The Church had been in uproar all day, the few survivors falling into two camps, one one side were those crying blue murder for Wardogg's blood, the towns
de facto executioner, and Andrew, quiet, reserved and enigmatic.
"He's the God-damned alien!" Both sides roared at one another.
"There is a test, you know..." Raist suggested as a Mexican standoff threatened to violate the sanctity of the church.
"Oh, good, another test by the great Raist!" Cheesus scoffed "Why don't we all just shoot ourselves? Save the aliens the bother?!"
The tension in the air between them was electric, trigger fingers were all too ready to begin twitching until Wardogg finally stepped forward and dropped his shotgun on the ground between the pews.
"All right, Raist, what do you suggest? Another alcohol test?"
There was stunned silence before Raist nodded gravely.
--
Within minutes the church font had been filled with the entire stock of communion wine, Wardogg and Andrew faced one another across the inky red surface of the bowl, with townsfolk ready behind them to dunk their faces in turn. They arranged to do it in turn, the first being whoever lost a coin toss.
"Tails, Andrew, three, two, one..."
Marcus drove Andrew's nervous face below the surface of the liquid where he remained calm for a few seconds before beginning to thrash and break for air.
"Hold him!" Raised added his weight to Andrew's thrashing head until he eventually went still and limp. They cautiously released the energy and let his body slump to the floor.
"Is he a..."
"Shh! What's that?"
There was a distant rumbling, like the echo of a thunderstorm brewing over a tempestuous ocean. Forgetting about Andrew's body for a moment they rushed to the door and threw it open."
"My God."
The horizon was black, not with stormclouds but the clearly circular shape of a flying saucer an order of magnitude larger than the smaller ones which had terrorised the town. Clouds boiled and split in front of the leviathan as it descended on Fesville with unnerving speed. The folk of Fesville were too stunned, too drained and too weary to do anything but watch as their destruction loomed closer and closer.
"I know that bastard." Cheesus rumbled "That's the ship I was taken to, the one who probed my anus!"
"You've seen that befor-- wait, your anus?"
"Yeah, except last time it wasn't on fire." Cheesus was right, it wasn't just the clouds ahead of it which were boiling, the great saucer itself was clearly in flames, it's descent on the town was a crash landing! "Run!"
The survivors of Fesville jumped on the back of Wardogg's Chevy pickup and gripped one another as the executioner floored the gas and fled from the dropping fireball of death. The saucer itself smashed into the outskirts of town with an explosion loud enough to obliterate every window in town, the craft kept sliding, gaining speed on the Chevy and tearing up the town as it scooped up great mountains of earth.
Great clods of soil and sand and debris crashed down on the Chevy, which promptly crashed into the rubble of what was once the town's jail, behind them the saucer continued its inexorable skid towards them.
And stopped.
The dust settled and the survivors of fesville picked their way out of the rubble to see a door open on the side of the great craft.
"Arm yourselves, people! It's now or never!"
Nine indistinct shapes climbed out of the hatch and the survivors prepared themselves for the worst.
"Gayer? Gayer is that you!?" Raist declared suddenly, indeed it was--the abductees of Fesville stumbled out into the desert day, shielding their eyes from the light. Mr Pseudonym, Harutsedo, Gayer, Vindictus, Sillyrob, Tausami, Taters and last but not least, holding the head of the alien captain, Dann himself!
****
Well played, everyone! Talk about a last minute win! By the way the last post before 1800 GMT by my clock was Cheesus' Reply #1138
Now for the award ceremony
The Rowbotham Cross for heroic self-sacrifice - This prize goes to Dann, who signed up knowing that he would be lynched first no matter what, to be abducted on the first night was even more ignoble.
The Narcberry Trophy for most disruptive player - This goes to Skeleton, whose bitchy rants threatened to ruin the game for everyone.
The screening01 medal for best newcomer goes to Wardogg for a well-played game, staying alive to the final and even convincing the villagers to make the right final lynch.
The village Idiot award goes to Sillyrob for using his years of Men in Black training to deduce that the abducted Taters was not, in fact, an alien.
Alien of the match was Andrew who played the alien role so shrewdly throughout that not even until the last days was he even suggested as a suspect.
Villager of the match This one is obviously a controversial one and I debated between a couple but I have to award this to Lorddave who never gave up even when dead, kept scouring the thread for clues and made a positive addition to the game
Player of the match this is going to result in a hell of a lot of BAWWing, I know. Firstly it had to be someone who survived to the end of the game, it had to be someone active everyday who kept the suspicion up and who called a few of the correct votes. For this reason I award Cheesus player of the match.
Good game one and all!
Oh, and BTW, I've been using GMT I Just haven't been home early enough some nights (Like tonight) to post the results in time.