In light of the glaring holes that have been pointed out with the current "Oxford" and "Cambridge" theories of a Flat Earth, I thought I would do everyone on the FE side a favor and construct a working model that fixes these problems. It requires a slight expansion of the conspiracy theory involved, but it's much more internally consistent.
Note that I am not personally advocating a belief one way or another. I'm simply proposing a model of events that explains the phenomena we see in the world around us and maintains internal consistency. If you see any holes in this theory, feel free to point them out.
Question: So what is the Harvard Flat Earth Theory?
Answer: The Harvard Flat Earth Theory is a lot like other theories of the Earth's flatness put forward; in this model, the Earth is a more or less perfectly flat disc, being accelerated upwards at a constant rate, producing an effect that people confuse with gravity.
There are two main differences between this and preceding theories, that make this theory much stronger.
1) In this theory, instead of being tiny discs that hover over the Earth somehow, the Sun and Moon are
arbitrarily large sources of energy that are circling the known Universe at an
arbitrarily long distance from us. This explains why the Sun and Moon rise and set, and why the Earth is able to continually accelerate- the energy lost from the acceleration is being exactly replaced by the energy from the Sun and Moon, absorbed by the gigantic Earth-Mushroom.
Question: Wait, mushroom?
Answer: Oh, yes. In this theory, rather than being some random cylinder of rock, the Earth is actually supported by a mushroom. Well, it doesn't have to be a mushroom per se, but some plant-like form of life. This leads us to the next big difference:
2) Unlike in other FE theories, which are actually insidiously subtle attempts to conceal The Truth, only most of North America exists under the Harvard Theory. This explains why every real person sees the Sun arcing across the sky in the same direction. Of course, being the top of the Mushroom, the Earth is actually
slightly raised, so that some will see the Sun sinking behind the Horizon a little earlier than others.
Question: All of North America?
Answer: Good question. Well, most of North America, certainly. I've been to Canada and the East and West Coast, and Hawaii, so I know at least those are real. I'm not so sure about Mexico.
Question: What about all the people who claim to have been to Europe, Asia, etc.?
Answer: They're all part of the conspiracy to hide The Truth. Things like photos of Prague or Shangai are usually photoshopped or made in Hollywood studios.
Question: Wouldn't it be hard to keep a conspiracy this size a secret?
Answer: Actually, it wouldn't.
Answer #2: To be more precise, the conspiracy isn't a secret. Lots of people know about it. Think of all the people you know who claim to have been to London. They just never told
you about it.
Question: Wouldn't there be some evidence of the giant mushroom wall holding in the Earth's oceans?
Answer: No. Giant eskimos live on top of the world and throw rocks at any approaching ships. The very fact that no known photos of these giant eskimos have ever emerged is a grim testament to the thoroughness of this conspiracy.
Question: What does this conspiracy have to gain?
Answer: The first, obvious impulse is to say money, but alliances based around greed are notoriously difficult to maintain, especially over such a large network. I think the more logical explanation is that the conspirators are all members of a secret race of wombat-people whose only goal is to enslave the human race into complacency to harness our psychic energy.
Question: What about the other stars and planets?
Answer: They're just stars and planets. Duh. Do I have to explain physics to you?
Question: What about tides?
Answer: The giant eskimos enjoy swimming and splashing each other playfully. That's what causes tides.
Question: ...Radio waves?
Answer: Everyone who works at or knows how to operate a so-called radio is part of the conspiracy.
Question: No one's ever seen the eskimos swimming from their ship? Seriously?
Answer: Well, it
is a little unlikely. It's highly probable that most people who own boats are part of the Conspiracy, however.
Question: But if the Moon is arbitrarily large, what causes it's shadow? Also, wouldn't we still be going at a speed many, many, many powers the speed of light by this time?
Answer: You tell me, wombat-person. You're the one that's so hot for my soul.
Question: Congratulations on discovering our plot, puny human- little good though it may do you. How did you ever uncover our sinister agenda?
Answer: Logic, my friend- and a little thing called American Sticktoitiveness.
Viva la resistance!