So I have a secret smoke machine...

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Crouton

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So I have a secret smoke machine...
« on: April 14, 2020, 05:02:20 PM »
It's secret because my family doesn't know about it.  My plan is to hide it somewhere in the house and put it on a timer to flood the house with fake smoke at around maybe 4am.  And then I'll see what happens.

I really don't know why I do some of the things that I do.
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boydster

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Re: So I have a secret smoke machine...
« Reply #1 on: April 14, 2020, 05:08:13 PM »
Will you be yelling "FIRE!!" or not?

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Crouton

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Re: So I have a secret smoke machine...
« Reply #2 on: April 14, 2020, 05:12:42 PM »
Well the trick is not to scare them too much because I want it to be an ongoing mystery.  If they call the fire department then the jig is up.  So I'm thinking of framing more as some kind of fog.
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boydster

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Re: So I have a secret smoke machine...
« Reply #3 on: April 14, 2020, 05:14:31 PM »
OH! It could be because the aliens are trying to adjust the atmosphere in your house to be more like it is on their space ship. Once it reaches some sort of equilibrium, they'll bring you on board for all sorts of wonderful terrible things.

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Stash

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Re: So I have a secret smoke machine...
« Reply #4 on: April 14, 2020, 05:30:57 PM »
Well the trick is not to scare them too much because I want it to be an ongoing mystery.  If they call the fire department then the jig is up.  So I'm thinking of framing more as some kind of fog.

Have the family randomly watch The Fog (The 1980 John Carpenter version) a day or so before. Then fire up the machine in the middle of the night and stomp around a bit to wake them up.

No. That sudden lurch forwards is the atmospheric slosh effect.

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Space Cowgirl

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Re: So I have a secret smoke machine...
« Reply #5 on: April 14, 2020, 05:34:40 PM »
Your wife is going to let you drown in the hot tub.
I'm sorry. Am I to understand that when you have a boner you like to imagine punching the shit out of Tom Bishop? That's disgusting.

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hoppy

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Re: So I have a secret smoke machine...
« Reply #6 on: April 14, 2020, 07:04:26 PM »
It's secret because my family doesn't know about it.  My plan is to hide it somewhere in the house and put it on a timer to flood the house with fake smoke at around maybe 4am.  And then I'll see what happens.

I really don't know why I do some of the things that I do.
If you do that, it is because you have a screw loose. You are supposed to be protecting your family from this kind of shit.
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Crouton

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Re: So I have a secret smoke machine...
« Reply #7 on: April 14, 2020, 08:18:58 PM »
There are some who would say that fake smoke is effective at warding off the coronavirus.

https://www.theflatearthsociety.org/forum/index.php?topic=85561.msg2245822#msg2245822
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Crouton

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Re: So I have a secret smoke machine...
« Reply #8 on: April 14, 2020, 08:30:18 PM »
Your wife is going to let you drown in the hot tub.

Possibly.  But I would argue that true courage is following through with bizarre pranks even when your spouse might kill you for it.
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Shifter

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Re: So I have a secret smoke machine...
« Reply #9 on: April 15, 2020, 01:47:01 AM »
Given it won't smell and will sink rather than rise, it won't look or smell like smoke.

I'd go for the aliens modifying your atmosphere. Much more plausible 8)


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Crouton

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Re: So I have a secret smoke machine...
« Reply #10 on: April 15, 2020, 01:03:48 PM »
Damnit!  I just tried out the smoke machine and it set off the fire alarms!

I'm going to have to give this more thought.
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rabinoz

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Re: So I have a secret smoke machine...
« Reply #11 on: April 15, 2020, 06:06:18 PM »
Damnit!  I just tried out the smoke machine and it set off the fire alarms!

I'm going to have to give this more thought.
Pull the batteries out of the fire alarms :o?

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Jura-Glenlivet II

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Re: So I have a secret smoke machine...
« Reply #12 on: April 16, 2020, 01:07:15 AM »
Damnit!  I just tried out the smoke machine and it set off the fire alarms!

I'm going to have to give this more thought.

Are you sure it's a dry ice machine and not just a fire? Dry ice shouldn't set off fire alarms.
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Crouton

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Re: So I have a secret smoke machine...
« Reply #13 on: April 16, 2020, 09:15:13 AM »
Damnit!  I just tried out the smoke machine and it set off the fire alarms!

I'm going to have to give this more thought.

Are you sure it's a dry ice machine and not just a fire? Dry ice shouldn't set off fire alarms.

Hmm.  I've never owned a smoke machine before.  It was very cheap.  I suppose the manufacturer could have cut corners and made a machine that basically sets itself on fire to make the smoke.
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Re: So I have a secret smoke machine...
« Reply #14 on: April 16, 2020, 01:01:32 PM »
You could start an actual fire.  That'll scare em up.
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Re: So I have a secret smoke machine...
« Reply #15 on: April 16, 2020, 02:59:24 PM »
It's secret because my family doesn't know about it.  My plan is to hide it somewhere in the house and put it on a timer to flood the house with fake smoke at around maybe 4am.  And then I'll see what happens.

I really don't know why I do some of the things that I do.
If you do that, it is because you have a screw loose. You are supposed to be protecting your family from this kind of shit.

Hoppy is correct. You have several loose screws. You need help.

I hope when you do it, someone calls the firebrigade and you get billed the full cost of a callout - which will be thousands of $$$$$. The look on your wife's face when they locate the cause to be your fog machine, will be priceless! (Best you hide all the knives in your house beforehand)

I also hope nobody in your house sustains lung problems from breathing that crap, or trips and injures themselves (because they can't see) trying to flee your house.

It's a dumb idea, Crouton.
« Last Edit: April 16, 2020, 03:01:22 PM by Sunset »

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Crouton

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Re: So I have a secret smoke machine...
« Reply #16 on: April 16, 2020, 03:03:55 PM »
It's secret because my family doesn't know about it.  My plan is to hide it somewhere in the house and put it on a timer to flood the house with fake smoke at around maybe 4am.  And then I'll see what happens.

I really don't know why I do some of the things that I do.
If you do that, it is because you have a screw loose. You are supposed to be protecting your family from this kind of shit.

Hoppy is correct. You have several loose screws. You need help.

I hope when you do it, someone calls the firebrigade and you get billed the full cost of a callout - which will be thousands of $$$$$. The look on your wife's face when they locate the cause to be your fog machine, will be priceless! (Best you hide all the knives in your house beforehand)

I also hope nobody in your house sustains lung problems from breathing that crap, or trips and injures themselves (because they can't see) trying to flee your house.

It's a dumb idea, Crouton.

You'll understand when you have kids of your own.
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Crouton

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Re: So I have a secret smoke machine...
« Reply #17 on: April 16, 2020, 03:10:41 PM »
Damnit!  I just tried out the smoke machine and it set off the fire alarms!

I'm going to have to give this more thought.
Pull the batteries out of the fire alarms :o?

The thought crossed my mind.  Not so easy though.  I have a pretty serious smoke detection system in my house with multiple layers of redundancy and fault handling.  Disabling it is... well the plan to the Matrix 2 where they have to take out half the city to break into the Architect's hideout comes to mind.
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boydster

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Re: So I have a secret smoke machine...
« Reply #18 on: April 16, 2020, 03:57:06 PM »
In my mind, I was envisioning a fog machine. Am I to understand that this is not, in fact, a fog machine, but makes real life actual smoke? That certainly changes the calculus. There are still pranks to be had, for sure, though.

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Crouton

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Re: So I have a secret smoke machine...
« Reply #19 on: April 16, 2020, 04:02:59 PM »
I imagined fog as well.  I haven't read into what is actually happening yet.

This is the first time I fired up this machine so it's possible that maybe there's some kind of break in period.  It had a smell to it.  I'm pretty sure I've breathed smoke from a smoke machine before and I didn't notice much of a smell.
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Re: So I have a secret smoke machine...
« Reply #20 on: April 16, 2020, 05:21:32 PM »
It sounds like the way the Addams Family amuse themselves. I've been to plenty of house fires, and a house fire prank at 4am is a recipe for disaster.

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rabinoz

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Re: So I have a secret smoke machine...
« Reply #21 on: April 16, 2020, 05:43:20 PM »
Damnit!  I just tried out the smoke machine and it set off the fire alarms!

I'm going to have to give this more thought.
Pull the batteries out of the fire alarms :o?

The thought crossed my mind.  Not so easy though.  I have a pretty serious smoke detection system in my house with multiple layers of redundancy and fault handling.  Disabling it is... well the plan to the Matrix 2 where they have to take out half the city to break into the Architect's hideout comes to mind.
A shotgun works. Of course you have the police to deal with but it's a emergency.

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Jura-Glenlivet II

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Re: So I have a secret smoke machine...
« Reply #22 on: April 17, 2020, 02:08:49 AM »
It's secret because my family doesn't know about it.  My plan is to hide it somewhere in the house and put it on a timer to flood the house with fake smoke at around maybe 4am.  And then I'll see what happens.

I really don't know why I do some of the things that I do.
If you do that, it is because you have a screw loose. You are supposed to be protecting your family from this kind of shit.

Hoppy is correct. You have several loose screws. You need help.

I hope when you do it, someone calls the firebrigade and you get billed the full cost of a callout - which will be thousands of $$$$$. The look on your wife's face when they locate the cause to be your fog machine, will be priceless! (Best you hide all the knives in your house beforehand)

I also hope nobody in your house sustains lung problems from breathing that crap, or trips and injures themselves (because they can't see) trying to flee your house.

It's a dumb idea, Crouton.

You'll understand when you have kids of your own.

Some people have no sense of fun.

I remember playing "dead in bed" when the kids were small, oh the tears, they were actually beating us.
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Shifter

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Re: So I have a secret smoke machine...
« Reply #23 on: April 17, 2020, 02:21:02 AM »
It's secret because my family doesn't know about it.  My plan is to hide it somewhere in the house and put it on a timer to flood the house with fake smoke at around maybe 4am.  And then I'll see what happens.

I really don't know why I do some of the things that I do.
If you do that, it is because you have a screw loose. You are supposed to be protecting your family from this kind of shit.

Hoppy is correct. You have several loose screws. You need help.

I hope when you do it, someone calls the firebrigade and you get billed the full cost of a callout - which will be thousands of $$$$$. The look on your wife's face when they locate the cause to be your fog machine, will be priceless! (Best you hide all the knives in your house beforehand)

I also hope nobody in your house sustains lung problems from breathing that crap, or trips and injures themselves (because they can't see) trying to flee your house.

It's a dumb idea, Crouton.

You'll understand when you have kids of your own.

Some people have no sense of fun.

I remember playing "dead in bed" when the kids were small, oh the tears, they were actually beating us.

I remember as a kid when my grandmother called asking for my mum I said she was dead lol. They got really worried


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Jura-Glenlivet II

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Re: So I have a secret smoke machine...
« Reply #24 on: April 17, 2020, 02:41:38 AM »


Hoppy won't be pleased, but then again what is the point of Hoppy?
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hoppy

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Re: So I have a secret smoke machine...
« Reply #25 on: April 17, 2020, 08:33:22 AM »


Hoppy won't be pleased, but then again what is the point of Hoppy?
Hoppy's point here is to tell you the truth of the matter.
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Re: So I have a secret smoke machine...
« Reply #26 on: April 17, 2020, 10:34:08 AM »
The last time there was a surprise fire drill at the glorious leader's school they used a smoke machine to make it more realistic. Bet there were a few traumatised kids that day.
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Re: So I have a secret smoke machine...
« Reply #27 on: April 17, 2020, 12:26:30 PM »
Weird. Buys smoke machine and discovers the smoke sets off the fire alarms. Who woulda thought? Decides he needs to rethink this prank. Is it a fog prank or smoke prank might be a good place to start?  ::)

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rabinoz

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Re: So I have a secret smoke machine...
« Reply #28 on: April 17, 2020, 01:48:20 PM »
Weird. Buys smoke machine and discovers the smoke sets off the fire alarms. Who woulda thought? Decides he needs to rethink this prank. Is it a fog prank or smoke prank might be a good place to start?  ::)
A photo-electric smoke-detector wouldn't care whether it's smoke or fog - they "look" the same ;D.

Re: So I have a secret smoke machine...
« Reply #29 on: April 17, 2020, 10:22:10 PM »
Crouton isn't trying to prank a smoke detector, Rabinoz, he's trying to prank his family.

If he wants his family to think the house is on fire, by smoke, won't smoke detector activation add to the prank??? If he wants smoke with stench, just create a couple of homemade smoke bombs that stink.

So, so easy to make.