The "Post Your Poem" Thread

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Midnight

  • 7671
  • RE/FE Apathetic.
Re: The "Post Your Poem" Thread
« Reply #30 on: March 29, 2007, 02:37:05 PM »
"Fictional Reunion"

Somewhere,
I tread a little harder than perhaps was taught to me how to do.
Somehow,
I let the years ease by without any inkling,
of just what all of this would come to mean,
after all was said,
and after all was over with.
Sometimes,
I can see you in my head,
a dancing dervish of "what could have been",
and I go quiet,
in the midnight of my afternoons.

Somewhere,
there are photographs of you, in boxes, on some shelf.
Somehow,
they crawl, and claw, their way up and out into the light of day,
never stopping to ask my memories how they feel,
never glancing backwards to the time when they were made.
Sometimes,
I ache for those times before now,
when I had no knowledge of men and their designs,
and I go quiet,
my innocence as dead as you now have become.

To a world that is ever-moving,
and a line of slobbering fools who are ever pushing,
my missing of you is only matched
by the unshakable reality I never got to say goodbye...


-Written for my mother
My problem with his ideas is that it is a ridiculous thing.

Genius. PURE, undiluted genius.

Re: The "Post Your Poem" Thread
« Reply #31 on: March 29, 2007, 02:44:19 PM »
"Sphere of No Form"

Cold and recalcitrant What is cold and recalcitrant? What are you personifying? Or is this a person?
the shadows muse of darker mornings muse is the oldest word in poetry. The equivalent of saying heart, soul, shard, etc. Also, what kind of shadows? Are you personifying the shadows? Or is the shadow a creature?
long since secluded in basements of memories A lot of sibilance in this line...sounds like slithering.
We stood and praised the arching corners 3rd person to second person...very confusing.
of a love denied and fastened to burning skins a love denied? Some sort of guilty pleasure? A person? This is confusing.
Reprints came out in sets of fifty Confusing.
and the surplus we used as bandages on our open stomachs What?

Our form
our function
has been lost to the ages
on pages
whose lettering is a font only dogs can read
Plead
and be damned for half the purchase price of our competitor Huh? This entire stanza is a big huh to me. What do the dogs represent? Why can only a canine read it? Is it a metaphor? What is it?

Silence
and a god is denied
Reprisal
and a skin is shed for something wetter, more malformed Who is this "god," is the god the shadows, the memories, the canine god that wrote this text? This is insanely ambiguous.

Malicious was the twilight of our youth
as the age of a thousand losses
losses which own real estate in hell
became the choir of the damned
singing to deaf deities with no pants on their cloven-footed legs What the fuck?

The seasons came and went
and the sphere of no form cast its magic
and upon our hands the scars from war
clinging like leeches in the reddened fleshes
were silent witness to our own self destruction What the fuck?

Seriously...I have never read a poem that tried so hard to convey something, and only conveyed total nonsense.

Perhaps you can explain? Because there is too much ambiguity in this for me to interpret it properly.
ah.

Re: The "Post Your Poem" Thread
« Reply #32 on: March 29, 2007, 02:45:03 PM »
Speak Easy

I told her it was about a hundred years ago
that we met.
I swear we were the bees’ knees,
roaring in the twenties,
drinking up the places where they spoke easy,
and we never cared about a word they said.
Our nights were spent
under the holler of quick music,
quick feet
and our slow jazzy love.
We just were out of contact
for those decades—
I told her, “Baby, I’m glad we’re back.”
ah.

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Midnight

  • 7671
  • RE/FE Apathetic.
Re: The "Post Your Poem" Thread
« Reply #33 on: March 29, 2007, 02:46:42 PM »
I enjoyed that piece. It reminds me of the work of Sylvia Plath. Recent write?
My problem with his ideas is that it is a ridiculous thing.

Genius. PURE, undiluted genius.

Re: The "Post Your Poem" Thread
« Reply #34 on: March 29, 2007, 03:01:07 PM »
I enjoyed that piece. It reminds me of the work of Sylvia Plath. Recent write?

It is recent, but I am not terribly familiar with Sylvia Plath. I will get more familiar with her though.
ah.

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Midnight

  • 7671
  • RE/FE Apathetic.
Re: The "Post Your Poem" Thread
« Reply #35 on: March 29, 2007, 03:09:16 PM »
I enjoyed that piece. It reminds me of the work of Sylvia Plath. Recent write?

It is recent, but I am not terribly familiar with Sylvia Plath. I will get more familiar with her though.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sylvia_Plath
My problem with his ideas is that it is a ridiculous thing.

Genius. PURE, undiluted genius.

Re: The "Post Your Poem" Thread
« Reply #36 on: March 29, 2007, 03:15:47 PM »
I enjoyed that piece. It reminds me of the work of Sylvia Plath. Recent write?

It is recent, but I am not terribly familiar with Sylvia Plath. I will get more familiar with her though.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sylvia_Plath

Wikipedia is in fact evil. I already checked that so far...I want to get a collection of her poems or something.

Apropos, explain that poem.
ah.

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Midnight

  • 7671
  • RE/FE Apathetic.
Re: The "Post Your Poem" Thread
« Reply #37 on: March 29, 2007, 03:17:00 PM »
No. I attempted to be nice, and you went batshit insane. Predictable.

I think I am done acknowledging you exist at this point.
My problem with his ideas is that it is a ridiculous thing.

Genius. PURE, undiluted genius.

Re: The "Post Your Poem" Thread
« Reply #38 on: March 29, 2007, 03:18:54 PM »
No. I attempted to be nice, and you went batshit insane. Predictable.

I think I am done acknowledging you exist at this point.

Batshit insane? Nah. You either explain that poem you wrote, or I will have to always accept it as batshit inane.
ah.

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Midnight

  • 7671
  • RE/FE Apathetic.
Re: The "Post Your Poem" Thread
« Reply #39 on: March 29, 2007, 03:56:59 PM »
When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.

The poem has no explanation that I wish to share with the likes of yourself. It's called "poetry". Interpret it at your own pleasure. I don't really care if you "Get it" or "Hate it".
My problem with his ideas is that it is a ridiculous thing.

Genius. PURE, undiluted genius.

Re: The "Post Your Poem" Thread
« Reply #40 on: March 29, 2007, 04:18:43 PM »
When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.

The poem has no explanation that I wish to share with the likes of yourself. It's called "poetry". Interpret it at your own pleasure. I don't really care if you "Get it" or "Hate it".

If that's poetry, then I've never written poetry in my entire life. I never knew putting as many RANDOM things as possible into a bunch of unorganized strophes with countless enjambments was poetry.

You're really stuck-up.
ah.

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Midnight

  • 7671
  • RE/FE Apathetic.
Re: The "Post Your Poem" Thread
« Reply #41 on: March 29, 2007, 04:21:41 PM »
Metaphor is above social labels. Really.
My problem with his ideas is that it is a ridiculous thing.

Genius. PURE, undiluted genius.

Re: The "Post Your Poem" Thread
« Reply #42 on: March 29, 2007, 04:24:58 PM »
Metaphor is above social labels. Really.

Being ridiculously subtle is NOT what good poetry is made out of; nor is being subtle like that. It doesn't make you clever, or intelligent.

I can make subtle connections that no one will get but me as well. Except unlike you, I want to COMMUNICATE an idea. That's what writing is meant to do: communicate.
ah.

Re: The "Post Your Poem" Thread
« Reply #43 on: March 29, 2007, 04:26:04 PM »
Disillusioned Grace

I swung my eyes into my skull,
and what they found was empty space.
A place of chaos, and random order—
Mangled memories, fuzzy faces, and my intellectual-loan I called a license
was inside my crippled cavity. I threw my eyes forward,
many stares were seen. A double-shot caramel macchiato espresso was in front of me,
with a table—gum stuck underneath,
and I could overhear Them speaking.
I, the coffee-house-revolutionary had
a reason to shut up.


---

This is as subtle as I'll ever get. Anymore subtle and the idea I want to convey won't be heard by anyone but myself. Only fart-sniffing pseudointellectuals think that writing really subtle is clever.
ah.

Re: The "Post Your Poem" Thread
« Reply #44 on: March 29, 2007, 09:58:47 PM »
Gotta Work

I like dreaming—
I lay in bed to sleep—
I feel piano wire
tying its way around my neck.
I wake up to shower,
and I make a rug in the drain.
I drive and watch people cursing
and screaming—
all of them screaming at me.
Why can’t I go faster,
or slower,
or perhaps just not go at all?
I arrive at work,
and I know I have to do
this job, or whatever.
Something tells me
this isn’t all I can do;
(but) People tell me
this is all I’m good for.
I used to wake up
and drag a comb
through my dark hair, down
to its curly roots.
I used to shower
and watch suds and water
disappear.
I’d go to school
and be able to hold my hands
in a fashion I chose.
I’d day dream
while gazing at the playground
and those word smothered breezes
from the teacher would blow over my head.
I think that was the way to live.
ah.

Re: The "Post Your Poem" Thread
« Reply #45 on: March 29, 2007, 10:00:41 PM »
Disillusioned Grace

I swung my eyes into my skull,
and what they found was empty space.
A place of chaos, and random order—
Mangled memories, fuzzy faces, and my intellectual-loan I called a license
was inside my crippled cavity. I threw my eyes forward,
many stares were seen. A double-shot caramel macchiato espresso was in front of me,
with a table—gum stuck underneath,
and I could overhear Them speaking.
I, the coffee-house-revolutionary had
a reason to shut up.


---

This is as subtle as I'll ever get. Anymore subtle and the idea I want to convey won't be heard by anyone but myself. Only fart-sniffing pseudointellectuals think that writing really subtle is clever.

K
here's my free verse poem about you

emo emo
why aren't you dead
emo emo
cut yourself please
« Last Edit: March 29, 2007, 10:05:04 PM by Robo Vauxhall »

Re: The "Post Your Poem" Thread
« Reply #46 on: March 29, 2007, 10:11:24 PM »
Disillusioned Grace

I swung my eyes into my skull,
and what they found was empty space.
A place of chaos, and random order—
Mangled memories, fuzzy faces, and my intellectual-loan I called a license
was inside my crippled cavity. I threw my eyes forward,
many stares were seen. A double-shot caramel macchiato espresso was in front of me,
with a table—gum stuck underneath,
and I could overhear Them speaking.
I, the coffee-house-revolutionary had
a reason to shut up.


---

This is as subtle as I'll ever get. Anymore subtle and the idea I want to convey won't be heard by anyone but myself. Only fart-sniffing pseudointellectuals think that writing really subtle is clever.

K
here's my free verse poem about you

emo emo
why aren't you dead
emo emo
cut yourself please

How is the poem emo? Errr...
ah.

Re: The "Post Your Poem" Thread
« Reply #47 on: March 29, 2007, 10:14:08 PM »
Disillusioned Grace

I swung my eyes into my skull,
and what they found was empty space.
A place of chaos, and random order—
Mangled memories, fuzzy faces, and my intellectual-loan I called a license
was inside my crippled cavity. I threw my eyes forward,
many stares were seen. A double-shot caramel macchiato espresso was in front of me,
with a table—gum stuck underneath,
and I could overhear Them speaking.
I, the coffee-house-revolutionary had
a reason to shut up.


---

This is as subtle as I'll ever get. Anymore subtle and the idea I want to convey won't be heard by anyone but myself. Only fart-sniffing pseudointellectuals think that writing really subtle is clever.

K
here's my free verse poem about you

emo emo
why aren't you dead
emo emo
cut yourself please

How is the poem emo? Errr...

All poems classify as 'emo writings'

Re: The "Post Your Poem" Thread
« Reply #48 on: March 29, 2007, 10:26:38 PM »
Disillusioned Grace

I swung my eyes into my skull,
and what they found was empty space.
A place of chaos, and random order—
Mangled memories, fuzzy faces, and my intellectual-loan I called a license
was inside my crippled cavity. I threw my eyes forward,
many stares were seen. A double-shot caramel macchiato espresso was in front of me,
with a table—gum stuck underneath,
and I could overhear Them speaking.
I, the coffee-house-revolutionary had
a reason to shut up.


---

This is as subtle as I'll ever get. Anymore subtle and the idea I want to convey won't be heard by anyone but myself. Only fart-sniffing pseudointellectuals think that writing really subtle is clever.

K
here's my free verse poem about you

emo emo
why aren't you dead
emo emo
cut yourself please

How is the poem emo? Errr...

All poems classify as 'emo writings'

Even Edgar Allan Poe?
ah.

*

Midnight

  • 7671
  • RE/FE Apathetic.
Re: The "Post Your Poem" Thread
« Reply #49 on: March 30, 2007, 12:30:40 AM »
Edgar Allen Poe DEFINED emo. We have him to thank for the cultural train wreck of Tim Burton, etc.
My problem with his ideas is that it is a ridiculous thing.

Genius. PURE, undiluted genius.

Re: The "Post Your Poem" Thread
« Reply #50 on: March 30, 2007, 12:49:40 AM »
Edgar Allen Poe DEFINED emo. We have him to thank for the cultural train wreck of Tim Burton, etc.

Edgar ALLAN!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111111111111 Poe did not define Emo :P

He defined psychosis, angst, and...OMG HE DID DEFINE EMO!
ah.

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Midnight

  • 7671
  • RE/FE Apathetic.
Re: The "Post Your Poem" Thread
« Reply #51 on: March 30, 2007, 01:44:15 AM »
Sprinks, my response:

The poem was written in large part for a community of which I am a moderator in the "dark and gruesome area" of poetry posts. It reflects upon the emotions and nuances of the community, the ups and downs that come with such things. Overall, it is about how, at the end of a day, a community has only the form we assign it. Basic gist.

"Sphere of No Form"

Cold and recalcitrant [the shadows on the following line tie into this]
the shadows muse of darker mornings muse is a direct reference to a site I am a mod on, by name]
long since secluded in basements of memoriesnostalgia, again for the site people
We stood and praised the arching corners this represents turns of events on the board
of a love denied and fastened to burning skins imagery dealing with flame wars
Reprints came out in sets of fifty contemporary play on words dealing with plagurism
and the surplus we used as bandages on our open stomachs open stomachs is a metaphor for people spilling their guts and again, flamewars

Our form
our function
has been lost to the ages
on pages
whose lettering is a font only dogs can read meant to convey mass ignorance
Plead
and be damned for half the purchase price of our competitor
metaphor for people who give up everything to win an argument, but lose their humanity (lol irony)

Silence
and a god is denied
Reprisal
and a skin is shed for something wetter, more malformed

metaphor dealing with the horror of blood that boils in veins when one is affronted

Malicious was the twilight of our youth
as the age of a thousand losses
losses which own real estate in hell
became the choir of the damned
singing to deaf deities with no pants on their cloven-footed legs

The seasons came and went
and the sphere of no form cast its magic people come and go on all forums
and upon our hands the scars from war
clinging like leeches in the reddened fleshes people bear grudges online sometimes
were silent witness to our own self destruction our community destroyed itself and was reborn anew

So basically, the entire poem was an emothgoth fucktard way of identifying with board drama, at a community. This poem was published in more than one location, but it was mostly written as a personal reflection on the drama, the honor, and the random insanity that internet web forums always bring to the table.

It was intentionally vague, so that when written, those on the site where it first appeared could appreciate its vagaries without needing to explain it, or need it explained to them.

Posting it here then, was my mistake I suppose. It was more to show some emotion, rather than enlighten.

« Last Edit: March 30, 2007, 01:47:13 AM by midnight »
My problem with his ideas is that it is a ridiculous thing.

Genius. PURE, undiluted genius.

Re: The "Post Your Poem" Thread
« Reply #52 on: March 30, 2007, 01:47:27 AM »
Sprinks, my response:

The poem is was written in large part for a community of which I am a moderator in the "dark and gruesome area" of poetry posts. It reflects upon the emotions and nuances of the community, the ups and downs that come with such things. Overall, it is about how, at the end of a day, a community has only the form we assign it. Basic gist.

"Sphere of No Form"

Cold and recalcitrant [the shadows on the following line tie into this]
the shadows muse of darker mornings muse is a direct reference to a site I am a mod on, by name]
long since secluded in basements of memoriesnostalgia, again for the site people
We stood and praised the arching corners this represents turns of events on the board
of a love denied and fastened to burning skins imagery dealing with flame wars
Reprints came out in sets of fifty contemporary play on words dealing with plagurism
and the surplus we used as bandages on our open stomachs open stomachs is a metaphor for people spilling their guts and again, flamewars

Our form
our function
has been lost to the ages
on pages
whose lettering is a font only dogs can read meant to convey mass ignorance
Plead
and be damned for half the purchase price of our competitor
metaphor for people who give up everything to win an argument, but lose their humanity (lol irony)

Silence
and a god is denied
Reprisal
and a skin is shed for something wetter, more malformed

metaphor dealing with the horror of blood that boils in veins when one is affronted

Malicious was the twilight of our youth
as the age of a thousand losses
losses which own real estate in hell
became the choir of the damned
singing to deaf deities with no pants on their cloven-footed legs

The seasons came and went
and the sphere of no form cast its magic people come and go on all forms
and upon our hands the scars from war
clinging like leeches in the reddened fleshes people bear grudges online sometimes
were silent witness to our own self destruction our community destroyed itself and was reborn anew

So basically, the entire poem was an emothgoth fucktard way of identifying with board drama, at a community. This poem was published in more than one location, but it was mostly written as a personal reflection on the drama, the honor, and the random insanity that internet web forums always bring to the table.

It was intentionally vague, so that when written, those on the site where it first appeared could appreciate its vagaries without needing to explain it, or need it explained to them.

Posting it here then, was my mistake I suppose. It was more to show some emotion, rather than enlighten.



This reminds me of cyber-culture poetry in a sense. I wish to get more into the cyber-culture kind of poetry, since it will be the next type of poetry (I am sure of it). I just had no idea what this poem meant, and now I think I know even less...link to these forums?
ah.

Re: The "Post Your Poem" Thread
« Reply #53 on: March 30, 2007, 01:48:11 AM »
Gotta Work

I like dreaming—
I lay in bed to sleep—
I feel piano wire
tying its way around my neck.
I wake up to shower,
and I make a rug in the drain.
I drive and watch people cursing
and screaming—
all of them screaming at me.
Why can’t I go faster,
or slower,
or perhaps just not go at all?
I arrive at work,
and I know I have to do
this job, or whatever.
Something tells me
this isn’t all I can do;
(but) People tell me
this is all I’m good for.
I used to wake up
and drag a comb
through my dark hair, down
to its curly roots.
I used to shower
and watch suds and water
disappear.
I’d go to school
and be able to hold my hands
in a fashion I chose.
I’d day dream
while gazing at the playground
and those word smothered breezes
from the teacher would blow over my head.
I think that was the way to live.
ah.

*

Midnight

  • 7671
  • RE/FE Apathetic.
Re: The "Post Your Poem" Thread
« Reply #54 on: March 30, 2007, 01:48:35 AM »
My problem with his ideas is that it is a ridiculous thing.

Genius. PURE, undiluted genius.

Re: The "Post Your Poem" Thread
« Reply #55 on: March 30, 2007, 01:52:27 AM »
I have registered, and now I need to wait...
ah.

*

Midnight

  • 7671
  • RE/FE Apathetic.
Re: The "Post Your Poem" Thread
« Reply #56 on: March 30, 2007, 01:52:43 AM »
Gotta Work

I like dreaming—
I lay in bed to sleep—
I feel piano wire
tying its way around my neck. facing the day?
I wake up to shower,
and I make a rug in the drain. lol that is nice. hair clogs ftw!
I drive and watch people cursing
and screaming—
all of them screaming at me. road rage?
Why can’t I go faster,
or slower,
or perhaps just not go at all? indecision
I arrive at work,
and I know I have to do
this job, or whatever.
Something tells me
this isn’t all I can do; striving for more in life, noble. Most don't look ahead.
(but) People tell me
this is all I’m good for.
I used to wake up
and drag a comb
through my dark hair, down
to its curly roots.interesting imagery
I used to shower
and watch suds and water
disappear.
I’d go to school
and be able to hold my hands
in a fashion I chose.gloves? postures of your hands? mannerisms?
I’d day dream
while gazing at the playground
and those word smothered breezessilences surrounded by bustle, sweet moments
from the teacher would blow over my head. silence disturbed by instrusive humanity
I think that was the way to live. you prefer the life of the thinker to the laborer. not a bad thing


I like the end sentiment, it shows a process that doesn't negate one's perspective.
My problem with his ideas is that it is a ridiculous thing.

Genius. PURE, undiluted genius.

*

Midnight

  • 7671
  • RE/FE Apathetic.
Re: The "Post Your Poem" Thread
« Reply #57 on: March 30, 2007, 01:55:05 AM »
The admin and mods agreed that manual account activation is a must. We have been plagued by an army of bot registrations over the past couple of years, and they are attempting to curb that. I will let Jade (the owner) know to get you activated asap. Her online presence is spotty, but she will check her email soon.

Hope you like the place, your writing is most welcome, and you will find that, although the site is slow, we have very established writers present. You will fit right in  ;)
My problem with his ideas is that it is a ridiculous thing.

Genius. PURE, undiluted genius.

Re: The "Post Your Poem" Thread
« Reply #58 on: March 30, 2007, 01:56:27 AM »
I always find it strange how it's so ingrained in our culture how we must work incredibly hard, and if we do not work we are bad. Some people would say what you do (write) is not really a job, because you are not breaking any sweat unless we are talking about your mind. It's left-over crap from the Puritans/Pilgrims of Plymouth anyway. So I always try to always find a way to do something that doesn't require a ton of work...life is too short to be totally consumed in a 9-5.
ah.

Re: The "Post Your Poem" Thread
« Reply #59 on: March 30, 2007, 01:58:18 AM »
The admin and mods agreed that manual account activation is a must. We have been plagued by an army of bot registrations over the past couple of years, and they are attempting to curb that. I will let Jade (the owner) know to get you activated asap. Her online presence is spotty, but she will check her email soon.

Hope you like the place, your writing is most welcome, and you will find that, although the site is slow, we have very established writers present. You will fit right in  ;)

The bot problem is pretty serious...constantly updating forums can't solve how fast an asshole can create a spam-bot. What do you mean by established writers? Also, what medium do you go through to find editors/people looking to publish poetry/prose? I keep trying to find places to publish, but all the ones I found so far want Christian stuff. I want to talk about things far simpler than God. I like to write poetry about things that are really simple, and basic. God is too complicated, and too strange for me to explain.
ah.