now. I know some of you nay sayers want to believe what your third grade teachers told you about the world being round, but this is simply not true. I have the best evidence of all to prove the world is flat. That evidence is a story, a story of personal triumph, and many hilarious sexual encounters.
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thats me, before the accident... i was young and ambitious with my black sunglasses. I thought I was on top of the world, which is impossible because the world is perfectly flat, without any peaks. anyway i was driving down the street when a deer jumped out in front of me, i slammed on my breaks, but it was too late. i hit the deer and was launched out my windshield. boy was i embarressed! my face looked like this :oops: !!! had the world been a circular body, i could have been in trouble. lucky for me the world is flat and gravity doesnt exist, so i floated my way to a pillow factory.
i fell asleep on the soft pillows, but was awoken with a rattle. it felt like the earth was caving in below me. sure enough it was! see, when God was making the earth he forgot that by making it flat and thin it could not support very much weight. the factory was too heavy and it crushed the thin earthly plane. "oh no," i said to myself. however i am much too crafty to let a pillow factory kill me. using a sewing kit, and several pillows i made myself a space raft. i started to plummit down down down and away i went. 5 minutes later i foudn myself in hell. where all the assholes who thought the earth was round were having hilarious sexual encounters with flat women. that was their ironic punishment.