The Papa Legba Replacement Thread

Hi!
I believe the world is flat, I'm ambivalent about the possibility of space travel, and I know that rockets would definitely work in vacuum. Papa Legba is just very irritating for all involved. A lot of you seem to enjoy his abuse though, so in the interests of boring our local Loa, please come here for all your needs that involve arguing with an intentionally obtuse person making terrible arguments, having the problems explained,and refusing to listen to a word you say.
Why you enjoy that, I don't know.

Thread rules
If the original Papa posts, no acknowledging, no responding. Ideally block him, let him shout at the empty air.
Feel free to join in the Papa-ness: arguing in the Legba style.
No good arguments allowed. Good counter-arguments are encouraged, but no good arguments must be made by the Legbas.

Argue for FE or RE, it doesn't matter. This is just a thread for people to get their Legba fix without feeding our angry Loa.

To start off, here's a nice terrible argument for you all:

*ahem*

Orbital velocity is 8km/s! The only way to stay in orbit is to move that fast!!

The moon is travelling at 1km/s according to NASA shills!!

LOL!

The moon can't be in orbit! How's it staying up there huh?!

LMFAO!!!

*washes mouth*
I hope this impression was passable. have fun all!

Orbital velocity is 8km/s! The only way to stay in orbit is to move that fast!!

The moon is travelling at 1km/s according to NASA shills!!

The NASA shills also expect us to believe that orbital velocity depends on the distance from the center of mass of an object resulting in the counter-intuitive situation where higher orbits are actually slower than lower orbits. 

Here is the relevant equation:

Where,
G is gravitational constant,
M is the mass of the body at center,
R is radius of orbit.

Here is the requisite Wiki disinformation:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orbital_speed

What the Th*rk are these guys smoking?

Say not to NASA drugs.

Quote from: FEScientist on September 15, 2015, 05:37:15 PM

Orbital velocity is 8km/s! The only way to stay in orbit is to move that fast!!

The moon is travelling at 1km/s according to NASA shills!!

The NASA shills also expect us to believe that orbital velocity depends on the distance from the center of mass of an object resulting in the counter-intuitive situation where higher orbits are actually slower than lower orbits. 

Here is the relevant equation:

Quote from: http://formulas.tutorvista.com/physics/orbital-velocity-formula.html

Where,
G is gravitational constant,
M is the mass of the body at center,
R is radius of orbit.

Here is the requisite Wiki disinformation:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orbital_speed

What the Th*rk are these guys smoking?

Say not to NASA drugs.

LOL!

They can't even agree of what orbital velocity is!

It changes every time you ask them!!

NASA shills.