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Flat Earth: The Musical

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The Terror

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Flat Earth: The Musical
« on: January 22, 2008, 04:22:53 PM »
Act 1 Scene 1.

Rowbotham's study. Rowbotham is inside. The door opens and Rowbotham's father steps in.

Rowbotham: Hello father.

Rowbotham's father: Hello Rowbotham.

Rowbotham: Why do you never call me by my first name?

Rowbotham's father: I don't know what it is.

Rowbotham: Oh. Anyway, I have called you here today to give you some good news. I've made a new discovery - the earth is flat! I'm going to write a book about it and everything!

Rowbotham's father [bursts into song]:

Rowbotham, No! Don't do this to me!
Don't bring this disgrace on your family!
Why do you have to be an attention seeking whore?
Why can't you just go and die in some war?


Rowbotham:

Father, father, can't you see?
I'm doing this for all of humanity!
I'm going to prove the world isn't round
I think you'll find my science is sound

Rowbotham's father:

Rowbotham, No! you stupid little twit
Nobody will believe you, you're talking bullshit
I'm not going to stand here and listen to this
I'm off to the outhouse because I need to take a piss


Rowbotham: If that's the way you feel, father, then so be it.

Rowbotham's father: Mark my words, Rowbotham, you're making a mistake. Now I will leave, and I won't return until you give up all this nonsense!

Rowbotham: I will prove you wrong, father, I will!
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Midnight

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Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
« Reply #1 on: January 22, 2008, 04:23:42 PM »
*crickets*
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Quote from: Raist on September 06, 2010, 07:48:56 PM
My problem with his ideas is that it is a ridiculous thing.

Genius. PURE, undiluted genius.
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Saddam Hussein

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Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
« Reply #2 on: January 22, 2008, 06:07:54 PM »
Don't be mean, Mids, that was hilarious! ;D  When do we get scene two?
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Optimus Prime

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Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
« Reply #3 on: January 22, 2008, 07:18:57 PM »
Now if the pianist had a wire bust right towards the end, shearing the kick-post and simultaneously amputating the uplifted arm of the person holding the last refrain... then we'd have some seriously interesting shit!

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Dyslexics are teople poo!
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Loard Z

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Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
« Reply #4 on: January 22, 2008, 07:30:23 PM »
I'll upload the guitar version onto youtube. then maybe mids can do the dance remix.
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Quote from: eric bloedow on January 08, 2008, 04:03:12 PM
if i remember, austria is an old, dis-used name for what is now Germany.
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JackASCII

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Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
« Reply #5 on: January 23, 2008, 06:38:31 AM »
I want to choreograph the pyro!
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Quote from: Saddam Hussein on January 24, 2013, 11:12:34 AM
Yes, quite.  No one would ever claim to be someone they're not in their profile name.
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Saddam Hussein

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Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
« Reply #6 on: January 23, 2008, 07:29:46 AM »
Want MOAR of the musical.
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Colonel Gaydafi

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Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
« Reply #7 on: January 23, 2008, 08:23:45 PM »
pfftt not as good as my UN: The Musical

Still...keep it coming
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Quote from: WardoggKC130FE
If Gayer doesn't remember you, you might as well do yourself a favor and become an hero.
Quote from: Raa
there is a difference between touching a muff and putting your hand into it isn't there?
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Colonel Gaydafi

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Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
« Reply #8 on: January 23, 2008, 08:39:33 PM »
er you wanna start making sense any time soon?
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Quote from: WardoggKC130FE
If Gayer doesn't remember you, you might as well do yourself a favor and become an hero.
Quote from: Raa
there is a difference between touching a muff and putting your hand into it isn't there?
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The Terror

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Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
« Reply #9 on: January 27, 2008, 01:10:24 PM »
Act 1 Scene 2.

July 20th 1969, in a bar in America somewhere.

Barman: Look guys, the moon landing is on the tee vee

Barfly 1: Why, it makes you proud to be an American!

Barfly 2: Yupp, this is surely the pinnacle of human achievement!

Mysterious voice: I'm afraid not, gentlemen. This is nothing but a heinous lie!

The door opens and a man of indeterminate age walks in

Barman: Come in mysterious stranger, and have a drink

Barfly 2: Surely that's against the licensing laws, what with him being of indeterminate age and all. He could be seven years old for all we know!

Barman: Hell son, this is America. We ain't got no laws!

Mysterious Stranger: Let me introduce myself. My name is Tom Bishop.

Barfly 2: Anyhew, explain yourself Tom! This here on the tee vee is America's victory over the evil commie bastards and their crummie cosmo rockets, and you're saying it's a fake? You wanna get your head screwed on, boy!

Tom Bishop: It's quite simple really- we know the earth is flat, therefore Nasa must be a bunch of liars. If Nasa are liars, then the moon landing must be fake. If they've faked the moon landings, then they must be hiding something big, something they don't want us to know. That thing, gentlemen, can only be one thing - the earth is really flat!

Barfly 1: Holy shit! You're right!

Barfly 2 Goddamn motherfuckers lying to us!

Tom Bishop sings:

NASA is lying to us all
it's a big conspiracy
Only one thing you can do
Join the Flat Earth Society


Tom Bishop jumps on the bar and dances

Join the Flat Earth Society
Only the truth will set you free
Nasa's lies will fool your brain
Listen to me I'm not insane


Everybody else sings while Tom dances on the bar

Join the Flat Earth Society
Only the truth will set you free
Nasa's lies will fool your brain
Listen to Tom he's not insane


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Saddam Hussein

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Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
« Reply #10 on: January 27, 2008, 01:17:06 PM »
Yes!  A good update!
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Space Cowgirl

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Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
« Reply #11 on: January 27, 2008, 04:22:55 PM »
 :)  I like it.
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Quote from: Thork on November 27, 2012, 12:25:43 PM
I'm sorry. Am I to understand that when you have a boner you like to imagine punching the shit out of Tom Bishop? That's disgusting.
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Althalus

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Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
« Reply #12 on: January 27, 2008, 08:17:16 PM »
You skipped a century of material.
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The Terror

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Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
« Reply #13 on: January 28, 2008, 02:36:36 AM »
It's got one of those narratives that skips all over the place. You know, like a Quentin Tarantino film
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Oliwoli

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Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
« Reply #14 on: January 31, 2008, 03:35:09 PM »
How do we fit in a scene with a car boot?
I think quenten tarrantino gets a cameo as....hmmm.... i know he gets to be a man called skank, that would be bizarre and cyclical. The musical could end with him writing the first scene.
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ny Conspiricy without a secret society more than 1000 years old isn't worth thinking about
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The Terror

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Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
« Reply #15 on: January 31, 2008, 03:36:37 PM »
It's not that much like a Quentin Tarantino film, in fact it's not really anything like a Quentin Tarantino film at all.
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Oliwoli

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Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
« Reply #16 on: January 31, 2008, 03:47:58 PM »
its too late, the cat is already out of the bag! It turns out that Rowbotham's book is what was in the breifcase in Pulp Fiction.
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ny Conspiricy without a secret society more than 1000 years old isn't worth thinking about
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The Terror

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Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
« Reply #17 on: January 31, 2008, 03:50:59 PM »
Well, Travolta is a scientologist, so he's probably stupid enough to think the world is flat
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Oliwoli

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Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
« Reply #18 on: January 31, 2008, 04:02:54 PM »
Everyone's a scientologist nowadays. You'd think if they were just joining up to be popular theyd onvert to a religion that wasnt as despised as scientology though. Like zoroastrianism or something.
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ny Conspiricy without a secret society more than 1000 years old isn't worth thinking about
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The Terror

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Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
« Reply #19 on: January 31, 2008, 04:06:40 PM »
Act 1 Scene 3

Present day, Flat Earth Society meeting room

Tom Bishop: Dogplatter, Username, Engineer, Raa, Eric Bloedow, welcome to the meeting. I have grave news that concerns the Flat Earth Society.

Eric Bloedow: the Earth is not FLAT. Prove to me that the Earth is flat. You cannot, there is no EVIDENCE

Tom Bishop: You know Eric, sometimes I get the feeling you're not a true Flat Earth believer.

Eric Bloedow: No I definitely am

Tom Bishop: Anyway, this news concerns NASA.

Raa: Raa hate NASA! Raa kill puny NASA!

Tom Bishop: Settle down Raa. Back to business. My secret spy inside NASA has passed me some startling news... I have discovered what NASA have done with all that money they've hidden away over the years.

Engineer: That's some good spying work right there.

Tom Bishop: It turns out NASA have built a time machine!

Raa: Raa concerned with this development.

Tom Bishop: You are right to be concerned with this development, my friend. For NASA plan to go back in time and assasinate Dr Rowbotham before he writes Earth: Not a Globe!

Dogplatter: Those cunning fiends! They'll wipe out the Flat Earth Society in a single stroke of time travelling strokiness!

Tom Bishop: We have no choice, my friends and Eric Bloedow who I merely tolerate, we must go back in time and save Rowbotham!

Username: Shouldn't we sing a song first?

Tom Bishop: No, we don't have time. We'll sing a song in the next act.

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Trekky0623

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Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
« Reply #20 on: January 31, 2008, 05:18:08 PM »
I wonder when the troll is going to get it?

ADBLOCKED
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Colonel Gaydafi

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Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
« Reply #21 on: January 31, 2008, 10:29:09 PM »
Haha best act so far!
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Quote from: WardoggKC130FE
If Gayer doesn't remember you, you might as well do yourself a favor and become an hero.
Quote from: Raa
there is a difference between touching a muff and putting your hand into it isn't there?
?

Loard Z

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Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
« Reply #22 on: February 02, 2008, 06:16:02 AM »
When am I going to appear?

Obviously, I'm the conspiracy agent.
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Quote from: eric bloedow on January 08, 2008, 04:03:12 PM
if i remember, austria is an old, dis-used name for what is now Germany.
See My Greatness
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Jim

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Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
« Reply #23 on: February 02, 2008, 12:34:52 PM »
I like Raa's portrayal. 
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fshy94

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Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
« Reply #24 on: February 02, 2008, 02:33:22 PM »
Me too. This is blasted hilarious.
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Proof the Earth is round!
http://theflatearthsociety.org/forum/index.php?topic=19341.0

Quote from: Althalus
The conspiracy has made it impossible to adequately explain FE theory in English.
^^LOL!
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Username

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Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
« Reply #25 on: February 02, 2008, 04:21:39 PM »
<reinstalls finale>
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So long and thanks for all the fish
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Colonel Gaydafi

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Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
« Reply #26 on: February 02, 2008, 04:23:43 PM »
WE WANT MORE! WE WANT MORE! WE WANT WHORE! oops
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Quote from: WardoggKC130FE
If Gayer doesn't remember you, you might as well do yourself a favor and become an hero.
Quote from: Raa
there is a difference between touching a muff and putting your hand into it isn't there?
?

fshy94

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  • ^^^ This is the Earth ...die alien invaders!!
Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
« Reply #27 on: February 03, 2008, 12:52:42 PM »
We do want more. You should stick some more of us in there(*Not so subtle hint that I want to be an antagonist*)
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Proof the Earth is round!
http://theflatearthsociety.org/forum/index.php?topic=19341.0

Quote from: Althalus
The conspiracy has made it impossible to adequately explain FE theory in English.
^^LOL!
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Colonel Gaydafi

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Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
« Reply #28 on: February 03, 2008, 12:55:35 PM »
Stick fshy in but kill him off straight away. And let me be the person that kills him.
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Quote from: WardoggKC130FE
If Gayer doesn't remember you, you might as well do yourself a favor and become an hero.
Quote from: Raa
there is a difference between touching a muff and putting your hand into it isn't there?
?

The Terror

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Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
« Reply #29 on: February 04, 2008, 04:24:05 PM »
Z, fshy and Gayer. Righto.
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