A Friendly Chat

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Lorddave

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Re: A Friendly Chat
« Reply #2250 on: August 22, 2013, 02:02:25 PM »
Nobody cares, Thork. So I got a job as an IT specialist at a small medical company. When nothing needs to be fixed, I'll be filling the role of pharmaceutical technician. So I'm basically a doctor now and I expect everyone to address me as such.

So you basically got The Knowledge's job?  Well done.
I thought The Knowledge was a simple CAT scan machine technician?
You have been ignored for common interest of mankind.

I am a terrible person and I am a typical Blowhard Liberal for being wrong about Bom.

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rooster

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Re: A Friendly Chat
« Reply #2251 on: August 22, 2013, 02:17:51 PM »
Nobody cares, Thork. So I got a job as an IT specialist at a small medical company. When nothing needs to be fixed, I'll be filling the role of pharmaceutical technician. So I'm basically a doctor now and I expect everyone to address me as such.

So you basically got The Knowledge's job?  Well done.
I thought The Knowledge was a simple CAT scan machine technician?
Like Marie from Breaking Bad.

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Lorddave

  • 18477
Re: A Friendly Chat
« Reply #2252 on: August 22, 2013, 02:19:26 PM »
Nobody cares, Thork. So I got a job as an IT specialist at a small medical company. When nothing needs to be fixed, I'll be filling the role of pharmaceutical technician. So I'm basically a doctor now and I expect everyone to address me as such.

So you basically got The Knowledge's job?  Well done.
I thought The Knowledge was a simple CAT scan machine technician?
Like Marie from Breaking Bad.
*doesn't watch breaking bad*
You have been ignored for common interest of mankind.

I am a terrible person and I am a typical Blowhard Liberal for being wrong about Bom.

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Thork

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Re: A Friendly Chat
« Reply #2253 on: August 22, 2013, 03:40:34 PM »
And for my next interview, they want me to deliver a powerpoint presentation. So now I have to spend time making one.  :(

There are several things I hate about powerpoint.

  • Bullet points.
  • The fact that everyone has seen all the animations and templates before.
  • Clip art.
  • Rehearsal of what to say.
I'm thinking of doing it in keynote as its less likely they have worked through all the animations and transitions for that, because its Mac and its a bit quicker to knock something together. I could then also wander about the room changing the slides with my iPhone for extra business-douche points.

They haven't given me the topic yet, so I can't get an early start on it and make something awesome. So its gonna look like every other piece of shit pp presentation.

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Junker

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Re: A Friendly Chat
« Reply #2254 on: August 22, 2013, 03:44:32 PM »
Nobody cares, Thork. So I got a job as an IT specialist at a small medical company. When nothing needs to be fixed, I'll be filling the role of pharmaceutical technician. So I'm basically a doctor now and I expect everyone to address me as such.

So you basically got The Knowledge's job?  Well done.
I thought The Knowledge was a simple CAT scan machine technician?
Technologist is the proper term.


And for my next interview, they want me to deliver a powerpoint presentation.

Quote from: Steve Jobs
People who know what they’re talking about don’t need PowerPoint.

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Thork

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Re: A Friendly Chat
« Reply #2255 on: August 22, 2013, 03:49:34 PM »
And for my next interview, they want me to deliver a powerpoint presentation.

Quote from: Steve Jobs
People who know what they’re talking about don’t need PowerPoint.

Man on telephone: "You will need to give a 5-10 minute PowerPoint presentation as part of your next interview."

The aim of the interview is not to find out if I know what I'm talking about. Its to find out if I can send their customers to sleep by subjecting them to 21st century beige.

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Junker

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Re: A Friendly Chat
« Reply #2256 on: August 22, 2013, 03:51:54 PM »
Man on telephone: "You will need to give a 5-10 minute PowerPoint presentation as part of your next interview."

The aim of the interview is not to find out if I know what I'm talking about. Its to find out if I can send their customers to sleep by subjecting them to 21st century beige.

I see.  You could just forge the customers signatures on a bunch of POs and skip a step.  But if you didn't use PowerPoint or the like, you could show that you are able to deliver a more powerful message, assuming you can remember all of the material.

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hoppy

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Re: A Friendly Chat
« Reply #2257 on: August 22, 2013, 03:52:44 PM »
And to see if you're techno geek enough to do the very basics  ::)
« Last Edit: August 22, 2013, 05:21:44 PM by hoppy »
God is real.                                         
http://www.scribd.com/doc/9665708/Flat-Earth-Bible-02-of-10-The-Flat-Earth

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Thork

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Re: A Friendly Chat
« Reply #2258 on: August 22, 2013, 03:56:33 PM »
But if you didn't use PowerPoint or the like, you could show that you are able to deliver a more powerful message, assuming you can remember all of the material.

If I don't use powerpoint, I have failed to adhere to the strict rules of this tedious game. It is like me entering an egg and spoon race and you telling me that I could run faster if I just put the egg in my other hand.

I know this, but I'm not trying to win an egg and spoon race. I'm trying to be a business douche. I need to dress like a business douche. Talk like a business douche. And make a powerpoint presentation like a business douche. I didn't make the rules. I'd be happy living in a cave and clubbing hot ladies over the head whenever I got horny. But I was born 40,000 years too late and so powerpoint it myst be.

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Junker

  • 3926
Re: A Friendly Chat
« Reply #2259 on: August 22, 2013, 03:58:20 PM »
But if you didn't use PowerPoint or the like, you could show that you are able to deliver a more powerful message, assuming you can remember all of the material.

If I don't use powerpoint, I have failed to adhere to the strict rules of this tedious game. It is like me entering an egg and spoon race and you telling me that I could run faster if I just put the egg in my other hand.

I know this, but I'm not trying to win an egg and spoon race. I'm trying to be a business douche. I need to dress like a business douche. Talk like a business douche. And make a powerpoint presentation like a business douche. I didn't make the rules. I'd be happy living in a cave and clubbing hot ladies over the head whenever I got horny. But I was born 40,000 years too late and so powerpoint it myst be.

And so it must be.  Also, this is the longest interview process I have ever heard anyone having to go through.

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Thork

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Re: A Friendly Chat
« Reply #2260 on: August 22, 2013, 04:06:05 PM »
But if you didn't use PowerPoint or the like, you could show that you are able to deliver a more powerful message, assuming you can remember all of the material.

If I don't use powerpoint, I have failed to adhere to the strict rules of this tedious game. It is like me entering an egg and spoon race and you telling me that I could run faster if I just put the egg in my other hand.

I know this, but I'm not trying to win an egg and spoon race. I'm trying to be a business douche. I need to dress like a business douche. Talk like a business douche. And make a powerpoint presentation like a business douche. I didn't make the rules. I'd be happy living in a cave and clubbing hot ladies over the head whenever I got horny. But I was born 40,000 years too late and so powerpoint it myst be.

And so it must be.  Also, this is the longest interview process I have ever heard anyone having to go through.
Its going on forever. We are shedding candidates all over the place, but still it goes on. Next interview is Sept 10th. Then a week later a trip to Georgia for the final two candidates and then they pick one person. I've got to be honest, if I'm in that final two and I'm not the person they pick, I'm going to feel pretty inconvenienced have rattled up 13,000km + a train trip to London, + a powerpoint Presentation, + 4 hours of phone calls and 1 hour of interview + e-mails + filling in an application form (why they want me to do that now I have no idea). the offer of employment has to be made before the end of September in order that the newly employed bod is able to fly to LA for some convention a week later to press some flesh.

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Parsifal

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Re: A Friendly Chat
« Reply #2261 on: August 22, 2013, 04:07:45 PM »
Thork, if you hate the requirements for this job so much, why are you applying?
I'm going to side with the white supremacists.

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Thork

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Re: A Friendly Chat
« Reply #2262 on: August 22, 2013, 04:09:28 PM »
Thork, if you hate the requirements for this job so much, why are you applying?
I hate the interview process. Not the job. The job is flying around the world talking to people and being paid lots. What is not to like?

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Ocius

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Re: A Friendly Chat
« Reply #2263 on: August 22, 2013, 04:09:44 PM »
I must have done a dozen PowerPoint presentations in school. And if you're going to be a business douche, you'd better get used to it right quick. Instead of bitching, you could be coming up with a nice, clean layout.

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Thork

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Re: A Friendly Chat
« Reply #2264 on: August 22, 2013, 04:11:17 PM »
I must have done a dozen PowerPoint presentations in school. And if you're going to be a business douche, you'd better get used to it right quick. Instead of bitching, you could be coming up with a nice, clean layout.

They haven't given me the topic yet, so I can't get an early start on it and make something awesome. So its gonna look like every other piece of shit pp presentation.

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Parsifal

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Re: A Friendly Chat
« Reply #2265 on: August 22, 2013, 04:12:36 PM »
I hate the interview process. Not the job. The job is flying around the world talking to people and being paid lots. What is not to like?

How can you hate the interview process but not the job? That implies they are interviewing for skills that aren't used in the job, which makes no sense.
I'm going to side with the white supremacists.

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Junker

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Re: A Friendly Chat
« Reply #2266 on: August 22, 2013, 04:14:06 PM »
Best of luck.  I am not far from LA.  If you get it and end up there, I will buy you a pint to celebrate and let bygones be bygones.

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Thork

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Re: A Friendly Chat
« Reply #2267 on: August 22, 2013, 04:17:15 PM »
I hate the interview process. Not the job. The job is flying around the world talking to people and being paid lots. What is not to like?

How can you hate the interview process but not the job? That implies they are interviewing for skills that aren't used in the job, which makes no sense.
The job is not giving examples of a time when I did something and how I overcame the obstacles that arose. but most of all, I'm not being paid for any of this. Its a lot of time to put in to get nothing out of it. This is why I don't want to make it to the final two if I'm not going to get the job. Imagine giving up a few days to fly half way around the world for a meet and greet ... for free.

Best of luck.  I am not far from LA.  If you get it and end up there, I will buy you a pint to celebrate and let bygones be bygones.
I would end up doing something terrible. Drenched in your blood and crouched over your flinching body I'd be screaming "Its flat, see how fucking flat it is! Say its round now I've torn your jaw off, say its round you piece of shit noob!"  >o<

Its probably best we don't meet just yet. I'm not ready.

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Ocius

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Re: A Friendly Chat
« Reply #2268 on: August 22, 2013, 04:17:59 PM »
I must have done a dozen PowerPoint presentations in school. And if you're going to be a business douche, you'd better get used to it right quick. Instead of bitching, you could be coming up with a nice, clean layout.

They haven't given me the topic yet, so I can't get an early start on it and make something awesome. So its gonna look like every other piece of shit pp presentation.

Obviously they want to see how you handle yourself in front of other business douches and to see if you can make a proper sales pitch. Notice I said "layout" and not content. Although it may be a good idea to create a mock presentation beforehand, outlining a product or service you don't know much about and thinking of compelling reasons someone would need it.

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rooster

  • 5669
Re: A Friendly Chat
« Reply #2269 on: August 22, 2013, 04:19:16 PM »
If Thork makes it to GA he will be very close to me. This is actually a tad frightening.

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Junker

  • 3926
Re: A Friendly Chat
« Reply #2270 on: August 22, 2013, 04:20:08 PM »
I would end up doing something terrible. Drenched in your blood and crouched over your flinching body I'd be screaming "Its flat, see how fucking flat it is! Say its round now I've torn your jaw off, say its round you piece of shit noob!"  >o<

Its probably best we don't meet just yet. I'm not ready.

After one pint?  I am curious to see how things go when you take a woman out for a date...

Also, I know the Earth is flat.  I am not sure why that would come up as a topic.

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Thork

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Re: A Friendly Chat
« Reply #2271 on: August 22, 2013, 04:22:13 PM »
If Thork makes it to GA he will be very close to me. This is actually a tad frightening.
I won't tear your jaw off.  :-\


I would end up doing something terrible. Drenched in your blood and crouched over your flinching body I'd be screaming "Its flat, see how fucking flat it is! Say its round now I've torn your jaw off, say its round you piece of shit noob!"  >o<

Its probably best we don't meet just yet. I'm not ready.

After one pint?  I am curious to see how things go when you take a woman out for a date...

Also, I know the Earth is flat.  I am not sure why that would come up as a topic.
I'll be high on beta-blockers and airline sweeties. You won't want to be anywhere near me.

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Junker

  • 3926
Re: A Friendly Chat
« Reply #2272 on: August 22, 2013, 04:23:43 PM »
I'll be high on beta-blockers and airline sweeties. You won't want to be anywhere near me.

I am taller, have bigger guns, and weigh more stone(s?).  It would be a fun night, and not in a homosexual sort of way.

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Thork

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Re: A Friendly Chat
« Reply #2273 on: August 22, 2013, 04:26:14 PM »
I am taller, have bigger guns, and weigh more stone(s?).

I am smarter than you.
I have more money than you.
I have more friends than you.
My family line makes your look like a line of homeless people.
You will never be as great as I am and will be.
You can't even touch me.

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Junker

  • 3926
Re: A Friendly Chat
« Reply #2274 on: August 22, 2013, 04:28:29 PM »
I am taller, have bigger guns, and weigh more stone(s?).

I am smarter than you.  False.
I have more money than you.  False.
I have more friends than you. Maybe?
My family line makes your look like a line of homeless people.  Probably.
You will never be as great as I am and will be. Gay.
You can't even touch me.  Also gay.

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Ocius

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Re: A Friendly Chat
« Reply #2275 on: August 22, 2013, 04:32:26 PM »
Oh Junker.

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Junker

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Re: A Friendly Chat
« Reply #2276 on: August 22, 2013, 04:33:52 PM »
Oh Junker.

Yeah, I know. Just really, really bored.

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Lorddave

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Re: A Friendly Chat
« Reply #2277 on: August 22, 2013, 04:58:15 PM »
Power Point key points:
1. Don't have giant paragraphs of text in a slide.  No one reads them.
2. Talk about the slide, not read what's off it.
3. Keep animations to a minimum and don't use that flashy "star in" or "wizz around" crap.
You have been ignored for common interest of mankind.

I am a terrible person and I am a typical Blowhard Liberal for being wrong about Bom.

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Son of Orospu

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Re: A Friendly Chat
« Reply #2278 on: August 22, 2013, 05:00:33 PM »
What part of GA are you going to?  Maybe I could recommend a restaurant or where to get a hooker or something.

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Parsifal

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Re: A Friendly Chat
« Reply #2279 on: August 22, 2013, 05:02:39 PM »
The job is not giving examples of a time when I did something and how I overcame the obstacles that arose. but most of all, I'm not being paid for any of this. Its a lot of time to put in to get nothing out of it. This is why I don't want to make it to the final two if I'm not going to get the job. Imagine giving up a few days to fly half way around the world for a meet and greet ... for free.

Irrelevant.

Where I work, we've had people who were rejected thank us publicly for the interview experience. You know why? Because it's an awesome place to work, and the interview process is designed to be just as challenging and stimulating as the job itself. People who would enjoy doing my job enjoy interviewing for it.

If you're not enjoying your interview, you won't enjoy the job. Trust me.
I'm going to side with the white supremacists.