The Flat Earth Society

Other Discussion Boards => The Lounge => Topic started by: PizzaPlanet on July 26, 2010, 11:02:53 PM

Title: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: PizzaPlanet on July 26, 2010, 11:02:53 PM
Serious advice, please  :-*
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: three-dimensional-world on July 27, 2010, 02:29:12 AM
Serious advice, please  :-*

Dear HM Queen Elizabeth II,

I am writing this letter to you in order to say the following Hello.

Yours sinsneerly Pizz Planet
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: Chris Spaghetti on July 27, 2010, 04:06:52 AM
Her Majesty The Queen
Buckingham Palace
London SW1A 1AA

Your Majesty,

I am writing today to ask when you are planning to stop sucking up millions of pounds of taxpayer's money and abolish your own outdated institution?

Your loyal subject,

Chris Spaghetti
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: Parsifal on July 27, 2010, 04:20:12 AM
With a pen and paper.
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: Crustinator on July 27, 2010, 06:11:28 AM
Dear The Queen,

How are you?

Yours,

PizzaPlanet
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: PizzaPlanet on July 27, 2010, 07:26:42 AM
Her Majesty The Queen
Buckingham Palace
London SW1A 1AA

Your Majesty,

I am writing today to ask when you are planning to stop sucking up millions of pounds of taxpayer's money and abolish your own outdated institution?

Your loyal subject,

Chris Spaghetti

I'm not a loyal subject. I might be trying to become one, but I'm not one yet.
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: Chris Spaghetti on July 27, 2010, 08:16:49 AM
I'm not either

But in that case it should be Yours Faithfully and instead of being addressed to the Queen herself it should be addressed to 'The Private Secretary to Her Majesty The Queen'
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: PizzaPlanet on July 27, 2010, 08:21:22 AM
Nah, non-citizens can write letters to the Queen. A secretary will read anyway.
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: Chris Spaghetti on July 27, 2010, 08:22:53 AM
Nah, non-citizens can write letters to the Queen. A secretary will read anyway.

I'm a citizen, I'm just not a loyal subject.

so whay are you writing ltters to the Queen?
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: PizzaPlanet on July 27, 2010, 08:26:25 AM
Because I'm too poor to study in the UK and I feel like ranting about it to the Queen. I'm not sure what my point is just yet. I think I'll ask for granting me citizenship, omitting the procedures. That way I could get a student maintenance loan.
No, I don't think it'll work, I just don't have better things to do. Also, I will probably be contacting other important people, too.
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: Chris Spaghetti on July 27, 2010, 08:33:03 AM
In that case you'd be better off writing to either the home or the foreign office, the Queen can't really do anything withuot parliamentary consent anyway.
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: PizzaPlanet on July 27, 2010, 08:54:15 AM
Oh? I thought she could grant citizenship in special cases, much like presidents in other countries.
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: monkeybradders on July 27, 2010, 09:09:35 AM
Her Majesty The Queen
Buckingham Palace
London SW1A 1AA

Madam,

 Your house isn't as posh as one would expect although I bet you have a lovely view. Is it true you can strip a land rover engine and service it?


I have the honour to be, Madam, Your Majesty's humble and obedient servant

INSERT YOUR NAME
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: monkeybradders on July 27, 2010, 09:12:43 AM
In that case you'd be better off writing to either the home or the foreign office, the Queen can't really do anything withuot parliamentary consent anyway.

And Parliament can't do anything without the queens consent. Aaaaaaahhh what a pickle.
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: monkeybradders on July 27, 2010, 09:14:37 AM
Because I'm too poor to study in the UK and I feel like ranting about it to the Queen. I'm not sure what my point is just yet. I think I'll ask for granting me citizenship, omitting the procedures. That way I could get a student maintenance loan.
No, I don't think it'll work, I just don't have better things to do. Also, I will probably be contacting other important people, too.

also, there's a queue for citizenship that starts here

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sangatte
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: Benocrates on July 27, 2010, 09:18:20 AM
send a pic of ur peen, she might be into it
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: PizzaPlanet on July 27, 2010, 09:42:15 AM
Because I'm too poor to study in the UK and I feel like ranting about it to the Queen. I'm not sure what my point is just yet. I think I'll ask for granting me citizenship, omitting the procedures. That way I could get a student maintenance loan.
No, I don't think it'll work, I just don't have better things to do. Also, I will probably be contacting other important people, too.

also, there's a queue for citizenship that starts here

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sangatte

That's one of the reasons I'm not applying for citizenship. Another reason is that the grand total of 1 week that I have spent in the UK does not constitute the required 5 years.
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: PizzaPlanet on July 27, 2010, 09:46:53 AM
I have the honour to be, Madam, Your Majesty's humble and obedient servant

I can't use that.
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: Crustinator on July 27, 2010, 10:03:16 AM
send a pic of ur peen, she might be into it

I've heard that this can often sway borderline decisions. Worth a try anyway. Write your name and address on the shaft so if the photo gets separated from your application they can reunite them later.
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: monkeybradders on July 27, 2010, 10:04:50 AM
I have the honour to be, Madam, Your Majesty's humble and obedient servant

I can't use that.

I have the dream, one day to be, Madam, Your Majesty's humble and obedient servant

try this
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: Chris Spaghetti on July 27, 2010, 11:37:50 AM
In that case you'd be better off writing to either the home or the foreign office, the Queen can't really do anything withuot parliamentary consent anyway.

And Parliament can't do anything without the queens consent. Aaaaaaahhh what a pickle.

Well, officially, but if the Queen actually used her powers she'd be out of her glitzy council estate in a heartbeat.
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: Mykael on July 27, 2010, 12:07:02 PM
You guys are all noobs.

The Queen is to be addressed as Her Royal Majesty (HRM).
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: PizzaPlanet on July 27, 2010, 12:31:13 PM
You guys are all noobs.

The Queen is to be addressed as Her Royal Majesty (HRM).

No.
http://www.royal.gov.uk/ThecurrentRoyalFamily/HowtocontactamemberofTheRoyalFamily/Overview.aspx
She wants to be called "Madam".
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: Benocrates on July 27, 2010, 01:18:41 PM
What country are you a citizen of?
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: Parsifal on July 27, 2010, 01:44:01 PM
I wonder what would happen if I sent the Queen a letter consisting of goatse in ASCII.
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: The Terror on July 27, 2010, 02:35:53 PM
I wonder what would happen if I sent the Queen a letter consisting of goatse in ASCII.

She's probably seen it, it's the sort of thing that Prince Phillip would find hilarious.
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: Crustinator on July 27, 2010, 02:45:11 PM
I wonder what would happen if I sent the Queen a letter consisting of goatse in ASCII.

She's probably seen it, it's the sort of thing that Prince Phillip would find hilarious.

Seen it? She's probably done it.
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: babsinva on July 27, 2010, 03:31:18 PM
Her Majesty The Queen
Buckingham Palace
London SW1A 1AA

Your Majesty,

I am writing today to ask when you are planning to stop sucking up millions of pounds of taxpayer's money and abolish your own outdated institution?

Your loyal subject,

Chris Spaghetti


No offense to anyone British - but I totally agree with Chris S, for the system is outdated, and by that I suppose you mean her queenship.  If so I agree.  England sounds lovely, but I just can't do the whole royal thing - the pomp and circumstance.  YEEEWWW !  I mean it looks great on TV, majestic and everything, but I would never bow to her.  It's like ah, get over yourself.

Is it true you can strip a land rover engine and service it?

It has been said that yes she can fix vehicles/autos, (how specific and about what parts - I do not know) and I think she did it during war time.  I don't think she's a dummy at all, I just don't want to bow to her.

Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: monkeybradders on July 27, 2010, 04:19:27 PM
In that case you'd be better off writing to either the home or the foreign office, the Queen can't really do anything withuot parliamentary consent anyway.

And Parliament can't do anything without the queens consent. Aaaaaaahhh what a pickle.

Well, officially, but if the Queen actually used her powers she'd be out of her glitzy council estate in a heartbeat.


            Queen
           |        |
         |            |
Lords | - - - - - -|Commons


one cannot exist without the other. Checks and balances dear boy, checks and balances. It's why we've never had a military coup.
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: The Terror on July 27, 2010, 04:28:53 PM
I think England could probably exist pretty well without the inbred aristos and their goatse ways.
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: Tusk on July 27, 2010, 04:56:40 PM
Because I'm too poor to study in the UK and I feel like ranting about it to the Queen. I'm not sure what my point is just yet. I think I'll ask for granting me citizenship, omitting the procedures. That way I could get a student maintenance loan.
No, I don't think it'll work, I just don't have better things to do. Also, I will probably be contacting other important people, too.

Try researching Scottish Universities. There may be differences in entry requirements from English institutions.

Then you could petition Moonheid McFishface AKA Alex Salmond on your behalf.

And by the way it's not all degrees in stovies and sheep shagging. RGU is recognised as one of the top ten universities in Europe for placements in a relevant career worldwide.
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: PizzaPlanet on July 28, 2010, 01:25:00 AM
Try researching Scottish Universities. There may be differences in entry requirements from English institutions.placements in a relevant career worldwide.
They're pretty much the same. I get a tuition grant instead of a tuition loan (bonus!), but I the living costs are higher (bad, since I can't get any loans/grants for that, and that's the problem here). Also, it's way too late to change my choices for this year.

What country are you a citizen of?
The Republic of Poland.
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: Crustinator on July 28, 2010, 04:14:07 AM
           Queen
           |        |
         |            |
Lords | - - - - - -|Commons


one cannot exist without the other. Checks and balances dear boy, checks and balances. It's why we've never had a military coup.

Umm. Are you suggesting the Queen could stop a military coup?

All military personnel have loyalty to the Queen drummed into them, which dates back to when local lords would raise their own armies and then kick the king/queen's ass.

But that wouldn't stop the army trying to take over the country in then name of the crown, should they be so inclined.
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: Benocrates on July 28, 2010, 08:53:45 AM
As a Canadian, I am a loyal subject of the Queen. And in my country, the Queen (through the Governor General) does serve a purpose in certain difficult decisions. Although she most often acts upon the advice of the PM, there are occasions where she actually has to act upon the best interest of Canadians (e.g. the last proroguing). But the ultimate responsibility is to prevent the government from going crazy and acting irresponsibly toward the public.
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: Jack1704 on July 28, 2010, 10:46:05 AM
Dear Betty,

I sit here wondering why you still have not brought back the death penalty, flogging and the stock for certain crimes.

May i suggest these crimes cover things as cow tipping, cooking pork in august and buying flying saucers.
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: Parsifal on July 28, 2010, 02:10:59 PM
As a Canadian, I am a loyal subject of the Queen. And in my country, the Queen (through the Governor General) does serve a purpose in certain difficult decisions. Although she most often acts upon the advice of the PM, there are occasions where she actually has to act upon the best interest of Canadians (e.g. the last proroguing). But the ultimate responsibility is to prevent the government from going crazy and acting irresponsibly toward the public.

What prevents the Queen from going crazy and acting irresponsibly toward the public?
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: PizzaPlanet on July 28, 2010, 02:21:38 PM
The government, duh
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: monkeybradders on July 28, 2010, 02:29:53 PM
As a Canadian, I am a loyal subject of the Queen. And in my country, the Queen (through the Governor General) does serve a purpose in certain difficult decisions. Although she most often acts upon the advice of the PM, there are occasions where she actually has to act upon the best interest of Canadians (e.g. the last proroguing). But the ultimate responsibility is to prevent the government from going crazy and acting irresponsibly toward the public.

What prevents the Queen from going crazy and acting irresponsibly toward the public?

She's 84, so probably an afternoon nap.

Anyway like i posted earlier neither the Queen, the Lords or Commons can't do anything without the others say so I assume it's the same in the colonies
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: Parsifal on July 28, 2010, 02:35:01 PM
Anyway like i posted earlier neither the Queen, the Lords or Commons can't do anything without the others say so I assume it's the same in the colonies

I don't even think we have Lords or Commons here. We just have a Queen and our Parliament.
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: monkeybradders on July 28, 2010, 03:28:38 PM
Anyway like i posted earlier neither the Queen, the Lords or Commons can't do anything without the others say so I assume it's the same in the colonies

I don't even think we have Lords or Commons here. We just have a Queen and our Parliament.

you surely have an upper and lower house?
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: Parsifal on July 28, 2010, 03:44:23 PM
you surely have an upper and lower house?

Yes, but they aren't called Lords and Commons.
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: monkeybradders on July 28, 2010, 03:51:48 PM
you surely have an upper and lower house?

Yes, but they aren't called Lords and Commons.

how is single life? pedant.
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: Parsifal on July 28, 2010, 04:04:10 PM
how is single life?

Irrelevant.
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: Benocrates on July 28, 2010, 04:20:03 PM
lawl. But seriously, the Canadian Senate is our version of the UK House of Lords. They are there to balance the common parliament in the same way that the Governor General balances both houses. As for the question of what happens if the Governor General goes crazy and acts against the public interest, along with the government (both houses)...we're fucked. There can be no guarantees in politics and government, but there can be steps that will reduce the chance of rash decision making. Like I've said somewhere else, its the reason for an entrenched constitution and a charter of rights and freedoms. Of course, any law (including entrenched law) can be changed through an amending formula, but it is so difficult to do that any change must be well thought out and heavily supported.

I think that the Queen of Canada also provides a key function that non-commonwealth states (e.g. the US) are lacking: honour and pageantry. The commonwealth (and particularly Canada's) system of honours and formality provides a sense of dignity to the realm. I think it is an excellent balance of the old school where honour was a real thing that determined the order of society and the new school of equality of opportunity.
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: Crustinator on July 28, 2010, 04:43:36 PM
honour and pageantry.

But she's only been to Canada about 20 times in all her reign.
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: Benocrates on July 28, 2010, 04:50:23 PM
honour and pageantry.

But she's only been to Canada about 20 times in all her reign.

True, but the Governor General is her representative, and performs royal duties. And my point was mostly about the system of honours and titles and so-on. The sovereign in Canada is the fount of all honours.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orders,_decorations,_and_medals_of_Canada (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orders,_decorations,_and_medals_of_Canada)
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: Crustinator on July 28, 2010, 05:03:07 PM
Yeah it just kinda seems pointless parading about when no one is watching. I don't know why you'd bother.
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: Benocrates on July 28, 2010, 05:12:44 PM
Yeah it just kinda seems pointless parading about when no one is watching. I don't know why you'd bother.

(http://www.mrpidot.com/yahoo_site_admin/assets/images/lol-huh.210123411_std.jpg)
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: Crustinator on July 28, 2010, 05:16:56 PM
Yeah it just kinda seems pointless parading about when no one is watching. I don't know why you'd bother.
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: Benocrates on July 28, 2010, 05:38:34 PM
Yeah it just kinda seems pointless parading about when no one is watching. I don't know why you'd bother.

*facepalm* lolhuh means rephrase
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: Chris Spaghetti on July 29, 2010, 02:35:42 AM
In that case you'd be better off writing to either the home or the foreign office, the Queen can't really do anything withuot parliamentary consent anyway.

And Parliament can't do anything without the queens consent. Aaaaaaahhh what a pickle.

Well, officially, but if the Queen actually used her powers she'd be out of her glitzy council estate in a heartbeat.


            Queen
           |        |
         |            |
Lords | - - - - - -|Commons


one cannot exist without the other. Checks and balances dear boy, checks and balances. It's why we've never had a military coup.

Well, nominally. In reality the Queen is little more than a rubber stamp for parliament, look at the controvosy surrounding Charlie when he spoke out against the 'Chelsea Barracks' development. We like  our royals to be seen, not heard (Which is damaging as it takes away the 'check and balance' that sort of figurehead is supposed to provide)
Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: monkeybradders on July 29, 2010, 02:49:57 AM
In that case you'd be better off writing to either the home or the foreign office, the Queen can't really do anything withuot parliamentary consent anyway.

And Parliament can't do anything without the queens consent. Aaaaaaahhh what a pickle.

Well, officially, but if the Queen actually used her powers she'd be out of her glitzy council estate in a heartbeat.


            Queen
           |        |
         |            |
Lords | - - - - - -|Commons


one cannot exist without the other. Checks and balances dear boy, checks and balances. It's why we've never had a military coup.

Well, nominally. In reality the Queen is little more than a rubber stamp for parliament, look at the controvosy surrounding Charlie when he spoke out against the 'Chelsea Barracks' development. We like  our royals to be seen, not heard (Which is damaging as it takes away the 'check and balance' that sort of figurehead is supposed to provide)

Charles isn't Queen (sic)

Title: Re: How does one write a letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II?
Post by: Chris Spaghetti on July 29, 2010, 02:52:02 AM
In that case you'd be better off writing to either the home or the foreign office, the Queen can't really do anything withuot parliamentary consent anyway.

And Parliament can't do anything without the queens consent. Aaaaaaahhh what a pickle.

Well, officially, but if the Queen actually used her powers she'd be out of her glitzy council estate in a heartbeat.


            Queen
           |        |
         |            |
Lords | - - - - - -|Commons


one cannot exist without the other. Checks and balances dear boy, checks and balances. It's why we've never had a military coup.

Well, nominally. In reality the Queen is little more than a rubber stamp for parliament, look at the controvosy surrounding Charlie when he spoke out against the 'Chelsea Barracks' development. We like  our royals to be seen, not heard (Which is damaging as it takes away the 'check and balance' that sort of figurehead is supposed to provide)

Charles isn't Queen (sic)



True but I still think there'd be a similar 'constitutional argument' to be had even if he was king **shudders at the thought**