i would like to have some proof

  • 4 Replies
  • 1690 Views
?

osbus

i would like to have some proof
« on: January 25, 2006, 02:45:26 PM »
i am doing a speech about why the earth is flat, and would like to have some proof so I can effectively convince my very skeptical audience
Thank You

?

Erasmus

  • The Elder Ones
  • 4242
i would like to have some proof
« Reply #1 on: January 25, 2006, 04:25:08 PM »
Oh, that's easy:

1)  It looks flat, doesn't it?  NOTE: not useful if your audience members are from Colorado, Switzerland, Tibet, etc....

2)  Everything the audience members were taught in school is wrong.  NOTE: not useful if your audience members disagree.

3)  The Church said so.   NOTE: not useful if it happens to be the 21st century.

4)  How could it possibly be round?  That doesn't make any sense.  NOTE:  not useful if anybody in the audience has a clue about how the Earth could possibly be round.

5)  Here's some pictures of the ice wall!  NOTE: not useful if your audience has ever heard of ice, or walls.  Also, see point 1.

That's the bulk of it.  Oh, you may want to make sure the talk doesn't take place in the southern hemisphere, because your audience will think you're trying to insult them.  Definitely don't let it take place at the south pole, which all flat-Earthers know doesn't exist anyway.  You'll want to make sure that none of your audience members is a pilot for a transoceanic airline, because they're all in on it; ditto for astronauts, professional cartographers, shipping company logistics officers, military personnel, astronomers, mathematicians, mountain climbers, boaters, satellite engineers, line-of-sight telecommunications engineers, bridge designers, highway designers, and anybody from the southern hemisphere.

Did I leave anything out, guys?

-Erasmus
Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip?

?

Cinlef

  • The Elder Ones
  • 969
  • The Earth is a Sphere
i would like to have some proof
« Reply #2 on: January 25, 2006, 04:35:58 PM »
Make sure the audience doesn't conain the following
Cinlef or Mundi or Eramus
and
any heavy throwable object
Truth is great and will prevail-Thomas Jefferson

I've said it before and I'll say it again, Cinlef is the bestest!

Melior est sapientia quam vires-Wisdom

i would like to have some proof
« Reply #3 on: January 26, 2006, 12:24:37 AM »
Yes, there was one point that was strangely ommitted. If there is any aspiring "round earth" comics in attendance it might be wise to provide some kind of loud laugh track to drown out the distracting groans/screams of the rest of the audience when said comedian attempts to showcase his awe inspiring "wit". You won't get any astronauts in the audience either because they are kept in guarded stasis and only released after several powerful brain wipes to perform controlled interviews by authorised puppets.

?

osbus

i would like to have some proof
« Reply #4 on: January 26, 2006, 02:34:11 PM »
all right thanks