrox:]
She was looking like a ?? but she was a little hotter
Then the average homeless bitch with the holes in the sweatshirt
Showing off a nipple ring scars and all
But the party don't stop until she loses her bra
Panties are next to come, Oh Double F
But her sugar ain't as tight as that hole in her neck
She don't need respect, she just needs some dick
And me and the Lotus steady in and out of that ghastly shit.

[Blaze:]
We hooked up at a block party
That's the point where I remember
Sneaking into her house to smoke a couple joints
I smoked my light in there
She was hanging by surprise
With her fuck me boots, giving me the fuck me eyes
I took the ropes off, and bent her right over the washer
I took a little time cause body parts kept falling of her
I banged her fuckin neden until her head fell off
Picked it right back up so I could bust in her mouth.

[Chorus:]
Baby, I'm dead but I need you
I'm buried right here, and I'll never leave you
(Baby) She's deader then a doornail, looking for love
Doornail Dorothy was the neighborhood ghost.
(Baby) She's deader then a doornail, looking for love
Doornail Dorothy was the neighborhood ghost.

Baby, I'm dead but I need you
I'm buried right here, and I'll never leave you
Baby
Baby

"tetra" in "tetrameter" means 4.

If you only have 3 feet then it's not a "tetrameter"

OH FFS!!

I hate you, you're such an idiot.

"Dr. Seuss wrote most of his books in a verse form that in the terminology of metrics would be characterized as anapestic tetrameter, a meter employed also by Lord Byron and other poets of the English literary canon. (It is also the meter of the famous Christmas poem A Visit From St. Nicholas.) Abstractly, anapestic tetrameter consists of four rhythmic units (anapests), each composed of two weak beats followed by one strong, schematized below:
    x x X x x X x x X x x X

Often, the first weak syllable is omitted, or an additional weak syllable is added at the end. A typical line (the first line of If I Ran the Circus) is:

    In ALL the whole TOWN the most WONderful SPOT

Seuss generally maintained this meter quite strictly, until late in his career, when he was no longer able to maintain strict rhythm in all lines. The consistency of his meter was one of his hallmarks; the many imitators and parodists of Seuss are often unable to write in strict anapestic tetrameter, or are unaware that they should, and thus sound clumsy in comparison with the original.

Seuss also wrote verse in trochaic tetrameter, an arrangement of four units each with a strong followed by a weak beat.

    X x X x X x X x"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr.Seuss


Stop attempting to insult my intelligence. I know what tetra means, and I know what meter he wrote in. It was anapestic tetrameter.

Don't dis it if you don't know who wrote it.

Don't dis it if you don't know who wrote it.

son u betta step off b4 i get mah courage dot com on yo whit pasty ass.

Also, if you knew ANYTHING about meter (which you don't, so please stop PRETENDING), you'd know that the meter is set by how many metrical feet there are and the types.

So if you have 5 iambs, and 1 trochee it's iambic hexameter.

If you have 3 iambs and 3 trochees, it's now an irrational or free form poetry.

You fail man. You fail big time.

you guys man - you gotta get organized - come on
when i say "we" you say "suck"
we - suck - we - suck
when i say "we" you say "suck"
we - suck - we - suck - dick

play that record backwards
here's a message yo for the suckas
play that record backwards
and go fuck yourself

play that record backwards
it's a message from aaaaaawwwwww
play that record backwards
and go go gogogogo

have fun
muthafucka go have fun... muthafucka go have fun...
muthafucka go kill... yourself

hate and devour the young
and the weaker ones and don't forget the guns
you're gonna need 'em to go have fun
hate all the people you love
in a river of blood
and don't forget the guns
you're gonnna need 'em to destroy
always destroy... always destroy...
always destroy yourself if you don't get what you want now

clean your room
do your homework
don't stay out too late
eat your vegetables
put away your toys
don't sit too close to the TV
get dressed for church

have fun because you don't get what you want

Also, if you knew ANYTHING about meter (which you don't, so please stop PRETENDING), you'd know that the meter is set by how many metrical feet there are and the types.

So if you have 5 iambs, and 1 trochee it's iambic hexameter.

If you have 3 iambs and 3 trochees, it's now an irrational or free form poetry.

You fail man. You fail big time.

ouch, pwned by a guy who feels sick when he reads poetry.  This may be wishful thinking, but I hope you look back on this topic one day, and understand why so few people like you.

The bass, the rock
The mic, the treble
I like my coffee black
Just like my metal

The bass, the rock
The mic, the treble
I like my coffee black
Just like my metal

I can't wait for you to knock me up
In a minute, minute
In a fuckin' minute

I can't wait for you to knock me up
In a minute, minute
In a second

I can't wait for you to shut me up
And make me hip like badass
I can't wait for you to shut me up
Shut it up

I can't wait for you to shut me up
And make me hip like badass
I can't wait for you to shut me up
Shut it up

The bass, the rock
The mic, the treble
I like my coffee black
Just like my metal

The bass, the rock
The mic, the treble
I like my coffee black
Just like my metal

I can't wait for you to knock me up
In a minute, minute
In a fucking minute

I can't wait for you to knock me up
In a minute, minute
In a second

I can't wait for you to shut me up
And make me hip like badass
I can't wait for you to shut me up
Shut it up

I can't wait for you to shut me up
And make me hip like badass
I can't wait for you to shut me up
Shut it up

I don't find it funny right now (right now)
Just want my ma-ma-ma-money right now (now)
I'm on my way to the party right now (right now)

I don't find it funny right now (right now)
Just want my ma-ma-ma-money right now (now)
I'm on my way to the party right now (right now)

Because the break, the break, the break

I can't wait for you to shut me up
And make me hip like badass
I can't wait for you to shut me up
Shut it up

I can't wait for you to shut me up
And make me hip like badass
I can't wait for you to shut me up
Shut it up

That's great. I type online in meter just to be an ass.

Quote from: "SPrinkZ"

Also, if you knew ANYTHING about meter (which you don't, so please stop PRETENDING), you'd know that the meter is set by how many metrical feet there are and the types.

So if you have 5 iambs, and 1 trochee it's iambic hexameter.

If you have 3 iambs and 3 trochees, it's now an irrational or free form poetry.

You fail man. You fail big time.

ouch, pwned by a guy who feels sick when he reads poetry.  This may be wishful thinking, but I hope you look back on this topic one day, and understand why so few people like you.

I feel poetry with my entire being. It's a bit different than illness. I lack the articulation to explain the tactile nature of poetry to me.

Still, please stop pretending to know as much as me about poetry. The first thing I learned about it was meter. Meter is the easiest part of poetry.  

I'M POSTING POETRY AND YOU WANNA ARGUE NOW?!  :x

sit down and take five while I defrag your drive,
with Jack in the Box tacos and a dope G5,
if you bought MySpace Records Volume 1,
I'm gonna shoot you in the face with my internet gun,
my harddrive is huge, MP3s are external,
back up off the urinal and write in my LiveJournal,
at the puter all night cause my life is nocturnal,
data backup assures that my porn is eternal,
"You crazy," that's what all those bitches got to say,
so I whip it out and post a pic in my LJ,
friends only cause I don't want my Mom to see,
if she saw, she'd cut off the internet and cable TV,
but I don't give a fuck about those internet hoes,
I gotta cut em off before they want to propose,
cause the herpes isn't covered by my HMOs

Futuristic Sex Robotz, always on the scene,
and we'll heat up your case just like an Athalon XP,
we don't have no love for the internet skeeze,
cause our PayPal accounts are overflowing with green

trippin balls in bathroom stalls,
waitin for a fine ass bitch to call,
the THC hits my CPU,
and I'm chasin after dimes like an Orthodox Jew,
plug and play a bitch, I'm a player bitch,
like some virus shit, countin web site hits,
my Punisher fan grill is illin,
when I see you on the street, your shit will be spillin,
I'll infect you with Sasser and MS Blaster,
pop-ups be poppin up faster and faster,
I master a DAT tape full of raw raps, perhaps,
my shit make your whole crew collapse,
all you hackers, who gettin on my case,
Coaxke is here, and I'll reformat your fuckin face

sit back, cause I got a little story to tell,
and no I'm not talkin about no AOL,
I'm talkin about how FireFox saved me from browser hell,
while I was usin Internet Explorer on my DSL,
FireFox 0.3, it spoke to me,
it said "I'll make your life better than you ever could dream,
I'll get rid of all those pop-ups for free MP3s,
and I'll blow spyware's head off while it's down on its knees"

Yo, if you were spyware, you can't hear this shit anymore because you're fuckin dead, motherfucker. We bustin up the block with our iced out modded cases and 120mm Punisher fan-grills, motherfucker, and if your Mom talks shit to us, we'll kill her and burn her in a motherfuckin van, , and write about that shit in our LiveJournals, motherfucker, and if you want somethin crazy, like pineapple, fuck you, we'll kill you motherfucker.

Still, please stop pretending to know as much as me about poetry. The first thing I learned about it was meter. Meter is the easiest part of poetry.  

OK. We get it. You know your poetry.
Now all you need is to learn some social skills, and you're all set!