Attack your lady harder

That's what I was greeted with when I opened my inbox today. A viagra advert entitled "Attack your lady harder". wtf? Ignoring the fact that the e-mail was from me to me (that really pisses me off when they do that), who on earth is that targetted at? What guy thinks "mmmm, my missus would just love it if I attack her harder"?

The rest of the message reads as so...



Also, sorry to all the floppy-cocked guys out there that actually have to use this crap. Get some exercise and drop some weight. Will do a lot more for your sex life than this.

I think advocating that the act of sex should be an attack, is a pretty poor way to advertise.

And people wonder why I post about societies worshiping sex.

Also, sorry to all the floppy-cocked guys out there that actually have to use this crap. Get some exercise and drop some weight. Will do a lot more for your sex life than this.

I don't think that's how erectile dysfunction works.

And people wonder why I post about societies worshiping sex.

I don't think a single person is the slightest bit surprised when you do, actually.

Quote from: Thork on February 20, 2012, 06:33:17 AM

Also, sorry to all the floppy-cocked guys out there that actually have to use this crap. Get some exercise and drop some weight. Will do a lot more for your sex life than this.

I don't think that's how erectile dysfunction works.

http://www.impotence-guide.com/impotence-exercise.html
You are welcome. Now get some exercise Tubby, before your dick gives up on you.

I have a feeling guys who are too tubby to get it up won't have a problem with "attacking their ladies harder."

Quote from: WardoggKC130FE on February 20, 2012, 06:39:15 AM

And people wonder why I post about societies worshiping sex.

I don't think a single person is the slightest bit surprised when you do, actually.

While you're correct in that regard, I still have to wonder why Wardogg draws such radically different conclusions from the same evidence from my own.

And people wonder why I post about societies worshiping sex.

You're the ones who worship it. We treat it as something that everyone desires an that happens whether you like it or not. You (plural you) treat it as something special and magical that can only happen in very specific conditions and to do it otherwise is a horrible sin.

Quote from: Supertails on February 20, 2012, 06:55:46 AM

Quote from: Thork on February 20, 2012, 06:33:17 AM

Also, sorry to all the floppy-cocked guys out there that actually have to use this crap. Get some exercise and drop some weight. Will do a lot more for your sex life than this.

I don't think that's how erectile dysfunction works.

http://www.impotence-guide.com/impotence-exercise.html
You are welcome. Now get some exercise Tubby, before your dick gives up on you.

I stand corrected, huh. Though that's still just decreasing the chances of getting it.

Some women like it rough.

Also, females generally like men to be aggressive in their sex.  The reason being is the built in basic gender facts: Men are more aggressive than women.  So women want the aggressiveness in their sex so they feel like a woman and feel the man they're with.  It's all base instincts.

So by attack they mean "Be aggressive in your sexual desires and activities."  You know, actually want her and pursue her and desire her so much that you can't help but have sex with her."

Women don't want men attacking their vaginas, Dave. They just don't.

I'm sure they like men to be strong, and confident, and masterful. But they don't want some barbarian frothing at the mouth, eyes rolling wildly as he attacks her vagina. Sex is like swimming. Anyone can thrash around and make a lot of bubbles, but the best swimmers are those that concentrate on balance and rhythm.

I dun knoooow. There's a reason Conan the Barbarian is so sexy...

I dun knoooow. There's a reason Conan the Barbarian is so sexy...

steroids.

And people wonder why I post about societies worshiping sex.

I don't think anyone wonders why you do it.

Quote from: rooster on February 20, 2012, 08:27:40 AM

I dun knoooow. There's a reason Conan the Barbarian is so sexy...

steroids.

Okay, but why would a big barbarian on steroids be sexy?

Okay, but why would a big barbarian on steroids be sexy?

Women like donkey punching thing he's got going?

Quote from: rooster on February 20, 2012, 08:34:05 AM

Okay, but why would a big barbarian on steroids be sexy?

Women like donkey punching thing he's got going?

False. Some women like a man that looks like he can go kill a mammoth, drag it back, then ahem attack your lady parts. You know, it's all very Klingon.

Oh, it was a camel, not a donkey.


The wimminz just want to be loved.

Oh, it was a camel, not a donkey.


The wimminz just want to be loved.

Yeah, he really doesn't like that camel. But no- new Conan (Jason Momoa) is the sexy one. Variety is the spice of life. We don't want the same routine all the time. But anyway, that's still a silly email subject.

And people wonder why I post about societies worshiping sex.

I know it's been said in the other thread, but is it really so surprising that humanity is obsessed with it's biological purpose?

People should be more like dogs, they only obsess over sex when they are in heat.

My dogs like to screw everything all the time.

People should be more like dogs, they only obsess over sex when they are in heat.

I'm not sure, but I think that may only apply to bitches. Also, our ability to breed throughout the year is one of the things that made us biologically successful since we can be as versatile as possible with it.

Perhaps people should be more like bonobos, they seem pretty peaceful.

Women don't want men attacking their vaginas, Dave. They just don't.

I'm sure they like men to be strong, and confident, and masterful. But they don't want some barbarian frothing at the mouth, eyes rolling wildly as he attacks her vagina. Sex is like swimming. Anyone can thrash around and make a lot of bubbles, but the best swimmers are those that concentrate on balance and rhythm.

Okay, how about wrecking her vag with balance and rhythm.

Quote from: Space Cowgirl on February 20, 2012, 02:55:54 PM

People should be more like dogs, they only obsess over sex when they are in heat.

I'm not sure, but I think that may only apply to bitches. Also, our ability to breed throughout the year is one of the things that made us biologically successful since we can be as versatile as possible with it.

No, it definitely applies to the male (the obsession). My dog, Mr Bill, looses his mind for about two weeks every year when the neighbor's dogs are in season. THE BITCHES.

Quote from: Thork on February 20, 2012, 07:50:03 AM

Women don't want men attacking their vaginas, Dave. They just don't.

I'm sure they like men to be strong, and confident, and masterful. But they don't want some barbarian frothing at the mouth, eyes rolling wildly as he attacks her vagina. Sex is like swimming. Anyone can thrash around and make a lot of bubbles, but the best swimmers are those that concentrate on balance and rhythm.

Okay, how about wrecking her vag with balance and rhythm.

There should be no wrecking. Even in today's throw-away society, you should aim to get more than one use out of a vagina.

There are probably more violent sounding euphemisms for sex than non-violent. You guys are such beasts!

I like hugs.

Quote from: Wendy on February 20, 2012, 11:54:19 PM

Quote from: Space Cowgirl on February 20, 2012, 02:55:54 PM

People should be more like dogs, they only obsess over sex when they are in heat.

I'm not sure, but I think that may only apply to bitches. Also, our ability to breed throughout the year is one of the things that made us biologically successful since we can be as versatile as possible with it.

No, it definitely applies to the male (the obsession). My dog, Mr Bill, looses his mind for about two weeks every year when the neighbor's dogs are in season. THE BITCHES.

Oh yeah, what I meant was that if he encountered any other bitches in heat (lol, bitches in heat), he would probably go as nuts from that, no matter what time of year it is. Unless all bitches enter heat at the same time. I'm really not a dog person, so I have no idea.

The only come into heat at the same time if they live together, or maybe next door, but it's generally only once every 6 months. Fortunately there aren't a lot of bitches in heat around here, lol.