Foreword: The names in this scenario are real, but the scenario may be wholly or partially fictitious.
WerenasaXX- bushfires conspiracy
Another day in the flat earth societyrabinoz: This damn wise is making me crazy everywhere. how can he respond so fast?
jackblack: Sir, he uses IBM's fastest computers. According to rumors, the computer it uses is not yet commercially manufactured and that at 100mhz speed.
rabinoz: what? I want a compter in 200mhz speed at least.
jackblack: Sir, we use apple computers at most 50mhz.
rabinoz: call them and want produce it as soon as possible.
jackblack: yes sir.
<Jack calls the Apple Australia Office>jackblack: your computers are very slow and this is hurting our work.
salesman: What can I do? These are our best computers we sent you.
jackblack: They are not enough. Our boss wants it 200mhz speed.
salesman: Heavy go, man! This is not produced in entire world yet.
jackblack: So produce it.
salesman: I can not do that, I am just a salesman.
jackblack: Then connect me to your boss.
salesman: Okay I will make you call to Ceo of Apple.
jackblack: Well do.
-- The waiting ring tone---Tim Cook, Apple Ceo: This is Tim, how may I help you?
jackblack: Hello Tim, this is Jackblack, from NASA office in Brisbane. how are you?
Tim Cook: Fine, thanks, and you?
jackblack: Fine, dealing with f*cking flat earthers. They are constantly using fastest computers that we don't have.
Tim Cook: What can I do about it Jack? We are lack in low about gold hence unable to produce better computers.
jackblack: But IBM is doing it.
Tim Cook: Yes, but they are using secret uranium technology that we have not reached yet.
jackblack: Stop to excuses! Just do it!
Tim Cook: But how about gold?
jackblack: It is your problem how you find gold. Go and find it, produce it and send us in a month. Otherwise I am calling NASA and they will send you our some jihadist or fetö friends.
(Tim has gulped down)
Tim Cook: Yes sir, immediately!
jackblack: Well do!
<Tim calls his secretary.>Katherine! Katherine! Come here, now!
Katherine is running in: "Yes Tim, whats happen?"
Tim: Katherine! Find me ceos of Newmont gold, BArrick and Anglogold, now!
Katherine: Tim, what's going on?
Tim: Ah, secrets of the company.
Katherine: I am the vice president, you can share it me.
Tim: Okay, we need faster computers but gold pruduction is low. I am getting telephone from all over the world want me to produce better computers. Call them and want them increase the gold production.
Katherine: Okay, relax, I do it.
- Katherine video conference with ceos of Newmont gold, Barrick, Anglogold and Rex gold-Katherine: We need more gold. You our partners should give it us.
Gary Goldberg (newmont gold ceo): we use all our production mines in the world. we will start mining in brazil forests soon. however, this job takes a little longer.
Mark Bristow (barrick gold ceo) : Our production facilities are currently operating at full capacity and we give almost all of our production to you.
Kelvin dushnisky (anglogold ceo): we used all methods to increase our production and this year we increased our production capacity by 10%. that's all we can.
Ryan Brown (Rex Gold Ceo, Austalia): our possibilities are already limited and we sell our entire production to you.
Katherine: excuses, excuses and more excuses. I don't want to listen your excuses, gentlemen! I want to listen your solutions!
Gary: Other than to the mining we started in the Brazilian forests after bushfires in Amazones, there is nothing we can do for now.
Katherine: then open new mines. Australia is the country with the most gold. why don't you run more mines there?
Ryan Brown (Rex Gold): ma'am all the gold is under the national forests.
Katherine: why don't we make them like amazons?
<An icy air blew in the room. People are looking each other>Katherine: Yes, why don't you burn them and make them convenient for mining?
Kelvin dushnisky: Sure this can be done.
Gary Goldberg: We did this in Brazil, but there were public reaction been a problem for us.
Katherine: Who cares about the public reaction? Agree with the Australian government. they can convince the public.
<At the end of the meeting, Gary called the Australian government and made an agreement to make the forests suitable for mining.>
<Another day in the flat earth society>Shifter: Hello wise, my friend. our country is a little hot these days.
wise: Ah, it is normal. this is the season of summer months there I guess. enjoy it, girls, beach.
Shifter: I mean we am burning!
wise: Have you ever thought of getting married?
Shifter: I mean our forests are burning.
wise: forest fires also occur frequently in our country. but we have very successful firefighters, they extinguish in one day at a time.
shifter: this time the situation is a little different. 100 fires started in 20 different mountains at the same time.
wise: What? This can't be chance. I will do my best to help you. Hold tight!
shifter: Thanks.
--wise calls president Erdoghan--Secretary of Erdogan: this is the presidential office. how can I help you?
wise: Find me the president now.
Secretary: Where do you call to? This is presidency, not like a three-ring circus.
wise: and I'm the chief of secret operations bureau. Do you want to continue your business life in Antarctica?
Secretary: Sorry sir, I am transmiting you to president.
Erdogan: I hope you have a good excuse, as it disturbs me between my many works, mister wise!
wise: Yes sir! Australia is burning!
Erdogan: Who cares? It is too far. Keep far to Australia then.
wise: But sir, they are our allies, we have to help them.
Erdogan: are we charity?
wise: Sir, If you remember, in the past years, we have conducted a study to capture ... (cencored because of fetö threatening)
Erdogan: Sure, we should help our allies.
<--President Erdogan calls Mevlut Cavusoğlu, the Foreign Minister-->Erdoğan: Mevlüt, How are our firefighting teams?
Mevlüt: Sir, we have the best quality teams in this region. Last year, we extinguished around 500 fires in our country, 50 in Greece, 100 in Italy, 75 in Russia, 250 in Syria, 25 in Libya and 700 in other countries.
Erdoğan: Enough. How soon can we extinguish bushfires in Australia?
Mevlüt: In a week or less.
Erdoğan: OK. Now make a press release and say that we want to help the Australian people, our allies, our friends.
Mevlüt: Right away sir!
<-- Turkish press, Ankara:
https://www.aa.com.tr/en/turkey/turkey-stands-with-australia-with-bushfires-raging/1695387 >
Turkish Foreign Minister Mevlut Cavusoglu expressed Turkey’s support to Australia for the deadly bushfires that have ravished the country.
“My dear friend @MarisePayne, together w/Turkish people deeply saddened by #bushfires in your beautiful country. Sharing wholeheartedly your pain. Stand ready to provide all required assistance to deal with this devastating disaster,” Cavusoglu said on Twitter.
--Marise Payne, Australian Foreign Minister calls Scott Morrison, PM--Marise: Scot, Turks are coming.
Scott: Wellcome them.
Marise: Sir, I mean they are coming to extinguishing the bushfires.
Scott: What? Hold them!
Marise: But they are our allies. How will we explain this to our public?
Scott: Hide it as much as possible.
Marise: Ah yes, that playbook. You're pretty good at hiding... How was Hawaii by the way?
Scott: It was brilliant. The air was so clean! I trust you all stayed safe while the plebs had to keep working through the thick of it?
Marise: You know if there is one thing us politicians dont do, it's actual work!
Scott: Haha! Bloody oath! I'm still copping a lot of heat over the scandal - just as planned. No one will watch our miners while they focus their attack on me. Regarding those Turks, just tell them we wont be requiring their assistance. If they come, they will most certainly extinguish the fires. We cant let that happen.
Marise: No problem
<--Marise Payne, Australian FM, twitter>@MarisePayne: Special thanks to Cavusoğlu, my friend, Turkish FM. Australia is strong enough to deal with all kinds of problems on its own.
--
<Mevlüt Çavoşoğlu, Turkish FM calls Erdoğan Turkish President>Mevlüt Çavoşoğlu:: sir, Australians rejected our offer of aid.
Erdoğan: Are they idiot?
Mevlüt Çavoşoğlu: I don't know why, but something is going wrong.
Erdoğan: Okay, At least we have offered.
--Erdoğan calls his secretary-- transmit to wise--wise: yes sir. I am ready to hear your good news.
Erdoğan: Unfortunately, they have rejected our help. there may be another problem behind this.
wise: Yes sir, I suspect mining companies.
Erdoğan: don't share such issues with me. If there is anything I can still do about this, I can help.
wise: no sir thank you
<--wise calls flat earthers all around the world-->wise youtube broadcast, with flat earthers
wise: dear friends. They are a conspiracy in Australia. Somebody is burning the forests.
crouton: Fcking conspirators!
wise: Let's all volunteer, go there and put out those fires
Jura: With pleasure!
Space Cowgirls: I am ready with my marhsmellows!
Wise: I meant something better. Anyways.
Others. Yeahh! Firefighting! Owww too hot!
shifter: Thank you all, my friends. I'll be there to waiting you.
-- flat earthers from all over the globe came to sydney airport by plane of turkish airlines. here the shifter also joined them. On Monday they will move to the forest with a small airplane belonging to rex regional airlines.--