Hikikomori

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-23182523


This article resonated with me. After my career collapsed, I lost my home and long-term girlfriend I spent 3 years holed up in my room.

I've only started getting out of it in the last few months and I find that difficult. That's how I ended up at FES in the first place.

I posted it because I suspect some of you might have the same thing. If it makes anyone else feel better, then its worth the trolling I'm likely to get.

I'm not sure if you're being sincere or not, but I'll take the bait.

I have no qualms with admitting that this largely describes me, although I remain very much mentally and physically active where these people in Japan seem to have lost interest in doing anything at all. I write music; I write prose and am starting to work on essay-like articles on things I find interesting; I go for walks; I clean the house; I bake bread regularly; I play a quick game of chess every day; I read a lot, both fiction and non-fiction; watch films, lectures, documentaries etc. I am fortunate to have managed to re-enter the world of game soundtrack composition under a pseudonym, it provides a small yet survivable income. I had quit for a couple of years after becoming frustrated with the idea of writing to spec, but it's a necessary concession since I am no longer willing to work in an office. I see friends in person probably a few times a month, I've never been a big socialiser, although I am able to act up to it on occasion.

Being saddled with a relapsing-remitting form of depression, I do have prolonged episodes several times a year in which I more closely fit the definition of hikikomori given in the article, but generally I am not that bad. I was in therapy and on medication for the first half of 2011, but I decided to go cold turkey on both because they were making things more difficult for me. At this point I am, granted a clear mind, able to analyse and attempt to deal with my issues on my own. I suppose my eventual goal is to conquer my persistent issues and to "own" my lifestyle, I have serious doubts that I can do so during episodes, but when sober (i.e.: not overcome by depression) it seems both possible and desirable to reach that state.

The Japanese have a very rigid society and is prone to problems like this.

I'm fortunate enough to say that while I did spend a lot of time in my bedroom, I still went outside, talked to my parents and friends ,and socialized on forums.

I remember a rubbish Japanese horror filmbased on this problem from a few years ago - people becoming withdrawn and basically dying in their rooms.

Thork, how would you compare your situation to what's described in the article?

You seem sociable. You post pictures and videos of your life and made a thread for people to hear your voice. That doesn't seem to fit the hikikomori bill. Wouldn't extreme introversion go hand in hand with this?

 

Thork, how would you compare your situation to what's described in the article?

You seem sociable. You post pictures and videos of your life and made a thread for people to hear your voice. That doesn't seem to fit the hikikomori bill. Wouldn't extreme introversion go hand in hand with this?

 

Well two points for that. The first is I have been feeling way better these last 6-8 months and making way more effort. I used to only leave the house to go swimming. Also as the article says, these people don't want to be isolated. They just find themselves there and its hard to get out of that. That's the bit I relate to.

I'm not sure if you're being sincere or not, but I'll take the bait.

I have no qualms with admitting that this largely describes me, although I remain very much mentally and physically active where these people in Japan seem to have lost interest in doing anything at all. I write music; I write prose and am starting to work on essay-like articles on things I find interesting; I go for walks; I clean the house; I bake bread regularly; I play a quick game of chess every day; I read a lot, both fiction and non-fiction; watch films, lectures, documentaries etc. I am fortunate to have managed to re-enter the world of game soundtrack composition under a pseudonym, it provides a small yet survivable income. I had quit for a couple of years after becoming frustrated with the idea of writing to spec, but it's a necessary concession since I am no longer willing to work in an office. I see friends in person probably a few times a month, I've never been a big socialiser, although I am able to act up to it on occasion.

Being saddled with a relapsing-remitting form of depression, I do have prolonged episodes several times a year in which I more closely fit the definition of hikikomori given in the article, but generally I am not that bad. I was in therapy and on medication for the first half of 2011, but I decided to go cold turkey on both because they were making things more difficult for me. At this point I am, granted a clear mind, able to analyse and attempt to deal with my issues on my own. I suppose my eventual goal is to conquer my persistent issues and to "own" my lifestyle, I have serious doubts that I can do so during episodes, but when sober (i.e.: not overcome by depression) it seems both possible and desirable to reach that state.

This is going to sound a bit odd, but I was helped. Some guy I had a chance meeting with gave me work and invited me into his social circles. I really wanted to break the cycle but I didn't know how. I needed someone to give me a chance, but you don't get many chances sat at home. His making me do things, attend meetings, go for a beer, meet new people was something I would never have done for myself. I guess its easier to do things for other people when you don't feel you are worth much?

In short I don't have any advice. I got lucky. I hope I don't end up going back. What I will say is I was lucky that some guy on his way home from work took 2 mins to chat to me. It changed my life.

Was it your fault or do you blame somebody else for your condition?

I live alone. I don't ever "go out". I play pen&paper RPG with a small group of friends (all guys) every weekend. I don't work this month, so I've been inside pretty much the whole week, except the times I went shopping, and I'm loving every second of it.
The only problems I have are finansial ones. Apart from that, my life feels pretty great. Oh solitude, how I love you. Now if only those kids upstairs would stop stomping around each morning, ruining my beloved solitude.

I'm somewhat social, but I just have a few friends. I go out sometimes, but usually just a bar, a friend's house, etc.

What a frickin tough guy.

Off-topic, low-content posts have been removed.

Yeah, I can understand why that would be a problem in a place like Japan. This is just proof that collectivist systems cannot survive contact with individualist systems. As the article said, it's largely a symptom of Japan being half traditional collectivist oriental values and half modern Western individualism.

While many of us feel this way in the Western world, I rather suspect it's different. What's described in the article seems like a vicious cycle of unfulfilled expectations and stigma. Here, it seems more like the route cause of such situations would be anxiety disorders and unrelated ostracization.