It is advised that all Zetetics and free-thinking men and women avoid the septic moon tonight. Do not be coyed into looking at a "Strawberry" moon. This is yet another press tactic that puts funding for space exploration above the safety of populace.
AT ALL COSTS AVOID OUTDOOR CONTACT TONIGHT, ESPECIALLY AT 10:30 PM.
If not, as always, be sure to prepare:
- Zinc Oxide Ointment
- Polarized Sunglasses
- Foil or Solar Filters on open windows
All Zetetics should check in.