The Conclusive Categorical Conspiracy Compendium

Quote from: Saddam Hussein on August 19, 2008, 06:37:03 PM

Not all astronauts would need to be bribed, probably.

oh right they just put them in a box and shake it a bit and say, hey, you're in space!  and they tie fishing line to their ankles and dangle them in the air to trick them into thinking they are weightless.  Or does a wizard come and cast the weightlessness spell on the muggle astronauts and trick them?

Muggium, thinkis inspaceium! 

Kind of, but it would be a little more sophisticated and hi-tech than that.

Quote from: lolz at trollz on August 20, 2008, 06:15:06 AM

Quote from: Saddam Hussein on August 19, 2008, 06:37:03 PM

Not all astronauts would need to be bribed, probably.

oh right they just put them in a box and shake it a bit and say, hey, you're in space!  and they tie fishing line to their ankles and dangle them in the air to trick them into thinking they are weightless.  Or does a wizard come and cast the weightlessness spell on the muggle astronauts and trick them?

Muggium, thinkis inspaceium! 

Kind of, but it would be a little more sophisticated and hi-tech than that.

LOL!

And how do they fake microgravity? 

if this conspiracy was so inbeded into the governement that they were willing to spend millions of pounds to cover it up, and kill people, why would they let this site stay alive? And let you FE'rs live? Surely you would've been killed by now?

if this conspiracy was so inbeded into the governement that they were willing to spend millions of pounds to cover it up, and kill people, why would they let this site stay alive? And let you FE'rs live? Surely you would've been killed by now?

This is covered in the FAQ.

no it isn't.

It sure is.  I noticed it while looking at the FAQ yesterday.

it says that shutting down this site would be proof of the existence of the flat world. But, killing anyone who went near the edge of the planet would be too. People would find out. If they were willing to put some much money into bribing people, they could easily secure the funds to shut down this website, delete all history of it, and silence anyone who remembered anything on it.

it says that shutting down this site would be proof of the existence of the flat world. But, killing anyone who went near the edge of the planet would be too. People would find out. If they were willing to put some much money into bribing people, they could easily secure the funds to shut down this website, delete all history of it, and silence anyone who remembered anything on it.

I lose sleep at night worrying that just such a thing might happen some day.  But in the name of honest scientific inquiry I bravely soldier on.

I honestly don't know if you are being sarcastic, just out of curiocity, are you?

A little.  I get worked up when people challenge my beliefs.

do you never challenge anyone's beliefs? I don't believe it is right to force your views on anyone else, but I believe healthy debate is perfectly reasonable and important to furthering society.

I agree.  That's why this site exists.

then why is nearly all questions/debate met with 'look at the FAQ' or a heavy dose of sarcasm. Do you really fear for your life for your beliefs? Have you know anyone who shares your beliefs in the planet suddenly disapear?

I feel I've answered your questions adequately.  The fact is the government sees us as a bunch of crackpots so why shut it down?  Further, nearly everybody who comes here sees us as a bunch of crackpots so what should worry them about our existence?  If anything this website helps them out, because people like you are positive that if such a conspiracy existed then this website wouldn't.

Further, it's not technically the government who runs the Conspiracy.  It's NASA and the other world's space programs.  They are duping the government to get their hands on their funding.  How else would a Conspiracy such as this be profitable?

ok ok, I hear what you are saying and understand. With such knowledge and belief that you have, do you not want to know more? I know that the world is round, and that if you go far enough east on the map, you'll magicaly appear on the west. You believe that the world is flat, and if you go far enough east on the map . . . what? Do you not want to know more about our world rather then just NOT believe what people tell you. If I was you, I would be an explorer, or at very least, someone with enough evidence to get some kind of a bribe out of NASA haha!

ok ok, I hear what you are saying and understand. With such knowledge and belief that you have, do you not want to know more? I know that the world is round, and that if you go far enough east on the map, you'll magicaly appear on the west. You believe that the world is flat, and if you go far enough east on the map . . . what? Do you not want to know more about our world rather then just NOT believe what people tell you. If I was you, I would be an explorer, or at very least, someone with enough evidence to get some kind of a bribe out of NASA haha!

Please read the FAQ.

I have, which part are you refering it?

The part that addresses the question you just asked.

I was talking about the personal section, about you. Why are you not more of an activist on this topic? If I suddenly found proof and believed proof that there is no such thing as noise, tomorrow, I would be straight out there trying to make money from it, or understand it better.

I was talking about the personal section, about you. Why are you not more of an activist on this topic? If I suddenly found proof and believed proof that there is no such thing as noise, tomorrow, I would be straight out there trying to make money from it, or understand it better.

I confess I don't entirely understand this post, but the fact is that I really don't care whether other people choose to believe it or not.  I know better than to think I can overturn a lifetime of dogma.  It's like trying to convince a Christian that there's no rational reason to believe that Jesus wasn't the son of God.

you raise a valid point, but I regularly do try to convince Christians that Jesus was not the son of God.

I love to argue about it, but I know better than to think that it'll end up meaning anything. 

Rr332211, gravity has nothing to do with how fast Earth is moving, it all depends on Earth's acceleration. If you jump up into the air, the gap between you and the ground will close at an increasing rate of 9.8m/s^2. Every time you jump. No matter how many times you jump.

Let me simplify the physics for you with a simple example. Let's say you're in a car. The car is still. Now it starts moving. You feel a slight force pushing your head back against the headrest. It accelerates a bit. The force gets stronger. Let's skip forward a bit. Say it's a sports car or you're on a highway. You're moving really fast. Rediculously fast. There must be a rocket strapped to the back of the car. You're having a really hard time pulling your head forward. The skin on your face is stretching backward.

This is due to the car's acceleration. Objects resist acceleration. It's what they do. That's the whole reason for momentum and g-forces during high-speed motion, which is what I'm talking about. Therefore, on an upwardly accelerating surface, not only would falling speeds be affected by the constantly increasing speed, but all other effects of the g-forces would also change. The g-force would eventually become so strong that human bodies would be crushed by it. Have you felt yourself and everything around you getting heavier as time progresses? Thank you.

Who DOES Need to Know:
NASA -- Okay, so the top three (at most) need to know, we'll say. These are the guys who actually are controlling the conspiracy, and maybe some of the profit is divided amongst them, but they don't need to be bribed to shut their mouths, and thus have no leverage amongst the others. If we say about three other people in NASA know about it, who are helping with image editing, video editing, and general coverage, but working closely with the top three.
RASA -- The Russians are just about equal if not more active in space exploration as the US, so we'll say these guys have six people helping out with the conspiracy as well. As a matter of fact, tag one more on, just because I'm generous. That leaves us with thirteen people.
China -- Yes, in 2003, China became the third country to independently send a manned spaceship into outer space. However, their space program isn't all that big. As a (very) liberal estimate, we'll say they need about three people. But why don't we tag on one more just to make sure I'm not cheating. That leaves us with seventeen people from the space exploration crews that need to know.

GPS Manufacturers -- I'm going to say they only need one person for this job. There's not really much to do. Machines make most of the chips, and I doubt all of the bosses of the companies need to even bother. They just need to have one guy saying, "Yup, that's right." This guy could even be one of the NASA or RASA members, honestly, but I'm being nice. This rings up to a comprehensive total of eighteen people.

Public Relations People -- NASA or RASA conspirators could fill this role, too, but again, generosity has the better of me, and I'm going to say that the conspiracy hires people to do this, too, since the guys in the space exploration teams are filled with a bunch of pale, pimply white guys, and therefore aren't good at convincing people of the truth. We'll say they need a couple of these guys, bringing the total up to a whopping twenty people.

People Who Have "Been In Space" -- Yes, they need astronauts saying, "Hey! I was up there!" But they're barely part of the conspiracy, they're just people who have a little bit of leverage, and therefore need a bit of bribing. We'll count them as half-people for this count, since they don't really count as conspirators. So, if we have somewhere around fifty people that have "been in space," that means that it counts for about twenty-five conspirators, therefore bringing our total to forty-five which is not as large as is commonly described.

Who Does NOT Need To Know:

PotUS -- Why would the president need to know? All he knows is that he's giving money to what he thinks is a space exploration team, and then he sees exactly what everyone in the world sees on TV. He doesn't ever need to suspect a damned thing.

Members of Space Teams -- They see exactly what we see as well, but they're sitting on the ground looking at it "Live." That doesn't mean that they know that the people are actually in space, but they can make a really convincing argument towards it, perhaps.

Conclusive Mathematics:

Basically, I'm going to assume that every single person on my list wants to get paid so that they won't talk about the conspiracy. They're going to want a lot of it, too, most likely. Probably enough so that they won't have to work for the rest of their lives? Well, how's about something like one million dollars per year, plus one million in advance. That's far better than most jobs can fetch, and all they have to do is shut up. Minus the top five or so, since they are the runners of the organization.
That brings us to 40 x 1,000,000. Forty million dollars plus forty million every year? Sure, it's plenty of cash, but NASA receives so much more money than that from just governmental funds, and while I don't know much about Russian space teams, I'm sure they do, too. They can easily pay for this, and the undernoted requirements for money, without even breaking a sweat; in fact, they'll be probably pulling a profit, just from the government giving them cash.


Maintenance:

There doesn't need to be all that much maintenance, besides damage control. The space exploration programs have maintenance funds from their respective governments, so they're all self-sufficient without having to spend excess money on maintaining the conspiracy (seeing as all the cash they're not spending on research can be spent on the conspiracy).
The only reason extra money might need to be poured into the conspiracy would be for damage control. If we say that this would cost somewhere around five million per year, that still only leaves us with forty-five million per year.

*UPDATED*
Ice Wall Guarding:


Now, I'm going to take this, and say that we need about one-thousand men guarding the wall, again with two shifts each....

Ok... sounds Good 2000 at 100000 a year thats what 200million + the 45 original 245million
but how about the FAQ's introduction to this

Q: "How come the travel time by air from South America to New Zealand, via the polar route, is SHORTER than the travel time going North first and then South again?"

A: (Presumed answer: The airline pilots are misled by their GPS, or are deliberately conspiring to make it appear that the flights take different times)

the FAA says there are 612,000 pilots.... lets assume [extrordinarily generous assumption] only half are allowed to fly over international waters thats still 306000.... That is 10 Shea Stadiums worth of conspirators.... ok screw that number most probably have small planes lets reduce it even further....HALF AGAIN.. ok so we are clear I'm going to assume that the entire population of airline pilots lives in the US and that only one in every 4 pilots has license to cross international borders... is this true? by no stretch of the imagination, but hey, im being generous.. it still adds 153000 people... EVEN if they were not actively conspiring they would notice that land masses don't line up with their GPS...so unless they were complete Morons... so I'll drop 1000 of them as morons... thats another 152000 but let's assume that they don't get the fat check the big-wigs get, they get an extra 100k a year like the soldiers, let's see *quackulations*  ok my quackulator says it tuns out to 15.2 BILLION....WOW... this is kinda big budget here that's not even including the original 245 million... but that only inflates it to 15.4..... How do you explain that?

This was posted under reasons for the conspiracy

The Conclusive Categorical Conspiracy Compendium
Embarrassment:
So, the government messed up at a really bad time to mess up, and they've been pooling all of the already-angry tax-payers' money into research that eventually led to a less-than-exciting discovery: The Earth is flat. Everyone was wrong. Millions (probably billions) of dollars of money that didn't really belong to them had been basically tossed down the drain for research of the round Earth, when, in fact it was flat. So, instead of angering people and possibly even sparking a revolt of some sort, they made up some stuff. And you know how lies tend to roll and get bigger and bigger until they're inescapable? I'd say a worldwide conspiracy is that concept...to the max.

Are you kidding me?  if they discovered the earth was flat that would be REMARKABLE... yes i used caps, it would literally VOID every single physics book beyond the third grade level there would need to be a Re-thinking of all of our accepted theories,  People have thought the earth was round since um..I don't feel like wikipedia-ing it, but I think Aristotle..(NO not columbus... in fact 1491 was the year a globe became standard for the spanish Navy)  so they they wouldn't have come back from space and said "Well.. it's flat"  there would have been a "Holy shit what the fuck!, start re-writing all our research for this shit"  and how would that re-search be wasted? it was all tested, it would just lead to different conclusions, so it wouldn't cost that much... it would actually make a ton of money for physics professors.  Plus, during the space Race Russia was trying to embarass us, so when the first man in space (russian) went up wouldn't he have come back and said something along the lines of "Poor quality capitalism...still think earth is round like ball"

That was just one theory.  They probably just want money.

I wolud like to know what proof does Dioptimus Drime have on this conspiracy. I mean he has listed motives but not a single proof. I could say that Dioptimus Drime probably likes money and I know that you can make lot of money on dealing drugs so have I proved that Dioptimus Drime is a drug dealer?

That was just one theory.  They probably just want money.

O, I know im not saying I destroyed the whole argument.... just that piece is so very counter intuitive. I do try to not be that guy who just says he is right, but if you think about it... it's possible, but if you think about it beyond face level it would have to be so far reaching that almost literally the only people not involved would be the ones fighting it.


Just a few things about the conspiracy I still don't get I am open to any responses to these, & i will respond to the sensible ones.

Basically the same problem I have with all conspiracies is that after the public knows the face of it, it becomes too hard to maintain, just a couple examples.

how do they make the money?.... b/c NASA loses money year after year.   and I don't see how collecting taxes for things that don't actually happen does anything but pool money.

What do janitors at NASA do all day?  Having a nothing job is cool, I know (i used to be a pot dealer in college) but it will drive you nuts if you actually just don't do anything. So what about the computer programmers, the lunchroom workers, the physicians, pool cleaners, mechanics, engineers, basically all the people who maintain the equipment that NASA says goes or went into space. And if they don't exist why hasn't anyone noticed it? I mean Orlando is kind of a big place, but I think if you lived there and had never met anyone who had known anyone who had a low-level job there... something would be up...

 so the head of NASA needs to know this.... how many heads have there been? what did they tell their wives, their hookers, their ex-girlfreinds, jilted secretaries? people love hate more than money so anyone who is mad at the current administration could easily come forward, and show how they've been lying at the cost of their bribe.   how many times have they been drunk?  are any of them old enough to be senile? The stuff in your head comes out voluntarily no matter how hard you try to keep it a secret.

If the Earth is flat, then why do you see the sail of a ship before the ship?

/Theory debunked.

If the Earth is flat, then why do you see the sail of a ship before the ship?

/Theory debunked.

Read Earth Not a Globe.