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Smart/Dumbasses Wanted

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Mr. Ireland

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Smart/Dumbasses Wanted
« on: February 21, 2008, 02:43:07 PM »
I need a crime to take place in a McDonalds, and thought some of the people here could come up with a good one.  It needs to be original, and doesn't even need to be a legal crime for all I care as long as 'crime' is in its description.  Don't be Juggerfails.
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Conspiracy Mastermind

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Re: Smart/Dumbasses Wanted
« Reply #1 on: February 21, 2008, 03:19:28 PM »
*Shaves head, gets scar and puts little finger to mouth*
I propose we construct a "laser", using this "laser" we project a red spot onto random people in McDonalds, thereby making them think they're being targeted by a laser-scope-gun-wielding assassin. They will be unable to enjoy their meal, and worse, they will be humiliated. Slowly but surely people will stop going to McDonalds, unless the managing body pays us...
ONE HUNDRED BILLION DOLLARS!
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there is no optical light, there is just light and theres no other type of light unless you start talkling about energy saving lightbulbs compared to other types of light bulbs
ENaG: Evidence Not a Guarantee.
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cmdshft

  • The Elder Ones
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Re: Smart/Dumbasses Wanted
« Reply #2 on: February 21, 2008, 03:23:39 PM »
* Daedalus plays "Alan Parson's Project"
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Kasroa Is Gone

  • 6869
Re: Smart/Dumbasses Wanted
« Reply #3 on: February 21, 2008, 03:35:51 PM »
I know...Right, well someone goes in to a McDonalds and orders some food, then eats it.
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Dioptimus Drime

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Re: Smart/Dumbasses Wanted
« Reply #4 on: February 21, 2008, 03:45:08 PM »
Public nudity? That's a fun one.


~D-Draw
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Saddam Hussein

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Re: Smart/Dumbasses Wanted
« Reply #5 on: February 21, 2008, 04:32:56 PM »
Rob the place.  That's funny because you'd have to hold up a bunch of people eating fast food, and you wouldn't get a lot of money.
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Mr. Ireland

  • 14993
Re: Smart/Dumbasses Wanted
« Reply #6 on: February 21, 2008, 05:02:30 PM »
Maybe I should have mentioned I want it to be completely retarded.  Conspiracy Agent has the right idea.
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James

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Re: Smart/Dumbasses Wanted
« Reply #7 on: February 21, 2008, 06:25:17 PM »
Engage in sexual congress with a McDonald's burger. Necrophilia and bestiality are both crimes in many jurisdictions, kill two birds with one stone!
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"For your own sake, as well as for that of our beloved country, be bold and firm against error and evil of every kind." - David Wardlaw Scott, Terra Firma 1901
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Username

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Re: Smart/Dumbasses Wanted
« Reply #8 on: February 21, 2008, 08:24:08 PM »
I'll never think of burgers the same way.
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The illusion is shattered if we ask what goes on behind the scenes.
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Fikealox

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Re: Smart/Dumbasses Wanted
« Reply #9 on: February 21, 2008, 11:29:30 PM »
I'll never think of Congress the same way again..
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Saddam Hussein

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Re: Smart/Dumbasses Wanted
« Reply #10 on: February 22, 2008, 04:07:24 AM »
Quote from: Mr. Ireland on February 21, 2008, 05:02:30 PM
Maybe I should have mentioned I want it to be completely retarded.  Conspiracy Agent has the right idea.

Throw ketchup packets at random people, but pretend it wasn't you.
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Midnight

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Re: Smart/Dumbasses Wanted
« Reply #11 on: February 22, 2008, 11:05:04 AM »
Quote from: Mr. Ireland on February 21, 2008, 02:43:07 PM
I need a crime to take place in a McDonalds, and thought some of the people here could come up with a good one.  It needs to be original, and doesn't even need to be a legal crime for all I care as long as 'crime' is in its description.  Don't be Juggerfails.

Pull the cork on their grease storage containment unit out back. Drop a zippo on it. The end.
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Quote from: Raist on September 06, 2010, 07:48:56 PM
My problem with his ideas is that it is a ridiculous thing.

Genius. PURE, undiluted genius.
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Username

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Re: Smart/Dumbasses Wanted
« Reply #12 on: February 22, 2008, 01:17:21 PM »
Hire cheap college actors to break out into a full fledged musical in the middle of the store.
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The illusion is shattered if we ask what goes on behind the scenes.
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Mr. Ireland

  • 14993
Re: Smart/Dumbasses Wanted
« Reply #13 on: February 22, 2008, 02:46:38 PM »
Quote from: Dogplatter on February 21, 2008, 06:25:17 PM
Engage in sexual congress with a McDonald's burger. Necrophilia and bestiality are both crimes in many jurisdictions, kill two birds with one stone!

I would have never expected such a thing from you.
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Althalus

  • 4064
Re: Smart/Dumbasses Wanted
« Reply #14 on: February 22, 2008, 03:00:29 PM »
Kill two rats be ordering the chicken burger.
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Raist

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Re: Smart/Dumbasses Wanted
« Reply #15 on: February 22, 2008, 03:42:53 PM »
I propose we invade the duct system of mccdonalds. Sneak into the place, and then we order a milkshake, when said milkshake arrives we throw it back at the person who gave it to us and proceed to use the roof for an escape.
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Loard Z

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Re: Smart/Dumbasses Wanted
« Reply #16 on: February 23, 2008, 02:15:48 AM »
I propose we eat there 3 times a day for 30 days, and always take an upgrade when it is offered to us, to measure the effects on our health...
Oh wait.
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Quote from: eric bloedow on January 08, 2008, 04:03:12 PM
if i remember, austria is an old, dis-used name for what is now Germany.
See My Greatness
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Dead Kangaroo

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Re: Smart/Dumbasses Wanted
« Reply #17 on: February 24, 2008, 05:58:43 AM »
Run in paintballing everyone.
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Chris Spaghetti

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Re: Smart/Dumbasses Wanted
« Reply #18 on: February 24, 2008, 06:35:42 AM »
walk in naked. open all the kethup sachets on the floor, roll around in it and hug everyone in the place, opening a packet of salt on each o their heads
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Ubuntu

  • 2392
Re: Smart/Dumbasses Wanted
« Reply #19 on: February 24, 2008, 09:26:18 AM »
Quote from: Username on February 22, 2008, 01:17:21 PM
Hire cheap college actors to break out into a full fledged musical in the middle of the store.

I have always wanted to do that. It would be supersaturated with win.
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Raist

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Re: Smart/Dumbasses Wanted
« Reply #20 on: February 24, 2008, 10:03:21 AM »
Oh I have a really good one. We go into McCdonalds and order one of every single item off the menu, and when they give us our orders we rape them..... So what do you all think?
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Mr. Ireland

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Re: Smart/Dumbasses Wanted
« Reply #21 on: February 24, 2008, 10:41:30 AM »
Nobody wants to rape a 400 lb man who can barely open his mouth due to his excessive fat.
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Trekky0623

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Re: Smart/Dumbasses Wanted
« Reply #22 on: February 24, 2008, 10:53:16 AM »
Maybe he meant rape the food?
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Mr. Ireland

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Re: Smart/Dumbasses Wanted
« Reply #23 on: February 24, 2008, 01:06:57 PM »
That would make sense.  I interpreted differently because of the use of 'they' and 'them'.
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theonlydann

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Re: Smart/Dumbasses Wanted
« Reply #24 on: February 24, 2008, 02:09:14 PM »
Take a shit in a Quarter pounder box, and put it in a bag. Go inside and Tell them you went through the drive through and this is what you received. throw it at the person working the drive through. Hilarity will ensue.
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James

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Re: Smart/Dumbasses Wanted
« Reply #25 on: February 26, 2008, 01:38:39 PM »
Quote from: Trekky0623 on February 24, 2008, 10:53:16 AM
Maybe he meant rape the food?

I think he meant the people because if not he just totally stole my idea.
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"For your own sake, as well as for that of our beloved country, be bold and firm against error and evil of every kind." - David Wardlaw Scott, Terra Firma 1901
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Raist

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Re: Smart/Dumbasses Wanted
« Reply #26 on: February 27, 2008, 05:45:06 PM »
I meant rape the people.

Hey anyone ever have an auditorium full of 200 people laugh at them before. I have. Every single person. Though it was actually nice, I'm even more famous at my school now.
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Mr. Ireland

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Re: Smart/Dumbasses Wanted
« Reply #27 on: February 27, 2008, 06:24:13 PM »
What'd you do?
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Raist

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Re: Smart/Dumbasses Wanted
« Reply #28 on: February 27, 2008, 06:45:45 PM »
I was talking to an assembly, I was introducing everyone, it was for Mr. (insert my school's name here). The whole thing got held up and i'm standing at a podium with a mic (all my friends knew something bad would come of that) So i say sorry for the delay i'd juggle for you but I don't have any balls.

Yes I did not think about this statement. The worst part is that every single person was laughing, including women too old to walk on their own. Pretty good moment overall. One of the judges wanted to let me win based on that comment but I wasn't a contestant.

If this sounds confusing this whole thing is an excuse to let class clowns dress in drag and rip off skits from random comedy shows.
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Smarmikus

  • 55
Re: Smart/Dumbasses Wanted
« Reply #29 on: February 28, 2008, 06:39:55 AM »
Steal the big plastic Ronald McDonald.  Put him somewhere he can truly be appreciated, like tied to the train tracks.  It's been done, but it should bee done more often. 
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