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Topics - Crouton

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Philosophy, Religion & Society / Buckle up Buckaroos!
« on: April 23, 2021, 09:34:54 AM »

California, meet your next governor!

I assume she's running on a platform of repealing our draconian vehicular manslaughter laws.

The Lounge / The king is dead!
« on: April 09, 2021, 08:20:56 AM »

Or maybe he wasn't the king, a consort?  WTF?  Anyways, it means Queen Elizabeth II is single again!  Who wants to be a monarch!

The Lounge / What's your accent?
« on: February 24, 2021, 08:48:37 AM »
I sort of assign accents to all of you in my head when I read your posts. It occurs to me that my imagination might not be accurate.

Bom tishop, I read his posts in the voice of Yosemite Sam.

Jura, can't decide between the chimney sweep on Mary Poppins or Michael fassbenders character on inglorious basterds.

I of course do not have an accent because I am from Las Vegas. But maybe I sound a little like Bill or Ted from their excellent adventures.

The Lounge / So what's everyone doing for valentines?
« on: February 12, 2021, 12:35:14 AM »
Gotta say I detest this holiday.

Single people I envy you. I still haven't picked out a present yet

The report

Consumer Reports testing,the%20Food%20and%20Drug%20Administration.

Very nearly all baby food manufacturers are selling baby food that exceeds the recommended limits of heavy metal exposure so much that they're not safe for adults let alone babies.

Apparently baby food isn't actually regulated and they can just sort of do this.  I saw this report pop up on my news feed sort of buried.  I read into this more closely and it looks kind of serious.  There's one company, Nurture, that has baby food that's tested as high as 641 ppb of lead.  The FDA sets of a limit of 5 ppb for lead.  That's for an adult.  There's not really a different number for kids. 

So there's baby food out there which I guess can legally poison your baby and it's really hard to tell which ones they are.  I'm disappointed this isn't getting brought up as an issue in the news and in the government.  As far as I can tell this is no small thing.  This isn't like finding too many insect legs in hot dogs.

Philosophy, Religion & Society / Pranking the prankster
« on: February 08, 2021, 12:46:05 PM »

I'm not familiar with this youtuber.  He apparently pranks people by robbing them?

Anyways, he tried to prank this group of people by running at them with a butcher knife and one of them, well he had a gun and I guess pranked him right back by shooting him to death.

Arts & Entertainment / Lady Dimitrescu.
« on: February 04, 2021, 02:43:17 AM »

Apparently the internet is blowing up about this, um, whatever she is.

She's very tall I guess.  That's interesting.  I admit that I really haven't played any Resident Evil game so I don't really understand the reaction.

Philosophy, Religion & Society / The heartwarming tale of GME
« on: January 27, 2021, 12:01:49 PM »

Let me try to sum this up.  There is a hedgefund that's betting on gamestop to go out of business.  They've shorted the stock heavily.  There are a group of people who hate wall street crooks in general on reddit.  Here's the thing about shorting a stock.  It's very risky because your losses are theoretically unlimited. 

So this group on reddit just decided "hey fuck this hedgefund in particular" and started buying GME.  The results are marvelous so far.  It's costing this hedgefund billions and Wallstreet is freaking out about it. 

The aftermath is going to be interesting.

The Lounge / Okay,j Look ,,, listen/! ?Smnell!
« on: January 19, 2021, 12:03:27 AM »
So I have ben eating  lot of i;ls a d alcoholoc with rpesceptiohn medicine figher plot meth.  Long have I toiled in my mind ballot to solve your problem.

I thiought about it long andhard.  Are you reddy you? cehck this ohjt, I have a five pqwoet plan. 

Alright, nv thjat plan.  I forget it wen I went into the otyher room.  New Plan.

Some explaning needed. Be patience I promise this wll go somewhere. 

Once when we were finshed eating, my daughter didn't want to leave her vood.  But they didn't want to throw it away.  So I told her to stuff them all in uyour mouth and the same time.  sHEN SHOUD JUSTA HAVE ALL THAT INTERE TIME WHERE SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN WAITING I BY CHESING ITG.  BAM PROBLEM SOLVED.


pLAN 2

It starteed wieh she casually sat on my l;ap and farted.  "well played kid, well played".  BButy revenge is a disch best served cold.  So I bided my time.  One day her head was lying right by sass."Whoa!  pervect right".  If I had concentrated any further I'm sure I would have blasterd my daughter with shit.  T

So just parse all that our and we can get back wise.

Arts & Entertainment / Cobra Kai...
« on: November 24, 2020, 01:30:41 AM »
Is pretty freaking good.

That is all.

Arts & Entertainment / What is sadness? (RIP Alex Trebek)
« on: November 08, 2020, 11:11:26 AM »

Seems so sudden.  I thought he was doing well.  I'm hearing rumors about getting Ken Jennings to host Jeopardy.

The Lounge / Idea
« on: November 02, 2020, 01:34:18 AM »
I have this idea that I think might be fun. I'm also pretty intoxicated so take that with a grain of mustard.

So the 2020 election is coming up and I assume we're all watching it?

What if we hosted a zoom party or something. We could hang out and show dicks to each othrt, it's a Jeffrey tubin thing.

Just a tgoigfgrb0

Arts & Entertainment / Botat 2
« on: October 26, 2020, 01:00:17 AM »

Is hilarious so far.

I'm laughing at a movie alone. {I wcant convince Mrs cruton to watch it with me and Mrs Crouton will not allow me to show it to the kids.

Mrs cruton is a nazi.

Also they mentioned the flat earth!

So I'm trying to expland my tasts beyond beef.  I bought a bottle of Mclellands Soctch Whiskee.  I thought it has "scotch" like butterScotch in the mname , How bad could bit could? 

Pretty bad.  I would have to describe the taste as something that could be very good at stripping paint.

Is it supposed to taste and smell like paint thiner?   

Are there any trips to drinking this stuff?  Chasers?  Just shooting it to get the pain over. Inverted recto consumption?  Feeding it to the kids?  Should I use a "gateway drink" such as wd-40 blasted in a tin cup and shooting that to prepare myself for drinking scotch?

This all stated by trying to find the most efficient beer, beer that will give you the most alcohol for the least calories.

Sciee has proben that this beer is, and hold your laugter, I can feel your beer snobbery,

Obviously I'm trying to do better, hence the foray into the hard stuff.


It's like the White Fragility of environmentalism.  I almost wonder if Michael Moore got tricked into making this by the Koch brothers.  I'm 30 minutes in and it's all bad arguments to attack renewable energy.

The Lounge / A fell wind is upon us.
« on: September 08, 2020, 10:02:04 PM »

80mph and in some places 100mph winds.  Fucking hurricane level winds in Utah!  Most of Salt Lake out of power.  They don't expect to restore it until Thursday.  I imagine there is nary a generator to be found in the state.  I have a truck hooked up to a high current true sine wave inverter powering the fridges, charging the laptops, using my phone for my network connection, just like the pioneers of old.

The Lounge / Help me Bom Tishop, you're my only hope
« on: September 06, 2020, 11:52:08 PM »
Bom, I think you're one of the few people here who can understand this dilemma.

Let's go back in time for a minute.  Pre 911.  I just buy an m5(not really an m5, just the closes approximation)

Mrs. Crouton buys a used Toyota Corolla, way back before she even knew me.

Fast forward past the twin towers falling, trillions in stupid wars, An Obama presidency and straight into the Trump years.

Baby 3 appears and neither of our cars can legally carry our entire family.

We buy a minivan(don't laugh, they're actually pretty freaking sweet for family bullshit).  The celica spends a lot of time just sitting in the garage.

Fast forward 2 years until closer to today.  My now almost 20 year old cars fails catastrophically. I start driving the corolla, which despite it's years is still solid transportation, for the time being.

Now here's the dilemma.  I have a giant, throbbing, unrelenting hardon for a Tesla Model S, which, Mr. tishop, I don't have to remind you is an electric super car that can stomp most corvettes in a drag race.  The model s costs money.  A shitload of money.  So much money in fact that I'm having a crisis of guilt about buying one of these.  Suppose Covid gets worse.  Someone I know loses his job.  He's in danger of losing everything.  I couldn't help but think that if I deferred getting that expensive when I have transportation that's perfectly adequate then I would be in a better position to bail out this hypothetical person.

Bom, since you're the only other person that I'm aware that's spent about that much money on a car I'm curious to know your thoughts on the matter.

The Lounge / I am a pillar of sorrow!
« on: August 09, 2020, 11:49:26 PM »
Don't worry. Nobody dies in this story.  Well that's not true but the people dying aren't the point.

The week started off great.  Vacation at the lake.  But then an uncle on my wife's side dies.  Then his wive dies like 2 days later.  Then my friend's father in Vegas dies.  Left the lake house a little early to make it to the funeral.  I had choice about his to get there.  I chose the most irresponsible, my 20 year old sports car. 

The trip to Vegas went well.  The trip back did not.  Half way through the power train suffered a catastrophic failure.  The transmission died.  Along with the cooling system.  Probably the cylinder heads.  This is in addition to a long overdue timing belt change, a failing steering rack, an airbag recall(something about shooting me in the face with metal shards in the event of an accident), a randomly freezing srs system.  The car has a blue book of like $400. In short if this cant' be fixed with duct tape then I'm going to sell it to the junkyard.

Now I'm stuck in Beaver Utah waiting to get a professional's opinion but I'm pretty sure he's not going to be able to fix it with duct tape.

I am now very irritated at the inconvenience of this all.  I'm having these strange emotions.  It's been around so long and I've taken apart and reassembled it so many times that I have this surprisingly emotional connection to it now.  It's like being forced to shoot my dog.

The Lounge / I have very sad news. Rabinoz has passed away.
« on: August 02, 2020, 09:46:05 PM »
His son reached out to a few of the members he was messaging with.  Just shocking news.

He was a true giant of this forum.   His contribution to the discussion was immense.  He was brilliant, kind and decent man who lived a very long and very interesting life and we are diminished by his loss.

sic transit gloria mundi


On Parler, for $20,000.

Parler needs a diversity of voices for legitimacy.  They're sort of so MAGA heavy right now that even the MAGA heads are sick of it.  I can think of no better way uphold this diversity that spamming Parler non-stop with the Wisdom of people such as Wise and Sandokhan.

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