This conversation would have to develop into an analysis of psychology and existential philosophy. However, I disagree with your position that your morals can dictate your actions, i.e. that your subjective morality is an innate feature of your inner being/psyche/soul, etc. I would argue that you don't necessarily exist in such a way, but are in fact nothingness itself. You are free to choose at any time what you think, feel, and believe. Although it may appear difficult, or imossible, it is simply your desire for wholeness asserting itself over your existentially free (and empty) subjective existence. It is your desire to have a sense of stability that produces the unnerving results of going against your "moral code." It is not a feature of your reality, but merely a sign of your weakness and bad faith.