Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

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Jimmy Crackhorn

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Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian
« on: August 21, 2007, 12:01:43 AM »
10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.
 
9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.
 
8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.
 
7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!
 
6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.
 
5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.
 
4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering.  And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

 
3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.
 
2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers.  You consider that to be evidence that prayer works.  And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.
 
1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

http://www.evilbible.com/Top_Ten_List.htm

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cmdshft

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Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian
« Reply #1 on: August 21, 2007, 12:04:04 AM »
Old.

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divito the truthist

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Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian
« Reply #2 on: August 21, 2007, 12:05:00 AM »
Old, but pretty good list. You can have a cookie for the effort.
Our existentialist, relativist, nihilist, determinist, fascist, eugenicist moderator hath returned.
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Tom Bishop

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Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian
« Reply #3 on: August 21, 2007, 09:32:04 AM »
Quote
9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

Doesn't evolution also imply that humans were created from dirt?


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Roundy the Truthinessist

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Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian
« Reply #5 on: August 21, 2007, 10:17:36 AM »
Eh, I've never seen it.  I laughed.  :D
Where did you educate the biology, in toulet?

Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian
« Reply #6 on: August 21, 2007, 10:35:34 AM »
Quote
9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

Doesn't evolution also imply that humans were created from dirt?

Is dirt alive ???

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Raist

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Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian
« Reply #7 on: August 21, 2007, 10:56:51 AM »
Quote
9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

Doesn't evolution also imply that humans were created from dirt?

nope, organic matter in the ocean.

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Jimmy Crackhorn

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Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian
« Reply #8 on: August 21, 2007, 11:22:42 AM »
I thought I heard that it was atmospheric molecules, but I think this whole thing is speculated. And Tom, aren't you atheist?

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Nomad

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Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian
« Reply #9 on: August 21, 2007, 11:48:10 AM »
Quote
9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

Doesn't evolution also imply that humans were created from dirt?

Evolution has nothing to do with the beginning of life--only the progress afterward.  Abiogenesis is completely separate.
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CookieMonster

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Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian
« Reply #10 on: August 23, 2007, 10:40:47 AM »
Old, but pretty good list. You can have a cookie for the effort.
Me was supposed to post it!!!!! >:(
Me lost me cookie at the disco (please come back!)
Me lost me cookie in the boogie music
Me lost me cookie at the disco (ooh-ooh)
Me want it back (I want it back!), me want it back again!

Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian
« Reply #11 on: August 23, 2007, 04:58:19 PM »
Old, but pretty good list. You can have a cookie for the effort.
Me was supposed to post it!!!!! >:(

-gives him two cookies-  Don't go asploding on us, now....

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Midnight

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Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian
« Reply #12 on: August 23, 2007, 05:04:04 PM »
Old, but pretty good list. You can have a cookie for the effort.

/signed
My problem with his ideas is that it is a ridiculous thing.

Genius. PURE, undiluted genius.

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TheRationalTheist

Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian
« Reply #13 on: September 24, 2007, 07:57:41 PM »

I should have looked at this in a rational discourse
10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.
 
9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.
 
8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.
 
7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!
 
6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.
 
5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.
 
4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering.  And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

 
3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.
 
2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers.  You consider that to be evidence that prayer works.  And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.
 
1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

http://www.evilbible.com/Top_Ten_List.htm

10 - Well, yes we do deny the existence of other dieties, so do you and so does everyone who believes in only one God or a few gods and no other God or pantheon of gods. This is not unique to fundimentalist Christianity. I thought that atleast you would know that.

9 - Well, first of all millions of Christians believe that God used Evolution to create life, and second of all most of us do not feel dehumanized when we are reffered to as descendants of Apes.

8 - there is nothing polytheistic about a triune God, God the Father is the mind, the originator of all things created, the Holy Spirit is the spirit of God pervading the world and speaking to men. God the son is the physical manifestation of the infinite God. Polytheism on the other hand states that more then one deity exists.

7 - the massacre of the first-born in Egypt was because of Pharoah's obstainance, he refused to obey God and therefore he caused the death of the babies in Egypt. Joshua wiped out entire ethnic communities because they were burning their own children, practicing bestiality, and prostitution. There were good reasons to destroy these peoples. And he destroyed trees! Oh My! The horrors!

6 - Jesus was not a demigod but 100% God and 100% Man. He was God not the biological son of God. And the Holy Spirit did not (as you appear to imply he did) sleep with Marry. More his spirit entered her womb and inhabited an ovum (that is how I picture it atleast).

5 - We (atleast I) do not believe a tribe of illiterate herdsmen wrote the first books of the bible, but that knoweldgeable scribes and historians wrote the Septuagent and it was later edited by Moses. Also many fundimentalist christians do not believe in Young Earth Creationism

4 - That is not what we believe, more we believe members of other sects of Christianity to be seperate bretheren in the church who will also spend eternity in Heaven.

3 - Not actually, more it is when two people who do not speak the same language or eachother's languages speak to eachother in their own tongues and understand eachother. Any idiot could roll on the ground spouting jibborish and say it is a Heavenly language.

2 - Those experiments were flawed, they had them read their prayers off scripts rather then having the spirit lead them. So they were not really praying. Secondly We do not account that as proof that prayer works

1 - I am studying as much as I can about my religion and I hope others do too. I know alot about my religion. But some do not however.

Hopely this was more acceptable yours sincerely, The Rational Theist
« Last Edit: October 09, 2007, 05:59:04 PM by TheRationalTheist »

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Roundy the Truthinessist

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Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian
« Reply #14 on: September 24, 2007, 08:14:10 PM »
Top 2 signs you are ignorant about Christianity.

1) You imply you are a rational person, then profess a belief in God.

2) You assume that people who don't believe in God and make reasonable arguments against it are just plain ignorant about Christianity and the Bible.  They don't understand, that's why they don't believe!   ::)
Where did you educate the biology, in toulet?

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Nomad

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Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian
« Reply #15 on: September 24, 2007, 08:15:49 PM »
Top 1 sign you're a douchebag:

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.
 
9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.
 
8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.
 
7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!
 
6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.
 
5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.
 
4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering.  And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

 
3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.
 
2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers.  You consider that to be evidence that prayer works.  And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.
 
1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

http://www.evilbible.com/Top_Ten_List.htm

Here are the top ten signs yopu actually are rather ignorant when it cones to true Christianity.

10. You misunderstand the trinity thinking we are actually talking about three different "gods" and not different aspects of the same God.

9. You think the bible is full of contradictions even though all the contradictions have been explained to death.

8. All the christians you've met no nothing about the bible or most aspects of Christianity. So you assume you know more about the bible then they do even though you only two verses in your entire life.

7. You think that the problem of evil is a valid argument.

6. You assume all Christians are ignorant morons.

5. You think that God impregnated Mary through sexual means and assume that Jesus is God's biological son and not just a a physical manifestation of God.

4. You think we care if you look us straight in the eye and tell us our God does not exist.

3. you think that the more someone knows the bible the more likely they are to reject it.

2. You attack the faith of the unprepared and assume they are the toughest apologists.

1. You assume atheists are the most moral people on earth.

If I have said anything innacurately please tell me. And keep in mind this is not necessarily in order.


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Roundy the Truthinessist

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Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian
« Reply #16 on: September 24, 2007, 09:29:10 PM »
Top 2 signs you are ignorant about Christianity.

1) You imply you are a rational person, then profess a belief in God.

2) You assume that people who don't believe in God and make reasonable arguments against it are just plain ignorant about Christianity and the Bible.  They don't understand, that's why they don't believe!   ::)

Alright Yattering, you are an exception and did I imply that? I am sorry I didn't mean to. And also isn't that "theists are irrational" junk getting sort of old?

And by the way I happen to know a lot about Christianity, you just misunderstood what I meant by the word "evidence." I meant logical evidence not emperical evidence.

And lastly, the atheists I was talking about are not the normal kind.

It's not irrational to believe in God so much as anti-rational.
Where did you educate the biology, in toulet?

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TheRationalTheist

Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian
« Reply #17 on: September 24, 2007, 09:51:31 PM »
Top 2 signs you are ignorant about Christianity.

1) You imply you are a rational person, then profess a belief in God.

2) You assume that people who don't believe in God and make reasonable arguments against it are just plain ignorant about Christianity and the Bible.  They don't understand, that's why they don't believe!   ::)

Alright Yattering, you are an exception and did I imply that? I am sorry I didn't mean to. And also isn't that "theists are irrational" junk getting sort of old?

And by the way I happen to know a lot about Christianity, you just misunderstood what I meant by the word "evidence." I meant logical evidence not emperical evidence.

And lastly, the atheists I was talking about are not the normal kind.

It's not irrational to believe in God so much as anti-rational.

Why do you say that?

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Roundy the Truthinessist

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Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian
« Reply #18 on: September 24, 2007, 09:54:15 PM »
Because it's based on something with no rational basis.  Faith.  Have you been paying attention?
Where did you educate the biology, in toulet?

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TheRationalTheist

Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian
« Reply #19 on: September 24, 2007, 10:00:41 PM »
Because it's based on something with no rational basis.  Faith.  Have you been paying attention?

Well, if you'd like you can call me TheIrrationalDeist Also faith period can be rational;. I have faith that my chair will not collapse on me.

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Roundy the Truthinessist

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Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian
« Reply #20 on: September 24, 2007, 10:03:24 PM »
You probably have evidence that your chair won't collapse on you.  Hence, it is rational.
Where did you educate the biology, in toulet?

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Pope Zera

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Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian
« Reply #21 on: September 24, 2007, 10:29:17 PM »
[Caps Lock]

[Pissed Fundamentalist]

[Lack of knowledge of the scientific theory of evolution]

OMG WTF U FUKKIN TALKIN ABOTU EVOLUTONISTS THINK THAT STUFF RANDMLY CHANGS INTO STUFF 4 NO REASON U CANT RLY BELIEVE IN EVOLUTION ITS GAY BSIDES ITS JUST A THEORY LOL ITS A BUNCH OF BULLSHIT AND ITS ON WIKIPEDIA AND EVERYTHIN ON WIKI IS LIES UR SO DAMN DUM GO FUKK YOURSELVS UR GOING 2 HELL ANYWAY AND BSIDES W/O A GOD U CANT EXIST SO THAT PROVES ME RITE SO STFU

[/Caps Lock]

[/Pissed Fundamentalist]

[/Lack of knowledge about the scientific theory of evolution]

Theres nothing wrong with Christianity.  Fundamentalists just need to be hung.

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TheRationalTheist

Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian
« Reply #22 on: September 24, 2007, 10:55:28 PM »
You probably have evidence that your chair won't collapse on you.  Hence, it is rational.

Here are 4 rational reasons to believe in God.

1) The amount of order and complexity in the universe. The chances of it happening by chance are absurdly small.
2) We are so far the only intelligent life in the universe. This could happen by random chance but the chances of that are also small
3) Fine tuned universe, the universe appears fine tuned for th emmergence of life. We are in just the right position in the cosmos for complex life to evolve. It is not irrational to believe that this was the result of Design.
4) Moral laws appear to be discovered, not invented. A theistic approach is the better explanation for immaterial and non-man-made moral law.

These of course are not perfect and you will probably bring up reasons why you think they are wrong. But they are rational reasons to believe in God.
« Last Edit: September 24, 2007, 10:58:12 PM by TheRationalTheist »

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Pope Zera

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Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian
« Reply #23 on: September 24, 2007, 11:01:33 PM »
Yes, they are.  So I do believe the most logical solution would be to stop worrying about what happens when you're six feet under and let people believe whatever they want.

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TheRationalTheist

Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian
« Reply #24 on: September 24, 2007, 11:08:16 PM »


2) You assume that people who don't believe in God and make reasonable arguments against it are just plain ignorant about Christianity and the Bible.  They don't understand, that's why they don't believe!   ::)

Oh yes, also, when did I even say that? Actually I never said that. I would not suspect you of being decietfull. Should I?

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Nomad

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Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian
« Reply #25 on: September 24, 2007, 11:31:19 PM »
Yes, they are.  So I do believe the most logical solution would be to stop worrying about what happens when you're six feet under and let people believe whatever they want.

Except people like Fred Phelps that use a two thousand+ year old book to justify stoning homosexuals.
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Roundy the Truthinessist

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Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian
« Reply #26 on: September 24, 2007, 11:38:31 PM »


2) You assume that people who don't believe in God and make reasonable arguments against it are just plain ignorant about Christianity and the Bible.  They don't understand, that's why they don't believe!   ::)

Oh yes, also, when did I even say that? Actually I never said that. I would not suspect you of being decietfull. Should I?

Check back through your posts, Peppy.  You've implied that people who were arguing with you or against Christianity did not know as much about the Bible as they claimed (or thought they did).
Where did you educate the biology, in toulet?

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Roundy the Truthinessist

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Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian
« Reply #27 on: September 25, 2007, 12:02:47 AM »
You probably have evidence that your chair won't collapse on you.  Hence, it is rational.

Here are 4 rational reasons to believe in God.

1) The amount of order and complexity in the universe. The chances of it happening by chance are absurdly small.
2) We are so far the only intelligent life in the universe. This could happen by random chance but the chances of that are also small
3) Fine tuned universe, the universe appears fine tuned for th emmergence of life. We are in just the right position in the cosmos for complex life to evolve. It is not irrational to believe that this was the result of Design.
4) Moral laws appear to be discovered, not invented. A theistic approach is the better explanation for immaterial and non-man-made moral law.

These of course are not perfect and you will probably bring up reasons why you think they are wrong. But they are rational reasons to believe in God.

1) This makes no sense.  What exactly makes order and complexity by chance such an unlikely proposition?  It is absurd to try to put a probability on something like that, because we have never seen an alternative.  It's simply the way things developed.  The universe is governed by physical laws and those laws shape the complexity we see in the universe.
2) Again, it makes no sense.  We are "so far" the only intelligent life in the universe?  No.  We are simply the only intelligent life in the universe that we know to exist.  There is a huge difference between the two statements.  Given the chain of events necessary to make life, and the vast distances between stars, this is in no way anything unusual.  It does not even suggest that intelligent life does not exist elsewhere in the universe.
3) Yes, it is.  There is a lack of real argument in this statement, hence a lack of logic.  First of all, it pretty much restates your first "rational" reason to believe in God (simply adding the element of life to the mix, but it's exactly the same argument), and second of all, there's absolutely no reason to believe that such elements don't exist elsewhere in the universe (in fact, you love probabilities as you've brought up the absurdly small probability that there would be order in the universe without a Creator; there is actually an absurdly high probability that the conditions necessary for life do, in fact, exist in many places in the universe, and thus intelligent life elsewhere is actually highly likely).  It's irrational because there's no reason to believe there is a reason for life.  Your premise is based on the assumption that life must have a purpose, and there's no reason that this should be the case.  It's a wild leap.
4) ROFL.  Moral laws are nothing but human constructs.  They are not discovered, they are invented.  You have it backwards.  Even if you could argue that there were some "master" moral laws that by rights should govern everybody, they would be based on the extremely human concept of empathy.  You've gotta be kidding.

There's nothing rational about any of your points.  In fact, I think they're all wild speculation.
Where did you educate the biology, in toulet?

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theonlydann

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Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian
« Reply #28 on: September 25, 2007, 04:22:30 AM »
Yes, they are.  So I do believe the most logical solution would be to stop worrying about what happens when you're six feet under and let people believe whatever they want.

Except people like Fred Phelps that use a two thousand+ year old book to justify stoning homosexuals.
if homosexuals wanna get stoned, that ALRIGHT. Legalize it.

Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian
« Reply #29 on: September 25, 2007, 05:00:17 AM »
if homosexuals wanna get stoned, that ALRIGHT. Legalize it.
Alright, Dannberry.
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