1.) No dude I get that quantum level has some odd rules, although I'm not that familiar with them, I meant to point out that they're all body-forces... ones that would pull on all of an object equally, (neglecting the objects size) rather than acting on one of its surfaces, if such a concept can even be imagined at that size.
2.) Well.. aren't the nuclear forces always attractive too? I think you're right about EM not being conservative, but it usually is. People can make ones that aren't though... which we can't do on gravity... which is a shame

I have a suspicion that there are likely to be a couple of equations, one of which describes the attraction of two objects of opposite charge, and another which says something about the the relationship between field-strength, charge, and current... or rate of change of current, or somesuch, that might be considered analogous. I'm guessing a bit though, and anyway there are going to be differences like the one you mentioned about conservative-ness.
Anyway, that all sounds cool, gravity is then some illusory effect caused by relative motion? Fun stuff, bit deep for me though, can only speculate.
3.) When you swing the bucket you force it to change direction, that is acceleration, and F=ma holds. The F isn't a reaction... there are raection forces in your arm, internal ones, but there is also a resultant on the bucket.
A force is conducted through the arm to the bucket.
When the person stands on the ground the person "tries" to accelerate, but in so doing also "tries" to deform the ground, which deforms slightly and reaches an equilibrium as the internal forces change.
If the bucket was hanging from your arm or rocketting away and being held back by your arm, then it'd be the same idea. As it is, the person standing on the surface isn't changing direction or speed (neglecting earth rotation etc.) so it can't be the same...
there