1

The Lounge / Werepenguins 6: Over the Ice Wall OFFICIAL SIGNUP THREAD

« on: September 18, 2018, 10:21:09 PM »

Somewhere over the Ice Wall penguins hide...

Excerpts from the journal of Tom Bishop
9/1/2018
The Flat Earth Society has been dealing with a spate of attacks by evil and unusual creatures over the last several months.  In countries as far-flung as Scotland, Australia, Greece, and if the rumors are true, now Turkey, gatherings of Flat Earthers have been menaced by a most unnatural beast: the werepenguin!

I have convened a committee to decide what to do about this menace, including myself, The Engineer, Bullhorn, and Cinlef. We meet in two days.

9/3/2018
In the midst of discussing what to do about the dread werepenguin menace, it was Bullhorn who had the greatest insight, and the one that decided our course of action.  He pointed out that for some reason these monsters seem to have an issue with The Flat Earth Society, as all of the attacks thus far have involved us, and why would penguins have a problem with the Flat Earth Society?  It seemed so obvious when he pointed it out that I was shocked to have not thought of it myself.  We've been getting ever closer to an excursion beyond the Ice Wall to finally explore what lies there, a trip we've been planning for years but have only started to really make concrete plans about.  Might it be that this is where the werepenguins originated, they somehow discovered our plans, and are now worried that we will discover their home base?

So it was decided: we would push up the planned excursion, originally meant to be two years from now, to next week.  The Engineer would lead a crew of the brightest  minds the Society has to offer and together they would seek out the home of the werepenguins!  It was just a matter of deciding who would go with him...

9/5/2018
Together The Engineer and I have put together a crack team of the finest and most adventurous Flat Earth minds of our generation, to travel beyond the Ice Wall and find out exactly where the insidious werepenguins are coming from.  Dogplatter! Dead Kangaroo! Enraged Penguin! Dysfunction! Rick James! Erasmus! Ski! Ichimaru Gin! Pongo! Excelsior John! People that are virtually worshipped in modern Flat Earth Society meetings!Together with The Engineer these brave souls will travel south of the Ice Wall with the specific purpose of discovering the location of the werepenguin home base! They leave in four days.

9/15/2018
Dear God, the humanity!  Eleven went, only one returned, The Engineer, with a story so dreadful it would be difficult to believe if not for the gruesome photographic evidence he provided!  Not that photographs really count as evidence but still!  My God, Excelsior John... how did they fit his head up there?  How?

Time to assemble the B squad...

WEREPENGUINS 6: OVER THE ICE WALL

Sign up if you dare!

Doobie doobie doo...

Players
Wise
Shifter
Boydster
Pezevenk
Bullwinkle
DuckDodgers
Space Cowgirl
NotSoSkeptical

2

Technology, Science & Alt Science / Aussies confused by science fact or fiction: survey

« on: January 10, 2015, 11:15:17 AM »

I know there are some Australians on this board.  I was just curious if you share the same confusion as more than 40% of your countrymen over how long it takes for the Earth to travel around the sun or the 30% that didn't know that humans didn't live at the same time as the dinosaurs.

Also, how much of a problem do you think it is that your young people seem to be getting more and more ignorant of the facts as the years roll by?

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-07-17/science-literacy-falling-among-young-adults/4824232

Sobering, isn't it?  Apparently widespread ignorance of the facts of science isn't limited to the Western Hemisphere after all. 

3

The Lounge / using italics when addressing others

« on: January 07, 2015, 07:30:25 PM »

I've noticed ausGeoff sometimes likes to put others' names all in italics when he addresses them.  Just out of curiosity, what is that supposed to signify? 

4

Flat Earth General / MOVED: Hoax

« on: October 27, 2014, 08:57:31 PM »

This topic has been moved to Angry Ranting.

http://theflatearthsociety.org/forum/index.php?topic=62236.0

5

Flat Earth Debate / MOVED: Illuminati Base on Jewpiter?

« on: October 27, 2014, 08:56:40 PM »

This topic has been moved to Complete Nonsense.

http://theflatearthsociety.org/forum/index.php?topic=62241.0

6

Flat Earth General / MOVED: was shopping for flat coax cable

« on: October 10, 2014, 11:05:04 PM »

This topic has been moved to Angry Ranting.

http://theflatearthsociety.org/forum/index.php?topic=62181.0

7

Philosophy, Religion & Society / Marijuana kills

« on: April 16, 2014, 08:32:02 PM »

Well, not really.  But try telling that to Annapolis Police Chief Michael Pristoop.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/md-politics/like-wow-police-chief-is-hoaxed-on-pot-perils/2014/02/25/42bd0592-9e94-11e3-9ba6-800d1192d08b_story.html

8

Suggestions & Concerns / MOVED: The Flat Earth Theory's relevancy.

« on: April 02, 2014, 10:30:27 PM »

This topic has been moved to Flat Earth General.

http://theflatearthsociety.org/forum/index.php?topic=61319.0

9

Philosophy, Religion & Society / MOVED: Proofs from EJ.

« on: January 02, 2014, 06:55:03 PM »

This topic has been moved to Angry Ranting.

http://theflatearthsociety.org/forum/index.php?topic=60737.0

10

Technical Support / The rage smiley

« on: December 23, 2013, 08:07:05 PM »

Give it back please!

11

Flat Earth General / MOVED: what a lot of Round earthers think flat earthers sound like.

« on: December 19, 2013, 08:07:17 PM »

This topic has been moved to Complete Nonsense.

http://theflatearthsociety.org/forum/index.php?topic=60705.0

12

Flat Earth Q&A / MOVED: If NASA is in on some sort of conspiracy.

« on: December 17, 2013, 06:47:48 PM »

This topic has been moved to Flat Earth General.

http://theflatearthsociety.org/forum/index.php?topic=60685.0

13

Flat Earth Q&A / MOVED: The earth is flat, you mad round earth idiots?

« on: December 15, 2013, 05:37:17 PM »

This topic has been moved to Angry Ranting.

http://theflatearthsociety.org/forum/index.php?topic=60678.0

14

Flat Earth General / MOVED: Geocentrism - the Earth is at the Centre of the Universe

« on: November 23, 2013, 08:05:17 PM »

This topic has been moved to Philosophy, Religion & Society.

http://www.theflatearthsociety.org/forum/index.php?topic=60551.0

15

Philosophy, Religion & Society / MOVED: Homosexual Marriage

« on: November 23, 2013, 06:25:49 PM »

This topic has been moved to Complete Nonsense.

http://www.theflatearthsociety.org/forum/index.php?topic=60507.0

16

Philosophy, Religion & Society / MOVED: Christmas is way to early! Argh!

« on: November 23, 2013, 10:24:41 AM »

This topic has been moved to Angry Ranting.

http://www.theflatearthsociety.org/forum/index.php?topic=60545.0

17

Suggestions & Concerns / MOVED: Thork as full mod

« on: October 24, 2013, 06:33:43 PM »

This topic has been moved to Complete Nonsense.

http://www.theflatearthsociety.org/forum/index.php?topic=60275.0

18

The Lounge / MOVED: Tyranny Rains in FES

« on: September 17, 2013, 07:01:08 PM »

This topic has been moved to Angry Ranting.

http://www.theflatearthsociety.org/forum/index.php?topic=59917.0

19

Flat Earth General / MOVED: I'm glad the earth is flat because ____

« on: September 02, 2013, 10:29:20 AM »

This topic has been moved to Angry Ranting.

http://www.theflatearthsociety.org/forum/index.php?topic=59746.0

20

The Lounge / MOVED: Remember 8/30

« on: August 30, 2013, 09:01:37 PM »

This topic has been moved to Complete Nonsense.

http://www.theflatearthsociety.org/forum/index.php?topic=59718.0

21

Arts & Entertainment / longest game

« on: August 24, 2013, 10:27:56 PM »

I am officially now watching the longest game in both Phillies and Diamondbacks history.

Seventeen innings of baseball, so exciting.

22

The Lounge / MOVED: Is it free to join Stormfront

« on: August 17, 2013, 09:02:09 PM »

This topic has been moved to Angry Ranting.

http://www.theflatearthsociety.org/forum/index.php?topic=59530.0

23

Flat Earth General / MOVED: The world is penis shaped.

« on: August 17, 2013, 10:12:26 AM »

This topic has been moved to Angry Ranting.

http://www.theflatearthsociety.org/forum/index.php?topic=59607.0

24

Flat Earth General / MOVED: This is still a thing? Seriously guys?

« on: August 12, 2013, 05:22:18 PM »

This topic has been moved to Angry Ranting.

http://www.theflatearthsociety.org/forum/index.php?topic=59550.0

25

Flat Earth Q&A / MOVED: Are you people serious?

« on: August 10, 2013, 10:42:46 PM »

This topic has been moved to Angry Ranting.

http://www.theflatearthsociety.org/forum/index.php?topic=59513.0

26

Technology, Science & Alt Science / MOVED: RE vs FE

« on: July 31, 2013, 07:14:15 PM »

This topic has been moved to Flat Earth General.

http://www.theflatearthsociety.org/forum/index.php?topic=59403.0

27

The Lounge / Werewolf XI - Carnivāle! PLAYERS ONLY

« on: July 22, 2013, 06:47:58 PM »

Hear Ye, Hear Ye, the Oracle Speaks!

One week til the carnival arrives...

Michael MacTusk stared at the thermometer in disbelief, but the sweat running down his pasty Scottish face told the tale better than some fancy scientific instrument could.  It was a sweltering 24 degrees Celsius on this particular day, and it was supposed to start a heat wave the likes the Scottish countryside rarely saw, sometimes peaking at an unbearable 27.  If only it would rain! he thought gloomily, and bemoaned his stuffy British tendency to turn his nose up at air conditioning.

Well, at least we've got the carnival to look forward to, he thought, in an attempt to raise his own spirits.  And this was no ordinary carnival coming.  This was Dr Rowbotham's Traveling Medicine Show and Carnivāle!  Yes, there was a midway, and there would be games, and yes, the whole thing was run by a scheming, conning snake oil salesman, but everyone knew it was the freak show that made this carnival so unique.  From Rushy the Dog-Faced Boy to Enigma Z/V, the Siamese Twins, the collection of weirdos was enough to delight even the most jaded, obscenely deviant of tastes.  And the hooch show... that girl did things that would make a sixty-year-old whore blush!

MacTusk grabbed a cold beer out of his refrigerator and took a long draught.  Yes, the carnival would be fun.  Just the thing to take the town's mind off the blistering inferno they were assured they'd be enduring for at least the next two weeks.  They only had to wait a week for its arrival.

At that moment, he heard a cat's shriek outside his back door, followed by what sounded like... a wolf's howl?  It couldn't be, could it?  Frightened for Kitty MacWhiskers, he grabbed his gun and went out to investigate.

**********************************************************************************************

6 days til the carnival arrives...

"This weren't no murder," Sheriff MacWilmore insisted, examining the remains of Michael MacTusk.  "It were a wild beast what done did this."

**********************************************************************************************

5 days til the carnival arrives...

Ivan MacThork, the town's mortician, was busier than he'd ever been in his life.  All of a sudden business was booming.  Sure, the rash of wild animal attacks was unsettling, but it wasn't hurting his own bottom line.

He sighed when as he looked down at Sheriff MacWilmore's mutilated body.  "This will take some work," he said.  "Well, idle hands and all that."  He started to prepare his equipment when he heard a glass shatter upstairs.  He was home alone.

"Probably just a mouse," he said a little too loudly, laughing nervously.  He grabbed the nearest thing he could find to use as a weapon, a tiny but razor-sharp scalpel, and walked up the stairs.

The beast he found definitely wasn't no mouse.

**********************************************************************************************

4 days til the carnival arrives...

The church hadn't been this packed since the Black Plague, Father MacHoppy thought as he gazed down at the packed pews below him.  The whole town must be here, he mused, although it should have been allowed that at this point the whole town had dwindled to a third of the town, at best.

"In these trying times, it helps to turn to the Good Book..." the priest began, but it was immediately met by a curse from old Mr MacMidnight in the front row.  "Spare us your tedious ramblings," the old man managed.  "I've been praying to that God of yours all my life, and now look!  I'm the last surviving person in my family!  I've buried three sons, a daughter, and seven grandchildren in the last three days alone!"

"Now, now, prayer is always the answer, you just weren't praying hard enough!" the good priest responded, but he was now being drowned out by the boos.  He silently rubbed the cross around his neck and said a little prayer to himself.

Just then, he heard the door lock behind him.  And then he heard a faint metallic clang as the doors at the front of the building locked as well.  What's going on? he thought.  The church was a cacophany.  Then came the howl which made them all silent... and the fire that burned them... and the wolves, who fed.

**********************************************************************************************

The carnival arrives...

The tiny town of Feston, Scotland, had always been good for a couple to a few dozen rubes to part with their money, Dr Rowbotham mused as his small entourage arrived.  As soon as they got there, they set to setting up the tents.  Rowbotham traveled with a small retinue, and everybody lent some elbow grease to set up the maze of tents and attractions that would make up the carnival, just outside the town's limits.

Rooster helped her father set up the hooch show that he barked and she performed in.  Enigma Z argued with Enigma V as to exactly which direction the opening to a tent should face.  Even Spoon the geek, who had gotten his name from eating spoons whole, and Saddam the Pinhead lent a hand.  Rowbotham, meanwhile, went with Tausami, his trusted right-hand man and midget, to greet the townfolk.

But when they got to the town, they found it quite deserted.  There wasn't a soul walking the streets that Thursday morning.  It was a small town, to be sure, without many inhabitants, but he still found it passing peculiar.  And there was a smell... he couldn't quite place it, like charred wood combined with a burning leg of lamb...

"Look!" Tausami said.  Rowbotham looked down at his little midget friend and then followed his finger to the still smoking remains of a church.

"Christ, what's happened here?" Rowbotham said.  "We need to get the hel--" just as he was finishing the thought, he was attacked.  Tausami saw to his horror that it was a wolf.  But it didn't look like a normal wolf.  The thing that was now tearing his boss to shreds was huge.  He ran back to the camp.

By the time his short legs had carried him back to where the carnival was now a good deal close to being set up, he was out of breath.  "Were... were..."

"Where is Dr Rowbotham, little guy?" Rushy the Dog-Faced Boy asked him.  "And what are you trying to say?

"Were... were..."

"He's trying to say 'werewolf'", the shadowy figure said as it came out from the trees.  The others gathered around, all drawn to the drama that was unfolding.

"Wait, who are you?  -- No, I recognize you!  You're the bloody Oracle!"  Gaydafi the Bearded Woman shrieked.

"No, not him!" shouted Enigma Z.  "Yeah, whenever he shows up we all die!" Enigma V added.

They all turned on the Oracle.  "No, please, I'm trying to help you!"

"Get the bastard!  Tear out his throat!" shouted Rushy.  "Gabba gabba we accept you!  Gabba gabba one of us!" shouted Saddam as they approached.

The Oracle ran, but as he ran he managed to shout back the circumstances they were in.  "There are three of them!" (pant, pant)  "And they are among you!" (pant, pant)  "And one of you is psychic!"

He disappeared around a tree, and suddenly it was like he had vanished.

"We... we lost him," said a despondent Lorddave, Rooster's father and the hooch show barker.

"He'll be back," Tausami responded, his tone unmistakeably resigned.  "God help us all."

**********************************************************************************************

Werewolf XI has begun!

28

Flat Earth General / MOVED: Its in the Bible...

« on: July 22, 2013, 03:16:50 PM »

This topic has been moved to Philosophy, Religion & Society.

http://www.theflatearthsociety.org/forum/index.php?topic=59289.0

29

Flat Earth General / MOVED: You People Are Stupid

« on: July 18, 2013, 07:03:23 AM »

This topic has been moved to Angry Ranting.

http://www.theflatearthsociety.org/forum/index.php?topic=59253.0

30

Flat Earth Debate / MOVED: How many organizations are lying? (or: it's time to update the wiki)

« on: July 15, 2013, 08:12:05 PM »

This topic has been moved to Flat Earth General.

http://www.theflatearthsociety.org/forum/index.php?topic=58210.0