DIY Christmas tree

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faded mike

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DIY Christmas tree
« on: December 22, 2020, 03:54:52 PM »
We cut down a christmas tree from the forest this year. It smells so good - almost fruity. I compared it smell of the sap to a local tree, the wild one smells way more nicely. You can actually get chistmas tree permits, i think around $15.

Only problem is gnomes - i got it from where i usually go to pick mushrooms. Hopefully they won't throw any large rocks at me when i go back for mushrooms.

Does any know what steps i might take in gnome repellant? I was thinking i could sprinkle some granite dust or seaweed to replace the biomass from where I took the tree, but would the forest gnomes settle for this. And do i want ot get into gnome bartering situation.

Im just joking for the most part, but i definitely believe in forest spirits, and hope they don't hate me for this. I think out of my simple understanding of mathematics alone, i may spread some rock dust (which is full of nutrients, some of  which normally take a long time to free up) in the area to replace the loss of tree. And help the forest incase it had big plans for said tree. And it will be fun to see if the rock dust works very well.
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Space Cowgirl

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Re: DIY Christmas tree
« Reply #1 on: December 22, 2020, 05:58:45 PM »
Set a big plate of marijuana cookies on the tree stump.
I'm sorry. Am I to understand that when you have a boner you like to imagine punching the shit out of Tom Bishop? That's disgusting.

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boydster

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Re: DIY Christmas tree
« Reply #2 on: December 22, 2020, 06:02:37 PM »
I think you should bring a bonsai tree to replace the one you cut down. Hear me out. The bonsai tree is a noble tree, with a heritage that goes back probably as long or longer than the gnomes. It is a small tree, precisely the size they can most readily appreciate. The bonsai tree benefits greatly from maintenance, like regular trimming, giving the gnomes an opportunity to connect with the tree in a deep and very important way, not only helping the tree but also shaping the tree over several generations of gnomes.

Re: DIY Christmas tree
« Reply #3 on: December 22, 2020, 08:28:11 PM »
That's an invasive species, like you know ferrets.

What you should do is, well first and I don't need to tell you this, do a blood stone ritual! Then go to the forest and and leave some cheese (generic is fine).

As for the tree you have, have you bought a cat? I hear those help.
"Deep Throat: Mister Mulder, why are those like yourself, who believe in the existence of extraterrestrial life on this Earth, not dissuaded by all the evidence to the contrary?
Mulder: Because, all the evidence to the contrary is not entirely dissuasive."

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faded mike

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Re: DIY Christmas tree
« Reply #4 on: December 22, 2020, 09:22:48 PM »
I think you guys are spot on.

 The tree smells like marijuana, I already left half of it in situe - imagining a bonsai like scenario, and the rusteling of ferrets, or minks as they call the local species, suspiciously left out of the limelight, are probably often confused for the more interesting Forest gnome.

No Blood stone though pls., Cheese offering maybe..

I'll probably go to Molson Canadian Tire tomorow, to enquire about Gnome spray.
" Using our vast surveillance system, we've uncovered revolutionary new information..."
           -them

I am not a druggy

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faded mike

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Re: DIY Christmas tree
« Reply #5 on: December 22, 2020, 09:32:18 PM »
Or maybe, instead of the cheese, i could set up an imformative rock pile denoting the crushing of rock for fertilizer. Put those gnomes to good work, just kidding. Besides they may grow too strong and takeover.
" Using our vast surveillance system, we've uncovered revolutionary new information..."
           -them

I am not a druggy

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faded mike

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Re: DIY Christmas tree
« Reply #6 on: December 22, 2020, 11:13:38 PM »
I think you should bring a bonsai tree to replace the one you cut down. Hear me out. The bonsai tree is a noble tree, with a heritage that goes back probably as long or longer than the gnomes. It is a small tree, precisely the size they can most readily appreciate. The bonsai tree benefits greatly from maintenance, like regular trimming, giving the gnomes an opportunity to connect with the tree in a deep and very important way, not only helping the tree but also shaping the tree over several generations of gnomes.
I think this is also a pretty good idea. The only problem is that traditional bonsai - from what i understand - uses a very fast draining soil - requiring a lot of attention. But with some tinkering, it could probably grow in the ground, but not as cool then.
" Using our vast surveillance system, we've uncovered revolutionary new information..."
           -them

I am not a druggy

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Jura-Glenlivet II

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Re: DIY Christmas tree
« Reply #7 on: December 23, 2020, 01:28:06 AM »


No, 12th night Wassail the shit out of them, only give instead of take, lots of alcohol and cakes and singing, and then, just maybe they wont cut your throat while you sleep for cutting down their homes in deference to some other deity.
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markjo

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Re: DIY Christmas tree
« Reply #8 on: December 23, 2020, 10:55:17 AM »
Science is what happens when preconception meets verification.
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Re: DIY Christmas tree
« Reply #9 on: December 24, 2020, 07:46:31 PM »
I think you guys are spot on.

 The tree smells like marijuana, I already left half of it in situe - imagining a bonsai like scenario, and the rusteling of ferrets, or minks as they call the local species, suspiciously left out of the limelight, are probably often confused for the more interesting Forest gnome.

No Blood stone though pls., Cheese offering maybe..

I'll probably go to Molson Canadian Tire tomorow, to enquire about Gnome spray.

Just set out some Milson Canadian beer, it tastes like tires and is cheeper.
"Deep Throat: Mister Mulder, why are those like yourself, who believe in the existence of extraterrestrial life on this Earth, not dissuaded by all the evidence to the contrary?
Mulder: Because, all the evidence to the contrary is not entirely dissuasive."

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faded mike

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Re: DIY Christmas tree
« Reply #10 on: December 25, 2020, 07:31:18 PM »


No, 12th night Wassail the shit out of them, only give instead of take, lots of alcohol and cakes and singing, and then, just maybe they wont cut your throat while you sleep for cutting down their homes in deference to some other deity.

Cakes, I like that. Sounds like you know what you're talking about som thank you.
" Using our vast surveillance system, we've uncovered revolutionary new information..."
           -them

I am not a druggy

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faded mike

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Re: DIY Christmas tree
« Reply #11 on: December 25, 2020, 07:32:11 PM »
" Using our vast surveillance system, we've uncovered revolutionary new information..."
           -them

I am not a druggy

*

faded mike

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Re: DIY Christmas tree
« Reply #12 on: December 25, 2020, 07:33:29 PM »
I think you guys are spot on.

 The tree smells like marijuana, I already left half of it in situe - imagining a bonsai like scenario, and the rusteling of ferrets, or minks as they call the local species, suspiciously left out of the limelight, are probably often confused for the more interesting Forest gnome.

No Blood stone though pls., Cheese offering maybe..

I'll probably go to Molson Canadian Tire tomorow, to enquire about Gnome spray.

Just set out some Milson Canadian beer, it tastes like tires and is cheeper.
What. thats cheaper (in the US?)?
" Using our vast surveillance system, we've uncovered revolutionary new information..."
           -them

I am not a druggy

*

faded mike

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Re: DIY Christmas tree
« Reply #13 on: December 25, 2020, 07:36:48 PM »
Actually, I don't care, but around here it isn't I dont think - just standard.
" Using our vast surveillance system, we've uncovered revolutionary new information..."
           -them

I am not a druggy