Let's begin with a little review of heat transfer basics. It is a fact that an ice cube that is cut in half will melt faster than the same size cube as a whole. This is due to the increased surface area. The larger the area is that heat is being transferred to, the more efficient the process. As a side note, remember that ice does not cool your drinks. Heat is transferred from your drink to the ice cube as the fluid/ solid mixture seek equilibrium.
But I digress.
Let's look at this example on a larger scale. If we cut a glacier in half, the surface area would increase by roughly 38% and the resultant heat transfer efficiency would increase by a factor of 3. In laymen's terms this simply means that the glacier would melt twice as fast (in a vacuum mind you). There are other factors to consider such as temperature gradients and energies of state change, but their effect is negligible for the purpose of this discussion.
Now let's assume that we cut the glacier into even more pieces. What's the net effect? Obviously it will melt faster and faster the more we dissect it. You may ask why anyone would be concerned with the speed of a glacier melting. I'll then answer you by saying that we're all gonna die. That's right. And it's because of the glaciers melting like big dogs. The meltage of the glaciers around the world would cause an increase in the water levels around the world resulting in a 4000 foot rise in sea level. To give you an idea how bad this would be I'll let you in on a little secret. About 80% of the earth's surface is less than 4000 feet above sea level. 94% of the world's population lives in areas that are in that 80%. Sucks huh?
The melting rate circa 1950 was consistent with a complete loss of all polar ice by 2200 A.D. Not too bad. We'd be long gone by then. However, as of 2000, the rate had gone up significantly and the projected depletion of polar ice formations had moved to 2080. Some of us might see that. Our kids and grandkids would be the most likely victims. As of 2005 the rate had gone up so significantly that the projected depletion of all that frozen stuff was 2020. Thirteen years. Looks like I'm moving to Colorado.
What's disturbing is that the depletion rate isn't increasing exponentially due to car emissions. The threat of nuclear war is almost non-existent. Genocide on a large scale is unlikely due to the police force that the USA maintains at the ready. There are but two contributing factors to the early demise of a large part of the human race. One really, but I'll explain that in a moment.
The world as we know it will cease to exist because of Eskimos and cows.
Take that in. Take it all in. Those sick little bastard Eskimos and their bovine minions are going to be the death of us. The Eskimos are chopping up glaciers and making little ice huts out of them in an attempt to speed us to the apocalypse. Why would they commit such an atrocity? I'll tell you why. They're the reconnaissance wing of an alien race; an alien race that is bent on controlling our planet. The fact that we didn't see this earlier is a glaring reminder that we probably don't deserve to inhabit this planet. We have to be the most retarded species in the cosmos. How could we not realize that it isn't normal to live in a house made of ice? Igloo my ass. They're building miniature fortresses of solitude up there. Alien sons of bitches.
What about the cows? Let me tell you about the cows. The ozone layer is going bye-bye because of the beef. Cows are responsible for roughly 60% of methane emissions. Methane is the primary reagent in the chemical compound known as MTC. This compound is what's causing global warming. And it's all bullshit. Literally. The cows have all been genetically altered by Eskimo farmhands that were posing as Mexicans. And you know that mad cow disease thing…it's what happens when the DNA re-mapping process gets botched.
In conclusion, there is obviously only one solution to the problem. Canada must be destroyed. Why Canada? Because they've been harboring those dirty Eskimos for years. They're out of control friends and it's time they take a ride on the pain train.