Like some kind of fool I actually care about this site. There needs to be a good site for FE discussion and debate somewhere and this seems to be the best bet. At the very least it's active, and isn't run by a tyrant. But as literally every user who tries to debate as a FEer, it is currently unusable.
Instead of brushing that aside, pay attention for once.
This is a major, systemic, long-term problem that has been well-established for quite a while now, and nothing is being done. Nothing has ever been done. A huge swathe of your userbase finds that this site fails at its most basic intended purpose and that apparently isn't considered a flaw worth fixing. I don't even know any more.
But in the vain hope that someone actually is going to read this, like it isn't just going to be ignored like every other attempt to change something about the site, I'd like to list some of the more major things that stand out.
Take the status quo, and shove it
This seems to be a factor. Everyone is so focused on defending the way things are that they don't bother to look for better ways. Take the big three FE forums; they suck. They are not used for their intended purpose in the slightest. FE Q&A is just a mess because everyone gets too passionate to not debate, FE General and FE Debate have basically ended up being the same thing. Sure, the intent behind them is different and fine, but who cares when that isn't what's resulting?
In an ideal world I'd suggets locking them, archiving them and making three subforums. FE Basic to serve as what Q&A is meant to be, for all the noobs to repeat the same stock arguments endlessly. FE Advanced to serve as proper debate, for the more developed and interesting arguments like neutrinos, or things that specifically address specific FE models rather than the generic 'gotcha!' shit that plagues the forum. And third, RE Defense or some such thing, where the flaws in RET can be discussed.
Normally I'd be more hesitant before suggesting a major change like this, except I have my own forum. If your host is remotely competent all that would take maybe five minutes. And it has a better use too; it completely clears out the backlog. Change the search default to not go over the FEG/Q&A/FED forums (though still have them be tickable boxes) and hopefully we will only need to have the same old discussions once. Answers can actually be found more easily then. The search function, yet another feature of the forum that fails in its intended purpose, will work.
More generally though, just look back at the site. There were plenty of discussions about having a formal debate section, a mass PM option, enthusiastic responses... and nothing ever comes from it.
People want change. That is evident. Do something.
Letter and spirit of the law
You have users who dedicate themselves to making this site as hostile and toxic as possible. I'll admit I've dipped into that side more than once when the frustration at putting up with this place gets to be too much, and that's the problem. You have a few basic good behavior rules, that barely get enforced but whatever, and that isn't enough. Punish the users who don't follow the spirit of the rules either, who might toe the line but can lawyer their way around to be technically following them, and who still make the site unpleasant.
This site should not be a chore to use. The fact it is, is the problem.
As I've mentioned before, making this site toxic, maintaining that environment, cripples the moderation team. What's the worst you can do, ban someone? Congrats, you've given them a vacation. Best case scenario you've banned someone who actually cares about the FE debate and was incensed by troublemakers and trolls, worst case you've banned someone that really doesn't give a damn and'll be back to do the same just as soon as it runs out.
You need this site to be enjoyable. That is the only way for the moderation team to have any power. Accept the fact it isn't, you know full well why, pretty much every user of consequence does, and do something about it already.
Banning the users that make this site a chore is not a loss. If someone is unpleasant then they've got to go, even if they can smarm their way onto the right side of the letter of the law.
Ignorance is a problem
This ties into my first point. Too many noobs, whether they've been here for years or for days, asking after the same tedious dull stock points that everyone is sick of. Freshen up the FAQ and/or wiki, hell go ask Jane to write it given she seems to have done more to make an FAQ than any of the actual staff here, have the terms and conditions upon signing up (and if this forum has an introductory PM, that too) link to it, tell noobs to read it, and if someone is not willing to put in that tiniest bit of effort and read the most basic few questions before making demands, warn and ban them. They are not someone to prize the presence of.
I am quite literally begging you at this point. Make this site usable, make it good, don't just ignore the constant requests for improvement that you get.