Internet doesn't exist

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bd11

Internet doesn't exist
« on: March 17, 2007, 12:10:30 AM »
Disclaimer: Although I believe that the Earth is round, this is not actually part of the Flat Earth Theory.

Most of you have probably been brought up believing in the imaginary cyberspace called the Internet. I bet many of you even learned about it in school. I am here to tell you the truth.

Well, the fact is that the Internet doesn't really exist. Everything you have ever heard about it was made up, and any pictures of it you have seen were faked by the government. I am sure you have even talked to people on the phone who claim to surf the Internet. They are really secret government agents who are calling you to enforce these false beliefs.

We are not entirely sure why the government made up this imaginary cyberspace, or why it is trying to convince the world that this Internet is real, but we can tell you that we know for a fact that the Internet doesn't really exist.

Please join us in our quest to convince the world of the truth.
« Last Edit: March 17, 2007, 12:29:13 AM by bd11 »

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[][][]

  • 554
  • Man of science.
Re: Internet doesn't exist
« Reply #1 on: March 17, 2007, 12:46:03 AM »
Actually it is a well known fact that the internet does exist. It might also surprise you to learn that besides existing, the internet serves many not fake functions, such as sending information and viewing pornography, to even view this forum you need to connect to an "internet". The internet itself is just little packets of data send through fiber optic cables through HTLM/HTTP protocol (which everyone knows Saumuel Morse invented as a precursor to his more famous "Morse code"). Besides that no one really knows how the internet works. It is also a fact that the entire internet is centered around YOUR computer, so whenever you turn your computer off the internet ceases to work untill it is turned on again. I hope this helped to clairify things for you.
The folly of mistaking a paradox for a discovery, a metaphor for a proof, a torrent of verbiage for a spring of capital truths, and oneself for an oracle, is inborn in us. -Some Frenchy

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Pyrochimp

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Re: Internet doesn't exist
« Reply #2 on: March 17, 2007, 12:36:50 PM »
I think the internet is actually just millions upon millions of pixes in your computer that wear large squares of different colors.  When you type, click, or do anything that would make the image on your computer change, the pixies of correct color fly to the location their color pixel should be in.  Ever notice the similarity between "pixie" and "pixel"?  Think about it.  Pixel pixies.
Some people are ****ing stupid! ~ George Carlin

Mathematical proof of the flat Earth:
[{(Diameter of Earth)*(tan[distance from Earth to sun/distance from North pole to equator])}2]/0

Re: Internet doesn't exist
« Reply #3 on: March 17, 2007, 12:40:42 PM »
I think the internet is actually just millions upon millions of pixes in your computer that wear large squares of different colors.  When you type, click, or do anything that would make the image on your computer change, the pixies of correct color fly to the location their color pixel should be in.  Ever notice the similarity between "pixie" and "pixel"?  Think about it.  Pixel pixies.

No, " class="bbc_link" target="_blank">it's a series of tubes.

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Pyrochimp

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  • Senator Awesome
Re: Internet doesn't exist
« Reply #4 on: March 17, 2007, 12:42:14 PM »
*sigh* lamest attempt EVER.

Who, me?  Or that other lame-o.
Some people are ****ing stupid! ~ George Carlin

Mathematical proof of the flat Earth:
[{(Diameter of Earth)*(tan[distance from Earth to sun/distance from North pole to equator])}2]/0

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Pyrochimp

  • 577
  • Senator Awesome
Re: Internet doesn't exist
« Reply #5 on: March 17, 2007, 12:44:36 PM »
*sigh* lamest attempt EVER.

Who, me?  Or that other lame-o.
not you. the OP.

Sweet.  I thought you were disagreeing with my genius pixel pixies theory.
Some people are ****ing stupid! ~ George Carlin

Mathematical proof of the flat Earth:
[{(Diameter of Earth)*(tan[distance from Earth to sun/distance from North pole to equator])}2]/0

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Pyrochimp

  • 577
  • Senator Awesome
Re: Internet doesn't exist
« Reply #6 on: March 17, 2007, 12:48:12 PM »
*sigh* lamest attempt EVER.

Who, me?  Or that other lame-o.
not you. the OP.

Sweet.  I thought you were disagreeing with my genius pixel pixies theory.
Oh. That. I didnt bother to read it. But im sure it is far superior than the attempt to mock the aussie dont exist thread.

Why a stripper's shoe...on a paper plate?
Some people are ****ing stupid! ~ George Carlin

Mathematical proof of the flat Earth:
[{(Diameter of Earth)*(tan[distance from Earth to sun/distance from North pole to equator])}2]/0

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Miss M.

  • 1854
  • Screw you.
Re: Internet doesn't exist
« Reply #7 on: March 17, 2007, 12:48:53 PM »
Well, the fact is that the Internet doesn't really exist.
How ironic that you're posting on here then.
Quote from: TheEngineer
I happen to like GG.
Quote from: Z, the Enlightened.
I never thought in my life I'd write the sentence "I thought they were caught in a bipolar geodesic?"

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Pyrochimp

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  • Senator Awesome
Re: Internet doesn't exist
« Reply #8 on: March 17, 2007, 12:51:41 PM »
*sigh* lamest attempt EVER.

Who, me?  Or that other lame-o.
not you. the OP.

Sweet.  I thought you were disagreeing with my genius pixel pixies theory.
Oh. That. I didnt bother to read it. But im sure it is far superior than the attempt to mock the aussie dont exist thread.

Why a stripper's shoe...on a paper plate?
a stripper left her shoe in my car. So i put it on a paper plate. and took a picture of it. :-)

Hm.  Are you gonna give it back?  If so, will you tell her the shoe is famous now?
Some people are ****ing stupid! ~ George Carlin

Mathematical proof of the flat Earth:
[{(Diameter of Earth)*(tan[distance from Earth to sun/distance from North pole to equator])}2]/0

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Miss M.

  • 1854
  • Screw you.
Re: Internet doesn't exist
« Reply #9 on: March 17, 2007, 12:53:29 PM »
how  high is that heel? 4 inches!?

....I hope she's not six foot without them on :P
Quote from: TheEngineer
I happen to like GG.
Quote from: Z, the Enlightened.
I never thought in my life I'd write the sentence "I thought they were caught in a bipolar geodesic?"

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Pyrochimp

  • 577
  • Senator Awesome
Re: Internet doesn't exist
« Reply #10 on: March 17, 2007, 12:57:32 PM »
Wait, so is that picture old, or did you just re-discover the shoe and say "hey it's that one stripper's shoe!"?
Some people are ****ing stupid! ~ George Carlin

Mathematical proof of the flat Earth:
[{(Diameter of Earth)*(tan[distance from Earth to sun/distance from North pole to equator])}2]/0

Re: Internet doesn't exist
« Reply #11 on: March 18, 2007, 05:07:11 PM »
I like the pixie theory.

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Midnight

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Re: Internet doesn't exist
« Reply #12 on: March 18, 2007, 06:11:32 PM »
This thread "shouldn't" exist.
My problem with his ideas is that it is a ridiculous thing.

Genius. PURE, undiluted genius.

Re: Internet doesn't exist
« Reply #13 on: March 19, 2007, 01:25:03 PM »
The internet is basically "filesharing", which is Ironic to say LimeWire or 360Share isn't legal.  It's just a load of files that are constantly downloaded and uploaded from millions, trillions of different "hosts", which are basically everybodies computers.  The internet is the collective name for these file transfers in a World-wide Network. 

Actually, It was created by a guy called Tim Bernes-Lee (who is not related to Tom from MySpace) so Military personal and the US government could share information through a Internal Network (Internal Network - InterNet, get it?).  However, it was such a good idea it began to be used for other uses by other Organisations until it was eventually used for Everyday use in the Home, At work, In school, On the Go etc.

No, 'cyberspace' as such doesn't exsist - every single site would have to uploaded to the same server for it to exsist.  Not even Google is this big - but then again, Google is a tricky thing, as are all search engines: for that is what they do.  They search through a list of sights to find keywords and receive "Hits", the more "Hits" the more relevent the site is to your search.

I knew second year IT would become useful one day.... Hope this clears things up.   ;D

It is proven:  Computer Geeks shall inherit the earth.
Pr00f you say:  look who's using a PC!!!

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Pyrochimp

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  • Senator Awesome
Re: Internet doesn't exist
« Reply #14 on: March 19, 2007, 01:43:05 PM »
How do the pixel pixes fit into this "theory" on the history of the internet?
Some people are ****ing stupid! ~ George Carlin

Mathematical proof of the flat Earth:
[{(Diameter of Earth)*(tan[distance from Earth to sun/distance from North pole to equator])}2]/0

Re: Internet doesn't exist
« Reply #15 on: March 19, 2007, 02:11:33 PM »
How do the pixel pixes fit into this "theory" on the history of the internet?

Every time you download or upload a file with this NetWork you are sent little items, i.e Cookies.  These cookies are very similar to fortune Cookies and have instructions in which the Pixies read and then they know where to go and how to form.   ;D

However, when they invented "BroadBand" they found a way to invent a time laspe so it only takes a second.  The Original 56K Internet was the "real time" version so to speak.  When the "Page not found - 404 error" page appears that's when the Cookies have been lost.  "Slow Connection" is when your Pixies are asleep.

I knew there way something I had forgotten.
It is proven:  Computer Geeks shall inherit the earth.
Pr00f you say:  look who's using a PC!!!

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Midnight

  • 7671
  • RE/FE Apathetic.
Re: Internet doesn't exist
« Reply #16 on: March 20, 2007, 09:10:53 AM »
The internet is basically "filesharing", which is Ironic to say LimeWire or 360Share isn't legal.  It's just a load of files that are constantly downloaded and uploaded from millions, trillions of different "hosts", which are basically everybodies computers.  The internet is the collective name for these file transfers in a World-wide Network. 

Actually, It was created by a guy called Tim Bernes-Lee (who is not related to Tom from MySpace) so Military personal and the US government could share information through a Internal Network (Internal Network - InterNet, get it?).  However, it was such a good idea it began to be used for other uses by other Organisations until it was eventually used for Everyday use in the Home, At work, In school, On the Go etc.

No, 'cyberspace' as such doesn't exsist - every single site would have to uploaded to the same server for it to exsist.  Not even Google is this big - but then again, Google is a tricky thing, as are all search engines: for that is what they do.  They search through a list of sights to find keywords and receive "Hits", the more "Hits" the more relevent the site is to your search.

I knew second year IT would become useful one day.... Hope this clears things up.   ;D



Which then means you are correct, the "virtual world" isn't in fact a world at all, but a cabinet.
My problem with his ideas is that it is a ridiculous thing.

Genius. PURE, undiluted genius.

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Masterchef

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Re: Internet doesn't exist
« Reply #17 on: March 20, 2007, 06:01:16 PM »
Hooray, another parody of my parody thread! ;D

Seriously, I think it is time to bury the Australia thread. Just let it rest in peace.

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Midnight

  • 7671
  • RE/FE Apathetic.
Re: Internet doesn't exist
« Reply #18 on: March 20, 2007, 06:44:51 PM »
Burying things doesn't exist.
My problem with his ideas is that it is a ridiculous thing.

Genius. PURE, undiluted genius.