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Messages - Jura-Glenlivet II

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The Lounge / Re: A Friendly Chat
« on: September 30, 2020, 02:31:47 PM »

Check........But it was my birthday and I'd drunk whisky (i got 5 bottles), which would explain the first, and not getting the Malibu Barbie, maybe the second?

The Lounge / Re: A Friendly Chat
« on: September 30, 2020, 01:47:00 PM »

Could be, that was my bedroom. how would I know?

The Lounge / Re: A Friendly Chat
« on: September 30, 2020, 06:58:34 AM »

 You folks over there across the pond have many an establishment that probably needs some exorcising.

It's true, everywhere we go it's headless horsemen, clanking chains and creaking doors, and believe me you have not heard a creaking door if it isn't at least a 3 centuries old piece of 4 inch oak on a rust pitted iron pin hinge.

The Lounge / Re: A Friendly Chat
« on: September 30, 2020, 02:52:57 AM »

Getaway 2;

So happy birthday 2 me (26th) and a surprise holiday.
Wifey booked this in January for 16 of us without me knowing, unfortunately due to Boris's incompetence she had to whittle it down to just six at the last minute due to " the rule of 6".

upside we had 5 bathrooms and a neat master bedroom.

A bit spooky come nightfall though, miles from anywhere no phoneline, shocking lack of signal.

The Lounge / Re: New posts per day statistic?
« on: September 29, 2020, 02:56:48 PM »

This is my only digital presense, never had (or wanted) twatface or bicker, I will die a little if this goes. Think of me crying into the void before you leave.

Flat Earth Debate / Re: London to Dusseldorf Flight? Are You Sure??
« on: September 29, 2020, 02:41:49 PM »

I have driven from Leicestershire, via Harwich-Rotterdam (ferry), stopped at Antwerp then on via Nijmegen to Dusseldorf in a 2.5 litre ford Grenada Mk1 (some time back) and unless the mileometer and the top speed of that fine machine were way out, the distance is as it is on conventional maps and your phew calculation are suspect.

FYI, this was before satnav was widely used, I used road maps.

The Lounge / Re: Jack o' Lanterns
« on: September 29, 2020, 02:23:09 PM »

I did this one last year (or the year before!)

then made soup with its innards, never just throw away the inside.

The Lounge / Re: Is the werepenguin site down?
« on: September 29, 2020, 02:18:32 PM »

Then why don't you come and play more? I miss you and your graphics.


Not sure what it is, but I care.

I remember picking fly agarics, drying and eating those and being very let down.

Philosophy, Religion & Society / Re: Seriously, wtf?!
« on: September 15, 2020, 02:40:36 AM »
I really don’t think it’s normal for “kids” to do that.

I have a daughter now in her twenties, her and her friends scared the shit out of me when they were growing up, but if at eleven they had turned up dressed like that and done those dances, I would have tied her to a radiator for the next six years, and I consider myself to be a liberal.

There is something very wrong with the culture of encouragement for this  kind of behaviour, the child will bask in the attention without realising exactly what it is she is offering, because that level of display will very definitely be seen as presenting her as sexually available.

Dance has always been a ritualised measure of fitness, coordination and sexual compatibility, the humping the floor, spread your legs version, dispenses with the ritual in favour of in your face this is what you’re getting, can you keep up, fine for an adult with an understanding of the ramifications, not at all fine for a child.

Philosophy, Religion & Society / Re: The face palm America thread
« on: September 14, 2020, 04:30:22 AM »

I mean this is sad;

But, but.... unless the US are using stealth harvesters, can this happen?

Philosophy, Religion & Society / Re: Seriously, wtf?!
« on: September 14, 2020, 01:39:47 AM »

It's the damn French I tell you, small wonder we went to war for a hundred years with them.

Arts & Entertainment / Re: Dune Movie
« on: September 11, 2020, 01:47:19 AM »
I loved the 1984 version.

I know. I'm a heretic.

I too loved this film, and hope they do it (the book) justice.


So, I upset Tusk, I didn’t mean to upset Tusk, it was meant to be light-hearted, but I used stereotypes (I blame Rab C Nesbitt) on the internet, and for some, well, just no.

Apart from Tony Blair I would like to state, I have no animosity whatsoever towards my rain drenched cousins to the north (fact not stereotype), as my wife is a Burns on her mothers side  that would not only be self-defeating but downright dangerous.
As such I unreservedly apologise and hope in doing so, I can encourage others in our community to heal their rifts, I enjoyed the safari joke but the Thork reference stung, peace.   


I was going to take the beggar to task for insinuating that I would stoop down to using cultural stereo types for cheep laughs, but then I realised that the pubs were probably still in lockdown wherever the hell he lives and he was probably suffering from withdrawal, so I let it pass.

Philosophy, Religion & Society / Re: The face palm America thread
« on: September 09, 2020, 04:15:21 AM »
TBH, it's not just Americans;

According to this flight,

Distance of my map: absent.

Rio isn't exist on my map, hence, I don't want to talk about it.

I've not been around here for a wee while now but I was seriously hoping we got rid of the fukin bat shit crazy wasting bandwith. Seems not.

In my world fuckwits like the op would be wired to the mains. I'll gladly throw the switch

Let Allah, Jehovah or whatever your imaginary friend in the sky is calling himself answer the question of Why Abrahamic faiths find a way to just fuck up the world for the rest of us.


Welcome back Tusk.

I fear that the rules of polite converation might have changed in your absence.  Please reduce the number of curse words by at least 50 percent.


I think that this time Crouts you are not taking into consideration the norms of differing cultures, If I am not mistaken this Tusk character hails from the reservation in the north of our isles called Scotland or Tartan World, as such words that are not spoken in polite conversation in Jesus land are used merely as punctuation above the wall (Hadrian’s), and this is taken as a local dialect and is permissible by law, due not in some small way to their local costumery having a dagger stuffed in the tops of their socks.

Philosophy, Religion & Society / Re: Why do you support donald trump
« on: September 09, 2020, 02:19:33 AM »

Antifa trained attack salmon.


Thank you.

Philosophy, Religion & Society / Re: Does Vladimir Putin exist?
« on: September 08, 2020, 12:33:49 PM »

Both my mother and father were called Vladimir, my dog was Ralf.
Your mother and father were both lesbians? Maybe your dog impregnated both of them.
Who has activated the hoppy bot?  His inane one-liners have suddenly started infecting the forum again.

I think its learning algorithms have latched on to Diddum's projecting his sexuality problems onto others, that mixed with its Trump retardation memes is bound to cause conflict. I predict a melt down. 

The Lounge / Re: I am a pillar of sorrow!
« on: September 08, 2020, 02:31:29 AM »

Conclusion; I had some kind of quasi rantic relationship with my car.

Remedy: this may sound extreme but I feel it's the only way to get closure.  I must go to the junkuard and fuck my old car. Only then can let it go.

This has the hallmarks of false idolatry, the natural culmination of the American dream, worship of the divine being supplanted by tall white gods, standing slack mouthed before ranks of glass fronted altars, full of more flavours of sacred ice cream than species left on the planet, your necroautophilia the unnatural union between the sacred car and its grieving slave, vain invocation to the Cybertronian autobots, you worshipped as children.
The great orange toad, master of lies, stands laughing atop his gilded tower, Hoppy will be pleased.

Philosophy, Religion & Society / Re: The face palm America thread
« on: September 07, 2020, 03:13:53 AM »
This made me laugh;

Several boats have sunk on a lake in the US state of Texas during a parade to support President Donald Trump in November's election, officials say.

"We responded to multiple calls of boats in distress, several of them sank," she said. "We had an exceptional number of boats on the lake today... When they all started moving at the same time, it generated significant waves."

The Lounge / Re: Help me Bom Tishop, you're my only hope
« on: September 07, 2020, 02:59:11 AM »
I am not Bom, let me make that clear, neither am I an alt’ of Bom or one of his groupies, Bom is not in my imagined company of friends here, neither do I consider him an enemy, I am to all intents and purpose, Bom neutral.

So, you can tell me to mind my own business here, but it would be too late as this is quite obviously already out there.

My point is you should buy the Tesla, you want it and your wrestling with the guilt is proof that this is (probably) not just some childish whim and if, heaven forbid, a friend of yours does get the Covid shuffle, they will be living in a marginally cleaner world courtesy of your choice of personal transport, and should you give them a lift to the foodbank one day they will be able to marvel as you silently humiliate lower echelon corvette owners off the lights, a no brainer.

The Lounge / Re: Antalya Girls With Coronamask On The Beach
« on: September 03, 2020, 03:28:21 AM »

Not cumulonimbus, they are towering anvil topped storm clouds, the ones you have there are either stratocumulus or nimbostratus.


Or you could stop acting like entitled children and grow a pair.

Philosophy, Religion & Society / Re: Does Vladimir Putin exist?
« on: September 02, 2020, 04:34:50 AM »

Both my mother and father were called Vladimir, my dog was Ralf.


Not true, NSS is gold, gold I say!

Puritania 6;

"Perception is more important than reality. If someone perceives something to be true, it is more important than if it is in fact true.”

With these words culled from her own book, (one of only a dozen books allowed by order of pope Donald I Including her personal favourite “Because your Daddy loves you” by Andrew Clements), Ivanka totally invents “The Ministry of Truth” from her own mind, Ironically never having read 1984 as she didn’t like history and only dimly aware of there being a Big-Brother Meme, which she took as “probably about rape”.

Using the adage; “Accuse the other side of that which you are guilty”, but badly.
She declares the Prime minister of Canadia steals from cancer charities, gives blow jobs for diamonds and the King of Europa’s fantasies include, wrapping his parents in razor wire and throwing them in an ice filled river, like you know how you did with that maid you found trying on your Weitzman heels, the fucking bitch! Because how can you possibly wear a pair of shoes when they have been worn by someone who shops with a trolley and cleans her own feet.

President/Pope for life, Trump adds “Fish-lips” to the list of insults punishable by death.

The Lounge / Re: I am a pillar of sorrow!
« on: August 18, 2020, 12:23:34 AM »

My missus had a 3 series variant, a rocket sled in the dry, complete bastard when it snowed.

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