I tend to refer to myself as "pansexual" more often than not, but I used to refer to myself as bi and have definitely experienced the stigma you refer to. Many people, even in the LGBT community, seem to think there's a gay/straight 'switch' that is either one-or-the other. I eventually decided that I just like who I like, and that I have no need of labels. I'm attracted to people, not parts. I happened to end up with a female, but that doesn't make me a lesbian, because gender doesn't matter to me and labels are dumb. Love is love.
I'm terribly sorry to hear that you feel you can't be honest with the people around you. Maybe making a point of losing the label would make it easier for you. Feel free to PM me if you need a confidant or supportive ear.
Exactly! People don't seem to realize sexuality is much more complex than that. And thank you, I will if I need it, which I inevitably will. :]
i've never been able to figure this out. it always seemed to me that gay people would be likelier to have more sensitivity to bisexuality than otherwise, due to their own history of facing prejudice, but it seems not always to be the case.
That's what baffles me about it. They know what it's like, then they turn around and treat others exactly how they were treated.
I'm really sorry you feel like you can't come out to your family. I hope one day you at least get to a point in your life when you have a more take it or leave it attitude and just stand up for the person you are, regardless what your family thinks. My dad is an extremely conservative person and we disagree on absolutely everything. It's extremely aggravating when they think my point of view is naive and that I'll just grow out of it and become a religious, conservative American. So I definitely clash with my dad and stepmom, but if they don't approve of the person I am then they can just stop inviting me to their place.
I know it's not a clash over sexuality, but it's the most similar experience I have. At the end of the day, you just have to be who you are. If your friends and family can't accept you then you'll just have to find people who do.
Aww, thanks. Part of me really wants to take that approach, but I'm so terrified of disappointing people, and of hurting anyone. I spend a lot of time thinking about what everyone would think of they knew everything I don't tell them. I'm so scared to live my life how I want to. I don't really know how to do it. Seeing the disappointment or worse would just kill me.
Are you able/willing to move far away if given the opportunity?
If I had the money, I might consider it. I'd be terrified, but it would be a lot easier. I actually want to head to Australia, though I'd love to live in Sweden as well.
As for Supertails, I don't think you are bisexual. I think you are asexual. You aren't really interested in sex at all. You have an immensely low sex drive. And so I suspect you have a hormone deficiency or live in an environmentally damaged area with poisons in the air/water/food.
If your sex drive were to rise and you were actually interested in screwing someone, then your preference would come out. At the moment you like both sexes equally as there isn't any difference to you. You haven't got that sex drive and don't know any different. Normally I wouldn't say this to anyone, but try some viagra. Failing that, take some steroids. Just a small dose to see if that sparks your interest.
It's not necessarily as you think. I know I'm attracted to both genders, physically and emotionally, it's just that I care about the emotional part a lot more than I do the sex part. It still appeals to me (though I did wonder if I was asexual for a while, as well), it's just that it appeals to me with somebody that I love. I don't want to have it casually, I'd love to just have it with one person my whole life, my first and last. So it's not that I'm not interested in sex, it's just that I have really strict policies for it, or something?
It's bizarre. I spend a lot of time in and around the LGBT community and I've heard gay men dismissing bisexuals as some straights dismiss gays. Then again in my experience they have it easy when compared against trans and genderqueer people.
My guess is that one tends to spend so long building a narrative and an identity that if you're similar but reject the narrative then it's because you're doing it wrong not because the narrative is wrong.
Chin up Supes :-) remember you have allies on all sides of the rainbow.
Being trans is one of the hardest things to be, but I'm glad we're approaching some sort of equality for that lately as well. And your hypothesis sounds plausible, i could see that. Far too many people think that things happen the way it happened to them, so they know how it all works.
And once again, thanks a ton. You're awesome. :]
What part of the world do you live in Snupes?
Thork got it right. It's weird, because around here is generally (as in during elections) liberal, as far as I can tell, but the specific place I'm in is incredibly, incredibly conservative. I don't know how I managed that bad luck.