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Topics - Crouton

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I knew if I waited long enough then Trump will have used his power for something objectively good.  I think that day might have come.  That or I'm temporarily too stupid to see an obvious scam.

Now if he just signs an executive order to get rid of daylight savings time we'll be in business.

The Lounge / MOVED: Wise's mental health
« on: June 24, 2019, 10:55:46 AM »

The Lounge / Vampire Penguin draft proposal/workshop
« on: June 21, 2019, 05:29:12 PM »
Similar to werepenguin.  Same day night cycles.


During the day has three options:
1. Vote to lynch.
2. Physically defend someone against being killed.
3. Spiritually defend someone against being turned.
These options are all public.

Vampire Penguin. 
Can either turn a villager into a vampire or kill a villager.
Team vampire has one action during the night phase.
A greater number of vampires are needed to kill or convert someone than the number of people defending that person.
A villager turned vampire automatically knows who the other vampires are.

The Vampire Penguin Hunter.
During the night can either identify a target or turn a vampire back into a human.

Always malevolent.  They are on their own side.
During the day all the ghosts get together and decide on someone to possess.

I'm hoping the advantages of such a game is that it gives normal villagers more to do.  Also I'm hoping that past a certain point when everyone's alignment is known there is still a possibility of strategy.

Probably missing a bunch of game breaking problems with these rules but I figured I'd get a discussion going while we're in between games.

The Lounge / Who wants your day ruined?
« on: June 11, 2019, 11:28:41 PM »
So I have this dog that's maybe 15 years old.  The first 13 years have been pretty solid.  Then came the diabetes.  Then came the blindness(not as bas as it sounds, dogs get around pretty well without sight).  Then came the irritable stomach.  Then came the swollen red eye.  So for about 6 months I'd have to give this dog fake eye drops(remember this detail.  It becomes important later."

Things were going okay .  Some work to take care of.  Nothing terrible.  But I knew she was running on borrowed time.

Fast forward to this morning.  I take in my dog which is more of a smelly rag doll to the vet, I have no illusions about what can be done for her.

I see the front desk receptionist.  I tell her I have a dog that needs to be euthanized.  She gives me a slight look.  A look that says, "why don't you leave diagnostics to the experts".  She asks me what the dogs symptoms are.

I told her,  "Well she's had diabetes for the last two years.  Sometime in the last 6 months or so cataracts grew over her eyes and she's blind.  In the last couple of months the eye swelled up to double its size because she doesn't have tear ducts.  So this morning I found her barely moving, yelping, Sitting surrounded by body fluids she had decided she has no use for and no urgency to get away from.  Her eye which I thought was doing well, it, um... I'm struggling to find the right word, exploded?  What was once her eye had burst and the fluid ran down her face.  An exploded eye sort of looks like vanilla yoghurt stuff into an eye socket."

"So in short, I believe it may be time to euthanize. "

At this point the receptionist was nearly in tears.  Perhaps I shouldn't have painted so vivid a picture.

So many feelings.  Sadness but I don't feel cheated with a dog that old.  A little bit of relief, the giving her the medicine to keep her alive was getting complicated.  And in the end very relieved.  I had this nagging fear that no matter what condition I take in an animal, they would first present me with the options to try to keep it alive.  I was relieved to hear her say ,"yeah, no.  There's nothing to be done.  Let's talk about cremation services."

Well.  That's the cloud that was over my day.

The rules:

Based on the standard werewolf rules. 

The roles:

The Prophet
*During the night phase can tell the alignment and role of one player, the prophet must be alive for this power to work.
*Knows the identity of the False Prophet.
*Wins when the villagers win.
*Death will not reveal this character's identity.

The False Prophet
*During the day phase can tell the alignment and role of one player, the false prophet must be dead for this power to work.
*Knows the identity of the Prophet.
*Wins when the werepenguins win.
*Death will not reveal this character's identity.

Pioneers (Villagers)
*standard rules

*standard rules
*There are either 2 or three, the exact number is unknown

The sun rises and sets at 0200 GMT.

Lynching the narrator sock puppet is enabled.  The consequences are undefined.


boydster turned into a pillar of pepper
Space Cowgirl
Colonel Gaydafi trapped in an oil painting
DuckDodgers baptized into the next life
Chicken Fried Clucker attempted scaphism
Wise death by fusillade/robocopped
Jura-Glenlivet II zombified by Jesus
megallenclavichord crucified
Junker executed by catapult

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The Setting~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“For, behold, I have refined thee, I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction.”
-1 Nephi 20:10

The Wagon trail enters southern Utah.  Of the original 200 only 12 remain alive.

Captain John Baker informs the party that through detail analysis of scat he has identified that there are 2 or possibly 3 werepenguins posing as humans among us.
He additionally informs the party that he detected two sets of prophet droppings and has therefore made the obvious conclusion that there is a hidden prophet among us as well as a hidden false prophet.

"Fellow pioneers,

The time has come to raise our blades towards our brothers and sisters.  For a cancer is among us.  We must excise the penguins from our group or we shall not see New Sodom.

Additionally, we have a sizeable backlog of corpses that we still need to bury.  I would appreciate it if any downtime could be meant building coffins and digging graves.  It would be unseemly to arrive at New Sodom with a cart full of dead bodies."

September 7th 1857.  Somewhere in Southern Utah.

A wagon train bound for California enters Mormon controlled Utah.  They will never make it out.  What happened is a matter of some speculation.  The Mormons claim it was the Paiute Native Americans.  The United States government claims it was the Mormons.  But could the real culprits be, shall we say, not well adapted to a desert environment?

As some of you might know I come from a Mormon family.  Technically I still am a Mormon and as such I have access to the secret Mormon archives.  And I'm breaking my silence on this matter at great peril to myself.  What is not known by the general public about this incident is that among the wagon trail were two members of note who had surreptitiously joined.  The first was the prophet Brigham Young who for whatever reason felt compelled to personally see to it that the wagon train made it to California.  The second is an agent of the Danites, the now disgraced militant wing of the Mormon church(I swear I'm not making this up) who will stop at nothing to destroy the wagon train.

In this untold history we shall explore what really happened.

The roles:


The Prophet of the Mormon church.  He has secretly joined the wagon train.
*standard oracle powers when alive
*on the side of the villagers
*knows the identity of the Danite

The Danite infiltrator.  Like the prophet he has acquired the gift of prophecy through a lifetime of abstaining from coffee and anything fun with the key difference that his powers only work in death.
*standard oracle powers when dead
*on the side of the penguins.
*knows the identity of the Prophet

I'm going for a stripped down game to experiment a little.

If CFC shows up and is ready to go then I'll delay this game.
Tentatively scheduled to start Sunday night.

Doomed souls.

Space Cowgirl
Colonel Gaydafi
Chicken Fried Clucker
Jura-Glenlivet II


Yeah... That Russian stuff. Still going on.  It's like these people learned nothing from Trump.  Just deny the video as fake news.

The Lounge / Roll Call
« on: May 07, 2019, 11:02:40 PM »
Yo.  Who's in the hizzy?

Seems a little slow today.  Shifter?  You there? 

I guess battery staple has gone to learn how to narrate games better.

The Lounge / MOVED: Is tupac dead?
« on: March 18, 2019, 10:36:45 AM »

Philosophy, Religion & Society / Beto for president!
« on: March 14, 2019, 05:52:31 AM »

Damnit cfc!  I blame this on you.  Now we're all screwed!  He's going to take our hamberders.  We'll have to ride bicycles instead of cars.  Probably end up a socialist hell hole like Sweden.  He's going to build a tunnel under the Atlantic ocean to pipe in illegal immigrants from Syria.  He'll give cows voting rights.  The United States is officially no more.

The Lounge / A different kind of naming ceremony
« on: March 11, 2019, 11:27:56 PM »
So as some of you may recall, we're excepting another little Crouton later on this year.  Everytime we kind of up with a name it means trying every single grunt that can possibly be a word.  This takes months to come up with a name we both like.  But that's not the end of the conversation.  You see our family naming standards require 1 first name 1 last name and 3 middle names.  So 5 names really.  To make this even more difficult, we didn't anticipate other children so we used our a game naming the first two.

What I'd like here is name and name combinations.  They can be silly.  Maybe steer clear of insults,this is a baby we're talking about.

And I don't know if CFC has similar issues but maybe he can get in on this too.

Flat Earth General / Flat earth on netflix! EEEEEEEEEE!
« on: March 05, 2019, 11:22:48 PM »
It's called behind the curve. It's an hour and a half long and it stars mark Sargeant.

Okay. So I hope this isn't crap.

So I was listening to Alex Jones and a flat earther talking about going to ice wall.  Then I was thinking about that time that we almost met up in Vegas.  Then I thought, what if we combined the two.  It's like a camping trip to the south pole.  Whoa!  Okay I'm a little buzzed.  But I'm 60% that this will sound like a good idea in the morning.

The Lounge / Rise of the garbage pickers!
« on: January 03, 2019, 08:48:59 AM »
A little background.  I've moved into a new house a few months ago.  This house was built with the most cutting edge technology the 90's had to offer.  The previous owners left behind this beauty that appears to have been bought at the same time the house was built.

Not the exact unit but very close. So yeah, I feel like they played a practical joke on me. The thrift store won't even take this. So I finally got around to getting rid of it. Basically it breaks down as follows:

3 cathode ray tubes that weigh about 60 pounds. And a pcb with a high voltage choke to power it.
The cabinet which is all wood that weighs maybe 200 pounds. Whatever glue they used to hold it together is amazing. 25 years later and the glue is stronger than the screws on it.
A 60 inch lenticular lense, the least lethal part of this.
A 40 inch first surface mirror. This was the one part that I almost wanted to keep.  First surface mirrors are kind of unusual.

It turns out it all fits into two giant trash cans with the creative use of a Sawzall and a sledge hammer.

Trash day. Wheeled both of these out to the curb. In the process of taking out the recycle bin when I noticed that some guy is already digging through the first two trash cans and picking out parts of this monstrosity that I just threw out.

Did I cross into the fucking Fallout universe!

I asked him what the hell he's doing. He responds, "What does it look like? I'm grabbing this sweet ass surround sound system!" He said it like he was on the Price is Right.  Again, not a surrounded sound system. Goodwill will give away TVs better than this. I felt that his tone of voice was rude so I figured letting him dig it out was its own punishment. That 40 inch mirror, that won't fit into a trash can. I had to shatter that into a few dozen shards. This stupid asshole is reaching into a trash can in the dark with razor sharp blades, a still energized high voltage choke and splinters of wood and jagged metal for a TV that I can't give away.

The next morning I noticed that it was all back in the trash can. I assume he decided that the amount of first aid he'd need to extract it probably wasn't worth his time.

Philosophy, Religion & Society / The Patreon Kerfuffle.
« on: January 01, 2019, 12:40:33 PM »

Struggling to find a link that summarizes this well but here goes. 

The "Intellectual Dark Web"(a group of racists, crypto racists, corporate shills and some I assume are good people) rile up their followers and ask for donations on Patreon.  Turns out they're making some serious bank doing this.

Patreon, being very nervous about so many racists profiting off of them, starts banning them.

Some of these people, Milo Yiannopoulos, Alex Jones probably had it coming.

Then they banned a youtuber called Sargon of Akkad for using the N word in a leaked conversation where he's arguing with actual racists who are angry at him for not being an actual racist.  It's hard to explain.

This causes an uproar where people are quitting Patreon in protest which, ironically hurts the other Intellectual Dark Web personalities that rely on twitter. 

The reaction to this from people like Ben Shapiro and Dave Ruben is... ironic.  These champions of libertarianism, fighting government regulations, would like some government regulations on the tech industry. 

There you have it.  Shall Jura guide us to victory?

The Lounge / My own Festivus Thread and new year's thread
« on: December 26, 2018, 12:50:12 AM »
Yeah, a little buzed but I'm still mostly thinking good.

Specactular year.  New Job earning an obscene amount of money.  New house with a 5 car garage.

We now host all the family get togethers.

And the biggest new thing coming up this year...

drum roll...

wait for it....

wait for it....

There's another little Crouton on the way!

May all of you have the same good fortune in 2019 that I've had in 2018.

Except for you DNS.

Alright, you too DNS. 

Philosophy, Religion & Society / Another mass shooting... In Australia
« on: November 09, 2018, 06:10:11 PM »
Here is a thread where I shall post all of the mass shootings Australia has to disprove the notion that gun control works.

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