advice for a grieving kid

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advice for a grieving kid
« on: December 14, 2008, 05:02:09 PM »
  trawling through another discussion site recently I came across a thread from a 17 year old kid who had written " my dad died, what do I do. It was followed by much emotional cliche about "remembering the good times" and allowing yourself to go through the process etc etc. There was even a picture of a rose.Look, I hope it helps, but I stumbled on my own coping strategy when my own father kicked on prematurely.First I got shitfaced at the wake, then proceeding to a normally sedate bar, I started a riot. When the dozen or so cops with dogs had finally calmed things down it would seem I had punched one of them in the face. The resulting injuries and legal complications were so engrossing I hardly thought of dear old Dad, greatly diminishing my grief.Win Win. My question is would it help this poor kid to know about it? Does any one else have any advice for him?

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Raist

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Re: advice for a grieving kid
« Reply #1 on: December 14, 2008, 05:04:56 PM »
I say that's a horrible plan. My advice is hang out with his dad's friends. I know it sounds dumb, but the stories they tell will bring you closer to him than you thought. I mean the friends that drove across the state that knew him forever, not the guys from the office.

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Cinlef

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Re: advice for a grieving kid
« Reply #2 on: December 14, 2008, 05:17:23 PM »
I say that's a horrible plan. My advice is hang out with his dad's friends. I know it sounds dumb, but the stories they tell will bring you closer to him than you thought. I mean the friends that drove across the state that knew him forever, not the guys from the office.

Good advice though I'd say family in addition to friends

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Cinlef
Truth is great and will prevail-Thomas Jefferson

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Raist

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Re: advice for a grieving kid
« Reply #3 on: December 14, 2008, 05:19:53 PM »
I say that's a horrible plan. My advice is hang out with his dad's friends. I know it sounds dumb, but the stories they tell will bring you closer to him than you thought. I mean the friends that drove across the state that knew him forever, not the guys from the office.

Good advice though I'd say family in addition to friends

An advising
Cinlef

Usually friends laugh more easily than family, but I guess in high school we all felt like family...

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Sexual Harassment Panda

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Re: advice for a grieving kid
« Reply #4 on: December 14, 2008, 07:02:15 PM »
The weird thing about me, is that after someone dies, I sort of just forget about them, yes while no one serious has died, just pets and grandparents, I just never think about them again. I'm not sure if this will work with my parents though.
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Raist

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Re: advice for a grieving kid
« Reply #5 on: December 14, 2008, 07:20:34 PM »
When it's someone closer it hurts a lot more. I've had a grandparent die and it didn't hurt that much, but when my friend died...

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Wendy

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Re: advice for a grieving kid
« Reply #6 on: December 15, 2008, 10:03:50 AM »
no one serious has died, just pets

You know, that depends a lot from one pet to another. I've had three cats die over the years, and the first two I was never really sad for. The last one was a lot worse, and I still miss her now, half a year on.
Here's an explanation for ya. Lurk moar. Every single point you brought up has been posted, reposted, debated and debunked. There is a search function on this forum, and it is very easy to use.

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cmdshft

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Re: advice for a grieving kid
« Reply #7 on: December 15, 2008, 10:06:20 AM »
I smile and laugh when people I hate die. Is this win?

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Wendy

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Re: advice for a grieving kid
« Reply #8 on: December 15, 2008, 10:09:19 AM »
Y
Here's an explanation for ya. Lurk moar. Every single point you brought up has been posted, reposted, debated and debunked. There is a search function on this forum, and it is very easy to use.

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Moonlit

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Re: advice for a grieving kid
« Reply #9 on: December 15, 2008, 10:21:23 AM »
When it's someone closer it hurts a lot more. I've had a grandparent die and it didn't hurt that much, but when my friend died...

Me too....I haven't set foot in a Jetta since.  Fucking german auto makers.  The airbag didn't deploy.  He was 22 years old.  I should stop typing before I go into a rant...
You think that a photograph is indisputable evidence?  Would you like me to show you a photograph of Barack Obama having sex with a gorilla?

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Space Cowgirl

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Re: advice for a grieving kid
« Reply #10 on: December 15, 2008, 11:51:47 AM »
People who post about a death on the internet are looking for some kind words and some virtual shoulders to cry on (if they're being serious).  Just being nice to the kid is really all he needs, he'll have to figure out how to cope with the loss in RL.

The only death I've experienced that effected me a lot was when my grandpa died.  He was one of those really great grandpas who took me all over the place, taught me how to drive a stick shift, etc..   I was right there with him when he finally stopped breathing.  He was suffering, so his death was probably a relief for him, but it was so sad for me, it still is. 
I'm sorry. Am I to understand that when you have a boner you like to imagine punching the shit out of Tom Bishop? That's disgusting.

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Sean

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Re: advice for a grieving kid
« Reply #11 on: December 15, 2008, 01:31:47 PM »
I smile and laugh when people I hate die. Is this win?

No. That's fucked up.
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Better bring a better augment, something not so stupid.

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Raist

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Re: advice for a grieving kid
« Reply #12 on: December 15, 2008, 01:32:56 PM »
There's two people I know that could die, and the only people I'd feel sorry for are the people that cared about them.

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Sean

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Re: advice for a grieving kid
« Reply #13 on: December 15, 2008, 01:35:04 PM »
I knew a kid with cancer, he was pretty much an asshole. When he died I felt bad. He was still a human who I've known personally.
Quote from: sokarul
Better bring a better augment, something not so stupid.

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Raist

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Re: advice for a grieving kid
« Reply #14 on: December 15, 2008, 01:37:21 PM »
I knew a kid with cancer, he was pretty much an asshole. When he died I felt bad. He was still a human who I've known personally.

These two people ruined my life to the point I really thought it wasn't worth living. Both of them blame me for all that happened, and spent every day they were near me trying to make my life just a little bit worse. They both have treated other people I care about in ways that are subhuman, and one went as far as to start a rumor I'm the reason my friend killed myself. I could kill either of them with a smile.

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Sean

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Re: advice for a grieving kid
« Reply #15 on: December 15, 2008, 01:41:31 PM »
Well that I understand. They seem pretty messed up. Depends on how people use the word hate. I use it more for people I dislike a lot. I guess you know what I mean. 
Quote from: sokarul
Better bring a better augment, something not so stupid.