Soft British judge sets sex offender free

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Soft British judge sets sex offender free
« on: October 28, 2007, 02:13:09 PM »


http://tinyurl.com/26xy7p

A man has been placed on the sex offenders’ register after being caught trying to have sex with a bicycle.

Robert Stewart was discovered in his room by two cleaners at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr, south west Scotland, in October last year.

On Wednesday Mr Stewart admitted to sexual breach of the peace in Ayr Sheriff Court, where depute fiscal Gail Davidson described how he had been found by the hostel workers.

She said: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply."

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

Both witnesses, who were extremely shocked, notified the hotel manager, who in turn alerted the police.

Mr Stewart was placed on the sex offenders’ register but his sentence was deferred until next month.

He is not the first man to be convicted of a sexual offence involving an inanimate object, however.

Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs, in 1993.


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Conspiracy Mastermind

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Re: Soft British judge sets sex offender free
« Reply #1 on: October 28, 2007, 02:59:54 PM »
I'd imagine that if the bicycle had pressed charges, he would be behind bars now.
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Loard Z

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Re: Soft British judge sets sex offender free
« Reply #2 on: October 28, 2007, 05:01:17 PM »
who the fuck cares what he does in his own fucking bedroom.

If he wants to fuck bycicles, let him.

More women for me to choose from!!!
if i remember, austria is an old, dis-used name for what is now Germany.
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Space Cowgirl

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Re: Soft British judge sets sex offender free
« Reply #3 on: October 28, 2007, 05:36:12 PM »
I didn't know it was illegal to have sex with a bicycle  :)
I'm sorry. Am I to understand that when you have a boner you like to imagine punching the shit out of Tom Bishop? That's disgusting.

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[][][]

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Re: Soft British judge sets sex offender free
« Reply #4 on: October 28, 2007, 06:09:52 PM »
I didn't know it was illegal to have sex with a bicycle  :)

It is if the bicycle does not consent.
The folly of mistaking a paradox for a discovery, a metaphor for a proof, a torrent of verbiage for a spring of capital truths, and oneself for an oracle, is inborn in us. -Some Frenchy

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Space Cowgirl

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Re: Soft British judge sets sex offender free
« Reply #5 on: October 28, 2007, 06:39:25 PM »
Ah.. so surprise sex with a bicycle is against the law. 
I'm sorry. Am I to understand that when you have a boner you like to imagine punching the shit out of Tom Bishop? That's disgusting.

Re: Soft British judge sets sex offender free
« Reply #6 on: October 28, 2007, 06:40:08 PM »
If he wants to fuck bycicles, let him.

Society needs to be protected from dirty pedalfiles.

Re: Soft British judge sets sex offender free
« Reply #7 on: October 28, 2007, 06:44:19 PM »
I didn't know it was illegal to have sex with a bicycle  :)

Illegal?  A big sick bird? :)

You are obviously more experienced in these matters:  how is it done?
« Last Edit: October 28, 2007, 08:46:25 PM by Sara H B Ranson »

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Torn Bishop

Re: Soft British judge sets sex offender free
« Reply #8 on: October 28, 2007, 06:44:50 PM »
Ah.. so surprise sex with a bicycle is against the law. 
Yeh the saddle is there for a reason, please stop taking it off.

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Loard Z

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Re: Soft British judge sets sex offender free
« Reply #9 on: October 28, 2007, 06:45:21 PM »
If he wants to fuck bycicles, let him.

Society needs to be protected from dirty pedalfiles.

the definition of a peadophile (british and correct spelling,) is someone who has sex with children.

I most definitely have a problem with someone having sex with children, and I think these people should be jailed. However, someone having sex with a bycicle is just a little bit more imaginative than a woman using a dildo. It's an inanimate object, he was in his own private room, he should not be placed on any sex offenders list. Who the fuck did he offend? The cleaners that broke down his door to watch him masturbate? They should be on the fucking lilst.

[/rant]
if i remember, austria is an old, dis-used name for what is now Germany.
See My Greatness

Re: Soft British judge sets sex offender free
« Reply #10 on: October 28, 2007, 07:26:56 PM »
However, someone having sex with a bycicle is just a little bit more imaginative than a woman using a dildo. It's an inanimate object, he was in his own private room, he should not be placed on any sex offenders list. Who the fuck did he offend? The cleaners that broke down his door to watch him masturbate? They should be on the fucking lilst.

But what if he had been abusing an innocent young tricycle?



He should have been sent down for ten years.

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Loard Z

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Re: Soft British judge sets sex offender free
« Reply #11 on: October 28, 2007, 08:06:10 PM »
I just hope you aren't being serious. That's the last thing I'm saying on this matter.
if i remember, austria is an old, dis-used name for what is now Germany.
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Space Cowgirl

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Re: Soft British judge sets sex offender free
« Reply #12 on: October 29, 2007, 09:11:53 AM »
What if that bicycle was asking for it?  Probably got him drunk and flashed its sprockets at him.   

If bicycle sex is illegal I should probably stop telling people I named my shower massage Captain Kirk  :)
I'm sorry. Am I to understand that when you have a boner you like to imagine punching the shit out of Tom Bishop? That's disgusting.

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Colonel Gaydafi

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Re: Soft British judge sets sex offender free
« Reply #13 on: October 29, 2007, 09:17:20 AM »
If he wants to fuck bycicles, let him.

Society needs to be protected from dirty pedalfiles.

hahahhahaha
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theonlydann

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Re: Soft British judge sets sex offender free
« Reply #14 on: October 29, 2007, 09:27:02 AM »
What if that bicycle was asking for it?  Probably got him drunk and flashed its sprockets at him.   

If bicycle sex is illegal I should probably stop telling people I named my shower massage Captain Kirk  :)
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Space Cowgirl

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Re: Soft British judge sets sex offender free
« Reply #15 on: October 29, 2007, 09:30:51 AM »
OK, but we're not gonna have a three-way with that bicycle. 
I'm sorry. Am I to understand that when you have a boner you like to imagine punching the shit out of Tom Bishop? That's disgusting.

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theonlydann

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Re: Soft British judge sets sex offender free
« Reply #16 on: October 29, 2007, 09:31:45 AM »
ok. But... we can have a three way with a  kite.... or something kite like?

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Space Cowgirl

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Re: Soft British judge sets sex offender free
« Reply #17 on: October 29, 2007, 09:37:04 AM »
Kites are hawt.
I'm sorry. Am I to understand that when you have a boner you like to imagine punching the shit out of Tom Bishop? That's disgusting.

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theonlydann

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Re: Soft British judge sets sex offender free
« Reply #18 on: October 29, 2007, 09:41:34 AM »
youre a kite.

Re: Soft British judge sets sex offender free
« Reply #19 on: October 29, 2007, 04:52:39 PM »
He gave two underage tires blow jobs.  Be careful when you remove your gear, even on a mounting bike.  :)
« Last Edit: October 29, 2007, 08:14:19 PM by Sara H B Ranson »

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Space Cowgirl

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Re: Soft British judge sets sex offender free
« Reply #20 on: October 30, 2007, 09:44:41 AM »
I'm sure he can get out of that one by claiming he was just pumping up the tires.   :P
I'm sorry. Am I to understand that when you have a boner you like to imagine punching the shit out of Tom Bishop? That's disgusting.

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theonlydann

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Re: Soft British judge sets sex offender free
« Reply #21 on: October 30, 2007, 10:04:02 AM »
i wanna pump YOUR tires.

Re: Soft British judge sets sex offender free
« Reply #22 on: October 31, 2007, 09:00:16 PM »
I'm sure he can get out of that one by claiming he was just pumping up the tires.   :P

He needs a spokesman, but no one wants to get saddled with the responsibility.

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TheEngineer

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Re: Soft British judge sets sex offender free
« Reply #23 on: October 31, 2007, 09:26:03 PM »
If he wants to fuck bycicles, let him.

Society needs to be protected from dirty pedalfiles.

the definition of a peadophile (british and correct spelling,) is someone who has sex with children.

I most definitely have a problem with someone having sex with children, and I think these people should be jailed. However, someone having sex with a bycicle is just a little bit more imaginative than a woman using a dildo. It's an inanimate object, he was in his own private room, he should not be placed on any sex offenders list. Who the fuck did he offend? The cleaners that broke down his door to watch him masturbate? They should be on the fucking lilst.

[/rant]
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