Then why am I not weightless? Surely if UA affects things like the Earth, the sun, the moon, and every last one of those countless stars, why doesn't it affect us? What makes us special?
As stated in the FAQ, the DEF acts as a containment which shields us from UA and holds the atmolayer in place. The celestial bodies are free from this containment of the Earth. The DEF only applies to the standard model; it does not apply to other flat earth models.
While a single mass accelerating alone can "feel" a force which is indistinguishable from gravity, if there is another mass involved then part of that force it feels can, and must, be attributable to gravitational attraction.
No. All masses simply move along geodesics in curved space-time; they do not feel or experience any gravitational forces. Einstein argued that the Newton's force of gravity is false because it violates the universal speed limit. As I said, read General Relativity.
All mass exerts a gravitational field. You can't wish it away. It makes me worry when you insist people read Einstein while having yet to get to grips with more basic elements of physics yourself.
This is essentially why I said there is something which negates the Earth's ability to exert its own gravitational field.
By demanding a uniform gravitational field with zero tidal effects you are suppressing the evidence against your argument.
That is because you need to distinguish between a local reference frame and a macroscopic reference frame, and you cannot use experiments conducted in a macroscopic reference frame to contradict the Equivalence Principle because it does not apply to such reference frame. In our frame of reference, the variations are so small that they are neglected. For example, you can barely notice any variations by dropping two balls few meters apart. This is where the Equivalence Principle applies.
Then there are experiments to distinguish the two. We got there in the end didn't we?
I said, "there are no experiments that can distinguish between gravity and acceleration
in our frame of reference." Do you not understand the bold part?