The Cooking Thread

Quote from: Colonel Gaydafi on February 24, 2021, 06:00:16 AM
Wtf Jura? Scones do not rhyme with bones. You are not the person I thought you were.

Now listen here young lady, do not go there, it has a sodding e before the s, ergo its like I said, done, no more of your cheek.

I am on the southern edge of the purple patch in the middle of people who get it right, all the rest are pretentious muppets.

You are all kinds of wrong now

Logged

Quote from: WardoggKC130FE

If Gayer doesn't remember you, you might as well do yourself a favor and become an hero.

Quote from: Raa

there is a difference between touching a muff and putting your hand into it isn't there?

Crouton

Flat Earth Inspector General of High Fashion Crimes and Misdemeanors
17037
+5/-4
He who walks away from Omelas

Re: The Cooking Thread

« Reply #553 on: September 25, 2021, 06:57:29 PM »

Quote from: JimmyTheCrab on December 14, 2020, 01:37:18 PM

Quote from: Jura-Glenlivet II on December 14, 2020, 12:30:23 PM
So, the food wasn't good? (Well as alluded to above), what in Jesus hanging Christ did you expect? It was out of a fucking can!
This and double this. I thought he was trolling. Sadly he wasn't.

Sticky Toffee Pudding is more my sort of thing - you really should try that, Crouton.

Here is one in the series of "How to cook the perfect..." recipes, which are usually excellent (plus they give you all the variations and debating points)

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/wordofmouth/2011/apr/14/cook-perfect-sticky-toffee-pudding

Just, for fuck's sake, don't get this one

It's not bad. Insanely sweet. A little less practical since you pretty much have to eat the entire thing once it's done.

The recipe from the Guardian was sort of broken. I used this one instead. https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/12500-sticky-toffee-pudding. The one from the Guardian and from NYTimes both used sugars that aren't easy to get so I subbed dark brown sugar. Not sure how much of a difference it makes.

Next up, spotted dick and soul cakes.

Logged

Intelligentia et magnanimitas vincvnt violentiam et desperationem.
The truth behind NASA's budget

Jura-Glenlivet II

Flat Earth Inquisitor
7396
+57/-120
Will I still be perfect tomorrow?

Re: The Cooking Thread

« Reply #554 on: September 27, 2021, 01:50:51 PM »

I'm not much of a sweet person, but that looks good, tell me you put single cream on it, that would make it perfect.

It's blackberry season here and the hedges are full, we collected shit loads and we are having blackberry crumble tomorrow.

Logged

Life is meaningless and everything dies.

Every man makes a god of his own desire

Crouton

Flat Earth Inspector General of High Fashion Crimes and Misdemeanors
17037
+5/-4
He who walks away from Omelas

Re: The Cooking Thread

« Reply #555 on: September 27, 2021, 03:08:36 PM »

There were two sauces involved. One which was mostly butter and brown sugar, applied to the top and then broiled until it bubbled. The other was a similar mix but it came out lighter. Unfortunately this last sauce is not the sort of thing that stays good for longer than an hour.

Soul cakes:

Don't judge me on the aesthetics. I had a trainee handle those details.

These are okay. They're basically sweet biscuits. But I can see why these aren't made anymore. There's just no beating a modern chocolate chip cookie.

Logged

Intelligentia et magnanimitas vincvnt violentiam et desperationem.
The truth behind NASA's budget

Wolvaccine

EXTRA SPICY MODE
25833
+3/-2

Re: The Cooking Thread

« Reply #556 on: September 27, 2021, 03:36:12 PM »

Is that someone's shoe on your kitchen top? I'll judge you on that

Regarding aesthetics, it is irrelevant. It all comes out the other end looking the same. A messy appearance also makes each biscuit that little bit different so each one has a different texture. Good stuff

Logged

Quote from: sokarul

what website did you use to buy your wife? Did you choose Chinese over Russian because she can't open her eyes to see you?

What animal relates to your wife?

Know your place

Colonel Gaydafi

Spam Moderator
Planar Moderator
65234
+17/-49
Queen of the gays!

Re: The Cooking Thread

« Reply #557 on: September 30, 2021, 10:35:46 AM »

I made sticky toffee pudding the other day, it was amazing. Didn't eat the whole thing in one go but was still delicious cold the next day, with the cold toffee sauce on. I went with this recipe https://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/sticky_toffee_pudding_05454

Logged

Quote from: WardoggKC130FE

If Gayer doesn't remember you, you might as well do yourself a favor and become an hero.

Quote from: Raa

there is a difference between touching a muff and putting your hand into it isn't there?

Crouton

Flat Earth Inspector General of High Fashion Crimes and Misdemeanors
17037
+5/-4
He who walks away from Omelas

Re: The Cooking Thread

« Reply #558 on: October 18, 2021, 04:57:48 PM »

A deep dish apple pie. Two different kinds of apples. Turned out well.

But my next experiment did not go well. It was a long journey but at the end of this journey was not victory but catastrophic failure. I'm speaking of course of a suet pudding with currants, otherwise known as Spotted Dick.

I started by studying this recipe which probably has the best comment section I've seen on a youtube video.

Then I decided to go with this recipe since it looked like steaming was a better option.

https://www.daringgourmet.com/traditional-spotted-dick-english-steamed-currant-pudding-with-vanilla-custard/

Here's a curious thing about this recipe which might seem innocuous to the English but is very strange here in America, beef suet instead of butter or shortening.

I had to import this from England. This isn't sold in America as far as I can tell. We use beef suet as bird feed here.

So I mixed it all together, follow the directions precisely and the result was... well... I think it's what Covid would taste like if I grew a pound of it and steamed it for 4 hours. Mrs. Crouton would not touch based on the smell. I planned to make a custard to go with it but as far as I can tell I would have needed a very high ratio of custard to pudding to obscure the taste and smell.

I was brave enough to try some. I did need to brush my teeth afterwards. The taste wouldn't go away.

I concede that I don't know much about suet so I could have easily botched this. Or maybe it's supposed to taste and smell this way. I really don't have a reference.

If I get the time I may try troubleshooting the recipe by replacing the suet with butter and seeing what happens.

Logged

Intelligentia et magnanimitas vincvnt violentiam et desperationem.
The truth behind NASA's budget

Bullwinkle

The Elder Ones
21053
+3/-1
Standard Idiot

Re: The Cooking Thread

« Reply #559 on: October 18, 2021, 06:00:46 PM »

Quote from: Crouton on December 14, 2020, 12:41:05 PM

And this is why Jura is one of my favorite people.

Jura, in light of your passionate defense of spotted dick (please, no one take that out of context) I'm going to attempt to cook my own.

you said that on purpose.

Logged

Jura-Glenlivet II

Flat Earth Inquisitor
7396
+57/-120
Will I still be perfect tomorrow?

Re: The Cooking Thread

« Reply #560 on: October 19, 2021, 01:24:11 AM »

To be completely honest Crout’s, I do not know of very many people (anyone really) that still eat Spotted Dick, it’s a bit of a war/hardtimes throwback, we were given it at school and remember it because of the name and the fact it was hard going. It pops up now and then in a “do you remember spotted dick? Here’s a recipe that attempts to make it edible.” Kind of conversation.

Beef suet? Just no.

If you want a bit of the UK, and like it sweet try Syllabub, treacle tart, figgy pudding or banoffee pie, all will give you the sugar rush you crave.

Especially try the syllabub, easy to make and just lovely, alcohol, cream, honey and lemon zest.

« Last Edit: October 19, 2021, 07:58:51 AM by Jura-Glenlivet II »

Logged

Life is meaningless and everything dies.

Every man makes a god of his own desire

Crouton

Flat Earth Inspector General of High Fashion Crimes and Misdemeanors
17037
+5/-4
He who walks away from Omelas

Re: The Cooking Thread

« Reply #561 on: October 19, 2021, 03:13:45 AM »

I KNEW IT!!!

I knew this had to be some generations long prank by the English to get the Americans to bake something that smells and tastes like a zombie's foot.

Well... seeing as that's exactly what happened then you win this round...

Logged

Intelligentia et magnanimitas vincvnt violentiam et desperationem.
The truth behind NASA's budget

Jura-Glenlivet II

Flat Earth Inquisitor
7396
+57/-120
Will I still be perfect tomorrow?

Re: The Cooking Thread

« Reply #562 on: October 19, 2021, 03:23:37 AM »

Yeah sorry, we do it with black pudding too, the Welsh do it with Laverbread and the Scots, haggis, although if you swap the liver, lungs heart and stomach of the haggis with more oats and veg it is quite nice, just not haggis.

Btw, looking closely at your picture of your gallant attempt, I hope the empty packet of garage door sensors doesn't indicate their inclusion, if so you don't have a traditional recipe which may have been part of the problem.

« Last Edit: October 19, 2021, 08:05:13 AM by Jura-Glenlivet II »

Logged

Life is meaningless and everything dies.

Every man makes a god of his own desire

JimmyTheCrab

10340
+0/-5

Re: The Cooking Thread

« Reply #563 on: October 21, 2021, 09:38:33 AM »

The only thing I use beef suet for is dumplings. Really not sure about sticking it in a pudding.

Logged

Quote from: mikeman7918

a single photon can pass through two sluts

Quote from: Chicken Fried Clucker

if Donald Trump stuck his penis in me after trying on clothes I would have that date and time burned in my head.

Space Cowgirl

MOM
Planar Moderator
52385
+100/-95
Official FE Recruiter

Re: The Cooking Thread

« Reply #564 on: October 25, 2021, 03:29:06 PM »

What good is dragon fruit? It tastes like crunchy water.

Logged

Quote from: Thork on November 27, 2012, 12:25:43 PM

I'm sorry. Am I to understand that when you have a boner you like to imagine punching the shit out of Tom Bishop? That's disgusting.

Wolvaccine

EXTRA SPICY MODE
25833
+3/-2

Re: The Cooking Thread

« Reply #565 on: October 25, 2021, 04:18:35 PM »

Quote from: Space Cowgirl on October 25, 2021, 03:29:06 PM

What good is dragon fruit? It tastes like crunchy water.

I mean it's nice crunchy water and the fruit itself looks awesome but the cost per fruit is ridiculous. For the money of 1 dragon fruit you could make a whole fruit platter from many fruits

Logged

Quote from: sokarul

what website did you use to buy your wife? Did you choose Chinese over Russian because she can't open her eyes to see you?

What animal relates to your wife?

Know your place

Bullwinkle

The Elder Ones
21053
+3/-1
Standard Idiot

Re: The Cooking Thread

« Reply #566 on: October 25, 2021, 04:25:23 PM »

Quote from: Space Cowgirl on October 25, 2021, 03:29:06 PM

What good is dragon fruit? It tastes like crunchy water.

mix in some boiled peanuts.

Logged

Space Cowgirl

MOM
Planar Moderator
52385
+100/-95
Official FE Recruiter

Re: The Cooking Thread

« Reply #567 on: November 07, 2021, 06:22:02 PM »

I think I will try to make this salad.

Grr, why do people care if you embed their cooking videos?

Logged

Quote from: Thork on November 27, 2012, 12:25:43 PM

I'm sorry. Am I to understand that when you have a boner you like to imagine punching the shit out of Tom Bishop? That's disgusting.

Space Cowgirl

MOM
Planar Moderator
52385
+100/-95
Official FE Recruiter

Re: The Cooking Thread

« Reply #568 on: December 21, 2021, 04:14:18 PM »

BOYDSTER, how do you make carnitas?

Logged

Quote from: Thork on November 27, 2012, 12:25:43 PM

I'm sorry. Am I to understand that when you have a boner you like to imagine punching the shit out of Tom Bishop? That's disgusting.

boydster

Assistant to the Regional Manager
17774
+6/-4

Re: The Cooking Thread

« Reply #569 on: December 21, 2021, 05:28:30 PM »

I'll be the first to admit, I'm not in a place where I'm completely happy with my carnitas yet. But they did come out passable. This was my first attempt, so I found this recipe here and made it basically exactly as written.

Some notes:
- You can hold back on the cumin a bit, a tablespoon was a bit heavy-handed. I mean, if you grew up having tacos made with Old El Paso taco seasoning, you'll be right at home, but it's really too much
- Between the coke, OJ, and lime juice, it's a lot of sugar. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's a flavor you need to plan ahead for and balance out, because the recipe I linked before does not balance it out particularly well. Especially if you made the decision to reduce the liquids left over after you shred the pork and use those liquids as a way to boost the flavor.
- Get the Mexican oregano if you can. I didn't. It was obvious. There's a clear difference between "regular" oregano and Mexican oregano.

Next time I make this, I'm going to replace some of the liquids with lard so it's a bit more traditional. I'm also going heavier on the garlic and herbs. And heat. It needs a little bit of heat. I added some cayenne, not enough though, and I think some jalapeno would be better. And I'm swapping the pepper out for white pepper next time for sure.

Last thing: Don't skip the crisping step. Spread the shredded pork out on a baking sheet and get the broiler ripping, then let it crisp up for a few minutes.

Logged