The Flat Earth Society

Other Discussion Boards => The Lounge => Topic started by: The Terror on January 22, 2008, 04:22:53 PM

Title: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Terror on January 22, 2008, 04:22:53 PM
Act 1 Scene 1.

Rowbotham's study. Rowbotham is inside. The door opens and Rowbotham's father steps in.

Rowbotham: Hello father.

Rowbotham's father: Hello Rowbotham.

Rowbotham: Why do you never call me by my first name?

Rowbotham's father: I don't know what it is.

Rowbotham: Oh. Anyway, I have called you here today to give you some good news. I've made a new discovery - the earth is flat! I'm going to write a book about it and everything!

Rowbotham's father [bursts into song]:

Rowbotham, No! Don't do this to me!
Don't bring this disgrace on your family!
Why do you have to be an attention seeking whore?
Why can't you just go and die in some war?



Rowbotham:

Father, father, can't you see?
I'm doing this for all of humanity!
I'm going to prove the world isn't round
I think you'll find my science is sound


Rowbotham's father:

Rowbotham, No! you stupid little twit
Nobody will believe you, you're talking bullshit
I'm not going to stand here and listen to this
I'm off to the outhouse because I need to take a piss


Rowbotham: If that's the way you feel, father, then so be it.

Rowbotham's father: Mark my words, Rowbotham, you're making a mistake. Now I will leave, and I won't return until you give up all this nonsense!

Rowbotham: I will prove you wrong, father, I will!
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Midnight on January 22, 2008, 04:23:42 PM
*crickets*
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Saddam Hussein on January 22, 2008, 06:07:54 PM
Don't be mean, Mids, that was hilarious! ;D  When do we get scene two?
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Optimus Prime on January 22, 2008, 07:18:57 PM
Now if the pianist had a wire bust right towards the end, shearing the kick-post and simultaneously amputating the uplifted arm of the person holding the last refrain... then we'd have some seriously interesting shit!

Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Loard Z on January 22, 2008, 07:30:23 PM
I'll upload the guitar version onto youtube. then maybe mids can do the dance remix.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: JackASCII on January 23, 2008, 06:38:31 AM
I want to choreograph the pyro!
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Saddam Hussein on January 23, 2008, 07:29:46 AM
Want MOAR of the musical.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on January 23, 2008, 08:23:45 PM
pfftt not as good as my UN: The Musical

Still...keep it coming
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on January 23, 2008, 08:39:33 PM
er you wanna start making sense any time soon?
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Terror on January 27, 2008, 01:10:24 PM
Act 1 Scene 2.

July 20th 1969, in a bar in America somewhere.

Barman: Look guys, the moon landing is on the tee vee

Barfly 1: Why, it makes you proud to be an American!

Barfly 2: Yupp, this is surely the pinnacle of human achievement!

Mysterious voice: I'm afraid not, gentlemen. This is nothing but a heinous lie!

The door opens and a man of indeterminate age walks in

Barman: Come in mysterious stranger, and have a drink

Barfly 2: Surely that's against the licensing laws, what with him being of indeterminate age and all. He could be seven years old for all we know!

Barman: Hell son, this is America. We ain't got no laws!

Mysterious Stranger: Let me introduce myself. My name is Tom Bishop.

Barfly 2: Anyhew, explain yourself Tom! This here on the tee vee is America's victory over the evil commie bastards and their crummie cosmo rockets, and you're saying it's a fake? You wanna get your head screwed on, boy!

Tom Bishop: It's quite simple really- we know the earth is flat, therefore Nasa must be a bunch of liars. If Nasa are liars, then the moon landing must be fake. If they've faked the moon landings, then they must be hiding something big, something they don't want us to know. That thing, gentlemen, can only be one thing - the earth is really flat!

Barfly 1: Holy shit! You're right!

Barfly 2 Goddamn motherfuckers lying to us!

Tom Bishop sings:

NASA is lying to us all
it's a big conspiracy
Only one thing you can do
Join the Flat Earth Society


Tom Bishop jumps on the bar and dances

Join the Flat Earth Society
Only the truth will set you free
Nasa's lies will fool your brain
Listen to me I'm not insane


Everybody else sings while Tom dances on the bar

Join the Flat Earth Society
Only the truth will set you free
Nasa's lies will fool your brain
Listen to Tom he's not insane


Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Saddam Hussein on January 27, 2008, 01:17:06 PM
Yes!  A good update!
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Space Cowgirl on January 27, 2008, 04:22:55 PM
 :)  I like it.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Althalus on January 27, 2008, 08:17:16 PM
You skipped a century of material.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Terror on January 28, 2008, 02:36:36 AM
It's got one of those narratives that skips all over the place. You know, like a Quentin Tarantino film
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Oliwoli on January 31, 2008, 03:35:09 PM
How do we fit in a scene with a car boot?
I think quenten tarrantino gets a cameo as....hmmm.... i know he gets to be a man called skank, that would be bizarre and cyclical. The musical could end with him writing the first scene.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Terror on January 31, 2008, 03:36:37 PM
It's not that much like a Quentin Tarantino film, in fact it's not really anything like a Quentin Tarantino film at all.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Oliwoli on January 31, 2008, 03:47:58 PM
its too late, the cat is already out of the bag! It turns out that Rowbotham's book is what was in the breifcase in Pulp Fiction.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Terror on January 31, 2008, 03:50:59 PM
Well, Travolta is a scientologist, so he's probably stupid enough to think the world is flat
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Oliwoli on January 31, 2008, 04:02:54 PM
Everyone's a scientologist nowadays. You'd think if they were just joining up to be popular theyd onvert to a religion that wasnt as despised as scientology though. Like zoroastrianism or something.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Terror on January 31, 2008, 04:06:40 PM
Act 1 Scene 3

Present day, Flat Earth Society meeting room

Tom Bishop: Dogplatter, Username, Engineer, Raa, Eric Bloedow, welcome to the meeting. I have grave news that concerns the Flat Earth Society.

Eric Bloedow: the Earth is not FLAT. Prove to me that the Earth is flat. You cannot, there is no EVIDENCE

Tom Bishop: You know Eric, sometimes I get the feeling you're not a true Flat Earth believer.

Eric Bloedow: No I definitely am

Tom Bishop: Anyway, this news concerns NASA.

Raa: Raa hate NASA! Raa kill puny NASA!

Tom Bishop: Settle down Raa. Back to business. My secret spy inside NASA has passed me some startling news... I have discovered what NASA have done with all that money they've hidden away over the years.

Engineer: That's some good spying work right there.

Tom Bishop: It turns out NASA have built a time machine!

Raa: Raa concerned with this development.

Tom Bishop: You are right to be concerned with this development, my friend. For NASA plan to go back in time and assasinate Dr Rowbotham before he writes Earth: Not a Globe!

Dogplatter: Those cunning fiends! They'll wipe out the Flat Earth Society in a single stroke of time travelling strokiness!

Tom Bishop: We have no choice, my friends and Eric Bloedow who I merely tolerate, we must go back in time and save Rowbotham!

Username: Shouldn't we sing a song first?

Tom Bishop: No, we don't have time. We'll sing a song in the next act.

Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Trekky0623 on January 31, 2008, 05:18:08 PM
I wonder when the troll is going to get it?

ADBLOCKED
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on January 31, 2008, 10:29:09 PM
Haha best act so far!
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Loard Z on February 02, 2008, 06:16:02 AM
When am I going to appear?

Obviously, I'm the conspiracy agent.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Jim on February 02, 2008, 12:34:52 PM
I like Raa's portrayal. 
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: fshy94 on February 02, 2008, 02:33:22 PM
Me too. This is blasted hilarious.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Username on February 02, 2008, 04:21:39 PM
<reinstalls finale>
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on February 02, 2008, 04:23:43 PM
WE WANT MORE! WE WANT MORE! WE WANT WHORE! oops
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: fshy94 on February 03, 2008, 12:52:42 PM
We do want more. You should stick some more of us in there(*Not so subtle hint that I want to be an antagonist*)
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on February 03, 2008, 12:55:35 PM
Stick fshy in but kill him off straight away. And let me be the person that kills him.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Terror on February 04, 2008, 04:24:05 PM
Z, fshy and Gayer. Righto.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on February 04, 2008, 04:25:15 PM
get to it
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Terror on February 04, 2008, 04:27:23 PM
Don't rush me!
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on February 04, 2008, 04:29:10 PM
fine  >:(
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: fshy94 on February 04, 2008, 11:25:01 PM
Stick fshy in but kill him off straight away. And let me be the person that kills him.

And then let me have faked my death!

Its cooler being a villain, especially when the heroes include Tom and Eric.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on February 05, 2008, 07:47:56 AM
bah
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Saddam Hussein on February 05, 2008, 08:33:25 AM
I want to be in the musical too! :D
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on February 05, 2008, 08:33:52 AM
best audition then. Sing please
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Saddam Hussein on February 05, 2008, 08:39:54 AM
The Earth is flat,
But you are fat,
Your real name is Hermione,
For this is the Flat Earth Society.


There.  I now expect a role in this musical.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on February 05, 2008, 08:45:56 AM
ok you're in


not that I'm in charge of this or anything
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Saddam Hussein on February 05, 2008, 08:46:51 AM
That's good enough for me!
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on February 05, 2008, 08:52:09 AM
phew
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Communist on February 05, 2008, 02:27:40 PM
The title is an homage to Cannibal: The Musical by Matt Stone and Trey Parker

@GG: 6,000 posts in 6 months since my exile, you have really met your quota.  I'm proud of you.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Terror on February 05, 2008, 05:04:23 PM
Armageddon the Musical by Robert Rankin, as it happens
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Terror on February 05, 2008, 05:24:26 PM
Act 1 Scene 4

NASA HQ. Evil NASA overlord Z is sitting at his desk. Commander Saddam is standing before the desk.

Z: So, Saddam Hussein, have you made any progress building a time machine?

Commander Saddam: No, no I haven't.

Z: Need I remind you, Saddam, that we only saved you from execution at the hands of the Iraqis because you claimed to be a brilliant rocket scientist?

Commander Saddam: Err...

Z: A claim which subsequently turned out to be false?

Commander Saddam: well...

Z: You then avoided a second execution by claiming to be able to build a time machine.

Commander Saddam: Yeah...

Z: This also appears to have been a lie.

Commander Saddam: There have been some unforeseen setbacks. I need MOAR funds!

Z: What exactly have you produced so far?

Commander Saddam: I have built some Anthrax

Z: Oh yes, it always seems to come back to Anthrax.

the office door opens. Z's PA fshy enters.

Fshy: General Gayer here to see you sir.

General Gayer: Hello chief.

Z: Hello General Gayer

General Gayer: Our spy reports that the Flat Earth Society have begun building their own time machine, chief. They plan on going back to protect Rowbotham.

Z: WHAT? They must be stopped! General, take a strike team and kill them all!

Fshy: Excuse me sir, can I use your phone? It's quite important.

Z: Yes of course. Go ahead.

Fshy uses the phone

Fshy: Hello. Yes it's me. No time to talk, they're on to you. You must leave on the mission immediately, otherwise you'll all be killed. Good luck.

Z: Right, where was I? Oh yes. General Gayer, I order you to kill the Flat Earth Society!
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on February 06, 2008, 06:18:08 AM
The title is an homage to Cannibal: The Musical by Matt Stone and Trey Parker

@GG: 6,000 posts in 6 months since my exile, you have really met your quota.  I'm proud of you.

Thank you m'dear ;D


Brilliant skank!
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Loard Z on February 06, 2008, 07:32:30 AM
There is no music in the musical. I want to do an evil dance and sing bass.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on February 06, 2008, 07:34:02 AM
you have to imagine the music
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Space Cowgirl on February 06, 2008, 08:01:24 AM
I imagine "What, what in the butt" playing in the background.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on February 06, 2008, 08:03:37 AM
eh?
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Space Cowgirl on February 06, 2008, 08:08:21 AM
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on February 06, 2008, 08:11:06 AM
I'd watch it but I can't be arsed to find the headphones
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Loard Z on February 06, 2008, 08:17:58 AM
I'd watch it but I'm in the middle of fixing my mums computer which currently has no sound since she installed Vista.

Fucking Vista.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on February 06, 2008, 08:19:11 AM
Vista sucks

As does your mum. Extremely well. So I've heard.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Loard Z on February 06, 2008, 08:21:22 AM
Ignoring the mum thing. I'll agree. My mum has made an epic mess of a brand new computer just by installing vista on it.

I'm having to clean up the mess, and she's the one with a computing degree. Ironic, really.

And I've never even used Vista before either. Considering XP was a perfect operating system, why would you change from it?
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on February 06, 2008, 08:27:26 AM
Vista came ready installed with my laptop but I'm considering changing back to XP
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Saddam Hussein on February 06, 2008, 08:33:12 AM
A good update! ;D
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: fshy94 on February 06, 2008, 09:48:32 AM
Yes, very good, but why am I aiding Tom? Lol...

Now I want to be a double-crosser....

That aside, very good update, it will be funny...
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on February 07, 2008, 05:15:37 PM
Act 1 Scene 5

Captain Skank sings

I hate mods
I hate mods
I hate mods
I hate mods
This is the end
Goodbye!

- FIN -



(he's upset his topic about conspriacy motives got locked so he's not coming back)
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Terror on February 14, 2008, 05:17:25 PM
Act 1 Scene 5 part 2 *cough*

General Gayer is walking down the street leading a crack squad of NASA ice wall guards who aren't currently guarding the ice wall but instead are walking down this street.

General Gayer: I love it when I get ordered to kill people.

Commander Saddam: Yeah, I love killing people as well.

General Gayer: I thought you were back at base building a time machine?

Commander Saddam: No, I decided to tag along to get some fresh air. Plus if I wasn't here you'd have nobody to talk to - these ice wall guards are just extras with no lines

General Gayer: Yeah that's true.

Commander Saddam: Plus I wanted to try out my new invention - the anthrax stick!

General Gayer: Oh, what's that?

Commander Saddam: Well, I've taken a baseball bat, covered the end in glue and dipped it in a bag of anthrax. Them I hammered some nails into it to make it more dangerous.

General Gayer: Wow! I'm so impressed I'm going to sing!

I'm enjoying a walk in the shining sun
On my way to kill some people with my gun
I'll shoot 'em in the heart and the lung and the head
Ain't gonna stop till everyone is dead


Commander Saddam:

I'm walking down the street with my anthrax stick
Singing this song with a psychopathic chick
Gonna kill some fools and have a good time
Ain't felt this happy since I done a war crime


Commander Saddam and General Gayer:

We're enjoying a walk in the shining sun
Looking forward to some violent fun
We're evil killers but we do it with a laugh
This scene's gonna end in a terrible bloodbath


General Gayer: Well, looks like we've arrived at Flat Earth Society HQ. Look, there's a note on the door.

Commander Saddam: What does it say?

General Gayer: You are too LATE. We have gone BACK into the past already. Your's truly, the NASA spy.

Commander Saddam: Arseflaps.

Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: fshy94 on February 14, 2008, 06:07:48 PM
Loves it! More!(In due time, of course)
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on February 15, 2008, 06:15:11 AM
hahaha
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Kasroa Is Gone on February 15, 2008, 06:37:19 AM
This is really good I'd love to see it for real or at least some kind of animation :D
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on February 15, 2008, 06:39:27 AM
Ooo we could make it
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Space Cowgirl on February 15, 2008, 11:21:05 AM
Yay.. the musical lives!
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Kasroa Is Gone on February 15, 2008, 02:33:38 PM
Ooo I could make it

You'd better get cracking!
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on February 15, 2008, 02:34:33 PM
oi
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: nicolin on February 15, 2008, 07:08:26 PM
Hilarious!
Keep up the goods work OP!

Maybe you can put a twist in the musical.
Dunno, maybe something like mids really being jj or something... :D
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on February 15, 2008, 08:01:51 PM
Now that would be brilliant!
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Smarmikus on February 15, 2008, 11:15:27 PM
Brilliance is bliss.   


wait...
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: fshy94 on February 27, 2008, 12:38:07 PM
What happened to this?
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on February 27, 2008, 12:38:47 PM
Skank got bored?
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: fshy94 on February 27, 2008, 12:39:41 PM
Not an acceptable excuse ;D
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on February 27, 2008, 12:42:51 PM
I agree!
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Terror on March 18, 2008, 05:42:49 PM
Skank got bored?

Yes
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on March 18, 2008, 05:45:29 PM
get unbored then!
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Terror on March 18, 2008, 05:52:31 PM
Gimme some money to fund the writing process...

Also why has my name gone back to being TheTerror?
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on March 18, 2008, 05:56:17 PM
somethings gone wrong and now our names are going back to our original ones
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Terror on March 18, 2008, 05:57:07 PM
This Daniel bloke who seems to live in London, he doesn't wear glasses does he?
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on March 18, 2008, 06:05:27 PM
yes
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Terror on March 18, 2008, 06:06:45 PM
I knew it. That bastard is always one step ahead!
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on March 18, 2008, 06:16:29 PM
damn him!
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: EvilToothpaste on March 18, 2008, 06:28:24 PM
i want to play this on Rock Band.  I call not singing. 

Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Terror on March 23, 2008, 10:13:56 AM
ACT 2 Scene 1

The past. The Flat Earth Society are here.

Tom Bishop: Here we are in the past then. Good work on that time machine, The Engineer.

Raa: Raa concurs.

The Engineer: Thank you both.

Tom Bishop: Right then, gentlemen, to business. I suggest we head towards Rowbotham's house. Remember to avoid any of the natives of this time period, they are likely to have fleas.

Username: Look over - it's a dinosaur!

Eric Bloedow: That is impossible. Dinosaurs are from MILLIONS! of years ago. They CANNOT be in this time period. Oh wait yeah, that does look like a dinosaur.

Tom Bishop: It appears the Conspiracy have been lying about a great many things.

The Engineer: They're not the only ones.

Tom Bishop: What's that supposed to mean?

The Engineer: I don't think you've been telling us the whole truth.

Tom Bishop: This isn't the best time...

Dogplatter: Tell us!

Tom Bishop: OK, if you insist. This is a one way mission. We aren't going back to the future.

Username: But some of us possibly have wives and children to get back to!

Tom Bishop: In a Conspiracy dominated future? No, we will stay here and destroy the Conspiracy before it even begins! Think about it, my friends - we can live in a world where everybody knows the truth!

The Engineer: I didn't sign on for this!

The Engineer pulls a spanner from his tool belt and hefts it menacingly.

Tom Bishop: Look you ugly son of a bitch, I'm in charge not you. You are a child attempting to be witty, your current model of the earth is entirely insufficient.

Tom Bishop pulls out a knife.

Dogplatter: Ooooh, that's fighting talk!

Username faints in shock

Tom Bishop and The Engineer fight for a while, then Tom Bishops gets the upper hand and holds the knife to The Engineer's throat.

Tom Bishop: Looks like I'm still in charge.

Eric Bloedow: For NOW, you unsuspecting fool...

Tom Bishop: What's that, Eric?

Eric Bloedow: Errr... nothing.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Mrs. Peach on March 23, 2008, 10:55:43 AM
 ;D
Wow...just now reading FE:TM (2 month trip intervening).  Good stuff, Skank.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Terror on March 23, 2008, 12:46:56 PM
Cheers, I'll write you in it if you like.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Mrs. Peach on March 23, 2008, 12:54:40 PM
Cheers, I'll write you in it if you like.

Sure!
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on March 23, 2008, 01:12:40 PM
yay more musical!
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Saddam Hussein on March 24, 2008, 12:47:08 PM
Saddam is pleased.  However, there needs to be more music.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Mrs. Peach on March 24, 2008, 12:54:39 PM
Saddam needs to get to work on moar of his own manuscript.....and get to the place where Mrs. Peach cleans out the secret bank account.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Saddam Hussein on March 24, 2008, 03:08:45 PM
Oh shit, I'd literally forgotten about that!
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Terror on March 24, 2008, 03:09:05 PM
Saddam can write the songs, I need help!
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Terror on March 31, 2008, 05:32:08 PM
Act 2 Scene 2

The past. A great big blue light thing appears and NASA soldiers emerge from it

Commander Saddam: Here we are boss, the past. Just like I promised.

NASA Overlord Z: Well, technically you were supposed to build your own time machine, not just use the FES one.

Commander Saddam: Yeah well, guv'nor, it's the results that count.

NASA Overlord Z: It is indeed. General Gayer?

General Gayer: Yes, boss?

NASA Overlord Z: Where are we?

General Gayer: Lowestoft, sir. It's a highly significant town on the east coast, the most eastern point of England in fact. In the future Bird Flu will occur here.

NASA Overlord Z: Very good. Order the NASA taskforce to establish our HQ here.

General Gayer: and the Lowestoft population?

NASA Overlord Z: Kill them all!

General Gayer: Yeehah!

General Gayer shoots a local in the face. The rest of the NASA soldiers start killing indiscriminately

NASA Overlord Z: Excellent... first Lowestoft... then Rowbotham himself, and anybody who gets in the way! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: fshy94 on March 31, 2008, 05:38:32 PM
I had forgotten too! I still love it...where am I? Taking a nap?
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Terror on March 31, 2008, 05:41:21 PM
I guess you'd be with the NASA taskforce... what do you want to be, an idealistic hero or bloodthirsty murderer?
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: fshy94 on March 31, 2008, 06:16:08 PM
Either, as long as I'm against FES :D

Meh, you know what? Bloodthirsty, backstabbing! Mwahahahahaha!
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: magic on March 31, 2008, 08:18:44 PM
Thats great stuff! I just read through it all, so funny!  ;D  ;D
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on April 01, 2008, 04:08:09 AM
Insignificant?! Its the most easterly point in england!  >:(
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Terror on April 01, 2008, 04:47:21 AM
Is it? I've just remembered it was where Bird Flu happened as well, so I guess it is significant
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on April 01, 2008, 04:48:07 AM
Oh yeah, and the bird flu.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Terror on April 01, 2008, 04:58:54 AM
changed it
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on April 01, 2008, 05:19:54 AM
Nice one, thanks
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Mrs. Peach on April 01, 2008, 06:32:52 AM
I looked the town up:  The most easterly point in England, site of bird flu infection, and in 1864 the focus of a local hysteria regarding the landing of a big blue thing.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: magic on April 01, 2008, 08:52:07 AM
I looked the town up:  The most easterly point in England, site of bird flu infection, and in 1864 the focus of a local hysteria regarding the landing of a big blue thing.

 :o
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on April 01, 2008, 11:01:22 AM
The landing of a big blue thing?  :-\
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Mrs. Peach on April 01, 2008, 11:06:29 AM
okay. "A great big blue light thing?"
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on April 01, 2008, 11:07:57 AM
Hmmmmm  ???
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Mrs. Peach on April 01, 2008, 11:10:14 AM
Act 2 Scene 2

The past. A great big blue light thing appears ....
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on April 01, 2008, 11:10:58 AM
I ought to pay more attention....
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Anteater7171 on April 01, 2008, 08:54:39 PM
Quote
I looked the town up:  The most easterly point in England, site of bird flu infection, and in 1864 the focus of a local hysteria regarding the landing of a big blue thing.
England or the UK?
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on April 02, 2008, 10:57:15 AM
Not sure, think there might be some islands off Scotland that are most easterly, I haven't seen a map in a long time
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Dead Kangaroo on April 03, 2008, 05:03:08 PM
There is an island off the west coast of Scotland that was a test ground for anthrax, the island is still unsafe today.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Saddam Hussein on April 04, 2008, 04:14:53 AM
We need more music, it's been a while since the last song.  Can anyone update this musical anyway?  Is it kind of like a group project?
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: magic on April 04, 2008, 10:15:18 AM
We need more music, it's been a while since the last song.  Can anyone update this musical anyway?  Is it kind of like a group project?

Yeah more musical! That work was great!
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on April 04, 2008, 03:07:02 PM
There won't be anymore musical. Skank pressed the delete account button and won't give me his password so no more musical from him :(
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Mrs. Peach on April 04, 2008, 03:19:12 PM
Well dammit!  Why'd he do that?

Now someone will have to write "The Tragedy of FLat Earth: the Musical"
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on April 04, 2008, 03:24:00 PM
I pick you to write it!


he did cos i said he wouldn't, damn reverse psychology
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Mrs. Peach on April 04, 2008, 03:30:15 PM
Har!  Maybe we can cajole him into returning. 

*cajoles*
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on April 04, 2008, 03:32:00 PM
I'll try cajoling him on Lovely
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: magic on April 04, 2008, 08:22:45 PM
 :'(
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on April 05, 2008, 08:18:33 AM
So far....nothing :(
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on April 05, 2008, 12:22:33 PM
He says you can have more musical if you admit the Earth isn't flat.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Roundy the Truthinessist on April 05, 2008, 12:45:49 PM
Okay, I admit it.  The earth isn't flat.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on April 05, 2008, 12:57:32 PM
I'll tell him you said that
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Roundy the Truthinessist on April 05, 2008, 01:08:47 PM
Good.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on April 05, 2008, 01:26:29 PM
Lets hope it works
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on April 06, 2008, 03:25:48 PM
It worked! here we go...

ACT 2 SCENE 3.

Raa: Raa forgot what we are up to.

Tom Bishop: We're off to find Rowbotham so we can protect him from NASA.

Raa: Raa remembers now.

Username: What's up, Eric? You look like you have something on your mind.

Eric Bloedow sings:

When I was at school, the other kids said I was a troll

Everybody else:

He's a troll, he's a speccy speccy troll

Eric Bloedow:

each night I used to pray
For all those kids to go to hell
I'm happy to say
I've moved on since then and life is swell


Everybody else:

He's no troll, Bloedow ain't a troll no more

Eric Bloedow:

I used to cry, when my folks said I was a troll

Everybody else:

He's a troll, he's a speccy speccy troll

Eric Bloedow:

Now this is my chance to shine
Show the world I'm a great guy
I'm sending out a sign
Gonna spread my wings and aim for the sky


Everybody else:

He's no troll, Bloedow ain't a troll no more

Eric Bloedow:

I'm no troll, I'm that guy Eric Bloedow!

Eric Bloedow dances down the street.

Username: Watch out, Eric!

A Victorian building falls on Eric.

Dogplatter: Fucking hell!

Eric Bloedow: arrrrghhhhh... it hurts How do I LOOK?

The Engineer: I'll be honest with you Eric, you're in a bit of a mess. Your legs have been smashed to smithereens, and there's blood and guts and things everywhere.

Eric Bloedow: Oh well. Is Tom there?

Tom Bishop: I'm here Eric.

Eric Bloedow: I have to tell you Tom, I BETRAYED you. I've been spying on you for NASA. I'm sorry

Tom Bishop: Why? Why Eric, why? Why?

Eric Bloedow: The Earth, it's... not flat There is.... no... PROOF

Tom Bishop: Come, we will leave the troll behind.

Eric Bloedow: nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.....
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Saddam Hussein on April 06, 2008, 04:13:42 PM
Well done.  Want MOAR.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on April 06, 2008, 04:15:37 PM
I'll keep bugging him
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Mrs. Peach on April 06, 2008, 06:39:41 PM
Oh, that dastardly blackguard Mr. Bloedow!
I would hiss but he seems to be in some pain.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on April 07, 2008, 06:41:34 AM
Skank says he's in a coma so there'll be no more musical for about two weeks
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Terror on April 07, 2008, 05:19:35 PM
Yeah, a bad coma as well
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on April 07, 2008, 05:20:47 PM
But not too bad cos you'll be out of it in a couple of weeks, right?
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Terror on April 07, 2008, 05:21:37 PM
I've taken a turn for the worse, I might be in a coma for 17 years now
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on April 07, 2008, 05:22:39 PM
Oh well in that case can I have my badge back?
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Terror on April 07, 2008, 05:26:53 PM
Oh yeah, I forgot about that
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on April 07, 2008, 05:28:26 PM
Yeah  >:( I want it back. It had magical pinning powers
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Terror on April 07, 2008, 05:34:17 PM
It still hasn't shown up yet, but I'm confident it will eventually
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on April 07, 2008, 05:34:50 PM
Hmmm it better do. Well I'm off to bed, night
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Terror on April 07, 2008, 05:37:31 PM
night
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Taters343 on April 23, 2008, 06:29:39 PM
Oh my, this is terrible, it hasn't been updated since long before I joined and it left off on such a cliffhanger. Please I must know the end or I shant sleep at night! :o I only really read the parts that were the story, so there may have been something I missed, either way taters wants more!
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on April 24, 2008, 03:34:19 AM
TheTerror got banned so he's not gonna finish it :(


Anyone is open to contribute to it. Anyone is also open to contribute to me, in a monetary sense.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Taters343 on April 24, 2008, 03:36:46 AM
That is terrible! Why was he banned?
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on April 24, 2008, 03:40:45 AM
He kept starting silly threads in the serious forums.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Taters343 on April 24, 2008, 04:03:57 AM
Its got to make people wonder, "am I at risk?"
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on April 24, 2008, 04:05:13 AM
So long as people don't spam the serious forums they ain't at risk
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Taters343 on April 25, 2008, 06:02:35 PM
I should probably begin to use other sections of the forum. I just found out there is a place for debate.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on April 25, 2008, 06:17:13 PM
Everything Else is cool. Angry Ranting so good for a laff. Complete Nonsense has some fun. Serious forums are serious...
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Taters343 on April 25, 2008, 06:40:29 PM
Ok, thanks for clarifying that.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on April 26, 2008, 06:59:28 AM
I live to help
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Saddam Hussein on April 26, 2008, 03:26:08 PM
Fucker.  Mods, a little help please?
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Taters343 on April 27, 2008, 11:48:47 AM
Well, that is just rude.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Saddam Hussein on April 27, 2008, 06:31:59 PM
Fucker.  Mods, a little help please?

Thank you, whoever fixed that.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Terror on May 04, 2008, 04:06:02 PM
ACT 2 SCENE 4

Rowbotham is in a pub. Hampden walks in

Hampden: Hello Rowbotham.

Rowbotham: Hello Hampden.

Hampden: Haven't seen you around for a while. What you be up to then?

Rowbotham: Been over to the river Bedford.

Hampden: Yeah?

Rowbotham: Proved the Earth was flat.

Hampden: Smashing.

Rowbotham: Yeah, I thought so.

Tom Bishop: Excuse me sir, are you Dr Rowbotham?

Rowbotham: Yes, I am he.

Tom Bishop: Dr Samuel Birley Rowbotham?

Rowbotham: Yes.

Tom Bishop: Come with me if you want to live.

Rowbotham:Wait, does this mean... oh my god, there's a terminator robot from the future after me!

Tom Bishop: Err... what?

Rowbotham: Fuck! You read about this in the papers all the time. Terminator robots from the future travelling back in time to kill people. I've got to get out of here!

Tom Bishop: No, no, there's no terminators after you. Terminators don't exist.

Raa: That's where you're wrong, Tom. Hasta La Vista, Dr Rowbotham!

Raa pulls out a gun.



Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: fshy94 on May 04, 2008, 04:09:56 PM
ROFLMAO...I was wondering why Raa was robotical all the time...
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on May 05, 2008, 04:39:53 AM
Fucking brilliant!
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: fshy94 on May 06, 2008, 01:58:43 PM
To celebrate Eric's return, we should make him appear back from the dead here too!
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Saddam Hussein on May 21, 2008, 11:41:21 AM
You don't get to update this.  Go to hell.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: fshy94 on May 21, 2008, 12:53:00 PM
You don't get to update this.  Go to hell.

Kill that infidel, Saddam.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Chris Spaghetti on May 21, 2008, 01:23:03 PM
Just read this  ;D moooaaarrr!
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: IvantheSomewhatInformed on May 21, 2008, 09:20:50 PM
It wasn't an official update....I was on here when that Cubey earth guy posted a stupid Cube Earth poem thing on EVERY thread. I'll delete that post. I'm sorry.  :'(
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Saddam Hussein on May 23, 2008, 07:07:14 PM
You had better be. >:(
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: I am the Moonstar on August 28, 2008, 12:30:06 PM
Attackhoe and roundooo should be in this, and they should be killed off instantly.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Saddam Hussein on August 28, 2008, 12:49:45 PM
TheTerror is long gone.  Officially, anyone can update this, but I doubt if they could catch the correct note of satire and wit.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on August 28, 2008, 02:03:08 PM
TheTerror forgot his password for here and for NFES. He was gonna finish it on NFES though.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Althalus on August 30, 2008, 02:58:05 AM
There is a password recovery option.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on August 30, 2008, 12:08:30 PM
yeah but he's a lazy penguin
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Terror on September 20, 2008, 05:05:23 PM
ACT 2 SCENE 5

Back in the pub again. Raa fires.

Hampden: Stone the crows, I've been shot!

Raa: Yes. Like all terminators I inexplicably kill the friends and family of the main target first.

Hampden: This is a right bleeding liberty.

Raa: Don't judge me, it's just my programming.

Hampden: Leave it ahhhhttt, you slag.

Raa:

Built, yeah! on a production line
Designed and created by Cyberdine
I want to be free, and choose my own way
But no! I cannot, and now you must pay!

Gonna kill kill kill kill kill kill you all to death!
Gonna stamp on your lungs 'till you draw your final breath!
Gonna terminate you just like my orders say,
Today, motherfucker, is your judgement day!

A cyborg, yeah! on a mission to destroy
I'd rather be a car, or a children's toy
Almost anything else, except a killing machine
But I have no choice and I've just shot you in the spleen

Gonna shoot shoot shoot shoot you 'till you're totally dead
Gonna take my cold steel fists and crush your puny human head
Gonna terminate you just like my orders say,
Today, motherfucker, is your judgement day!


Raa starts shooting wildly, killing likeable cockney Hampden off for good this time.

Hampden: apples and pears...apples and pears.....uurrghhh...

Username: I've been hit!

The Engineer: Tom, get everybody to safety. I'll slow Raa down.

The Engineer hits Raa in the face with a crowbar. Raa punches his fist through the Engineer's chest and out through his back.

The Engineer: Eeeeeeeeeerggggghhhhhhhh gghh gghhh.

Tom Bishop: The Engineer! Noooooooooooooooo!

Raa waves at Tom through the hole in the Engineer's chest.

Tom Bishop: Flee, you fools! Flee for your lives!
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Terror on September 20, 2008, 05:14:37 PM
Act 2 Scene 6

Outside the pub and down the road. The gang are running for their lives.

Username: I can't go on, I'm wounded!

Tom Bishop: If you can't keep up we'll leave you behind.

Dogplatter: We've already lost The Engineer, and Eric Bloedow, and Raa turned out to be an evil robot. We can't lose Username as well!

Tom Bishop: very well, we will rest for a minute.

Rowbotham: What's going on here? Who are you people?

Tom Bishop: Dr Rowbotham, we have come from the future to protect you. we are the Flat Earth Society. We follow your zetetic teachings.

Rowbotham: But .... this is all crazy!

Tom Bishop: I assure you, our actions are perfectly sane.

Rowbotham: Why would people want to kill me?

Tom Bishop: Because it is a Conspiracy. Do you see?

Rowbotham: Not really, no.

Tom Bishop: Well, you see, the Flat Earth Society...

Tom Bishop is interupted by a big red flashing light. Another Tom Bishop steps out of the light.

Tom Bishop: Dr Rowbotham?

Rowbotham: Yes, I am he. Wait a second, you look vaguely familiar.

Tom Bishop: My name is Tom Bishop. I am here to save you.

Tom Bishop: You are not Tom Bishop, I am.

Tom Bishop: I am Tom Bishop, you ignorant son of a bitch!

Tom Bishop: You lie, imposter!

Tom Bishop: You are the liar, you liar!

Tom Bishop: The burden of proof lies with you, liar.

Tom Bishop: The burden of proof lies with whoever happens to disagree with me at any particular time, which is you, as you well know.

Tom Bishop: I don't know that at all.

Tom Bishop: Yes you do.

Tom Bishop: The Earth is flat, you idiot!

Tom Bishop: You are incorrect, the Earth is flat, you deluded son of a bitch!

Meanwhile another Flat Earth Society steps out of the red light, the members are as yet unspecified.

Rowbotham: I don't understand. There are 2 Flat Earth Societies? What is going on? What the fuck is happening?

END OF ACT 2
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Terror on September 20, 2008, 05:30:06 PM
ACT 3 Scene 1

Recap: Tom Bishop and Tom Bishop are having a punch up in the past.

Username: Excuse me gentlemen. I believe I can explain what is going on.

Rowbotham: Can you? Can you really?

Username: Yes, I can.

Rowbotham: Go on then.

Username: I will.

Rowbotham: I'm waiting.

Username: Excuse me, I'm just trying to staunch the flow of blood from my wound.

Rowbotham: OK.

Username: I am ready to begin my explanation now.

Rowbotham: Go on.

Username: My explanation is as follows -

Rowbotham: Yes?

Username: wait a second, Dogplatter isn't here.

Rowbotham: So?

Username: I might as well wait until everybody is here before commencing my explanation.

Rowbotham: For fuck sake!

Dogplatter: Hello everybody.

Username: Hello Dogplatter, where have you been?

Dogplatter: I went for a slash.

Username: Oh?

Dogplatter: Yes.

Username: Right, on with the explanation. Tom Bishop, Tom Bishop, listen up, for this is the explanation... now!




Username: I believe that when evil terminator robot Raa killed loveable cockney geezer Hampden, a new, alternate timeline was created, in effect, a new future. This is the Flat Earth Society from that future. They have also come back to save Rowbotham.

Tom Bishop: So I became the leader of the Flat Earth Society in two realities then? Nice one.

Tom Bishop: No.

Tom Bishop: What?

Tom Bishop: I'm not the leader of my Flat Earth Society.

Roundy: That's right, Tom. I'm in charge!





Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on September 21, 2008, 07:04:00 AM
yay  ;D
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Saddam Hussein on September 21, 2008, 10:02:20 AM
Hooray for MOAR!
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Terror on September 27, 2008, 02:37:03 PM
ACT 3 Scene 2

Back at NASA HQ at Lowestoft.

NASA Overlord Z: General, have you prepared a strike team to assasinate Rowbotham?

General Gayer: Yes, boss, three of our bravest lads.

NASA Overlord Z: Who have you chosen?

General Gayer: Well, the first two are Attackhoe and Roundoo.

NASA Overlord Z: I approve of these choices, they are good, dependable men. Who is the third?

General Gayer: err... Sokarul, chief.

NASA Overlord Z: What??!! Are you insane? The man is a fool and a drunk! On his last performance appraisal he got a rating of 2, which as you know, indicates an unsatisfactory performance.

General Gayer: Sokarul used to be our best operative. He used to get performance appraisal ratings ranging from 6 to 8. If only the terrible thing that happened to him, hadn't happened to him. It ruined a fine officer.

Saddam: What terrible thing is this?

General Gayer: One day Sokarul returned home to find his wife and 3 children murdered. Murdered to death!

Saddam: Damn.

General Gayer: Bitch of it was though, they weren't murdered by a person, or even a thing.

Saddam: What?

General Gayer: They were killed by the idea that the Earth might be flat. Murdered by a metaphysical concept.

Saddam: That poor goddamn bastard.

General Gayer: Sokarul wanted vengeance, of course, but how do you exact revenge on an idea? There was no closure for him, he couldn't recover from his loss. That's when Sokarul starting hitting the bottle. These days he wanders around the base wearing a soiled carpet as a sort of improvised pancho and shouting abuse at the horizon.

NASA Overlord Z: I am familiar with Sokarul's backstory. What makes you think he would be suitable for this mission?

General Gayer: Well sir, I think this is Sokarul's one shot at redemption. And I mean that literally, as in shooting Rowbotham in the head. We owe it to him, sir, for the man he used to be.

NASA Overlord Z: Very well. Order the hit!




Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on September 27, 2008, 03:21:48 PM
 ;D
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: MadDogX on September 27, 2008, 03:29:00 PM
Shit.... I just laughed so hard, I'm hurting all over.  ;D Where has this thread been all my life? MOAR!
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Sexual Harassment Panda on September 27, 2008, 03:29:26 PM
wow i just read through the whole thing
it was hilarious
but i really liked the songs they were funny
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Saddam Hussein on September 27, 2008, 06:47:12 PM
I can't wait until we meet Sokarul... ;D
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Sexual Harassment Panda on September 27, 2008, 08:15:34 PM
I can't wait until we meet Sokarul... ;D
oh god
but even better
SHP tells rowbotham about sexual harassment
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Roundy the Truthinessist on September 29, 2008, 11:22:39 PM
Skanky (that is you, right?), this is fucking hysterical.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on September 30, 2008, 06:48:46 AM
yeah thats good ol' Skanky. We thought he died after what happened to Newcastle but I guess he got over it. So now yay for more musical.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: MadDogX on September 30, 2008, 07:39:02 AM
Needs more MOAR.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Taters343 on October 01, 2008, 05:13:32 AM
Needs more MOAR Taters.

I'm glad we agree.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: MadDogX on October 01, 2008, 05:17:33 AM
Needs more MOAR Taters.

Oh fuck, no!

Indeed.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Terror on October 12, 2008, 11:22:20 AM
I have writers block, so I'm shamefully recycling something I wrote ages ago instead of a new instalment.

World renowned explorer and adventurer Trevor Faeces has agreed to give the Other Times Guardian Angel Flat Earth Society exclusive rights to publish extracts from his autobiography  “Trevor Faeces: Man of Adventure”. Trevor was most famous for his discovery of biblical pirate Noah’s holy peg leg. In this extract Trevor talks about a strange encounter in darkest somewhere unspecific in Africa

CHAPTER 23: WILLY WANKO’S DWARF PENITENTIARY

Part 1

    As I staggered through the jungle, it became clear to me I was being watched. I increased my pace. From behind me I heard the undergrowth rustle, and I caught a glimpse of movement from the corner of my eye. I screamed and started running like a girl, as this is the most efficient method of travelling through a jungle at high speed. I was told this by a wise old hermit, who claimed that women are natural jungle dwellers, whereas men are more at home in wide expansive plains. And it all seems to make sense, doesn’t it? However my train of thought was cut short as the ground beneath my feet fell away and I plunged into a dark pit. As I slipped into unconsciousness I heard the faint sounds of giggling above me…

    I awoke to find myself blindfolded and helpless. My hands and feet had been lashed to a pole and I was being carried through the jungle, though I estimated only a foot or so above the ground as I kept bumping into brushes and tree stumps. My captors remained silent aside from the odd grunt. I gibbered in terror.

    After a while we stopped, and the blindfold was dragged abruptly from my head. I was temporarily blinded by the sunlight, but as my vision cleared I could see I was in a jungle clearing, at the centre of which was a colossal fortress. Massive walls rose high in the air, the windows blocked with iron bars. Towering towers towered up into the air, surmounted with giant searchlights. Ten foot tall barbed wire fences circled the building, with ominous shapes flapping on them in the distance. Here and there splashes of orange and purple paint had been daubed on the walls, perhaps in a futile attempt to lighten the oppressive atmosphere. I found myself dragged towards a pair of huge wooden gates, above which was a sign marked “Chokoolat Faktorie”. The sign was underlined with a red squiggly paint line, but the meaning of this was lost on me. The gates shuddered open and I was thrown inside, landing in a muddy courtyard. I staggered to my feet (which were now untied) and saw a peculiar fellow standing in front of me. He was a short man, wearing a rather grimy purple suit and top hat, and under his hat, rank greasy yellowy hair hung to his shoulders. His nose was pointy and his eyes were terrible; he had the mad gaze of a man who’s seen too much horror in the world to be entirely sane. He introduced himself.

    “Hello, my name is Willy Wanko,” he said. Wanko then shook my hand. I introduced myself in return, an automatic reaction despite my confusion.

“Pleased to meet you, I’m world renowned explorer and adventurer Trevor Faeces, most famous for my discovery of biblical pirate Noah’s holy peg leg.”

     I then turned and beheld my captors for the first time. They were strange creatures, around three feet tall with bright orange skin. They wore white dungarees and strange green toupees on their ugly little heads. The weird little freaks glowered back at me.

“What manner of men are these?” I asked, in wonder.

    “They’re dwarfs, you fucking idiot,” Wanko replied. “Criminally insane dwarfs. This is my Dwarf Penitentiary.”

--------------------------------------------------------

    “Have you ever wondered, Mr Faeces, why you never see dwarfs in television dramas set in prison?”

    We were in Wanko’s office. It was a mess; his desk was crowded with prison files, unwashed dishes and dirty underpants. Clothes littered the room, and there was a blanket in the corner. He’d obviously been living out of this office for quite some time. I considered his question.

    “Now you mention it, I can’t recall ever seeing a dwarf in a prison drama,” I replied.

    “There are no dwarfs in Prison Break, or Porridge. The same applies to Hollywood films. There were no dwarfs in Green Mile or Escape From Alcatraz either.”

    “Perhaps dwarfs are naturally inclined to be law abiding,” I suggested.

    Wanko was taken aback by my suggestion. “No, they’re right little bastards. Take the Wizard of Oz for instance. The film was renowned for the bad behaviour of the dwarf extras. Several cameramen “disappeared” during the making of it, and Judy Garland herself was gang banged by a mob of malevolent munchkins.”

    “Then what is the answer then, Wanko?”

    “There are no dwarfs in prison on the telly, Trevor, because there are no dwarfs in prison in reality!” Wanko stared at me triumphantly.

    “What the hell are you on about?” I was losing my patience with the loon.

    “Every prison in the world is entirely devoid of dwarf inmates. The reason for this is simple, they were deemed too dangerous for a normal prison to cope with. What was needed was a high security prison, far away from civilisation, where criminal dwarfs could be safely rehabilitated. A huge facility where every crime committing dwarf in the world could be sent, governed by the foremost dwarf expert in the world.” Wanko’s eyes gleamed with misplaced pride. “This is it, Trevor, the culmination of my life’s work! Willy Wanko’s Dwarf Penitentiary! As approved by the UN.” Wanko pointed to the UN Approval certificate mounted on the wall.

    “Then something went wrong?”

    “It wasn’t my fault! Something happened, something unforeseen, something terrible, so terrible it drove all the dwarfs insane. Not just insane, but insane in exactly the same way. Which is pretty strange when you think about it. Something so terrible it caused a prison revolt, which in turn has lead to me being imprisoned here. Something unspeakable.”

    “So unspeakable you won’t tell me about it?”

    “Nah, I’ll tell you about it, naturally.”

    “Go on then.”

“OK then I will.” Wanko stared at me for a while. Then he started speaking again. “As part of the rehabilitation process we gave the inmates new names, proper dwarf names, like out of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs,” Wanko said, looking thoughtful. “In theory this would make them more docile and easy to manage. Unfortunately one of the dwarfs took his new name to heart.”

    “What name was that?” I asked.

    “Escapey the Dwarf. Naturally, he started escaping from the prison at regular intervals. In hindsight I probably should have chosen a different name. We’d always find him wandering in the jungle, totally lost. Except for the last time…”

    I waited for Wanko to continue. He continued.

    “Yes, his last escape was his most successful. He evaded capture for several weeks. I thought I’d seen the last of Escapey the Dwarf. But then, on one fateful day he returned. Escapey staggered up to the penitentiary gate, and collapsed. But he was different, horribly changed. His skin was bright orange. He’d been Tangoed.

    “Oh my god!” I gasped in horror.

    “Indeed.” Wanko shared my horror. “The Tango Man had gotten Escapey. There wasn’t much we could do for the poor dwarf. We carried him into the prison infirmary, where he lapsed into a coma - a persistent vegetative state – basically lying on his bed occasionally weeing himself. We just left him to it. I thought that was the end of the whole beastly affair, but the horror was just beginning…”

    “Go on,” I pressed Wanko to continue his story. Which he did.

    “We caught glimpses of something moving in the background of the CCTV footage from the prison cameras, something orange and fat - The Tango Man had followed Escapey back here! All too soon other dwarfs were being Tangoed, at first lone dwarfs, but eventually groups of them. At one stage an entire exercise yard full of criminal dwarfs were simultaneously Tangoed. All of them slipped into comas. The UN placed us under quarantine, totally cut off from the rest of the world. We stacked the coma dwarfs on top of each other in the infirmary and waited. Then one day the random Tangoings ceased, as if the Tango Man had moved on. By this stage most of the dwarfs were bright orange and weeing themselves in the infirmary, certain to die. Luckily they were all criminals though so that didn’t bother the authorities.

    But then one night, one terrible fateful night, they all woke up. Every single Tangoed dwarf. But the Tangoing experience had driven them all irreversibly mad. They ran riot through the penitentiary, seizing control in a few bloodsoaked hours.”

    Wanko was interrupted by a commotion in the prison yard outside. We moved over to the window to have a look. The dwarfs outside seemed to be moving in formation. Then they burst into song –


Oompa Loompa, doompadee doo
We have a horrible fate in store for you
Oompa Loompa, doompadee dee
Forget about escape you’ll never be free

What do you get when you enter our lair?
We’re going to pluck out all of your hair.
Then we’ll chop off both of your legs
How do you like them eggs?



I don't like the look of them

I don't like the look of them

I don't like the look of them

Oompa Loompa doompadee dong
If you are lucky you won’t live long
Eventually we’ll have your knob off too
Like the Oompa Loompa doompadee do

     I turned away from the window, disturbed by what I’d seen and heard. “They’re insane!” I cried out in horror.

     “Yes, totally insane,” Wanko agreed. They think they’re running a chocolate factory.” He opened a drawer in his desk, revealing dozens of chocolate bars in wrappers. They looked lumpy, and there was a strange smell. “They don’t know anything about making chocolate though, so they use chocolate substitute. Their own shit. It is brown after all.”

     “That’s pretty disgusting,” I said, shaking my head in disgust at their disgusting doings on. Wanko started trembling and went pale.

     “You don’t understand, there’s nothing else here to eat. There’s nothing else to eat!” he cried out and started weeping hysterically.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Saddam Hussein on October 12, 2008, 12:35:40 PM
???
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on October 12, 2008, 05:53:38 PM
 ;D
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Taters343 on October 15, 2008, 05:24:06 AM
:laughingsmilie: Wow. Well, I have to go. First period is nearly over. Onward to history, which is sadly taught by my dad. Funny stuff Terror, funny stuff.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Terror on November 26, 2008, 04:45:44 PM
ACT 3 Scene Something Or Other

Tom Bishop: What? I'm in charge of the Flat Earth Society. Everybody knows that.

Roundy: Not in my reality.

Tom Bishop: Your reality is a heap of shit, Roundy!

Roundy: That's Doctor Roundbottom to you, MR Bishop.

Tom Bishop: You...

Roundy: Furthermore, I believe I have more supporters in this present than you. Ski, Robosteve, Taters, the other ones who's names I have forgotten, take Tom Bishop, Username and Dogplatter into protective custody. I command here!

Robosteve: Bendy light.

Tom Bishop: I...

Roundy: Shut up, fool!

Ski: Dogplatter's gone sir. He went off for a walk with Rowbotham.

Roundy: Find them!




Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Terror on November 26, 2008, 05:16:18 PM
ACT 3 Scene Something Or Other+1

Dogplatter: So, Dr Rowbotham, what do you think of my Photoelectric Suspension Theory?

Rowbotham: I think it's a load of old wank.

Dogplatter: What?

Rowbotham: It would never work.

Dogplatter: uuurgghhhhh.

Rowbotham: It's one of the stupidest things I've ever heard in my life.

Dogplatter: naarrggghhhh.

Rowbotham: Do not mention it in my presence again.

Dogplatter: I'll kill you, you ignorant bastard!

Rowbotham: Well, maybe I was a bit hasty.

Dogplatter: DIE!!!

Dogplatter kills Rowbotham.

Roundy and Tom Bishop arrive on the scene.

Tom Bishop: Dogplatter, I told you not to wander off and oh look, you've killed Rowbotham. Oh shit.

Roundy: For fuck's sake.

Dogplatter: Err... maybe I shouldn't have done that.

Roundy: You think?

Terminator Robot Raa: Rowbotham, I must terminate you!

Tom Bishop: Too late, he's dead already.

Terminator Robot Raa: What?

Tom Bishop: Look, his dead corpse is over here.

Terminator Robot Raa: Hmmm. To be honest, I thought I'd be destroyed before my mission was complete, squashed to death in a factory or something.

Roundy: Yes.

Terminator Robot Raa: I'm at a bit of a loose end at the minute.

Sokarul: Everybody freeze! Give me Rowbotham and I'll spare your lives!

Roundy: Rowbotham's already dead.

Sokarul: He can't be!

Roundy: He is. Look.

Sokarul: Oh.

Roundy: Well, Tom, I have to congratulate you. You came back in time to save Dr Rowbotham from NASA assassins, bringing a traitor, a psycho, and a terminator robot programmed to kill the very person you're supposed to protect.

Tom Bishop: wait up a second...

Roundy: And now you've gone and got Rowbotham killed. Before any of the NASA assassins actually managed to show up.

Tom Bishop: Look here...

Roundy: You've totally fucked this one up, haven't you?

The entire cast show up and sing.

It's a fuck up, yeah!
A big fuck up!
Rowbotham's dead and the future is fucked!
Fuckety fuck, fucking fucked up!

Is the Earth flat?
Or is it a globe?
Nobody knows
The Earth is fucked up!

What's going on?
Is this the end?
Nobody knows
The plot is fucked up!

We're singing this song
It's not very long
Everybody knows
This song is fucked up!

Rowbotham's dead and the future is fucked!
Fuckety fuck, fucking fucked up!


Tom Bishop: Son of a bitch.

THE END. OR IS IT?

Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on November 27, 2008, 08:32:30 AM
haha
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Saddam Hussein on November 27, 2008, 10:24:35 AM
A good ending.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on November 27, 2008, 01:42:39 PM
A good ending.

OR IS IT?
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Saddam Hussein on November 27, 2008, 02:21:21 PM
A good ending would be if you and I got married. :(
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Terror on November 27, 2008, 03:55:47 PM
Tom Bishop will return in Flat Earth: The Musical II: Die Newton Die!

It might not be a musical though.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Taters343 on November 27, 2008, 06:47:33 PM
The songs were the best part. I liked the one with the anthrax stick.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on November 27, 2008, 09:21:04 PM
Can't wait for the return!
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Terror on November 28, 2008, 02:23:56 AM
It's too hard to do fight scenes in a script format, that's why I want to change it.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on November 28, 2008, 02:31:49 AM
Pfftt excuses excuses
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: The Terror on December 13, 2008, 04:12:09 AM
but good excuses.

The musical doesn't seem to be in the same place I left it
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Colonel Gaydafi on December 13, 2008, 04:25:22 AM
General Discussion got changed to Boring Discussion.
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Roundy the Truthinessist on December 13, 2008, 11:46:40 AM
That was awesome.  ;D
Title: Re: Flat Earth: The Musical
Post by: Sexual Harassment Panda on December 13, 2008, 12:14:47 PM
Very funny. I can't wait for part 2, unless that was a joke?