How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?

Serious advice, please 

Serious advice, please 

Dear HM Queen Elizabeth II,

I am writing this letter to you in order to say the following Hello.

Yours sinsneerly Pizz Planet

Her Majesty The Queen
Buckingham Palace
London SW1A 1AA

Your Majesty,

I am writing today to ask when you are planning to stop sucking up millions of pounds of taxpayer's money and abolish your own outdated institution?

Your loyal subject,

Chris Spaghetti

With a pen and paper.

Dear The Queen,

How are you?

Yours,

PizzaPlanet

Her Majesty The Queen
Buckingham Palace
London SW1A 1AA

Your Majesty,

I am writing today to ask when you are planning to stop sucking up millions of pounds of taxpayer's money and abolish your own outdated institution?

Your loyal subject,

Chris Spaghetti

I'm not a loyal subject. I might be trying to become one, but I'm not one yet.

I'm not either

But in that case it should be Yours Faithfully and instead of being addressed to the Queen herself it should be addressed to 'The Private Secretary to Her Majesty The Queen'

Nah, non-citizens can write letters to the Queen. A secretary will read anyway.

Nah, non-citizens can write letters to the Queen. A secretary will read anyway.

I'm a citizen, I'm just not a loyal subject.

so whay are you writing ltters to the Queen?

Because I'm too poor to study in the UK and I feel like ranting about it to the Queen. I'm not sure what my point is just yet. I think I'll ask for granting me citizenship, omitting the procedures. That way I could get a student maintenance loan.
No, I don't think it'll work, I just don't have better things to do. Also, I will probably be contacting other important people, too.

In that case you'd be better off writing to either the home or the foreign office, the Queen can't really do anything withuot parliamentary consent anyway.

Oh? I thought she could grant citizenship in special cases, much like presidents in other countries.

Her Majesty The Queen
Buckingham Palace
London SW1A 1AA

Madam,

 Your house isn't as posh as one would expect although I bet you have a lovely view. Is it true you can strip a land rover engine and service it?


I have the honour to be, Madam, Your Majesty's humble and obedient servant

INSERT YOUR NAME

In that case you'd be better off writing to either the home or the foreign office, the Queen can't really do anything withuot parliamentary consent anyway.

And Parliament can't do anything without the queens consent. Aaaaaaahhh what a pickle.

Because I'm too poor to study in the UK and I feel like ranting about it to the Queen. I'm not sure what my point is just yet. I think I'll ask for granting me citizenship, omitting the procedures. That way I could get a student maintenance loan.
No, I don't think it'll work, I just don't have better things to do. Also, I will probably be contacting other important people, too.

also, there's a queue for citizenship that starts here

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sangatte

send a pic of ur peen, she might be into it

Quote from: PizzaPlanet on July 27, 2010, 08:26:25 AM

Because I'm too poor to study in the UK and I feel like ranting about it to the Queen. I'm not sure what my point is just yet. I think I'll ask for granting me citizenship, omitting the procedures. That way I could get a student maintenance loan.
No, I don't think it'll work, I just don't have better things to do. Also, I will probably be contacting other important people, too.

also, there's a queue for citizenship that starts here

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sangatte

That's one of the reasons I'm not applying for citizenship. Another reason is that the grand total of 1 week that I have spent in the UK does not constitute the required 5 years.

I have the honour to be, Madam, Your Majesty's humble and obedient servant

I can't use that.

send a pic of ur peen, she might be into it

I've heard that this can often sway borderline decisions. Worth a try anyway. Write your name and address on the shaft so if the photo gets separated from your application they can reunite them later.

Quote from: monkeybradders on July 27, 2010, 09:09:35 AM

I have the honour to be, Madam, Your Majesty's humble and obedient servant

I can't use that.

I have the dream, one day to be, Madam, Your Majesty's humble and obedient servant

try this

Quote from: Chris Spaghetti on July 27, 2010, 08:33:03 AM

In that case you'd be better off writing to either the home or the foreign office, the Queen can't really do anything withuot parliamentary consent anyway.

And Parliament can't do anything without the queens consent. Aaaaaaahhh what a pickle.

Well, officially, but if the Queen actually used her powers she'd be out of her glitzy council estate in a heartbeat.

You guys are all noobs.

The Queen is to be addressed as Her Royal Majesty (HRM).

You guys are all noobs.

The Queen is to be addressed as Her Royal Majesty (HRM).

No.
http://www.royal.gov.uk/ThecurrentRoyalFamily/HowtocontactamemberofTheRoyalFamily/Overview.aspx
She wants to be called "Madam".

What country are you a citizen of?

I wonder what would happen if I sent the Queen a letter consisting of goatse in ASCII.

I wonder what would happen if I sent the Queen a letter consisting of goatse in ASCII.

She's probably seen it, it's the sort of thing that Prince Phillip would find hilarious.

Quote from: Parsifal on July 27, 2010, 01:44:01 PM

I wonder what would happen if I sent the Queen a letter consisting of goatse in ASCII.

She's probably seen it, it's the sort of thing that Prince Phillip would find hilarious.

Seen it? She's probably done it.

Her Majesty The Queen
Buckingham Palace
London SW1A 1AA

Your Majesty,

I am writing today to ask when you are planning to stop sucking up millions of pounds of taxpayer's money and abolish your own outdated institution?

Your loyal subject,

Chris Spaghetti

No offense to anyone British - but I totally agree with Chris S, for the system is outdated, and by that I suppose you mean her queenship.  If so I agree.  England sounds lovely, but I just can't do the whole royal thing - the pomp and circumstance.  YEEEWWW !  I mean it looks great on TV, majestic and everything, but I would never bow to her.  It's like ah, get over yourself.

Is it true you can strip a land rover engine and service it?

It has been said that yes she can fix vehicles/autos, (how specific and about what parts - I do not know) and I think she did it during war time.  I don't think she's a dummy at all, I just don't want to bow to her.

Quote from: monkeybradders on July 27, 2010, 09:12:43 AM

Quote from: Chris Spaghetti on July 27, 2010, 08:33:03 AM

In that case you'd be better off writing to either the home or the foreign office, the Queen can't really do anything withuot parliamentary consent anyway.

And Parliament can't do anything without the queens consent. Aaaaaaahhh what a pickle.

Well, officially, but if the Queen actually used her powers she'd be out of her glitzy council estate in a heartbeat.

            Queen
           |        |
         |            |
Lords | - - - - - -|Commons


one cannot exist without the other. Checks and balances dear boy, checks and balances. It's why we've never had a military coup.

I think England could probably exist pretty well without the inbred aristos and their goatse ways.