Dead Man Walking

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Trekky0623

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Dead Man Walking
« on: May 01, 2008, 09:40:49 PM »
Tonight, I went to watch Dead Man Walking at our school.

But that's really not the point.

The point is the program guide.  The actors had to write a short biography on themselves.  Here's one I found quite amusing.

For privacy purposes, I have changed the names.

Quote
John Doe as Matthew Poncelet - He has come out of retirement for this encore performance in Dead Man Waling.  He's kind of a big deal.  He was born and raised in West Philadelphia.  His Broadway credentials include many plays and musicals you haven't heard of and a few you probably have.  He made his breakthrough film role in Forrest Gump as Pedestrian No. 42, which earned him his first Oscar nomination.  After that, he was a huge box office draw.  At this point, John directed his independent film The System, and artful film set in the future when mankind has been enslaved in a virtual world by a race of machines.  It won several film festival awards and was well liked by (a) critic(s) but never made it into theaters because of a small legal matter.  After being ruthlessly sued for copyright infringement, John decided to retire before his extensive business ties were found out by the general public.  It was then that his high school drama teacher Jane Poe approached him about a role in tonight's performance.  John is also noted for his contributions to the field of science, known for such discoveries as the average airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow, and the cure for bad joke-telling.  He has many leather-bound books, and his apartment smells of rich mahogany.  He is never late, nor is he early, but arrives precisely when he means to.  He solves practical problems.  He saved the cheerleader.  He could be the walrus.  When John Doe stands, nobody sits.  He enjoys making inappropriately timed "that's what she said" jokes, good food, driving Ferraris, blowing things up, and the company of his Bengal tiger, Richard Parker.
« Last Edit: May 02, 2008, 06:24:47 AM by Trekky0623 »

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Taters343

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Re: Dead Man Walking
« Reply #1 on: May 02, 2008, 04:05:56 AM »
That has to be the single best bio I have ever seen. I want to be him when I grow up.

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Raist

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Re: Dead Man Walking
« Reply #2 on: May 02, 2008, 06:05:20 AM »
wow..... awesome.....

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Saddam Hussein

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Re: Dead Man Walking
« Reply #3 on: May 02, 2008, 10:34:57 AM »
When I read the title of this thread, I thought Trekky was referring to me again.

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Raist

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Re: Dead Man Walking
« Reply #4 on: May 02, 2008, 12:04:04 PM »
Narcissist.

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narcberry

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Re: Dead Man Walking
« Reply #5 on: May 02, 2008, 12:40:31 PM »
Yeah, I'm awesome.

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Saddam Hussein

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Re: Dead Man Walking
« Reply #6 on: May 02, 2008, 12:44:43 PM »
No, I'm awesome.

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Raist

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Re: Dead Man Walking
« Reply #7 on: May 02, 2008, 12:45:39 PM »
@narc yes you are

@saddam at one time you were.

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mwahaha

Re: Dead Man Walking
« Reply #8 on: May 02, 2008, 04:44:16 PM »
@ trekky (cuz he's the only who would know who i'm talking about): i was really proud of jj in that play, dude. 

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Saddam Hussein

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Re: Dead Man Walking
« Reply #9 on: May 02, 2008, 04:50:41 PM »
Why, Muffz?  Was he one of your boyfriends?

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mwahaha

Re: Dead Man Walking
« Reply #10 on: May 03, 2008, 12:07:13 PM »
ewwy, no. he's like.......pretty much my brother.  i would never date him.  that's grody.  jj is awesome, though.

Re: Dead Man Walking
« Reply #11 on: May 03, 2008, 12:35:50 PM »
ewwy, no. he's like.......pretty much my brother.  i would never date him.  that's grody.  jj is awesome, though.

If it's not in, it's not incest.
Quote
Can the FAQ...
Yes, it can.

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mwahaha

Re: Dead Man Walking
« Reply #12 on: May 03, 2008, 12:37:47 PM »
incest = nasty

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Wendy

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Re: Dead Man Walking
« Reply #13 on: May 03, 2008, 01:20:42 PM »
I don't really get anything about this thread, except the Monty Python/Gandalf references, but you know, I'm stupid. :)
Here's an explanation for ya. Lurk moar. Every single point you brought up has been posted, reposted, debated and debunked. There is a search function on this forum, and it is very easy to use.

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FinalSphere

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Re: Dead Man Walking
« Reply #15 on: May 05, 2008, 03:49:18 PM »
I wonder if he spent most of his days on the playground?


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FinalSphere

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Re: Dead Man Walking
« Reply #17 on: May 06, 2008, 09:14:02 AM »
The Earth is Round... a Sphere.  Period.

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Raist

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Re: Dead Man Walking
« Reply #18 on: May 06, 2008, 04:55:57 PM »
incest = nasty
but Anime Twincest=epic win
http://i182.photobucket.com/albums/x205/mikimatsuura_img/YAOI/twins.jpg
http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j145/Yoshitsumi/other%20yaoi/Devilmaycry1.jpg

well that's interesting.  ya see something new everyday i guess.....
i love corrupting people. somebodyt said they hate me today.. it made me happy.
You are the kind of person that forwards nasty cell phone pics. You are the cancer.

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FinalSphere

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Re: Dead Man Walking
« Reply #19 on: May 06, 2008, 09:29:44 PM »
incest = nasty
but Anime Twincest=epic win
http://i182.photobucket.com/albums/x205/mikimatsuura_img/YAOI/twins.jpg
http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j145/Yoshitsumi/other%20yaoi/Devilmaycry1.jpg

well that's interesting.  ya see something new everyday i guess.....
i love corrupting people. somebodyt said they hate me today.. it made me happy.
You are the kind of person that forwards nasty cell phone pics. You are the cancer.
ew, cell phone chain mail *vomits* no thank you. i was just testing my limits
The Earth is Round... a Sphere.  Period.

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Raist

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Re: Dead Man Walking
« Reply #20 on: May 08, 2008, 04:17:51 PM »
incest = nasty
but Anime Twincest=epic win
http://i182.photobucket.com/albums/x205/mikimatsuura_img/YAOI/twins.jpg
http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j145/Yoshitsumi/other%20yaoi/Devilmaycry1.jpg

well that's interesting.  ya see something new everyday i guess.....
i love corrupting people. somebodyt said they hate me today.. it made me happy.
You are the kind of person that forwards nasty cell phone pics. You are the cancer.
ew, cell phone chain mail *vomits* no thank you. i was just testing my limits
I wonder why you have pics of gay men making out in your link repertoire......

?

FinalSphere

  • 158
  • Mindless Government Drone! WHUT????
Re: Dead Man Walking
« Reply #21 on: May 08, 2008, 04:28:14 PM »
incest = nasty
but Anime Twincest=epic win
http://i182.photobucket.com/albums/x205/mikimatsuura_img/YAOI/twins.jpg
http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j145/Yoshitsumi/other%20yaoi/Devilmaycry1.jpg

well that's interesting.  ya see something new everyday i guess.....
i love corrupting people. somebodyt said they hate me today.. it made me happy.
You are the kind of person that forwards nasty cell phone pics. You are the cancer.
ew, cell phone chain mail *vomits* no thank you. i was just testing my limits
I wonder why you have pics of gay men making out in your link repertoire......
because i like gay anime.  not real gay porn though.. i find that disgusting.... weird...
The Earth is Round... a Sphere.  Period.

*

Raist

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Re: Dead Man Walking
« Reply #22 on: May 08, 2008, 04:33:51 PM »
incest = nasty
but Anime Twincest=epic win
http://i182.photobucket.com/albums/x205/mikimatsuura_img/YAOI/twins.jpg
http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j145/Yoshitsumi/other%20yaoi/Devilmaycry1.jpg

well that's interesting.  ya see something new everyday i guess.....
i love corrupting people. somebodyt said they hate me today.. it made me happy.
You are the kind of person that forwards nasty cell phone pics. You are the cancer.
ew, cell phone chain mail *vomits* no thank you. i was just testing my limits
I wonder why you have pics of gay men making out in your link repertoire......
because i like gay anime.  not real gay porn though.. i find that disgusting.... weird...
oh yeah you are a chick i think. nm.

Re: Dead Man Walking
« Reply #23 on: May 08, 2008, 05:43:22 PM »
incest = nasty
but Anime Twincest=epic win
http://i182.photobucket.com/albums/x205/mikimatsuura_img/YAOI/twins.jpg
http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j145/Yoshitsumi/other%20yaoi/Devilmaycry1.jpg

well that's interesting.  ya see something new everyday i guess.....
i love corrupting people. somebodyt said they hate me today.. it made me happy.
You are the kind of person that forwards nasty cell phone pics. You are the cancer.
ew, cell phone chain mail *vomits* no thank you. i was just testing my limits
I wonder why you have pics of gay men making out in your link repertoire......
because i like gay anime.  not real gay porn though.. i find that disgusting.... weird...
oh yeah you are a chick i think. nm.
If liking gay anime makes you a chick...then I don't want to not be one.

*

Raist

  • The Elder Ones
  • 30590
  • The cat in the Matrix
Re: Dead Man Walking
« Reply #24 on: May 08, 2008, 06:41:34 PM »
incest = nasty
but Anime Twincest=epic win
http://i182.photobucket.com/albums/x205/mikimatsuura_img/YAOI/twins.jpg
http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j145/Yoshitsumi/other%20yaoi/Devilmaycry1.jpg

well that's interesting.  ya see something new everyday i guess.....
i love corrupting people. somebodyt said they hate me today.. it made me happy.
You are the kind of person that forwards nasty cell phone pics. You are the cancer.
ew, cell phone chain mail *vomits* no thank you. i was just testing my limits
I wonder why you have pics of gay men making out in your link repertoire......
because i like gay anime.  not real gay porn though.. i find that disgusting.... weird...
oh yeah you are a chick i think. nm.
If liking gay anime makes you a chick...then I don't want to not be one.
It can also make you gay. I just remember that person identifying themselves as female.

Re: Dead Man Walking
« Reply #25 on: May 08, 2008, 06:43:24 PM »
incest = nasty
but Anime Twincest=epic win
http://i182.photobucket.com/albums/x205/mikimatsuura_img/YAOI/twins.jpg
http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j145/Yoshitsumi/other%20yaoi/Devilmaycry1.jpg

well that's interesting.  ya see something new everyday i guess.....
i love corrupting people. somebodyt said they hate me today.. it made me happy.
You are the kind of person that forwards nasty cell phone pics. You are the cancer.
ew, cell phone chain mail *vomits* no thank you. i was just testing my limits
I wonder why you have pics of gay men making out in your link repertoire......
because i like gay anime.  not real gay porn though.. i find that disgusting.... weird...
oh yeah you are a chick i think. nm.
If liking gay anime makes you a chick...then I don't want to not be one.
It can also make you gay. I just remember that person identifying themselves as female.
Clarification noted.