TWILIGHT, YESSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!

Vampire mind control!

Quote from: Space Cowgirl on November 24, 2009, 01:57:36 PM

I'm almost tempted to read the book just to see what the fuss is about, but what if it gets me too? lol

Lol, that is how it starts. This one girl felt the exact same way as we all do, then she read one of the books and it completely changed her thinking. I think there is something weird going on in those books, perhaps Stephanie puts some sort of drugs in them.

It's like heroin. You want to try it to see what all the fuss is and pretty soon no guy on Earth is attracted to you and you're annoying.

They're easy to read and entertaining in the sick sort of way that make you disgust yourself.

And when you're done, you realise how shit it was. Unless you're a retarded fangirl, that is.

*sigh* I wonder if I should read them. I mean, I hate to judge them like I do without ever having laid eyes on them. But, I don't know if I could handle the gayness of it.

*sigh* I wonder if I should read them. I mean, I hate to judge them like I do without ever having laid eyes on them. But, I don't know if I could handle the gayness of it.

Yes. Yes you should.

(Mwa haha ha.)

Twilight is a pretty simple concept. Meyer basically wrote out her personal sexual/romance fantasy, then stripped the main character or any actual personality/description/soul so that the reader could more easily imagine herself in that situation. It's a hardcopy version of masturbation.

Quote from: physics101 on November 25, 2009, 01:02:56 PM

*sigh* I wonder if I should read them. I mean, I hate to judge them like I do without ever having laid eyes on them. But, I don't know if I could handle the gayness of it.

Yes. Yes you should.

(Mwa haha ha.)

I'll have to borrow it from someone then, no way in hell will I let myself be seen at a store buying it.

Twilight is a pretty simple concept. Meyer basically wrote out her personal sexual/romance fantasy, then stripped the main character or any actual personality/description/soul so that the reader could more easily imagine herself in that situation. It's a hardcopy version of masturbation.

lol, I saw something on CNN the other day that was saying that the story pushes abstinence until marriage on teens. I lol'd because I don't believe that.

Quote from: Blanko on November 25, 2009, 01:19:19 PM

Quote from: physics101 on November 25, 2009, 01:02:56 PM

*sigh* I wonder if I should read them. I mean, I hate to judge them like I do without ever having laid eyes on them. But, I don't know if I could handle the gayness of it.

Yes. Yes you should.

(Mwa haha ha.)

I'll have to borrow it from someone then, no way in hell will I let myself be seen at a store buying it.

Quote from: Mykael on November 25, 2009, 01:25:59 PM

Twilight is a pretty simple concept. Meyer basically wrote out her personal sexual/romance fantasy, then stripped the main character or any actual personality/description/soul so that the reader could more easily imagine herself in that situation. It's a hardcopy version of masturbation.

lol, I saw something on CNN the other day that was saying that the story pushes abstinence until marriage on teens. I lol'd because I don't believe that.

Actually if you replace the word "bite" with "fuck", then that's exactly what it is.
"Bite me Edward, bite me!"
"No, I have never bitten before and shall not until we are married. I really want to bite you though"

I'm paraphrasing a bit, but that's the gist of it.

Quote from: physics101 on November 25, 2009, 01:29:57 PM

Quote from: Blanko on November 25, 2009, 01:19:19 PM

Quote from: physics101 on November 25, 2009, 01:02:56 PM

*sigh* I wonder if I should read them. I mean, I hate to judge them like I do without ever having laid eyes on them. But, I don't know if I could handle the gayness of it.

Yes. Yes you should.

(Mwa haha ha.)

I'll have to borrow it from someone then, no way in hell will I let myself be seen at a store buying it.

Quote from: Mykael on November 25, 2009, 01:25:59 PM

Twilight is a pretty simple concept. Meyer basically wrote out her personal sexual/romance fantasy, then stripped the main character or any actual personality/description/soul so that the reader could more easily imagine herself in that situation. It's a hardcopy version of masturbation.

lol, I saw something on CNN the other day that was saying that the story pushes abstinence until marriage on teens. I lol'd because I don't believe that.

Actually if you replace the word "bite" with "fuck", then that's exactly what it is.
"Bite me Edward, bite me!"
"No, I have never bitten before and shall not until we are married. I really want to bite you though"

I'm paraphrasing a bit, but that's the gist of it.

lol, I guess that is true. I hear in the third one they do fuck though. Apparently it gets quite violent, Edward is not a gentle lover.

A friend of mine told me that she is covered in bruises talking about how good it was, and he is worried that she is hurt but hadn't even noticed the bruises yet.

Do you like True Blood? 

Ya hes violent (hes an inuccubus) Often vampires will have sex with mortals. They do not survive often. Because of his love for bella, Edward is able to control himself enough to not kill her.

Of course. In a sexual abuse cases, a defense lawyer would definitely say: "My client truly loves the plaintiff. He didn't kill her, only inflicted numerous bruises, and refrained from killing her."

.................................  

this is in the last book not the third. Its the fourth Breaking Dawn that they get married and go to an island near south america for their honey moon.

An island that doesn't really exist, and only serves to highlight how super-special-awesome-rich the Cullens are. And it serves as a backdrop for their boderline abusive sex. And conception of their hellspawn.

I wish it was written my like a dirty romance novel. But hey i heard the author is Morman. I guess she thought it was too risky.
I totally would have made it raunchy!

Really. I thought the part where she described how Edward chewed his way into her uterus was plenty.  

Why are you quoting babsinva?  You don't want him protesting that you're impersonating him or anything.

Quote from: Pete on November 28, 2009, 05:41:51 PM

Quote from: mallory d. on November 28, 2009, 12:08:18 PM

Ya hes violent (hes an inuccubus) Often vampires will have sex with mortals. They do not survive often. Because of his love for bella, Edward is able to control himself enough to not kill her.

Of course. In a sexual abuse cases, a defense lawyer would definitely say: "My client truly loves the plaintiff. He didn't kill her, only inflicted numerous bruises, and refrained from killing her."

.................................  

Quote from: mallory d. on November 28, 2009, 12:08:18 PM

this is in the last book not the third. Its the fourth Breaking Dawn that they get married and go to an island near south america for their honey moon.

An island that doesn't really exist, and only serves to highlight how super-special-awesome-rich the Cullens are. And it serves as a backdrop for their boderline abusive sex. And conception of their hellspawn.

Quote from: mallory d. on November 28, 2009, 12:08:18 PM

I wish it was written my like a dirty romance novel. But hey i heard the author is Morman. I guess she thought it was too risky.
I totally would have made it raunchy!

Really. I thought the part where she described how Edward chewed his way into her uterus was plenty.  

ya well i assumed the island was fake after all its fiction.

Yes. Cheesy.

I thought the delivery of renesme, was pretty cool.

Let me get this straight:

Bella stupidly bends over, feels a ripping in her abdomen as the placenta detaches, then vomits up fountains of blood. She then goes into labor. Her baby breaks every damn bone in her body, breaks her spine, starts killing her. Then Eddy-kins chews into her goddamn uterus, and you describe it as "Cool"?

I think you need to have your cool-meter re-calibrated. That was one of the most revolting things I've ever read.

I read that book 4 days from when i had my son, so actually i was pretty freaked out in all.

Yeah, no kidding. You'd be wondering if you'd need to call in your husband to eat his way into your womb. Hopefully he'd manage it before your baby severed your spinal cord.

Adorable.

Let me get this straight:

Bella stupidly bends over, feels a ripping in her abdomen as the placenta detaches, then vomits up fountains of blood. She then goes into labor. Her baby breaks every damn bone in her body, breaks her spine, starts killing her. Then Eddy-kins chews into her goddamn uterus, and you describe it as "Cool"?

Wait, what??!! That is how it is in the book?

Quote from: Pete on November 29, 2009, 06:17:38 PM

Let me get this straight:

Bella stupidly bends over, feels a ripping in her abdomen as the placenta detaches, then vomits up fountains of blood. She then goes into labor. Her baby breaks every damn bone in her body, breaks her spine, starts killing her. Then Eddy-kins chews into her goddamn uterus, and you describe it as "Cool"?

Wait, what??!! That is how it is in the book?

Yes. I heard about it, couldn't believe it, so I downloaded a pirated version in .pdf.


Its fricking true, EDWARD CHEWS THROUGH BELLA'S UTERUS TO GET THE FRICKING BABY OUT.

Its a huge "Holy shit you have got to be kidding me" moment.

Quote from: physics101 on November 29, 2009, 06:21:10 PM

Quote from: Pete on November 29, 2009, 06:17:38 PM

Let me get this straight:

Bella stupidly bends over, feels a ripping in her abdomen as the placenta detaches, then vomits up fountains of blood. She then goes into labor. Her baby breaks every damn bone in her body, breaks her spine, starts killing her. Then Eddy-kins chews into her goddamn uterus, and you describe it as "Cool"?

Wait, what??!! That is how it is in the book?

Yes. I heard about it, couldn't believe it, so I downloaded a pirated version in .pdf.


Its fricking true, EDWARD CHEWS THROUGH BELLA'S UTERUS TO GET THE FRICKING BABY OUT.

Its a huge "Holy shit you have got to be kidding me" moment.

HOLY SHIT!!! I think I have to read these books now. That is completely unexpected.

Quote from: Pete on November 29, 2009, 06:23:24 PM

Quote from: physics101 on November 29, 2009, 06:21:10 PM

Quote from: Pete on November 29, 2009, 06:17:38 PM

Let me get this straight:

Bella stupidly bends over, feels a ripping in her abdomen as the placenta detaches, then vomits up fountains of blood. She then goes into labor. Her baby breaks every damn bone in her body, breaks her spine, starts killing her. Then Eddy-kins chews into her goddamn uterus, and you describe it as "Cool"?

Wait, what??!! That is how it is in the book?

Yes. I heard about it, couldn't believe it, so I downloaded a pirated version in .pdf.


Its fricking true, EDWARD CHEWS THROUGH BELLA'S UTERUS TO GET THE FRICKING BABY OUT.

Its a huge "Holy shit you have got to be kidding me" moment.

HOLY SHIT!!! I think I have to read these books now. That is completely unexpected.

It was awe inspiring to watch Meyer's shitty writing reach an even greater nadir of sheer awfulness then usual.

Other brilliant, jaw-droppingly awful scenes include:

Edward orders Bella into his car. She obeys because she's a woman.

Edward removes the engine from Bella's car so she can't see anyone but him

Edward sneaks into her bedroom to watch her sleep.

Bella throws herself off a cliff in order to hear Edward's voice in her head after they break up.

Bella crashes a motorcycle in order to hear Edward's voice in her head after they break up.

Meyer inserts large numbers of blank pages, with month names, to indicate that Bella's life looses all meaning after she breaks up with Edward. Also quite a nice tactic if she's paid by the page.

Bella's parents immediately agree to her tossing aside her college aspirations to marry Edward immediately after graduation.

Jacob goes through teenage angst heartbreak crap at Bella's wedding

Edward beats Bella up during sex. When he refuses to sex her again because he has left enormous bruises all over her body, she starts crying.

Bella wakes up after an erotic dream, and starts crying because it wasn't real, and her Eddy-kins won't sex her. And then she finally convinces him to do it to her again

She gets pregnant. And feels her "Little nudger" almost immediately.

Then of course there is the birth

Jacob turns pedophile and imprints on the infant.

The infant gets the most unfortunate name of all time: "Renesmee". I swear, Meyer must have been on crack or something when she settled on that.

Renesmee is nicknamed "Nessie". 

"Nessie" is only days old, but can communicate with telepathy.

Instead of turning into a bloodthisrty newborn Vampire who will spend years desperately trying to kill any human she encounters, she is lucid for no reason and in total control, because she is a special snowflake or some crap.

Bella gets a magical super power... a "Love shield" *Puke* 

Bella gets a fairy tale cottage and lives happily ever after. (This is real. She seriously does get a fairytale style cottage...)

Yeah, I knew most of that crap because of the first two movies, but the rest sounds hilarious. Must read them this summer, I'll get them from the hot chick I work with too, for bonus points.

You missed the point. The Twilight sucks.

Quote from: Space Cowgirl on November 28, 2009, 04:20:30 PM

Do you like True Blood? 

who me?
umm never watched it. seen it on commercials though.

Just thought you might like it, since it's actually a show for adults.