Up in heaven, the dead townsfolks gather. Though they were in paradise, they still felt angry. They talked amongst themselves in the marbled halls of Heaven.
"You know whose to blame for this" said blanko "Dann."
"I agree." replied Saddam "His ignorance and stupidity allowed those wolves to win."
"Yeah, let's do this." cheered roundy.
It was then that Jesus materialized next to them.
"Lynch?" He spoke. His voice was soft yet it carried well. It was as though his whispers echoed throughout the hall. " Have you learned nothing? Lynching never solves problems. All it does is kill someone."
"Yeah but" Blanko questioned the almighty "he's already dead. What harm could it have?"
"When someone dies in Heaven, they go to Hell." Jesus replied.
It was then that Dann came in. Drunk, he swaggered over to the group and began talking. He wasn't able to form coherent sentences and he made one too many remarks about Jesus's mom.
"Let's lynch the fucker." Jesus said to the villagers. The anger in his eyes was not seen since he tipped over the collection plate in that temple two thousand years ago.
The angry, heavenly mob formed and rounded up dann. He was too drunk to know what was going on. They grabbed him and dragged him to the gates of heaven. Once outside, they proceeded to bash his face into the gate itself while Saint Peter as well as the various souls of recently deceased looked on.
After everyone got a turn, Dann was even worse looking than before, and that's saying something. He lay on the clouded ground, twitching every few seconds to show he wasn't dead again.
"So what now" Thork asked.
"I know. " Jesus said, an idea suddenly forming "you guys know how I can turn water into wine?"
General nods all around
"Well..." he continued, waving his hands in Dann's direction "I can also turn his spirit blood into fire."
Just then Dann glowed brightly and began to scream in agony. His soul was on fire from the inside out and he couldn't do anything to stop it. He clawed at his arm causing flames to shoot out. He ran around, yelling and screaming as he burned yet couldn't die. He fell off the great clouds and into the burning pits of hell.
Jesus and the gang chill for the next 10,000 years.
It is Eternity. You guys have infinite time with infinite pleasure. Enjoy.