How Many Times Does The Bible Say To Kill You?

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Slemon

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How Many Times Does The Bible Say To Kill You?
« on: June 30, 2010, 03:57:41 PM »
How many times does the Bible say to kill you?
So far, I have five separate reasons for me to be killed.
Should I be pleased or scared?

A note to anyone who's complaining about how the O.T. isn't relevant: Genesis 17:19, Exodus 12:24, Leviticus 23:14, Deuteronomy 4:9, Isaiah 40:8, Malachi 4:4, Matthew 5:18 and Luke 16:17 among others.
And Romans 1:32 is in the New Testament and recommends the death penalty for plenty of these 'sins' anyway.

If you want to know how many times you should be killed, read the following list. Each number is the amount of verses which condemn that 'sin'-and this is just a quick read through. I could no doubt find more.
Not being Christian 6
Being a witch 1
Being gay 2
Being a fortune teller 1
Cursing a parent 3
Adultery 1
Fornication 2
Being a false prophet 3
Blasphemy 2
Working on Sunday 1


This is partly for a bit of fun, and partly as an eye-opener.

How about you? How many times does the Bible say you should be killed?
We all know deep in our hearts that Jane is the last face we'll see before we're choked to death!

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Lorddave

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Re: How Many Times Does The Bible Say To Kill You?
« Reply #1 on: June 30, 2010, 04:07:12 PM »
Wow, not being Christian got the most while being a witch got pretty low on the scale all things considered.

Freaky.
You have been ignored for common interest of mankind.

I am a terrible person and I am a typical Blowhard Liberal for being wrong about Bom.

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Chris Spaghetti

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Re: How Many Times Does The Bible Say To Kill You?
« Reply #2 on: June 30, 2010, 04:36:58 PM »
How many times does the Bible say to kill you?
So far, I have five separate reasons for me to be killed.
Should I be pleased or scared?

A note to anyone who's complaining about how the O.T. isn't relevant: Genesis 17:19, Exodus 12:24, Leviticus 23:14, Deuteronomy 4:9, Isaiah 40:8, Malachi 4:4, Matthew 5:18 and Luke 16:17 among others.
And Romans 1:32 is in the New Testament and recommends the death penalty for plenty of these 'sins' anyway.

If you want to know how many times you should be killed, read the following list. Each number is the amount of verses which condemn that 'sin'-and this is just a quick read through. I could no doubt find more.
Not being Christian 6
Being a witch 1



BURN HER!
BURN THE WITCH!

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Slemon

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Re: How Many Times Does The Bible Say To Kill You?
« Reply #3 on: June 30, 2010, 04:38:14 PM »
How many times does the Bible say to kill you?
So far, I have five separate reasons for me to be killed.
Should I be pleased or scared?

A note to anyone who's complaining about how the O.T. isn't relevant: Genesis 17:19, Exodus 12:24, Leviticus 23:14, Deuteronomy 4:9, Isaiah 40:8, Malachi 4:4, Matthew 5:18 and Luke 16:17 among others.
And Romans 1:32 is in the New Testament and recommends the death penalty for plenty of these 'sins' anyway.

If you want to know how many times you should be killed, read the following list. Each number is the amount of verses which condemn that 'sin'-and this is just a quick read through. I could no doubt find more.
Not being Christian 6
Being a witch 1



BURN HER!
BURN THE WITCH!


But only if you weigh the same as a duck, because then you're made of wood.
We all know deep in our hearts that Jane is the last face we'll see before we're choked to death!

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Wakka Wakka

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Re: How Many Times Does The Bible Say To Kill You?
« Reply #4 on: June 30, 2010, 08:19:31 PM »
No guys...that's the old testament.  Christians only use the New Testament and only keep the Old one around because the New feels insecure about itself.  Seriously Christians, you need to pick one.
Normally when I'm not sure I just cop a feel.

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Roundy the Truthinessist

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Re: How Many Times Does The Bible Say To Kill You?
« Reply #5 on: June 30, 2010, 08:30:38 PM »
The Old Testament was good enough for Jesus, it should be good enough for his followers.
Where did you educate the biology, in toulet?

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Mykael

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Re: How Many Times Does The Bible Say To Kill You?
« Reply #6 on: June 30, 2010, 09:33:53 PM »
I've fixed computers by simply walking into the same room as them; I'm pretty sure that counts as witchcraft. Sign me up for the public stoning.
« Last Edit: June 30, 2010, 10:00:44 PM by Myjafjallajokul »

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Ocius

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Re: How Many Times Does The Bible Say To Kill You?
« Reply #7 on: June 30, 2010, 09:44:57 PM »
God doesn't exist, sorry. Next.

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Muphci

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Re: How Many Times Does The Bible Say To Kill You?
« Reply #8 on: July 01, 2010, 09:20:13 AM »
There is no such thing as no time for fisting.

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Guessed

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Re: How Many Times Does The Bible Say To Kill You?
« Reply #9 on: July 01, 2010, 09:29:39 AM »
I got 19, do I win nao?
Is Dino open source?

Quote from: grogberries


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Slemon

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Re: How Many Times Does The Bible Say To Kill You?
« Reply #10 on: July 01, 2010, 09:33:55 AM »
I got 19, do I win nao?

There were only ten options, how did you get to 19?
We all know deep in our hearts that Jane is the last face we'll see before we're choked to death!

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Muphci

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Re: How Many Times Does The Bible Say To Kill You?
« Reply #11 on: July 01, 2010, 09:41:51 AM »
Cuz you put numbers by each of the ten things.

I get sixteen.
There is no such thing as no time for fisting.

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Slemon

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Re: How Many Times Does The Bible Say To Kill You?
« Reply #12 on: July 01, 2010, 09:46:48 AM »
Fine, including the numbers... (Which as a side note, there are now six reasons for me to die)
I get to fifteen, and sometime I'm going to add a couple more. Seventeen, yay!
Now, can anyone help me become a false prophet?
We all know deep in our hearts that Jane is the last face we'll see before we're choked to death!

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Marcus Aurelius

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Re: How Many Times Does The Bible Say To Kill You?
« Reply #13 on: July 01, 2010, 10:59:42 AM »
I'm at 15, I thought I would get a few more points for adultery.

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Slemon

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Re: How Many Times Does The Bible Say To Kill You?
« Reply #14 on: July 01, 2010, 01:06:05 PM »
I'm now at 20. Now, how to become a fortune teller...
We all know deep in our hearts that Jane is the last face we'll see before we're choked to death!

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Marcus Aurelius

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Re: How Many Times Does The Bible Say To Kill You?
« Reply #15 on: July 01, 2010, 03:03:33 PM »
Quote
1 Corinthians 6:9-10

 Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

damn, so why do the female prostitutes get a free pass? 

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Slemon

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Re: How Many Times Does The Bible Say To Kill You?
« Reply #16 on: July 01, 2010, 03:04:35 PM »
Quote
1 Corinthians 6:9-10

 Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

damn, so why do the female prostitutes get a free pass? 

Ask Mary Magdalene. Perhaps Jesus wants company
We all know deep in our hearts that Jane is the last face we'll see before we're choked to death!

?

Crustinator

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Re: How Many Times Does The Bible Say To Kill You?
« Reply #17 on: July 01, 2010, 03:32:10 PM »
I am a false prophet.

Re: How Many Times Does The Bible Say To Kill You?
« Reply #18 on: July 02, 2010, 08:43:23 AM »
Where does the Bible say we should kill non-Christians?
There is evidence for a NASA conspiracy. Please search.

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Slemon

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Re: How Many Times Does The Bible Say To Kill You?
« Reply #19 on: July 02, 2010, 08:46:32 AM »
Where does the Bible say we should kill non-Christians?

Deuteronomy 17:2-5, 12, Exodus 22:19, 2 Chronicles 15:12-13, Deuteronomy 13:7-12, 13-19,
Probably others, these were just the easy ones to find.
We all know deep in our hearts that Jane is the last face we'll see before we're choked to death!

Re: How Many Times Does The Bible Say To Kill You?
« Reply #20 on: July 02, 2010, 08:54:23 AM »
Where does the Bible say we should kill non-Christians?

Deuteronomy 17:2-5, 12, Exodus 22:19, 2 Chronicles 15:12-13, Deuteronomy 13:7-12, 13-19,
Probably others, these were just the easy ones to find.

And how many Christians were alive when those verses were written?
There is evidence for a NASA conspiracy. Please search.

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Slemon

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Re: How Many Times Does The Bible Say To Kill You?
« Reply #21 on: July 02, 2010, 08:54:59 AM »
Where does the Bible say we should kill non-Christians?

Deuteronomy 17:2-5, 12, Exodus 22:19, 2 Chronicles 15:12-13, Deuteronomy 13:7-12, 13-19,
Probably others, these were just the easy ones to find.

And how many Christians were alive when those verses were written?

How many Christians were alive when Jesus was?
We all know deep in our hearts that Jane is the last face we'll see before we're choked to death!

Re: How Many Times Does The Bible Say To Kill You?
« Reply #22 on: July 02, 2010, 08:57:57 AM »
Where does the Bible say we should kill non-Christians?

Deuteronomy 17:2-5, 12, Exodus 22:19, 2 Chronicles 15:12-13, Deuteronomy 13:7-12, 13-19,
Probably others, these were just the easy ones to find.

And how many Christians were alive when those verses were written?

How many Christians were alive when Jesus was?

Well, none... that was the whole point of Jesus coming.
There is evidence for a NASA conspiracy. Please search.

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Slemon

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Re: How Many Times Does The Bible Say To Kill You?
« Reply #23 on: July 02, 2010, 09:02:56 AM »
Where does the Bible say we should kill non-Christians?

Deuteronomy 17:2-5, 12, Exodus 22:19, 2 Chronicles 15:12-13, Deuteronomy 13:7-12, 13-19,
Probably others, these were just the easy ones to find.

And how many Christians were alive when those verses were written?

How many Christians were alive when Jesus was?

Well, none... that was the whole point of Jesus coming.

So why does it matter how many were alive when those verses were written?
We all know deep in our hearts that Jane is the last face we'll see before we're choked to death!

?

Wakka Wakka

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Re: How Many Times Does The Bible Say To Kill You?
« Reply #24 on: July 02, 2010, 12:50:09 PM »
The Old Testament was good enough for Jesus, it should be good enough for his followers.
This.
Normally when I'm not sure I just cop a feel.

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EnglshGentleman

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Re: How Many Times Does The Bible Say To Kill You?
« Reply #25 on: July 02, 2010, 01:06:13 PM »

Adultery 1


You are a horrible person.

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Slemon

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Re: How Many Times Does The Bible Say To Kill You?
« Reply #26 on: July 02, 2010, 01:11:24 PM »

Adultery 1


You are a horrible person.

Blame God.
Actually, he seemed to not mind adultery in OT times. 2 Samuel 11:3-4 for one.

I see , in your future, you will make a post.

There, that makes me a fortune teller. If I commit adultery I'll have pretty much completed the list. What fun.
We all know deep in our hearts that Jane is the last face we'll see before we're choked to death!

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EnglshGentleman

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Re: How Many Times Does The Bible Say To Kill You?
« Reply #27 on: July 02, 2010, 01:14:14 PM »

Adultery 1


You are a horrible person.

Blame God.

Blame God for you taking part in an affair?

EDIT: Nevermind. I though that was a list of how many times you've done each.

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Slemon

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Re: How Many Times Does The Bible Say To Kill You?
« Reply #28 on: July 02, 2010, 01:17:31 PM »

Adultery 1


You are a horrible person.

Blame God.

Blame God for you taking part in an affair?

Um...what?
A) well, yes, blame God. He's all-knowing, he should've stopped me
B) I haven't had an affair... (Yet. Depends if I enter a relationship at any point in the near future and get their permission to. Actually, the biblical definition of adultery is to marry a divorcee, or to look at someone lustfully.

I'm one off from completing the list. So close...
We all know deep in our hearts that Jane is the last face we'll see before we're choked to death!

*

Marcus Aurelius

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Re: How Many Times Does The Bible Say To Kill You?
« Reply #29 on: July 02, 2010, 03:15:44 PM »

Adultery 1


You are a horrible person.

Blame God.

Blame God for you taking part in an affair?

Um...what?
A) well, yes, blame God. He's all-knowing, he should've stopped me
B) I haven't had an affair... (Yet. Depends if I enter a relationship at any point in the near future and get their permission to. Actually, the biblical definition of adultery is to marry a divorcee, or to look at someone lustfully.

I'm one off from completing the list. So close...

If looking at someone lustfully deserves death, I should have been killed at least a dozen times a day since I was 12.  But I have done a lot worse when it comes to adultery.