The following are things I've said to my son tonight.
Son. "dad how old are you tomorrow"?
Me "Well son, you'd need all your fingers and toes. All your sisters finger and toes and two penises to count.
Son." are you getting a present? "
Me," adult birthdays are different. We're probably going to a nice restaurant and eat horse. "
Son, 'horse, why do you say such ridiculous things? "
Me," oh I'm the ridiculous one now? You once told me that it's okay to beat up your sister because batman beats his two year sister."